


Do What You Do

by FancifulFollies



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Christmas Party, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Lawyers, M/M, Moving In Together, Other, Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Trans Character, a whole lot, more like acquaintances to friends to loves, peggy is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:06:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 115,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6429109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancifulFollies/pseuds/FancifulFollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton is Aaron Burr's new neighbor, and things only escalate from there.</p><p>****NOTE**** I got inspiration for this fic from @alexanburrsir on tumblr. She does great outlines for fics and has brilliant ideas, so y'all should check out her blog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really excited and really nervous publishing my second fic (my first is a college au with Hamilton/Burr, if you haven't read it yet) , cause you all have expectations now. I hope this first chapter doesn't disappoint, it's mainly just setting up things to come. 
> 
> Some points: Burr is around 28 in this, and is a paralegal at the law firm. I don't have too much knowledge on the subject, so details pertaining to his job will come in later.
> 
> ALSO I plan on switching between Burr and Hamilton's POV for each chapter, so the next one will be from Hamilton's! This fic is going to have a lot of stuff going on, but I promise it will be a fun, wild time!

When Angelica drops him off at his apartment at the end of the day, all Aaron wants to do is throw off his suit and go to sleep immediately. It had been a long shift at the office; Montgomery and Knox were really breathing down all of their necks to find any sort of lead in the defense case they were working. That combined with Jefferson and Madison’s constant bickering had been enough to set Aaron on edge for the duration of the day. If the two of them didn’t leave the office every evening holding hands, Aaron would never think that they were dating.

Aaron had been working with Angelica, Jefferson and Madison for almost five years now. They were an interesting team, none of them were very similar, and more often than not their work days usually involved them fighting and arguing, but they had somehow helped the law firm of Montgomery and Knox become one of the most sought out law firms in New York City. It was a taxing job, but Aaron would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it.

Once Aaron finally walks up the six flight of stairs to his apartment, (the buildings elevator had been broken for a week), he’s surprised to see a man attempting to unlock the door next to Aaron’s while simultaneously balancing a large box on his knee. Aaron watches him struggle from a distance for a few moments longer before walking forward.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” Aaron steps closer, the man jumping slightly at his question before turning his head. As he faces him, Aaron notices that he has some papers clenched between his lips, which muffle his reply. “I’m sorry?” The man opens his mouth, letting the papers flutter down onto the box he’s still holding.

“Shit, sorry, forgot I had those for a second.” The man says with a short laugh, indicating the papers with a nod of his head. “I said that would be nice, if you don’t mind.”

Aaron walks over and takes the box from his hands, allowing him to finally put the key in the lock and open the door. He walks into the room, and Aaron follows him in slowly, taking in the sight before him; there are boxes everywhere, a sure sign that the man had just moved in today. Aaron hadn’t even been aware that whoever had lived there previously had moved out. Whoever they were, they had always been quiet, and Aaron’s not even sure if he ever even caught a glimpse of them.

He sets the box down next to the others, brushing his hands on his pants before turning back to the man, who’s staring at the towers of boxes with a determined yet exasperated look.

“It took me over three hours to get all of these up here.” The man says, Aaron unsure whether he was saying this to him or himself. “Of course the elevator would be broken the day I finally decide to move out of my friends apartment. I’ve always had shit luck.”

“Well, it’s been like that for almost a week, so it wasn’t really poor planning on your part. Did you move all these yourself?”

“I suppose that’s good to hear, the universe isn’t totally against me then. And yeah, my previous roommates were working. They said they would help me tomorrow, but I was set on leaving today and really didn’t want to wait anymore and -- oh, excuse me for a sec, sorry.” He pulls out his phone, which had started to buzz in his pocket, and begins texting.

Aaron takes this momentary distraction to take a closer look at the man. He’s of average height, a little shorter than Aaron, but probably not as small as his baggy clothes would indicate. His skin is tanned, almost golden, and his dark hair is pulled into a bun at the nape of his neck. His eyes flick up suddenly to meet Aaron’s, who looks away immediately, feeling embarrassed to have been caught staring.

“Speaking of old roommates,” the man waves his phone, “they’re stopping over now to see the new place.”

“Is there a reason you left your old apartment?” Aaron asks, more as a way to hold the conversation instead of out of actual interest.

“It was just getting too cramped, with the three of us there. And my one friend, John, he’s gotten really into rescuing stray cats. He has about four now and my allergies weren’t helping the situation. I had already stayed with them three years longer than I planned, so I just figured it was time, you know?”

“Sure.” Aaron responds, eyes flicking to the door as he realizes once again how tired he is. “Well, I hope you like it here.”

"You’re welcome to stay if you want, and meet John and Hercules. I promise they’re good guys, despite their usual first impressions.”

“Oh, no, thank you.” Aaron starts to make his make his way back towards the door, realizing that there is nothing he wants to do less then spend time with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. “I’ve had a long day, so if you’ll excuse me…” He’s almost out of the door, but then the man has a hand on his shoulder, so he turns back.

“Wait, what’s your name, so I know who to send the thank you card to, for helping me out?” He gives Aaron a crooked smile, which Aaron returns hesitantly.

“Aaron Burr.” he extends a hand, which the man takes.

“I’m Alexander Hamilton. Nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ll see around.”

“Yeah sure.” Aaron removes his hand, which Alexander had been gripping tightly in his own. “If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to knock on my door.” And with that he walks out, eager to be in his own house and bed.

Later that night, while he’s attempting to fall asleep despite the loud voices coming from next door, Aaron can’t help but be a little annoyed. He knows that Alexander just moved in, but surely a little common courtesy surely isn’t too much to ask? Him and his friends have been unpacking things and talking loudly for hours. If Aaron had work the next day, he wouldn’t hesitate to go over and ask them to quiet down, but he had the weekend off, so instead he draws the covers over his head in an attempt to block out the noise. 

It works for a few moments, but then a loud voice, one Aaron recognizes to be Alexander’s, begins singing, and soon his two friends are soon joining in. Aaron groans and tries to pull his pillow over his head.

He’s used to things being quiet on his floor. Nothing too exciting or chaotic ever happened, which is one of the reasons Aaron has lived in the same place ever since he graduated college. The only crazy thing that happens is when the old woman who lives on the other side of him occasionally catches whatever she’s attempting to bake on fire.

A loud crash from next door makes Aaron jump in surprise. There’s a moment of silence, and then the sound of three voices laughing simultaneously. Aaron rolls his eyes and presses his pillow more tightly to his head.

He just hopes that things will calm down after tonight.

-

The next morning, Aaron is lounging around in his pajamas and on his second cup of coffee when there’s a knock at his door. He doesn’t move towards it at first, thinking that he had only been hearing things, when the unmistakable sound of a second knock echoes through the room. He gets up from his couch and walks towards the door, wondering if someone on his hall had gotten his mail again, which was a common occurrence.

When he opens the door, however, it is to see a smiling Alexander Hamilton staring back at him.

“Hey neighbor! Sorry to bother you so early, but while I was unpacking all of my stuff, I realized that I don’t have any coffee. I have a coffee pot and a whole lot of mugs, but no actual coffee. Usually I would just go out and buy some, but today is a day where I just really need some coffee in my system before I can start doing things. I kind of live off of coffee, you know? And you said if I ever need anything to just to knock on your door, so, here I am!”

Throughout his speech, Alexander didn’t seem to take pause once. He instead spoke all of his words in one breath, making it almost impossible for Aaron to keep up.

“Yeah...yeah, that’s fine.” Aaron responds after a moment, realizing that he did say that Alexander could knock on his door anytime. He just didn’t think he would actually take him up on the offer, which had been more out of politeness than sincerity. ”Come on in, you can borrow some of mine.”

He steps away from the door, allowing Alexander room to follow him inside, and goes into the kitchen to grab his tin of coffee grounds.

“Nice place.” Alexander’s voice says from behind him. When all Aaron does is make an affirmative hum, he hears Alexander take a deep breath. “Yeah I really like my place a lot so far, I mean, sure it’s only been a day, but I feel like I’m really going to like it. Plus it’s closer to my job, which is nice, and no cats, always a plus. Although it’s weird living alone. Do you live alone?”

“I do.” Aaron turns back around and hands Alexander the coffee grounds, hoping that he’ll just say thank you and go back to his room. But of course he doesn’t.

“Is that weird for you, living alone?” Alexander looks up at him, genuine interest on his face. “I can’t tell if I like it yet. Do you get lonely?”

“I guess I don’t really notice it.” Aaron lies, not wanting to get into this with someone he barely even knows. “It’s an adjustment, I suppose.”

“Yeah.” Alexander clutches the tin to his chest, biting his lower lip before shrugging. “I mean, it’s not a huge adjustment, I guess. I lived alone for a little when I was 14, after my mom died.”

“Oh…I’m sorry, I-“

“No, no, I’m sorry. I know people get uncomfortable when I say that, I didn’t mean to, I just ramble a lot.”

Aaron peers over at Alexander, who is shifting from foot to foot, looking at the ground. Aaron sighs and passes a hand over his eyes, half wishing that he had not opened the door so he wouldn’t have to have this conversation. But unfortunately, he did open the door.

“My mom passed away as well.” Aaron says, letting the words fall quickly from his lips. “My dad too, so I was raised by my Uncle, but I was pretty young so I don’t remember my parents that well anyway.”

“Oh.” Alexander is looking at him again, something unmistakable in his eyes. “Still, that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sorry.”

Aaron just shrugs in response. He’s always been uncomfortable with pity, it never does anything to rectify his situation, it just reminds him that he’s lost something and should be sad about it.

“Anyway, thanks for the coffee. I’ll make sure to return it when I’m done.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Aaron says as he follows Alexander back over to the door. “Consider it a housewarming gift.” He can’t help but smile at the look Alexander gives him when he says that.

“Thank you, seriously, thanks. You’ve saved my life. I’ll see you later!” And then he’s gone, shooting Aaron one last smile before disappearing around the corner.

And Aaron does see him later. In fact he sees him two more times in the same day, and then again and again the next day. Alexander stops by his room for the most random things, a little bit of sugar, milk, a pan, even a singular egg for some unknown reason. Each time, Aaron finds himself getting less surprised and a little more annoyed. He knows he told Alexander that he could stop by any time, but he didn’t mean literally _any_ time. But he also doesn’t know how to bring it up because he doesn’t want to hurt Alexander’s feelings, but Aaron really is reaching his limits of patience.

When there’s a knock on his door Sunday night, Aaron groans out loud, wondering what it was he’d done in a past life to deserve this. Still, he makes his way over to the door and opens it.

“Aaron Burr, sir!” Alexander says brightly, leaning on his doorframe. “I was wondering if you wanted to come out to dinner with us, it’s on me, as a repayment for letting me basically raid your kitchen the past few days.”

“Us?” Aaron asks, unable to stop himself.

“Yeah, me and my past roommates, John and Herc. We’re meeting up with a few other people for some drinks.”

“Well, thank you, but I’m afraid I can’t. I’m…busy.” Another lie.

“Aw, come on.” Alexander practically whines, giving Aaron a smile. “You can drive down and meet us there when you’re not busy.”

“I don’t have a car.”

“Burr, if you don’t want to come then just tell me, you don’t need to lie-“

“I’m not.” Aaron says with a roll of his eyes. “I really don’t have a car. And I work tomorrow, so I can’t go out tonight, maybe another time.”

“Ok then, another time.” Alexander looks like he’s going to say more, but then two other people appear behind him, cutting off whatever he was going to say next.

“You ready to go, Alex?” Asks the shorter of the two as he throws an arm around Alexander’s shoulders.

“Yeah man, let’s go!” The taller on says. “Eliza is already there and I can’t keep my girl waiting.”

“Shut up, Herc. You guys aren’t even dating yet.”

“Yeah but we _almost_ are, and the almost stage is the most delicate, which is why I can’t mess anything up, so let’s go already. Hey man.” He turns to Aaron and holds out a hand. “I’m Hercules Mulligan. And that’s John Laurens.” He nods to the other man, who gives Aaron a small salute.

“I’m Aaron Burr, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Sorry that you have the unfortunate luck of living next to Alexander, I’m sure he’s already annoyed the hell out of you. Lemme guess, he’s come over and asked you for various food items and probably knocked on your door close to a hundred times?”

“Oh, well-“

“Be quiet, Herc.” Alexander interrupts, face flushing. “I thought you were in a rush, so let’s go.”

Hercules and John snicker but start making their way downstairs, leaving Aaron and Alexander alone again.

“Sorry about them.” Alexander says, looking up at Aaron. “I told you how bad they are at first impressions.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Have I been annoying you? I really haven’t meant to, I just thought we were friends. Seriously, you can just close the door in my face the next time I knock if you want, I won’t take it personally.”

Aaron can’t help but raise his eyebrows at that, wondering how anyone could not take that action personally. He’s about to tell Alexander that he has been a little annoyed, but when Aaron looks at him, Alexander is looking so crestfallen that Aaron swallows his words and shakes his head.

“You’ve been fine, I have no problem being your coffee supplier.”

“Good.” Alexander is smiling at him again, and Aaron’s hoping he won’t regret this small white lie. “Well, I’ll see you later.”

When Aaron closes the door after Alexander leaves, he tells himself that the feeling in his stomach is due to the leftover chicken he’d eaten for dinner, and not because of anything Alexander said. But the feeling is a nice, fluttering one, not a churning one that is usually associated with bad, leftover takeout.

_“I just thought we were friends.”_

Aaron doesn’t know why those words hit him so strongly, it’s not like he hasn’t had friends before, he is friends with Angelica and Madison after all. Maybe it’s because Alexander's words seemed to come out of nowhere, surprising him; Alexander is not the type of person that Aaron usually attracts, and he's not the type of person that Aaron himself usually befriends. Or maybe it's the fact that Aaron's not sure if he even _wants_ to be friends with Alexander, they had just met after all. 

That night, as Aaron once again tries to fall asleep with his pillow pressed to his head as Alexander and his friends drunkenly return from their night out, he's already regretting telling Alexander that he wasn't annoyed by him, because God, was he annoyed. Is he overreacting? Maybe he is. A loud crash and more laughter echoes from the other side of Aaron's wall, the voices only rising in pitch. 

No, he's not overreacting at all.

-

The next day as Angelica picks him up for work, Aaron can’t help but nod off a little against the window. He barely got any sleep last night, thanks once again to Alexander and his friends.

“Long night?” Angelica asks him as his head snaps back up. “Did you have a hot date?”

“You know I did not have a hot date, Angelica.” Aaron says as he rubs at his forehead. “Try a new annoying neighbor.”

“You’re kidding? What happened to the little old lady next to you?”

“She’s still there, it’s the room on the other side. Some new guy. He hasn’t given me one moment of peace the whole weekend.”

“Good.” Angelica says with a smirk in his direction. “You have too much peace and quiet anyway, you need to get out more. You’ve been cooped up in that apartment ever since-“

“Angelica.”

“I know, I know, I’ll drop it, sorry.” And she does, which Aaron is grateful for. She always knows when to not push things too far.

Him and Angelica have been friends for almost seven years, he met her his freshman year of college, when she had been a junior. Aaron’s first year at Princeton had been rough, he had a lot of trouble adjusting to college at 16, and Angelica had been one of the first people to befriend him, and he’s always been thankful that she did. The Schuyler's are a great family, and even though Aaron has only met Angelica's sisters briefly, he had liked them instantly. But Angelica would always be his favorite; they had a relationship founded on mutual respect despite their many differences, and Aaron knows he wouldn't be where he is today if it weren't for Angelica Schuyler.  

They walk into the office together, Angelica telling him some story of her latest dating adventure, where the guy had been so nervous that he had choked on his spaghetti. 

"He was a nice guy, but it definitely ruined the mood." Angelica says as she walks into their office, throwing her jacket across her chair with a sigh, making Aaron roll his eyes at her. She was always so dramatic. 

Aaron walks over to his desk, which is unfortunately situated across from Jeffersons, and sets his things down on his desk. He sits down with a tired groan, which causes Jefferson to look over at him.

“Burr, no offense,” Jefferson starts slowly, a smirk spreading across his face, which is a sure sign that whatever he’s about to say is going to offend, “but you look like shit.”

“Thanks, Jefferson.”

“Give the man a break.” Angelica pipes in from over at her desk. “He had a long night, new neighbor, and apparently he’s a a force to be reckoned with. Aaron got no sleep.”

“Really? Well what’s his name, so I can send flowers?” Jefferson laughs and then winces as Madison comes up behind him and swats him on the shoulder. 

“Alexander Hamilton.” Aaron responds, not prepared for the collective intake of breath that happens around him at his words. 

 _“Hamilton?”_ Three voices echo back at him, all of them filled with surprise.

“Uhm, yes?” Aaron pushes his chair back so he can look at all three of them. “What, you know him?”

“Thomas and I went to college with him.”

“I only knew him for a year, but it was the worst year of my life.” Jefferson adds, shaking his head in disgust. “Forget the flowers, I’m sending him a pile of rocks.”

“Oh come on, he’s not that bad.” Angelica turns to face Aaron. “He works with my sister, Peggy, at Washington and Greene’s firm.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Aaron narrows his eyes as he looks back and forth between each of them. “Are you telling me this is the same Alexander that-“

“Got a professor fired?”

“Insulted me in front of the entire Columbia campus with a megaphone?”

“Blew his first day in court by having his opening statement go on for two hours?”

“Yes.” They all say the word in unison again, and Aaron groans, letting his head drop onto his desk with a thud. 

This was going to be so much worse than he had originally thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy seeing things from Hamilton's POV for this one, I had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> Also S/O to the people on tumblr who gave me ideas as to what Burr would watch on Netflix, I was dying from laughter.

When Alex gets home after his shift, he’s a little disappointed that he doesn’t run into Aaron on his long walk up the stairs (the goddamn elevator is still broken). He knows that they usually get back from work around the same time, but he’s been seeing less and less of him in the past week.

He still couldn’t believe his luck at the apartment he’d gotten. It‘s bigger than the one he had shared with John and Herc, _and_ he had it all to himself, which is amazing. Sure, paying the entirety of the rent is tough, especially since John had always been able to cover his ass if he was short on money. Buying everything he needed himself was also an adjustment, but Alex is starting to get used to it. Besides, he had scored big time in regards to neighbors.

When Aaron had shown up out of the blue the first night Alex had been moving in, Alex had been so caught off guard by his appearance that he had stupidly forgotten he was holding papers in his mouth, resulting in him sounding like a complete moron. But really, what could the world expect from him with Aaron looking the way he does? The guy is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, and those _eyes_. Alex knew immediately that he was a goner.

So who could really blame him for going over to Aaron’s room for trivial things like milk and sugar? Hell, he’d even gone over to ask for an egg one day, which he didn’t even need. Who ever needs just one egg? But Aaron hadn’t seemed to notice the absurdity of his request, and had let Alex in with a look bordering between amused and annoyed that Alex was beginning to adore.

John and Herc had teased him endlessly the night they had gone out for drinks and Aaron had refused to come along.

“Just leave the poor man alone!” Herc had said, shaking his head. “Not everyone is used to dealing with the whirlwind that is known as Alexander Hamilton.”

“Honestly.” John added, bumping his shoulder against Alex’s. “It took us years of practice to tolerate you. Maybe get to know him before inviting him to meet all of your friends as we proceed to get incredibly smashed.”

“Alexander doesn’t know how to get to know people first.” Eliza said as she slid into the chair next to Hercules when she returned from the bathroom, not even knowing the topic of their discussion. “He likes to dive in without thinking. You have to put in some actual effort if you want results. Anyway, what are we ordering?”

Alex knew that they were all right. He’s always been too aggressive, rarely thinks before talking, and gets caught up in his own mind too much, which had been one of the main reasons his relationship with Eliza in college had only lasted a mere three months before she broke it off. Luckily, they had remained friends despite the disastrous attempt at dating, which Alex is always thankful for, even if it did lead to him having the same conversation with Herc about his own feelings for Eliza;

“You’re sure you don’t mind if I date Eliza?”

“Yes, Herc, for the last time, it’s fine. We're only friends.”

“Ok…ok…if you’re _sure_.”

Anyway, it’s not that Alex doesn’t like getting to know people, he does, he just hates all the small talk and tip toeing around you have to do when you’re first getting to know someone. That’s why he just dives right in, tells people everything about him before he can stop himself. He prefers getting right to the interesting stuff, which is one of the reasons he had blurted out that he was orphan during the second conversation he had with Aaron.

He had wanted to take the words back immediately once he realized that he probably made Aaron extremely uncomfortable, but then Aaron had surprised Alex by responding with something just as personal. Then of course he went immediately back to the small talk that Alex hated so much, but it was a start, at least. Alex had gotten a small glimpse into the mysterious person that is Aaron Burr, and he wanted more.

So, who can really blame him for the levels of desperation he’s willing to sink to?

It’s Friday night, and Alex is extremely bored, like _extremely_ , he doesn't think he's ever been more bored in his life. He tries to distract himself but he’s in one of those moods where nothing can hold his attention for more than 15 minutes. He stands up from the couch with sigh and runs a hand through his hair. This is the only downside to living alone; he can’t just go into the next room and bother Herc, or get into trouble with John whenever he wants.

However, he _can_  just walk the few steps over to Aaron's room.

Alex knocks on Aaron’s door, rocking back and forth on his feet as he waits for the door to open. A few seconds go by without any answer, so he knocks again, louder, and smiles to himself when he hears footsteps approaching.

Aaron whips the door open and stares down at Alex, his face blank, but Alex can see one of his eyes twitch. Alex bites his lip to keep himself from laughing, and flicks his eyes up and down Aaron’s body, taking in his patterned pajama pants that he will most definitely tease him about later.

“What do you need, Alexander?” Aaron asks, his voice carefully controlled to try and hide his anger.

“Aaron Burr, sir! Sorry to bother you, but I was making some food and realized I don’t have any napkins!” Alex responds, smiling when Aaron’s face slowly changes to show his annoyance.

“Napkins...you knocked on my door at three in the morning, for napkins?”

“Well, I really value being sanitary. You’re welcome to join me and-“

Alex is cut off when Aaron grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around, pushing him back towards his own room. Once they reach it, Alex turns back around to face Aaron.

“Alexander, listen.” Aaron takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know this is a new thing for you, living alone, but….” Alex watches in amusement as he watches Aaron struggle to find the right words. “But can you please not keep doing this? I already don’t get enough sleep as it is, especially when your friends are over.”

“Oh, are we loud?” Alex asks, raising his eyebrows. “Why didn’t you just come by and tell us to quiet down? We would have stopped.”

Aaron opens and closes his mouth, clearly trying to control his temper. After a few more moments, his shoulders visibly sag and he shakes his head, and Alex finally takes pity on him.

“I am sorry, Burr, I’m not being annoying on purpose.” A small lie, but Alex rolls with it. “I promise that next time Herc and John are over, we’ll keep it down. However, I can’t promise that I won’t continue to run out of napkins, but if you get me some I won't bother you anymore...for tonight, at least.”

“Ok, ok.” Aaron lets out a small laugh and then sighs. “I’ll go get you some napkins then.”

“Do you want to hang out?” Alex calls after him when he goes back into his room. “I’m bored and you’re already awake, so I mean…” He thinks he hears Aaron groan from inside his room. He comes back out a few moments later and tosses the roll of paper towels at Alex.

“There. Do you have a Netflix account?”

“Uh, no?” Alex watches as Aaron scribbles something down on the piece of paper he also brought out, and then he’s shoving it towards Alex.

“That’s my account and password. You’re welcome to use it and watch something whenever you’re bored, because if you knock on my door at 3am ever again, I will not answer.”

“Fair enough.” Alex laughs, smiling even wider when Aaron smiles back at him. “Alright, well, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He walks back into his own room, smirking when he hears Aaron mutter the words “it never ends” behind him.

He pulls out his laptop immediately and flops down onto his bed. After typing in Aaron’s account and password, Alex peruses Netflix, curious to see what Aaron watches in his free time.

The more he scrolls, the more amused Alex becomes. Of course Aaron would be into documentaries, although Alex never would have guessed that he watches mainly ones about animals and the environment. Alex can’t help but snort when he sees one about pandas in Aaron’s recently watched list. God, there's a ton of food documentaries on the list as well. 

Alex considers watching the documentary titled _Girl Rising_ that Aaron has recently watched, which actually sounds intriguing, but then he sees another nature documentary,  _Planet Earth_ , that Aaron has rated five stars and clicks on it before putting in his headphones, eager to see why it’s so interesting.

He falls asleep within the first ten minutes.

-

Over the next few days, Alex doesn’t knock on Aaron’s door, well, at least not as much as he usually does. He does go over one night to ask for a teaspoon, but Aaron just slams the door in his face. Granted, his angry reaction may have been because John and Her were over again the night before, and they weren’t exactly quiet. Things tended to get very intense when they played monopoly.

As a sort of peace offering, Alex leaves a small box of earplugs outside of Aaron’s door with a small apology letter attached, hoping that Aaron will think it’s funny; Alex still isn’t sure what his sense of humor is, but it made Alex laugh, so he’s hoping it will go over well as an apology.

When he’s on his way to work the next day, Alex notices that the box is gone, meaning that Aaron must have gotten it. Alex can just picture the way that Aaron had rolled his eyes when he opened it. The thought makes Alex smile as he drives to work.

He’d been working at Washington and Greene’s law firm for almost three years now, and he can’t think of a better work environment to be in. He’d gone in only doing the grunt work at first, filing paperwork and running errands, but now he was a paralegal in the firm, and a damn good one. Sure, he’d messed up a little on his first day in court when Washington had allowed him to defend the client, but he’d been nervous, and when he’s nervous, he tends to talk even more than usual. Still, everything he’d said in his two hour opening statement was completely valid and necessary, so Alex didn’t see the problem, and he’d won the case.

The fact that Washington hadn’t allowed him a second chance ever since then made Alex grind his teeth in frustration whenever he thought about it. He knows that helping out the cases in any way is important, but he also knows that he could be a great lawyer if he was just given the chance.

Alex walks into the office and actively avoids looking at Charles Lee, whose desk is unfortunately situated to be the first thing he sees whenever he walks in every day. Lee is a dedicated worker, but that’s about where his list of good qualities ends. Alex can’t stand the guy, and never understands why Washington and Greene keep him on. He’s like that annoying dog that follows everyone around but never does anything except pee on the carpet.

“Alexander, mon ami, late as always I see.” Another one of his coworkers, Lafayette, strolls over towards him, his hands already full of paperwork.

“I am not late. Just because you like to get here early just to kiss up to Washington does not make me late when I’m on time, Laf.” Alex smiles widely at Lafayette, who shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his desk, stopping to kiss their other coworker, Peggy, on the cheek on his way. Alex rolls his eyes but then smiles to himself. Peggy and Lafayette were great together, even if the PDA was a little much at times.  

Alex and Lafayette had met in college and they had taken an instant liking to each other. Them combined with John and Hercules created a group that was pretty much inseparable, even now. They had tried to convince Lafayette to move in with them after they all graduated, but Lafayette had refused firmly, stating that he loved them but could never live with them without someone getting murdered.

Alex browses through his email and then clicks the tab shut, cracking his knuckles before he takes out the file that they’re currently working on. It’s the same old case they usually get; a husband has a secret girlfriend, the wife finds out, the wife gets mad, and then suddenly there’s an attempt on the girlfriend’s life, and now it’s their job to find the wife an alibi. Alex is about 80% certain the wife had nothing to do with it anyway, which makes the job easier. They just need the evidence to prove it.

Alex is flipping through the wife’s statement of what happened the night of the incident when another one of his coworkers, Peggy, stops by his desk to drop off a reminder about their meeting with Washington and Greene at six.

“Thanks Peggy.” Alex says as he stretches in his chair. “Any idea how long this one is supposed to go?”

“Probably no more than an hour.”

“Why do you ask, Hamilton?” Lee calls out from his desk. “You got somewhere more important to be?”

“Maybe I do.” Alex snaps back with a glare. He doesn’t have somewhere to be, not really, but he was planning on trying to ask Aaron to grab dinner with him again, since he had refused the first attempt.

“How is your new living situation working out?” Lafayette asks from his desk, putting a stop to his and Lee’s argument before it could even begin. “Do you like your new apartment?”

“It’s great!” Alex pushes his chair back so he can look over at Lafayette. “Seriously, you have to stop by next time Herc and John do. Although my neighbor might not be too happy with so many people over at once. I’ve been kind of annoying him lately.”

“I can only imagine.” Lafayette says dryly, making Peggy laugh. “I hope he is not faint of heart? Living next to you might kill him if that is so.”

“He’s around our age, so I’m sure his heart is fine. He’s a pretty interesting guy, actually, his name is Aaron Burr and-“

“Burr?”

Peggy and Lee say his name simultaneously, and Alex stops mid sentence, his mouth hanging open for a few moments before he speaks again.

“Yeah, what? You guys know him?”

“I went to college with him.” Lee drawls out, shrugging his shoulders. “He was pretty big stuff on campus, got into Princeton at like 16. I only met him a few times but I liked him well enough.”

Alex raises his eyebrows at the news. He never would have pegged Aaron for a kid genius, but damn, Princeton at 16. That’s impressive. He turns to Peggy, not bothering to respond to Lee.

“And what about you? How do you know him?”

“He works with my sister, Angelica, over at Montgomery and Knox’s firm. They’re like best friends. I’ve also only talked to him a few times, he’s very quiet, but he’s nice.”

Again, Alex raises his eyebrows at the new information. He had only met Peggy’s other sister Angelica like two or three times, but he was still having a hard time picturing her and Aaron as best friends. He couldn’t think of two people who were more different.

“Wait, wait.” Lafayette interjects. “This is the Aaron Burr that you are always talking about, Peggy? The one who was described as a, what was it, a prodigy?”

“Yeah! Angelica always tells me how great he was at Princeton. He had a bad rep at first, cause people really thought he only got into Princeton because of his namesake, because his father was the president at one point, but then he really proved himself. He apparently gave this amazing speech for one of their debate classes and-“

Whatever else she says, Alex doesn’t hear because his mind is spinning with all of this new information. Aaron Burr, a prodigy of Princeton College. This is great. Alex has already taken a liking to Aaron, but this made things even more exciting because he’s starting to realize how much they have in common.

They are both great debaters and want to work in the lawyer field. The fact that Aaron works for Montgomery and Knox is also interesting, seeing as they’re basically the rival firm of Washington and Greene. Everyone in New York knew these were the top two law firms in the state. It’s another thing that Alex can't wait talk to Aaron about the next time they see each other. Alex leans back in his chair and smiles.

This was going to be so much more fun than he had originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton is such a little shit but I love him.
> 
> More background will be given on characters in later chapters, I promise. And more fun times between Hamilton and Burr. I just needed these two chapters to set the stage for what's to come!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and any feedback/comments/kudos are greatly appreciated! Come talk to me over on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I wouldn't get this one out until Friday, but surprise! Somehow I did. Mainly because I'm using this fic as a way to procrastinate on my actual work.
> 
> But whatever, enjoy! x

“I really don’t see why you can’t just accept his offer and go grab dinner one night.” Angelica says to Aaron as she takes a sip of her coffee and taps her fingers on the table in front of them. “He seems nice enough.”

“I never said he wasn’t nice.” Aaron shoots back, already starting to regret accepting Angelica’s offer of getting coffee after work. “I just don’t see why that means I should accept his offer and then suffer for a few hours doing something I don't want to do.”

They had been on this topic for almost ten minutes, and Aaron really shouldn't have said anything in the first place. He shouldn’t have told Angelica that Alexander had asked him out to dinner not only a second time, but a third and fourth time. The guy is persistent, Aaron will give him that, but it doesn’t make the situation any less annoying. Aaron thought that giving Alexander his Netflix account would keep him off of his back, but he could not have been more wrong.

“Aaron, come on.” Angelica says, leaning forward in her chair. “What’s the worst that can happen? Either you have a good time or you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. Aaron, it’s been _three years_ since-“

“I’m aware of how long it’s been.” Aaron snaps, his hand clenching on the table. He ignores the way Angelica looks back at him and shakes his head. “You’ve met Alexander, do you really see us even being friends?”

“People think it’s weird that you and me are friends.” Angelica points out with a small shrug. “So, stranger things could happen.”

“You are nowhere near as annoying as he is. Besides, we have things in common, it’s not that weird that we’re friends."

“How do you know you don’t have things in common with Alexander?”

“I can just tell-“

“Bullshit.” Angelica laughs, raising her eyebrows at him. “Even you’re not that intuitive. Come on, Aaron, just give it a chance! If it goes well, you might be pleasantly surprised. If it goes bad, well, maybe he’ll stop knocking on your door every second of the day.”

Aaron sighs and fiddles with the covering on his coffee cup, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. He’s fairly certain that the cons outnumber the pros, but Angelica has a point. Maybe if he gives in and goes to dinner with Alexander, it will go poorly and then they’ll just go back to being only neighbors. No more midnight knocks on his doors. That does sound appealing.

“I’ll think about it.” He says finally, ignoring the way Angelica smiles at him. She puts her elbow on the table and extends her hand, her pinky pointing towards Aaron.

“Promise?”

Aaron rolls his eyes but extends his own hand and curls his pinky around Angelica’s. Pinky promises to Angelica were basically the equivalent of swearing on your own life. She had made him do them countless times throughout college and even afterwards. He’d only broken one throughout their friendship, and her reaction had been enough to cause Aaron to never break one again. 

“Good.” Angelica leans back, apparently satisfied at Aaron sealing his own doom, and then pulls out her phone. “I promised Eliza I would pick her up. You want me to drop you off before I do?”

“That’s fine, my apartment is out of your way, I can just walk back.”

Angelica stands up and grabs her purse. She’s about to walk over to the door when she hesitates, turning back to Aaron with a sudden softness in her eyes.

“You know I do this because I worry about you, right? I’m not trying to be pushy, I just don’t like the idea of you being all alone in that apartment.”

“I know.” Aaron responds quietly, smiling up at her. “And I appreciate it, even if I don’t seem like I do. I’m sorry for being so closed-off sometimes.”

“I’m used to it, you’ve always been emotionally stunted.”

“Jerk.”

“Ass.” Angelica quips back immediately, giving him one more smile before walking out of the café.

Aaron sits at the table a moment longer before going up to the counter and ordering some muffins that he can have for breakfast the next morning. As he walks outside, he can't help but wonder what would happen if him and Alexander do somehow get along. As much as Aaron likes to complain about him, Alexander isn't exactly a bad guy, just annoying, but even then, he's annoying in an almost endearing way. 

Sure, there were instance where Aaron really considered just slamming the door in his face, and he did on occasion, but for the most part, Aaron didn't really mind Alexander's daily visits. They were almost becoming part of Aaron's daily routine. He'd come home from work, relax for a half hour, then there would be a knock at his door. He'd watch some TV or read, and then go answer the door a second time. The third knock would usually happen right before he was going to bed. At least Alexander was consistent in his interruptions, they were becoming expected and comforting in a way, which almost makes Aaron even more frustrated about the whole thing. He doesn't like growing to expect certain things.

As Aaron walks, he thinks back to another common occurrence in his day to day life that has arisen due to his new neighbor. Aaron had been taking a shower one night, when he realized that Alexander's bathroom was right on the other side of his own bathroom wall. He came to realize this when he overheard Alexander singing to himself in the shower. Now, Aaron will never admit this to anyone, but he had been entranced by Alexander's voice because it was surprisingly good; he had a strong sound, and a certain rhythmic quality to the way he sang. Aaron may or may not have taken a much longer shower than usual in order to listen to Alexander as long as possible. The next few times they happened to be showering at the same time, Aaron would sometimes join in and sing under his breath, hoping Alexander couldn't hear him on his side. 

By the time he gets back to his building, Aaron is too tired to climb up the six flights of stairs, so he walks over to the elevator in the hopes that it’s finally working again. There’s no out of service sign, so he hits the button, sighing in relief when the doors open. He’s about to hit his floor number when an annoyingly familiar voice suddenly calls out;

“Wait! Hold the elevator please!”

Aaron’s finger hesitates over the number. He knows he promised Angelica that he would try to talk to Alexander, but he doesn’t want to do it right now, especially not in a confined area with no quick escape. Aaron pushes his finger forward and presses the “close door” button, but before they can close all the way, a hand reaches between the doors, causing them to open back up.

Alexander steps in, breathless and flushed. When he sees Aaron, he smiles instantly and pushes his hair back from his forehead.

“Aaron Burr, sir! Good to see you.” He steps in beside Aaron, and then narrows his eyes at him once the elevator starts to move. “Why didn’t you hold the doors?”

“I didn’t hear you.” Aaron responds, hoping that his face doesn’t give away the lie.

“Really? Interesting. You usually don’t have any trouble hearing me when I’m being ‘too loud’ in my apartment or when I’m having too much of a good time with John and Herc or when-“

“Alexander, please.” Aaron puts a hand up to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ve had a long day.”

“Doesn’t mean you have the right to be such a pain in the-“

Whatever else Alexander was going to say is cut off when the elevator lurches, causing Alexander to stumble forwards into Aaron, who throws out his arms to steady him. It’s only after a few seconds of silence that Aaron realizes they aren’t moving anymore. The elevator has stopped, but the doors aren’t opening.

Aaron immediately lets go of Alexander and pushes the button of their floor, but the elevator remains motionless.

“Well, this sucks.” Alexander says from behind him.

Aaron groans and hits his head against the wall. Why did these things keep happening to him? He presses the help button and holds his breath as he waits for a response.

“Hello, this is the maintenance desk, what is your emergency?”

“The elevator stopped moving.” Aaron says in what he hopes is a calm voice. “I tried pressing the floor and open door buttons, but nothing happened.”

“We will send someone to check it out immediately. Is anyone else in there with you?”

“One other person, yes.”

“Ok. Remain calm and we will have maintenance get you out of there as soon as possible.”

“How long does this sort of thing usually take?” Aaron asks, feeling his hands start to shake. “A few minutes?”

“Usually between a half an hour to an hour.”

“Ok…thank you.” Aaron steps away from the wall until his back meets the one behind him, and then he sinks down onto the ground, bringing his knees up to his chest. He rests his head on his knees and tries to take deep breaths because he can feel his chest starting to tighten. He hates small spaces, hates how constricting they feel, he hates everything about them. 

“Aaron?” Alexander kneels down next to him. “Oh God, you’re freaking out right now aren’t you? Shit. Ok…ok. Just remember what the lady said; remain calm, right? Stay calm and everything will be fine.”

“Sure.” Aaron laughs and lifts his head. “Stay calm, yeah, no problem.” He lets his head drop back so it’s resting on the wall behind him and he closes his eyes, trying to convince himself that the walls are not closing in on him. He hears Alexander sit down beside him.

“It’s pretty crazy that you work for Montgomery and Knox, and I work for Washington and Greene, huh? Like…first we move in next to each other, then we work at rival law firms, and we have friends that know each other. Like…that’s crazy, isn’t it?”

Aaron cracks open an eye and looks over at Alexander with a bemused expression. Was he really about to try and talk for the full hour they were trapped here?

“Hey! Did you ever get my present?” Alexander smiles at him, and Aaron thinks he can detect a teasing light in his eyes.

“If by present you mean the cheap set of earplugs that barely work, then yes.”

“Ha! So you tried them out. You’re welcome.”

“You know what an even better present would be?” Aaron asks, raising his eyebrows. “If you and your friends would just not be so goddamn loud all the time.”

“Well, you can’t always get what you want, Aaron.” Alexander says with a shrug. “Win some, lose some, am I right?” He shifts so he can open his backpack, and takes out a plastic container that holds, in Aaron’s opinion, the saddest salad he’s ever seen. “Do you want some?”

“Mmm.” Aaron wants to say no, but he suddenly realizes how hungry he is. “Do you have an extra fork?”

“Oh my _God_ , I should have known you’d be a germaphobe. No, I don’t, sorry.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but then remembers that he had bought some muffins from the café. He takes out the paper bag and then hesitates a moment before holding one out to Alexander.

“Here, eat it, cause that salad does not look very filling.”

“Thanks!” Alexander sounds genuinely surprised that Aaron offered him something so meaningless as a muffin, making Aaron feel slightly guilt that he hasn’t exactly been nice to Alexander lately.

“Sure. So…you know the Schuylers?” It’s a poor attempt at conversation, but Aaron can still feel the walls closing in on him, and it's making him lightheaded, so it’s the best he can in the current situation. Thankfully, Alexander seems like he can talk about anything for hours on end.

“Yeah! I dated Eliza in college, but it didn’t last very long. We’re still friends though. And I work with Peggy, she’s great. You know her?” When Aaron nods, Alexander takes a deep breath and continues. “I’ve only met Angelica a few times, and they were all after Eliza and I broke up, so she wasn’t exactly, uhm, nice, but I like her. She's very passionate about stuff.”

Aaron snorts. He can only imagine how Angelica must have treated Alexander after the break up; Eliza meant the world to Angelica.

“Who else do you work with?” Alexander asks him. “Besides Angelica?”

“Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.”

Alexander chokes on the bite of muffin he had been eating. Once he’s recovered, he turns to Aaron with a look of horror.

“Thomas Jefferson? Damn. I wondered what happened to him after college. What a little shit. I hate that guy.”

“He’s not too fond of you either.”

“Good.” Alexander smirks. “It’s only because I owned his ass in every debate class we had together. God, I hate him so much, even more than Charles Lee, which is saying something..”

“Lee? You know Lee?”

“Yeah, I work with him!”

“God.” Aaron shakes his head, remembering how annoying Lee had been at Princeton. “That guy used to follow me around everywhere. He tried to bribe me into writing one of his final papers our junior year. I told him I’d do it if he paid me upfront. He did, but I never wrote the paper, I’m pretty sure he failed the class.”

Alexander starts cackling loudly, and even Aaron smiles as he remembers the incident. Lee had been pissed, but it had been worth it.

“Damn, Burr.” Alexander says as he catches his breath. “Who knew you could be so ruthless? I like it.”

“Yeah, well, that was back in my college days, I’m much more calm now.”

“I wish I had known you back then. What did you major in?”

“I started out with a Religion and Philosophy double major.” Aaron says, remembering how his Uncle had wanted him to follow in Grandfather’s footsteps. “But I switched to Economics and Political Science as a Sophomore, with a minor in Women's and Gender Studies. What about you?”

“I did Political Science as well, along with Human Rights Studies, and I did a Latin American and Caribbean Studies and Urban Studies double minor. I almost went into politics, but then decided that being a lawyer sounded way more fun, and it's better suited for my talents.”

Aaron nods, silently agreeing with Alexander. If the guy had gone into politics, there is no way that he would have done well, not with a temper and mouth like Aaron has heard he has. He would never have survived.

“Can I ask you a question?” Alexander asks, pulling Aaron out of his own thoughts.

Aaron is about to open his mouth and ask if him saying no would actually stop Alexander from asking the question, but Alexander cuts him off, apparently not actually needing his answer.

“Why the hell do you watch so many nature documentaries on Netflix? Like…just why? I tried watching the Planet Earth one and fell asleep in like two seconds.”

“I don’t know.” Aaron responds, picking at his muffin. “I just like them.”

“Come on, that’s not a real answer.”

“I mean, I’ve always liked the idea of traveling, so I just…I think it’s cool to see all of the places in the world, and how different each place is. Plus you learn a lot from them, about animals and stuff. Like, once polar bears come out of their snow dens when spring arrives, they toboggan down the hill, and then the cubs follow the mother down. Their first steps are literally sledding down a hill.” Aaron pauses, noticing how Alexander is looking at him with a look that is almost fond.

“Ok, sure, that’s cute, but I don’t know about cool or mind blowing or -”

“Ok, then listen to this. Every year, three million caribou migrate across the arctic tundra. Three million. Have you ever seen three million caribou in one place, all traveling together? No.”

“You’ve got me there.” Alexander says with a short laugh. “So you’re telling me if you could do or see anything in the world, you would want to go see caribou migrate?”

“Ok, no, that isn’t my life goal. It would just be cool is all I’m saying. The documentaries are really interesting. You should try watching it again.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll stick to reading the Arthur Conan Doyle book that John got me, which you know, is actually interesting.”

“Did you know that the Tepuis in Venezuela were inspiration for his book, _Lost World_?” Aaron asks. “They’re towers of sandstone that were sculpted by wind and rain over the centuries.”

“Why would I know that, Burr? No one knows that.”

“Well, you would if you watched the documentary.”

Alexander opens his mouth to respond, but the elevator gives another lurch, and they’re suddenly moving again. When the doors open, Aaron scrambles up to his feet and exits immediately, Alexander following him out a few moments later.

“I’m never riding an elevator again.” Aaron says, breathing in deeply as his heart slowly starts to go back to beating at its normal rate.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Hm.” Aaron turns to glance at Alexander who is getting his key out of his pocket, feeling suddenly very grateful that he had been there with him in the elevator. “Hey, Alexander? Thanks, you know, for distracting me while we were in there. I, uhm…yeah, just thanks.”

“Anytime. What are friends for?”

“Yeah…” Aaron shifts back and forth on his feet before he continues. “Listen, I’m sorry I always say no when you ask me to hang out. It’s just…I really am busy.” That’s not exactly true, but Aaron doesn’t want to get into the real reason he says no every time.

“It’s fine, Burr.” Alexander smiles over at him. “I know I’m a persistent pain in the ass. Still, it pays off sometimes, since I still got what I wanted.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got to hang out and get dinner with you.” Alexander's smile grows wider at Aaron’s confused look. “Granted, it was in a cramped elevator and the food was pretty shitty, but still, it was fun.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that.” Aaron says slowly, realizing that while it hadn't exactly been a fun experience, it hadn't been horrible either.

“Well then.” Alexander puts his key into his door and opens it, turning back to Aaron. “I guess you’ll just have to make it up to me another time. See you later.” He throws Aaron a wink over his shoulder before walking into his apartment.

Aaron stands alone in the hallway for a few more moments before taking out his own key and unlocking the door. When he steps inside and shrugs off his jacket, he's surprised to find that he's smiling.

Maybe, just maybe, him and Alexander _could_ be friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THE MUFFINS MAKE A COMEBACK (for all the readers who read my other fic, lol, I hope you enjoyed them)
> 
> FUN FACT I got stuck in an elevator once and it was the worst.
> 
> Also I watched the whole first and second episode of Planet Earth for this fic. I am not ashamed. Can't wait to get into even more of Aaron's love for his documentaries.
> 
> As always, come talk to me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want, and I always appreciate and love any comments/kudos/feedback. Thanks guys! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so late! This week has been a lot of work, and the following weeks will probably be the same, so updates might be a little slower than usual.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Alex is drunk.

Like, _extremely_ drunk. He hadn’t planned on getting so drunk, but then John had challenged him to see who could do more shots, and Alex never backed down from a challenge, especially not one that he knew he could win. Sure, he might regret it in the morning, but as of right now, he’s feeling pretty damn good.

Hercules drives him back to his apartment and walks him up to his building and gets him into the elevator, telling him to call the next morning. Alex just smiles at him and waves as the elevator doors close. He hums under his breath until it reaches his floor and he staggers out, digging in his pockets to find his key.

Shit.

Where is his key? He checks all of his pockets again, frowning when he still can’t find it. He’s almost one hundred percent sure he brought it with him. Right? He grabbed it off of his counter, didn’t he? Alex tries to remember if he had grabbed it, but the memory won't come.

“Well, fuck.” Alex says to himself, wondering what he should do. He could just call Hercules back, tell him to come and get him so he can crash at his place. But he’s bothered Hercules enough today, and he already has a drunk John to deal with. Lafayette definitely won't come, he's always so grumpy this late and night, and Eliza is not even an option, she would never let him hear the end of it. 

Alex rocks back and forth on his feet for a few moments, weighing his options. After a minute or so of contemplation, Alex smiles to himself. He really only has one other option.

He walks over to Aaron’s door and knocks on it loudly, still smiling. He thinks he hears Aaron swear loudly on the other side, but Alex just keeps knocking. He even tries to knock the tune of a song onto the door, the one he had heard Aaron singing in the shower a few nights ago. It was so cute how Aaron thought Alex couldn’t hear him singing along with him. He has such a good voice. 

The door swings open suddenly, and Aaron’s face goes from angry and annoyed to concerned in a manner of seconds when he sees the state Alex is in. Man, Alex has missed that face, it's such a good face. Even though they had that nice dinner-date in the elevator, Aaron was still being distant with Alex, and he didn't like that at all.

“Alexander?”

“Aaron!” Alex croons, stepping forward and holding himself up by leaning against doorframe. “How are you? Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” He's not sorry.

“Are you drunk?” Aaron steps closer to him and then grimaces. “You are drunk.”

“I’m fine, you big worry wart. But I can’t find my key and I really want to sit down or like have a snack or maybe even both. Definitely a snack though, I'm starving.”

"Did you drive?" 

"What?"

"Did you drive?" Aaron says slowly, like he's talking to an idiot, but even his condescending tone makes Alex smile. "While you were drunk?"

"Oh. No, no, no, silly." Alex waves a dismissive hand. "Herc drove me back. But he doesn't have my key. Did I tell you about my key? I need my key, but I can't find it, Aaron. Where did it go?"

Aaron sighs and stares down at him, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else then talking to Alex. But then he steps back into his room and motions for Alex to follow him in. Alex smiles as he walks in, stumbling slightly over his own feet and colliding with Aaron’s back. He doesn’t even hesitate before wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist.

“Alexander.” Aaron’s voice is stern. “What are you doing?”

“What are _you_ doing, Burr?”

“Oh my God.” Aaron pulls Alex’s arms off of him and then turns around, fixing him with a firm look. “Just go sit down, ok? What do you want to eat?”

“Hot pockets.”

“What are hot pockets?”

“You know…” Alex waves his hand and then sings, “Hot pockets! They’re like…little bread pockets full of stuff. You’ve never had hot pockets?”

“No. They sound disgusting.” Aaron places a hand on his back and guides him over to the couch where he tries to make Alex sit down. Alex does for a moment, but then he stands back up and clutches Aaron’s shirt, which feels very nice against his hands. Aaron jumps slightly at the contact, but Alex just grips him tighter.

“Burr.” Alex sighs. “I _live_ off of hot pockets, why don’t you have any? They are the best. I need them. Go get some, please?”

“Alexander.” Aaron is staring down at him, and Alex can’t help but lean even closer. He has such nice eyes. “Just go sit down and I’ll find you something better to eat. I don’t have a car, remember? I can’t go out and-“

“Have I ever told you how much I like your eyes?” Alex can’t stop the words from slipping out. “You have great eyes. They’re like… _wow!_ Ya know? Well I guess you don’t cause you can’t see them but just trust me. Do you trust me, Burr?” Alex hears Aaron sigh.

“Yes, I trust you. Now will you let me get you some food and water so we can both go back to sleep and-“

“Burr, oh my God!” Alex steps back from Aaron and looks him up and down, realizing what he’s wearing. “You have plaid pajamas, like, matching tops and bottoms. You’re such an old person. Loooook, you’re even wearing fucking slippers. You are such a _dad_.” Alex feels Aaron tense slightly under his hands and a frown flashes across his face, along with another look Alex can't quite place, but then he thinks he must have imagined it because the next moment Aaron is taking Alex’s hands off of his shirt and smiling slightly.

“Can you just, stand there for a second? I’ll be right back.” Aaron turns around and walks into the kitchen. Alex laughs to himself about nothing in particular and looks around. He likes Aaron's apartment. It's so nice, nicer than his own. Maybe he'll have Aaron help him decorate his. Yeah, that would be fun.

Why is Aaron always so nice to him? Alex knows he's annoying, but Aaron is always so _nice_. Nicer than a lot of people have been in Alex's life. The thought makes Alex's stomach twist and he winces and sways slightly. 

“You’re not going to throw up are you?” Aaron is back, and he has a glass of water and a plate of saltine crackers in his hands. “Cause if you are I’d really appreciate you not doing it on my carpet.”

“I keep telling you I’m fine. Stop worrying. Are you seriously going to make me eat those nasty, bland crackers? You really are such a dad, Burr. You know my dad? He was the worst. Like, the actual worst.”

“Ok, Alexander, just sit down and-“

“He abandoned me when I was ten.” Alex sways again, but looks up at Aaron, who is staring back at him, his face blank. “I’m not telling you cause I want you to feel bad for me, cause other people have it worse ya know. I’m glad my dad is gone.”

“Alexander.” Aaron’s voice is soft, and he stoops down to put the plate and glass down onto the coffee table. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“I don’t care. Really, if he wanted to leave then fine.” Alex feels a familiar anger building in his chest. He can usually keep it at bay, but now he doesn’t even try to keep it down. It just keeps rising and rising. “He didn’t even come to my mom’s funeral, did you know that?”

Aaron shakes his head, and Alex steps forward, grabbing at Aaron’s shirt again. He needs something to ground him, cause he can feel himself slipping. He tries to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from talking, but the words just keep coming.

“Like, we weren’t good enough for him, right? That’s why he left. So whatever. I didn’t need him, I still don’t need him. Good riddance.” When he feels tears on his cheeks, Alex ducks his head and rests it against Aaron’s chest. He tries to take a deep breath, but he hiccups instead. When one of Aaron’s hands comes to rest gently on his back, Alex looks up at him.

“I think you need to go to sleep, Alexander.” Aaron’s face is always so hard to read, and the fact that Alex is still drunk off his ass probably isn’t helping, but he wishes he knew what Aaron is thinking. His voice is still so soft though, and there’s a kindness there that makes Alex want to bury his head back into his chest.

“Why are you so nice?” Alex asks instead, taking a step back. “You should just make me sleep in the hallway, cause I’m so annoying. I’ll just go.”

“That is not happening.” Aaron reaches out to stop Alex from moving, and pulls him back towards the couch. “I’m not just going to let you pass out in the hallway. Just sit down.”

“Make me.” Alexander responds, giggling. Did he really just giggle? He is so out of it. Aaron is looking at him again, but this time he looks exasperated. He crosses his arms, and then uncrosses them a moment later with a heavy sigh.

“If I let you wear my slippers, will you sit down and try to go to sleep?”

“You have yourself a deal. Hand 'em over.” Alex takes the slippers and kicks his own shoes off, letting them fly over to hit one of Aaron’s walls. He ignores Aaron's angry exclamation and wiggles his toes. “Oh yeah. These are nice. We should always wear slippers. Why don’t people wear slippers all the time?”

“I don’t know.” Aaron’s hands are back on his shoulders, and he pushes Alex over to the couch, where he flops down onto it with a sigh, rolling on his back so he can look up at Aaron.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“Hm?”

“Can we watch one of your weird nature documentaries?”

“Alexander.” Aaron sounds so tired, but Alex is selfish and doesn’t want to be alone, so he gives Aaron his best puppy dog eyes, and Aaron sighs, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine. But just one. Scoot over.”

Alex sits up quickly and pats the side of the couch next to him. Aaron sits down, turns on his TV, and soon has the Planet Earth documentary up. The opening sequence starts to play and Alex claps his hands in mock excitement. After a few seconds, Alex realizes that another noise is joining the music playing on the TV.

“Are you serious right now?” Alex turns to Aaron with his mouth open. “Are you humming along to the opening music? You are such a nerd, this is great.” He can’t help but laugh loudly.

“I didn’t even notice.” Aaron admits, turning to Alex with a smile that makes his heart jump."You have to admit it's catchy."

“Burr.” Alex breathes out, shifting on the couch so he can rest his head in Aaron’s lap. He looks up at him, wanting to see his smile again, but now Aaron is looking down at him with a mixture of surprise and discomfort. “You should smile more often. Like, your real smile.”

“What do you mean, my 'real' smile?”

“Your _real_ smile, Burr. Like, not your fake one, ya know? You have a great smile.” Alex grins up at him. “It’s Burr-tiful.”

“Oh my God.” Aaron snorts. He shifts slightly under Alex, but doesn’t tell him to move, which is unexpected. Alex shifts even closer. “Just watch the documentary, Alexander.”

Alex hums, but turns again so he can see the TV. His eyes get heavy almost immediately. These documentaries really are good for putting him to sleep. Before he knows it, he can feel himself drifting off to sleep, but not before he feels Aaron move him and then stand up slowly.

“’M not asleep.” Alex murmurs, reaching out blindly for him. “Wanna watch another one, they're so good.”

“Shh.” Aaron shushes him, and Alex feels a blanket being put on top of him. Alex takes the blanket and holds it tightly, snuggling further under it with a happy sigh. Aaron doesn't turn of the TV, but Alex hears him go into his own room. The calming voice of the narrator washes over Alex, and he's asleep within seconds.

-

When Alex wakes up the next morning, there’s sunlight streaming in through the windows and he blinks his eyes slowly, trying to remember why his head is pounding so hard. He sits up, a blanket falling off of him. He’s on a couch? He looks around, realizing he’s in Aaron’s apartment.

_Oh._

Hazy memories start coming back to Alex, and he remembers not being able to find his key and how he had stumbled his way over to Aaron’s room. He’s sure he had been annoying as hell, but he can’t remember the details, which is probably for the best.

Alex stands up and then looks down at his feet, which are covered by slippers. Right. He remembers that bit. He groans as the memories about what he’d said about his dad rush back to him. Why did he always get so personal when he was drunk?

“Good morning.”

Alex jumps and turns to see Aaron standing in the kitchen, a small smile on his face. He takes a sip from his mug and then holds up another one.

“I made coffee, if you want some, which I’m guessing you do.”

Alex nods urgently and shuffles over, taking the mug from Aaron and taking a big gulp. The warmth of it spreads through his body and Alex hums in appreciation, and he takes another sip.

“Thanks.” Alex raises the mug. “For this, and I’m sure for everything else you did last night. I don’t usually get that drunk, I promise.”

“It’s fine.” Aaron says, but he’s looking hard at Alex, like he wants to say something else but is deciding if he should or not. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

“Bits and pieces. Thanks for letting me wear your slippers.” Alex jokes, hoping that Aaron won't bring up anything else that happened.

“Anytime.” Aaron says with a chuckle. “But I more meant, well, you got kind of emotional.”

“Oh right, yeah. Ha.” Alex shuffles on his feet and looks down at the floor. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just unleash all of that on you or make you feel like you have to pity me or-“

“Alexander, it’s fine. I was just going to say if you want to talk about it more, we can. I mean, my father wasn't around either.”

“Oh.” This is unexpected, Aaron wanting to have a shared pity party. Alex isn't sure what to say.

“I mean…” Now Aaron is the one looking uncomfortable. “You don’t have to. Just…if you ever want to. I grew up without my dad too, and it was under different circumstances, obviously, but...” Aaron stops and clears his throat, looking more and more uncomfortable by the second, so Alex decides to put him out of his misery.

“Yeah. Yeah, ok. I would like that. But ah,” Alex grins up at him sheepishly, “maybe at a time where I’m not feeling extremely hung-over.”

“Of course.”

“Also, one more thing, could we keep that whole thing between us? I don’t tell many people about my dad. I mean, John, Herc and Lafayette know, but…”

“I understand.” Aaron turns and sets his coffee mug in the sink before opening his fridge. He rummages in around in it and then turns back to Alex and hands him a couple of plastic containers. “Here.”

“What are these for?” Alex opens one and sees an assortment of different foods.

“Every other week or so I make food for the older woman who lives next door.” Aaron explains with a shrug. “She usually burns whatever she tries to make, so I just try to help her out. I had some extras leftover so…”

“You really don’t need to do this, Aaron.”

“Well, when you told me you live off of hot pockets, I got a little concerned.” Aaron is smiling at him again, and Alex smiles back, a strange feeling blooming in his chest.

“You really are my guardian angel, Burr. Well, I should probably go and figure out my key situation so I can get back into my room. I’ll see you around.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Alex has the door open and is about to step out into the hallway when he pauses and looks back at Aaron.

“Hey. Thanks for everything, I really appreciate it. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Sure.” Aaron gives him another smile. “What are friends for, right?”

“Right…” That might be the first time Aaron has admitted to being friends with him. Why does it make Alex feel so giddy? 

“Besides, you said a lot of things last night that I’m sure I can tease you about for weeks. You know, like when you said-“

“Bye, Aaron!” Alex cuts him off before he can continue, not wanting to know what idiotic things he had said. He stumbles as he backs out of the room, and he wants to blame his clumsiness on his hangover and not Aaron’s words, or the way he's looking at him, but he knows which one is the real reason.

As he’s walking down the stairs to find someone to ask about getting into his room, he realizes two things; one, that he is still wearing Aaron's slippers, and two, that he can’t seem to get Aaron’s face out of his mind. He’s just so…so…

Oh God.

More memories of last night pop into Alex’s head suddenly. He stops on the stairs and lets his head rest on the wall as he groans with embarrassment. 

He’d called Aaron _Burr-tiful_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little shorter than usual, I might go back through it and edit it later today.
> 
> I'm goin back home this weekend, so I'm hoping I'll have more free time to write. Alex and Aaron are definitely doing to be closer next chapter ;) I hope you're ready.
> 
> As always, follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to talk! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST and i love talking to you. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long for an update, but this past week was INSANE but here is a new chapter and I hope you like it!

Over the next week or so, Aaron doesn’t see much of Alexander. He’s not sure if it’s because Alexander is embarrassed because of how drunk he had been the last time they talked, or if Aaron had scared him away with their conversation the following morning. Aaron had never been good with opening up to people, so he’s not exactly surprised that he might have made Alexander uncomfortable with offering to talk to him about his father.

Still, he hadn’t expected Alexander to avoid him afterwards. He thought that he had handled the whole drunk Alexander situation very well; he had been patient and had even let Alexander fall asleep on his lap. And it hadn't seemed like Alexander was upset with him, but then why is he avoiding him? It had to be because Aaron had tried to reach out. As usual, his efforts had backfired, and Alexander now wanted nothing to do with him. And what’s worse, Aaron is bothered by it for some reason.

As he walks to work (Angelica had been unable to pick him up) Aaron realizes that he actually misses Alexander bothering him. Somehow, without Aaron really noticing, Alexander had become a consistent figure in his life. They’ve only been neighbors for around a month, but Alexander has such a presence, it’s easy to feel its absence.

But Aaron doesn’t want to feel its absence. He doesn’t want to care whether or not he sees Alexander or not. He just wants Alexander go back to being his annoying neighbor and nothing more. Things are simpler that way.

Aaron thinks back to the way Alexander had looked up at him that night, his head resting in his lap. He had called Aaron 'Burr-tiful' and while that had certainly made Aaron laugh, it had also made his heart jump in an unexpected manner. But the thing is, Alexander is always flirty, so it probably hadn't meant anything, and hell, Aaron isn't even sure if he wants it to mean something. God, this whole situation is ridiculous. He's probably freaking out over nothing, he doesn't even know if Alexander is interested in guys.

As Aaron walks into the office, he's suddenly in a horrible mood. He tries to convince himself that it has nothing to do with Alexander, but he knows that's not true. He throws his bag onto the floor next to him, ignoring the way Jefferson scowls at the loud noise. Aaron opens the manila folder on his desk and begins to rummage through the papers. He reads through them at a slow pace, snapping at anyone who tries to interrupt him. After a few hours, he hears Jefferson sigh loudly. 

“Burr, what is going on with you today?”

Aaron looks up at Jefferson’s words, seeing the man looking at him from over his glasses. When he raises his eyebrows as Aaron continues to say nothing, Aaron just shrugs and looks down at the paperwork in front of him.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Oh please, you look like you just saw someone kick a puppy, and you’ve been ignoring everyone all day."

“And?” Aaron flips over one of the papers. “Is that really so out of the norm? I ignore you all the time, Jefferson. You’re annoying.”

“Well, well, well.” Jefferson drawls out, looking back at his computer screen. “Forgive me for being concerned about your well-being. I’ll try to be more of an uninterested asshole in the future, which I’m sure you’d say shouldn’t be too much of a problem for me, since I’m apparently so annoying.”

Aaron sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He always forgets how sensitive Jefferson is. He likes to act like nothing bothers him, but he gets all uppity whenever someone so much as looks at him the wrong way. Also, he’s probably the last person Aaron wants to have this conversation with.

“I just,” Aaron takes in a deep breath before continuing, “you knew Alexander in college, right?”

“Yes.” Jefferson’s eyes immediately snap back to him. “I had the unfortunate luck of knowing him. Why do you ask? Oh god, is he annoying the hell out of you? I bet he is. I’d say you’re welcome to come stay with me but, well, you’re not.”

“Thanks, Jefferson.” Aaron rolls his eyes.

“I’m just being honest. But come on, yes I know Hamilton, why do you ask?”

“I, well.” Aaron tilts his head back so he’s looking at the ceiling and not at Jefferson’s face. “I know he dated Eliza Schuyler, but did he ever date anyone else? Like, any guys?”

“Whaaaatttt?” Jefferson is staring at Aaron like he has two heads, and it makes Aaron regret his words immediately. “Oh my God. Burr, are you interested in _Hamilton?_ ”

“No.” Aaron clicks his pen angrily and goes back to underlining things on the papers, but he can still feel Jefferson staring at him.

“James! Get over here, you’ll never believe this!”

“Jefferson, what are you-“

“Burr likes Hamilton!” Jefferson says as soon as Madison walks over to their desks, and Aaron has to restrain himself from jumping over Jefferson’s desk and strangling him.

“Really?” Madison looks back and forth between Aaron and Jefferson, probably trying to decide if they were pulling his leg. Eventually, his eyes rest on Aaron and his mouth quirks up. “Interesting.”

“Interesting? It’s hilarious. Burr and Hamilton? Can you even imagine? Who do you think would kill the other first?”

“I do not like Hamilton.” Aaron says through clenched teeth. “I was just wondering if he-“

“Is interested in guys, right.” Jefferson smirks at him. “What, you’re just asking for a friend? Well, calm your pretty little head; Hamilton has dated many men in his past. I think he even tried to have a relationship with one of his past roommates, Jimmy or Jack or something like that.”

“John.” Aaron corrects before he can stop himself, and Jefferson outright laughs.

“Look at that, you already know his friends. How precious.”

“What are you boys laughing at?” Angelica is now making her way over to them, and Aaron groans. He never should have said anything. He should never say anything ever again.

“Burr is in love with Hamilton.”

“Oh my God.” Aaron lets his head drop onto the desk, wishing that the ground would just swallow him up. “It was just a simple question. I don’t even…I didn’t mean that I…just forget it. Please.”

“I think you guys would work well together, actually.”

Aaron lifts his heads at Madison’s words, searching his face to see if he was just kidding around. But, as always, Madison is looking down at him with a completely serious expression. Aaron’s not sure how that makes him feel.

“Well, thank you.” Aaron finally says, but then shakes his head. “But I really have no intentions of dating Alexander in the near future.”

“But possibly?” Angelica’s voice is full of excitement and when Aaron shrugs, she narrows her eyes at him. “Aaron, you like him right? So just ask him out.”

“I barely even know him.”

“That’s what a date is for, Burr.” Jefferson says with a roll of his eyes. “Although I could spare you the experience but just telling you that Alexander will only talk about himself and then probably insult you a few times without even noticing. You’re better off alone.”

“Shut up, Thomas.” Angelica snaps, throwing a glare in his direction that makes Jefferson scowl. She turns back to Aaron. “I’ve already given you my input on the situation, so I won’t repeat myself. But, I think it’s a good idea.” Without another word, Angelica turns on her heel and heads back to her desk.

“I don’t know if it matters,” Madison adds in, “but I think it’s a good idea too. Alexander really isn’t that bad and – don’t scoff, Thomas – and I think you deserve to take the chance. It might turn out well.” Madison also turns around and heads back to his desk before Aaron has the chance to respond.

Aaron picks a spot on his desk to stare at while he thinks about what everyone has said. It’s all too much to take in, especially when he doesn’t even know how he feels. Aaron honestly hasn’t even considered dating anyone in over three years, and now he has three people, well two, since Jefferson seems to hate Alexander, telling him to try and date again. To date someone he barely even knows. Someone who is annoying, someone who is constantly surprising Aaron, someone with a beautiful voice that pulls Aaron in, someone with dark eyes and-

“Hey, Burr!”

Aaron shakes his head as he comes back to reality and raises an eyebrow at Jefferson who is smirking at him again.

“Just make sure you invite me to the wedding, ok?”

Aaron rolls his eyes and doesn't respond, but he's very distracted the rest of the day, not even taking in the sentences he's reading.

-

The next morning, Aaron is woken up by a sudden, loud shout coming from Alexander’s room.

Aaron sits up straight in his bed, shaking his head in order to try and wake up faster. For a moment, he thinks he must have dreamt the yell, but then there is another one, followed by a curse.

Aaron throws off his blankets and scrambles out of bed, still feeling slightly disoriented, but he reaches his door and steps out into the hallway. He knocks on Alexander’s door, but there is no answer.

“Alexander?” Aaron calls out, knocking harder. Still no answer. But there is another yell and the sound of something falling onto the ground. Aaron hesitates a moment longer before putting his hand on the doorknob and twisting it, shaking his head as the door opens. Of course Alexander would leave it unlocked.

He steps into the apartment and looks around. Nothing seems to be out of place, but then he hears Alexander swear loudly again, and Aaron follows the stream of curses and swears himself when he finally finds him.

Alexander is standing in the middle of his bathroom, completely soaked and attempting to stop the stream of water that is coming from the pipes under his sink. When Aaron walks in, he turns and jumps in surprise, causing him to start to slip on the ground. Aaron steps forward to try and catch him, but then he’s slipping as well.

Both of them clutch at each other as they try to regain their footing. When Alexander face plants into Aaron’s chest, Aaron grimaces and pushes him back in an attempt to keep his clothes dry. When he pushes Alexander back, however, he grabs onto the front of Aaron’s shirt and jerks him forward. They begin to slip all over again, and one wrong step has Aaron falling backwards, pulling Alexander down with him.

Aaron’s head hits the bathroom ground rather hard, and when he opens his eyes, Alexander’s concerned face is blurry above him. He blinks a few times and shifts his body, but Alexander doesn’t get up, just continues to stare down at Aaron. The moment stretches on and on, and Aaron suddenly becomes aware of how much of Alexander’s body is covering his own.

He clears his throat loudly, which seems to cause Alexander to regain his senses, because he clambers off of Aaron quickly and starts to swear again when he sees how much water is covering the ground.

“What happened?” Aaron asks as he also stands, frowning down at his now drenched clothes.

“The hell if I know!” Alexander says in frustration. “The pipes just exploded all of a sudden and then this!” He gestures around the flooded bathroom.

“Have you called anyone?” When Alexander shakes his head, Aaron starts to make his way out of the bathroom, wrinkling his nose as his bare feet touch the carpet, which has also been soaked by the water. “Well you need to go tell maintenance so they can start to fix the problem.”

Alexander mutters under his breath as he opens his closet door and grabs two towels, throwing one of them over at Aaron.

“This is not the way I needed my day to go.” Alexander mumbles, throwing his towel over his head and rubbing his hair dry. “Especially when I just got back.”

“Got back?” Aaron looks over at Alexander. “You were gone?”

“Yeah, I was out of town. What, you didn’t notice?” Alexander smiles at Aaron. “I thought a whole week of silence would be a dead give away that I wasn’t here.”

“Oh.” Aaron is suddenly feeling very stupid about how upset he'd been earlier. “I…I thought you were ignoring me.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. I thought the whole conversation we had the morning after you were drunk freaked you out or something, and that you were upset. I thought that you thought I was trying to be too personal, or whatever.”

“Burr.” Alexander is looking at him in surprise. “Come on, you know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t do that. You reaching out was really nice, and I definitely still plan on taking you up on the offer to talk about all of that stuff. You should also know that me ignoring you is impossible, I’m obsessed with you.”

Aaron snorts when Alexander winks at him, but his chest is feeling lighter than it has in days. Alexander hadn’t been ignoring him.

“Well,” Aaron clears his throat again, “I have work in like an hour, so I should probably…” He trails off, but Alexander nods at him.

“Yeah, sure, and I should get someone to help me out with this pipe situation. Sorry about making you come over and – wait, no, sorry.” Alexander laughs. “You came over here on your own for once. Well, thanks for trying to help me. Sorry for getting your clothes all wet.”

“It’s no problem. Let me know what happens. I’ll see you around.”

“Is that a promise?”

Aaron rolls his eyes but smiles at Alexander before heading back to his room. As he peels his wet clothes off, Aaron can’t help but continue to smile. He’s still not sure why he felt so upset at the idea that Alexander was ignoring him, but now that he knows that wasn’t the case, he feels much better. He expects that he’ll be seeing a lot more of Alexander now, and the thought, for some reason, makes him happy.

-

What Aaron doesn’t expect, however, is to see Alexander bursting into his office around three hours later.

“What are you doing here?” Aaron asks, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice as a disheveled looking Alexander walks towards him, running a hand through his hair.

“Hamilton?” Jefferson rolls his chair out from behind his desk and stares at Alexander, the surprise on his face turning quickly to contempt. “Well, well, well. Long time no see, how-“

“Shut up, Jefferson.” Alexander says without even looking at him as he reaches Aaron’s desk. “I’m moving out.”

“What?”

“The stupid pipe that broke and flooded my apartment caused damages that are gonna take like a month to fix.” Alexander explains. “So I’m temporarily going back to live with John and Herc for the time being.”

“Oh.” Aaron clears his throat and looks down at the floor, and then back up at Alexander. Why does this news make him feel so weird? He opens his mouth to say something else, but is cut off by Jefferson.

“Why the hell did you come all the way here to tell Aaron this?”

“Because.” Alexander is still looking at Aaron, ignoring Jefferson. “I don’t have your number, and I’m gonna be all moved out before you get home, and since you thought I was ignoring you last time I was gone, I just wanted to let you know.”

“Oh.” Aaron says again, wincing slightly when he realizes how repetitive he’s being. He must sound so stupid. “Well, thanks for telling me.” A month is a long time. Aaron might not even see Hamilton for that whole month, their paths don’t really cross in any other setting than their apartment building.

“Sure. Well, I should head back. I have a ton of packing to do. And I promised Herc that I would buy some food because he says I eat too much of his. And I need to pick up a ton of allergy medicine because I’m pretty sure John has adopted like five stray cats by now and I’ll probably die and I-“

“Why don’t you just move in with me?” The words are out of Aaron’s mouth before he can register what it is he’s saying, and once he’s said them, there’s no taking them back.

“I’m sorry, what?” Alexander is looking at Aaron with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.

“I…you could just move in with me. It’s only a month, and you wouldn’t have to move all your stuff very far, and I don’t have cats, so I just…or not. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it was only a suggestion. Just never mind.”

“No!” Alexander almost yells the word. “I mean, no as in yes. Yes, I want to. If that’s ok? You haven’t changed your mind already have you?”

“No. Only if you’re sure though, I mean-“

“I’m sure if _you’re_ sure, or I-“

“Oh my _God_.” Jefferson groans, shaking his head. “You two are killing me. You’ve both agreed to a temporary combined living situation. Can you move on with the conversation now, please?”

“Here.” Aaron digs into his pocket to find his key. He thrusts it out to Alexander. “You can just start moving all your stuff into my apartment now, instead of waiting for me to get off of work.”

“I…ok. Yeah, thanks.” Alexander looks vaguely like someone has slapped him in the face, but he’s also smiling, which Aaron takes as a good sign. “Uhm, when do you usually get off of work?”

“I’m back around six, as long as Angelica and I don’t stop somewhere after. Here.” Aaron takes a post-it note from his desk and scribbles down his phone number before handing it over to Alexander. “Just text me if you need anything before I’m back.”

“Cool. Ok…yeah. Cool. I’ll, uh, see you later then, roomie.” Alexander winks at Aaron and grins crookedly at him before giving a small wave and heading out of the office.

Once he’s gone, Jefferson immediately whips out his phone and begins texting furiously.

“I’ve got to tell Angelica and James about this right now. They’re gonna freak.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. Madison and Angelica were both out running some errand for Montgomery and Knox, which was good since it meant Jefferson was the only witness to that embarrassing encounter between him and Alexander. He turns back to his computer and tries to focus on his work.

God, had Aaron really asked Alexander to move in with him? What had possessed him to do that? He hasn’t lived with another person in years, and he’d never been very good at it. There is no way this is going to go well. But still, his heart is beating excitedly at the idea.

He jumps slightly as his phone buzzes in his pockets a few minutes later. He takes it out and sees a message from an unknown number. Once he opens it, he sees that it’s a picture of Alexander outside of Aaron’s apartment door with a comment attached

            Unknown >>> you sure you want to do this? Last chance to back out, Burr.

Aaron chuckles under his breath and types out a quick response.

             <<< Go ahead. Just don’t bring any of those hot pockets into my house

When Aaron receives a string of happy face emojis as a response, he can’t help but laugh again. When he looks up from his phone, Jefferson is smirking at him,and he starts to hum the wedding march loudly. Aaron throws his pen at Jefferson, feeling satisfied when it hits him in the chest, causing Jefferson to cry out in frustration as the ink gets on one of his numerous expensive shirts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, Aaron has a little crush <3
> 
> WHO IS EXCITED FOR WHAT'S NEXT? For real guys, things are gonna get good. We're gonna get some burr backstory next chapter, and then lots of fun living together shenanigans, followed by so much more ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to leave kudos/comments/advice or just whatever! I love talking to you guys.
> 
> Also feel free to follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies (or message me privately to get my main blog, which I'm much more active on)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyy I got this one out pretty fast! It's a little longer than usual, but there was a lot for these dorks to discuss. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! x

Alex is moving in with Aaron Burr.

He, Alexander Hamilton, is moving in with _Aaron Burr_. It’s such an absurd idea that Alex can’t help but laugh to himself as he unlocks his own apartment door. He never thought this would ever happen, not in a million years. He had really thought he had misheard Aaron when he had suggested Alex move in with him. But no, this is really happening.

Alex takes out his phone and dials John’s number, figuring he should let him and Herc know that he’s not moving back in with them. John picks up after the third ring.

“Hello?”

“John, hey. So turns out I won’t be moving back in with you guys.”

“Really? They fix up your place that soon?”

“Nope. I uh,” Alex can’t help the smile that spreads across his face, “well, Burr offered to let me crash at his place for awhile.”

“Sorry, my reception is shit, I think I misheard that." He hears faint rustling on the other side, probably John moving the phone closer to his ear. "Who’s letting you move in with them?”

“Aaron Burr.”

“You’re fucking with me. There’s no way he would do that.”

“You don’t even know him John.” Alex huffs out, cradling his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he starts to grab some things to bring over to Aaron’s. “Besides, we’re friends, it’s not that weird.”

“Alex.” John says with a short laugh, and Alex can visualize the smirk he’s wearing. “Me and you are friends, hell, even you and Eliza are friends, but you and Burr? Not sure if I’d call that friendship. You sure he isn’t some crazy psychopath who will murder you in your sleep?”

“I’d say the odds of that are pretty low.” Alex responds with a roll of his eyes. “He had the chance to do that when I was drunk off my ass and crashed on his couch. I should be safe.”

“Fair point. Well, if you’re sure you’d rather move in with him then go for it.”

“You sure? You and Herc won’t be offended?”

“Alex, we love you, but we also love having more space in the apartment, so I think our egos will be fine. Besides, this just means I can get more cats. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work, but lunch break is almost over.”

“Alright, well I’ll keep you guys updated then. Go save some lives, Nurse Laurens.”

“Yeah, all those bandaids and booster shots, I’m a real live saver. We’ll keep the couch set up for you just in case things don’t work out and you need to make a quick escape.”

With that, Alex hangs up his phone and starts to grab more of his things, throwing them carelessly into boxes. For once, his hoarding tendencies are paying off, since he never got around to disposing of the boxes he had used to move all of his stuff in. He also had never gotten around to unpacking all of them, so moving everything over to Aaron's was going to be fairly easy.

Alex begins to hum to himself as he starts to make the trip back and forth between his room and Aaron's. He just can't wrap his mind around the fact that he's going to be living with Aaron. Is it weird that Aaron asked him? Sure, they aren't exactly best friends, but they are friends, or at least they're on friendly terms, right? It's not weird, Alex thinks to himsel

It's _awesome_.

Alex can't deny the fact that he's interested in Aaron; he finds him fascinating. He's so mysterious, but every new thing Alex learns about him surprises him, and there aren't that many people that can surprise him. Plus Aaron can keep up with Alex, which is nice; most people quickly tire of him or just get too annoyed by his personality that their politeness quickly becomes forced and then all of a sudden it's not forced at all, it just disappears completely. But Aaron, he seems almost amused by Alex's personality. Plus there's the fact that he had looked so sad when he had thought Alex had been ignoring him. That had been adorable.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and Alex pulls it out, smiling when he sees it's a text from Aaron.

     >>> I should be back in about five or ten minutes. I have some extra sheets in my bottom dresser drawer that you can use for the couch.

Alex bites his lip as he smiles and taps out a response

     <<< You mean we aren't sharing a bed? ;)

He sees that Aaron reads his message and then the little dots pop up on his screen as Aaron is writing out a response, but then they disappear moments later. Alex snorts when they pop up again, and laughs out loud when all Aaron responds with is;

     >>> No.

Still smiling, Alex makes his way into Aaron’s bedroom and goes over to the dresser. Sure enough, there is a neatly folded pile of sheets in the bottom drawer, and Alex gathers them up in his arms. He closes the drawer with his foot a little too forcefully, and causes a picture frame to fall off of the dresser.

He places the sheets on Aaron’s bed and stoops down to pick the picture up. He’s about to set it back down, but then he takes a good look at it; It’s a picture of Aaron, but he looks so much younger, and so much happier. He’s standing behind a woman with dark, curly hair and kind eyes. His arms are wrapped around her, resting on her stomach. What really catches Alex’s eye, however, are the rings on both of their left hands.

As he stands there looking at the picture, Alex feels like the floor has been ripped away from under his feet. Aaron had been married? Why had he never said anything? What happened to the girl and where was she know? Alex is completely lost in thought as he stares down at the picture, his mind whirling with all the possibilities that could explain why Aaron had never told him about her. 

“Alexander?”

Alex jumps and sets the picture down quickly, spinning around. He’d been so distracted that he hadn’t even heard Aaron come in, but there he is, standing in the doorway, looking right at him. If he had seen Alex snooping at the picture, he doesn’t say anything, and his face is so impassive that Alex can’t read it, but Alex thinks he can see some tension around his eyes.

“Hey.” Alex says, trying his best to make his tone carefree, despite the uncomfortable feeling of being caught snooping that is currently flooding through his body. “Found the sheets!” He picks them up off of the bed and strides back out into the living room, placing them on the couch.

When he turns back around, Aaron is still standing in the bedroom doorway, and when he turns to face Alex, his whole body looks tense and his eyes are dark, but in the next second it’s gone, and he’s smiling at Alex. But Alex can’t help but think how different that smile is from the one in the picture. This one is so much more empty.

“Do you want some food? I have some leftovers from last night.”

“Sure.” Alex hears himself say, but his mind is still on the picture. He’s curious now, and that’s always bad. When he’s curious he can’t keep that feeling down, and always ends up prying into things. But he tries to force the feeling away, and follows Aaron over to the kitchen, where's he's pulling some left over pasta out of the fridge.

They stand in silence as Aaron reheats it, and Alex can't help but look at Aaron from the side of his eye as he watches him gather some plates from his cupboards. He still looks tense, but his face is his usual mask of calm. It's unsettling, how well Aaron can hide what he's feeling, and Alex isn't sure if he likes it. Sometimes he wants to make Aaron mad, just so he can see what's really going through his head.

They both sit down at Aaron's table and begin to eat. Alex is suddenly unable to sit still, and he begins to drum his fingers on the table. He wants Aaron to look at him, wants him to talk to him, but he's staring stubbornly down at his own food. Alex breathes out heavily through his nose as Aaron continues to ignore him. Well, it looks like he's going to have to be the one to initiate conversation. It's time to learn more about the mystery that is Aaron Burr.

“Can I ask you something?” Alex asks, watching Aaron intently as he swirls his fork into the pasta, not looking back at him. When he shrugs, Alex takes that as an affirmative. “You’re like, rich, aren’t you?”

“Why do you think that?” Aaron looks up at him now, his eyebrows raised. He sounds genuinely curious, even amused by Alex's question. Ok, so he doesn't feel uncomfortable talking about money.

“I mean, I heard that your dad was President of Princeton at one point, so I mean, I just figured.”

“Well, my parents were rich, I don’t know if I’d say I am, I’ve never been the best at managing my own expenses. But I’m well off.”

“Then why do you live here? I mean,” Alex gestures vaguely around the room, “this isn’t exactly top quality living, you could afford a better place right?”

“I suppose. I like living here though, I’ve lived here since I got out of college, it’s comfortable.”

“Hm.” Alex thinks there must be more to the story. No one would want to live in this apartment complex for almost ten years just because it’s comfortable, especially not someone who has money like he knows Aaron does. So he keeps pushing. “Have you always lived alone?”

“Alexander.” Aaron looks back down at his food, and Alex sees the side of his mouth twitch slightly. “What’s with the interrogation?”

“I’m just making conversation." Alex responds innocently. "I mean, I am living with you, it’s only fair that I know stuff about you.”

“I wasn’t aware that was a condition of the arrangement. Do I get to attack you with extremely personal questions as well?”

“Go for it.” Alex challenges, knowing Aaron will refuse. “I’m an open book.”

“I’d rather not.” Aaron pushes his chair back and collects his plate, which still has food on it, and he heads over to the sink. “Besides, you know enough about me already.”

“Do I though? Cause I really don’t think I do. Like, why don’t you have a car?”

“A lot of people don't have cars.” Aaron laughs out, but Alex can hear the forced tone of it. Finally, he's getting somewhere, he's starting to find Aaron's cracks. "Is that really important, whether or not I own a car?"

“I don't know, you tell me.” Alex can see Aaron’s shoulders tense, but he can’t help himself from continuing to pester him. “Do you know how to drive?”

“Yes, I just don’t like to, so I don’t see the need for a car when I can just take the subway or get a ride from someone else.”

“But why don’t you like to drive?”

“Because I don’t.” Aaron says shortly, still facing the sink as he washes his dishes.

“See, this is what I mean.” Alex says angrily, letting his fork clatter onto his plate. He’s not even sure why this is upsetting him so much. “You’re so secretive! You never tell me anything.”

“That’s not true, I-“

“Ok sure, you told me that Charles Lee story, big whoop. I don’t know anything about you, Burr! I’m basically living with a stranger!” Alex watches from his seat as Aaron turns back around to face him, his expression closed off but Alex thinks he can see anger in his eyes.

“If it makes you that uncomfortable, then you can leave. You don’t have to be here, you didn't have to accept my offer.”

“Aaron, come on.” Alex rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Don’t be like that, I don’t want to leave, I just want to know more about you, I don’t know anything.”

“You do know things about me.”

“No I don’t.” Alex feels his temper rising, and he knows he’s going to cross a line soon, but as always, he's unable to stop himself. “I know you went to Princeton at sixteen and that your parents are dead, that’s it. Like, I didn’t know you were married, but apparently you were.”

Aaron’s eyes pierce into his, and his hands clench at his sides, and Alex knows that he’s found something to rile Aaron up, and it’s such a nice difference from Aaron’s usual passivity that Alex decides to keep pushing.

“Who is that girl in the picture? Why did you never tell me about her or even mention her?”

“Why would I do that?” Aaron snaps out, starting to lose his own temper. “As you’ve said many times, we barely know each other.”

“Come on, Burr, just tell me! Who is she? Why didn’t the marriage work out?”

“Stop it, Alexander, just-“

“Just tell me, why is it such a big deal? Why haven’t you mentioned her once? Where is she now?”

“She’s dead.”

Alex snaps his mouth shut and uncrosses his arms. _Shit_. Aaron flicks his eyes up to his and then back down to the ground, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

“Shit.” Alex mutters, feeling all the fight drain out at once, replaced immediately by guilt and mortification. “Burr, I’m an asshole. I’m sorry. I’m…shit. I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have-"

“It’s fine.” Aaron says, even thought it’s clearly not. He turns back to the sink and puts the rest of the dishes in with more force than necessary, the plates clattering together.

Alex sits in his seat in silence, still mentally yelling at himself for being such an ass. He needs to learn to not be so goddamn nosy. He searches in his head for something to say, for anything to say, but for once, words fail him.

“It was a car crash.” Aaron says shortly, turning on the water faucet. “Three years ago.”

“Aaron, you don’t need to talk about it if you-“

“It’s fine.” Aaron repeats, turning the water of and then sitting back down. ”You wanted to hear the story so I’ll tell you. Angelica is always saying how I need to be more open anyway.”

I…” Alex shifts in his chair, feeling uncomfortable, but he did ask. No, he didn't ask, he pushed, so if Aaron wants to tell him then he shouldn't refuse. “Ok. If you want to tell me…”

“I met Theodosia at Princeton in my second year. She was a senior, and I never understood why she took notice of me, but she did.” Aaron looks over Alex’s shoulder, lost in thought for a few moments. “We started dating when I was a junior, after she graduated. She was working to get a teaching degree so she was still near campus. Then I asked her to marry me pretty much as soon as I graduated. “

“So you were what, nineteen?” Alex asks, trying to picture a nineteen year old Aaron getting married.

“I was a little over twenty, but yes, I was young, and people gave us a lot of shit for marrying that young, but we both knew there wasn’t going to be anyone else, so why wait? We got married and moved in together in this apartment.” Aaron looks him in the eye at that, and lifts his mouth in an attempt at a smile. “I’m sure there’s so messed up reasoning in that to explain why I’ve never lived anywhere else.”

Alex grimaces. God, he is the biggest asshole in the world.

“Anyway.” Aaron continues. “We go got married, and things were great. Theodosia fit into my life perfectly. I…I don’t know how to describe her to you, but she was perfect. Her and Angelica became close friends, and even Jefferson liked her. She had this way of drawing people to her that I never could imitate.”

“She sounds great.” Alex whispers, and when Aaron smiles at him, Alex tries to smile back, but Aaron just looks so sad.

“She was, she was perfect. And things just kept getting better. We were very happy together, and about four years after we got married, Theodosia got pregnant.”

Alex swallows, wanting to tell Aaron to stop the story, but he’s the one who asked for it, and Aaron seems determined to finish it. So Alex stays silent.

“We were so excited. It was…unexpected, we hadn’t been trying to get pregnant, but still, we both wanted kids, and were happy. You should have seen Angelica, she was ecstatic. Jefferson kept trying to convince me to let him and Madison be the godparents. Theodosia wanted to say yes, but I refused. I did let Jefferson help plan the baby shower though, but the accident happened the day before it was supposed to be…” Aaron trails off, the corner of his mouth twitching again.

“Aaron.” Alex tries to keep his voice steady. “You don’t have to keep going, ok? You don’t…I understand.”

“It was just…we weren’t even supposed to be out.” Aaron looks down at the table as he speaks, ignoring Alexander’s words. “Theodosia had a food craving so I was driving us to the grocery, and then it all just happened so fast. The other driver was drunk, went right through a red light and he hit the passenger side.”

“Shit.” Alex mutters under his breath. He's struck by the urge to reach out and grab one of Aaron's hands, but he refrains, unsure if Aaron would appreciate it. Aaron takes a deep breath and continues. 

“I woke up in the hospital a few hours later with stitches in my head and a fractured wrist. They told me Theodosia had died instantly, like they thought that would be a comfort to me.” Aaron swallows a few times before continuing. “She had been seven months pregnant at the time, so there was no chance of saving the baby either.”

“Aaron….” Alex doesn’t know what to say. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah.” He looks down at his hands and then back at Alex, his eyes misty. “That’s why I don’t drive now. I just…can’t.” His voice cracks slightly on the last word.

“But it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that, I do. But that’s what makes it so…it was all out of my control. I couldn’t have done anything and I…I hate not having control over things. You can be the best driver in the world and that won’t matter if someone else on the road fucks up.”

Alex chews the inside of his cheek as he watches Aaron, who is now lost in thought and staring down at his hands again. Alex had never though that Aaron would have a back story like this. Eliza and Peggy must have known, since Angelica did, so why had no one ever told him this? Probably because it’s none of your business, he tells himself sternly.

Aaron is still lost in thought, but he’s biting his lip and his eyes look watery, causing Alex to panic. He hadn’t meant to make things so awful or to make Aaron upset. He really is the worst, why does he always do this?

“Do you want some tea?” He blurts out, making Aaron jump.

“Tea?” Aaron repeats slowly as he stares Alex, then a small laugh escapes him.

“It’s…Herc always made it for me when I was upset.” Alex mumbles, feeling stupid for not coming up with something better to cheer Aaron up.

“Tea would be nice.” Aaron says softly. “But I don’t think I have any.”

“I do!” Alex jumps up and goes over to one of his bags by the couch, rummaging around in it until he pulls out a Ziploc bag full of tea bags. “Is green tea ok?”

“That’s fine, thank you.”

Alex goes back to the kitchen and opens a few cabinet doors until he finds the mugs, grabbing two of them and putting them in the microwave after filling them with water. When he turns back to Aaron, he can’t help but think how tired he looks; his eyes are closed and his breathing is slow. When he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, Alex hears him sigh heavily.

“Aaron, listen.” Alex shifts on his feet and then sighs himself. “I’m…it was really shitty of me to keep pushing you to tell me, I’m…I’m an idiot and I’m really sorry. I just have this really stupid habit of wanting to push people so I can try to figure them out, and I'm sorry. If you want me to leave then I understand and-“

“I don’t want you to leave, Alexander.” Aaron tilts his head and smiles at him. “In fact, I would prefer if you didn’t. I want you to stay.”

Alex opens and closes his mouth a few times at Aaron’s words. He really hadn’t been expecting that. But then again, Aaron is a better person than he is, so he really shouldn’t be surprised.

“I…ok.” Alex swallows. “I promise that I’ll get better at this. You know…not being an asshole.”

Aaron laughs again and looks over at him almost fondly, and it makes Alex smile. The moment stretches on, the two of them just looking at each other. Aaron opens his mouth to say something, but then the microwave beeps, making them both jump.

Alex turns and grabs the two mugs, placing them on the table. He puts the tea bags in and stands next to the able, cupping his own mug and letting the warmth of it seep through his body.

“Do you want to watch something?” Aaron asks, standing up. When Alex nods, Aaron gives him another small smile. “Ok. You can choose. Just nothing too weird.”

“What do you mean by weird?”

“I don’t know, you just seem like a person who watches weird TV.”

“Well,” Alex starts walking over to the couch, “I’m still not sure what you mean by that, but I’ll let it go. How about Ratatouille? You like food, right?”

“I’ve never heard of it.” Aaron sits down besides him and turns on the TV. “But I know the food dish. What’s it about?”

“A rat that wants to become a chef.”

“You’re joking.” Aaron asks, raising his eyebrows. “That sounds awful, like a kids movie.”

“Aaron, my friend, it is a kids movie, and it is a masterpiece. You’ll love it, I promise.” Alex selects his Netflix account and searches for the movie, while Aaron grumbles something under his breath. “Seriously, Burr, you’re gonna love it. You’re basically the main character, with your love for food and making it for other people."

“Are you comparing me to a rat?”

“Just shut up and watch the movie.”

They watch the movie in silence, and Alex watches Aaron watch the movie for most of it. He loves to see people's reactions to movies they've never seen before. He's not disappointed; Aaron seems to love it, or at least he's smiling through most of it, and Alex thinks he even sees him tear up at one part. Alex smiles to himself and looks away from Aaron so he can watch the ending. 

There's about fifteen minutes left when all of a sudden, Aaron's head is dropping down onto one of his shoulders. Alex twitches slightly at the unexpected contact. When he looks down, he sees that Aaron is asleep, breathing calmly against his shoulder. Alex shifts, doing his best not to wake Aaron, and maneuvers him until he's lying down completely on the couch.

"We didn't finish it yet." Aaron mumbles through a yawn as Alex stands up and grabs a blanket to drape over him.

"We can finish it tomorrow, after our next fight." Alex whispers, grabbing one of his bags and heading over to the armchair on the other side of the room. "I promise."

Aaron laughs under his breath and pulls the blanket tighter around him. Alex smiles to himself and shakes his head as he pulls out his laptop. He works late into the night, doing his best to keep his typing as quite as possible. Whenever he looks up at Aaron, he's sleeping peacefully, and it makes something twist in Alex's chest.

This had certainly been an interesting first night together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe one day I'll write a fic where Theodosia doesn't die.
> 
> But poor Aaron :( and oh Alex, he has no control over himself sometimes, but he doesn't mean to be an asshole.
> 
> Also I just love the idea of Aaron loving Ratatouille 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and please leave any kudos/comments/feedback, and feel free to come on over to tumblr and follow me there @ fanciful-follies


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this whole thing today and I am crazy. But also I wanted to procrastinate on my actual work so wooo new chapter!
> 
> I really like this one a lot, so I hope you do too. 
> 
> Also shout out to @ auronburr on tumblr for the inspiration of the car-sing-along scene

After that first eventful night, living with Alexander is full of surprises, but not all of them are bad, per say.

Aaron can tell that Alexander feels bad after pushing things too far, because over the next few days he’s nice to Aaron, but almost too nice. He only talks when Aaron starts the conversation, and Aaron had even walked in after work one day to see Alexander attempting to clean the kitchen. When, on another night, he tried to cook Aaron dinner and set of the smoke alarm, Aaron had sat him down and told him that he really didn’t need to feel bad or try to make things up to him.

Alexander had looked uncomfortable the whole time, mirroring how Aaron felt on the inside, but it was a conversation that needed to happen. Sure, Aaron wishes that he hadn’t had to tell the story about Theodosia, he hates thinking about it, but that’s not Alexander’s fault. Plus Alexander tip toeing around him all the time only makes Aaron think about it more, which he doesn’t want.

After that conversation, things become relatively easy, and they fall into a strange sort of rhythm.

Aaron is usually the first person to wake up, and will shower and then make breakfast. He’s surprised when he finds out that Alexander is very quiet in the morning, stumbling blindly around the apartment until Aaron finally takes mercy on him and guides him to the kitchen to make him coffee. It’s fascinating to watch Alexander wake up, and it’s part of the reason why Aaron makes sure he’s the first one to get up every morning.

He likes to watch Alex slowly wake up as he drinks his coffee, his eyes focusing slowly as the caffeine starts to take effect. After his first cup, he's awake enough to start talking, and it always makes Aaron smile at how different he speaks in the morning, his words slower and more slurred together until he finishes his second cup. Then he’s in full effect, talking a mile a minute and waving his hands around enthusiastically, and that’s usually when Aaron will excuse himself to go get dressed for the day.

Of course there are some annoying things about sharing an apartment that Aaron had forgotten about over the years of living alone. For one thing, Alexander takes forever in the bathroom. If he ever manages to wake up before Aaron, he spend over an hour in the shower, and it drives Aaron crazy.

He had knocked on the door angrily the second time it happened, but when Alexander opened it wearing nothing but a towel, water still dripping down his chest, Aaron had spun around on his heel, the words he had thought up in his head to say to him getting caught in his throat. He doesn't knock again. 

Then there’s the fact that Alexander leaves his clothes literally everywhere and anywhere. Aaron tripped over his belongings numerous times in the morning, and continuously throughout the remainder of the day. His frustration reached a breaking point on the third day of living together, when he fell face first on the carpet after tripping over one of Alexander’s shoes.

He had grabbed all of Alexander’s clothing in an angry huff and moves them to his room, throwing them into one of his dresser drawers, mumbling under his breath about how messy Alexander is, while the man himself simply sat on the couch and watched Aaron go back and forth with an amused smile.

But, despite all of these things, Aaron is surprised to find himself enjoying living with Alexander, which he confesses hesitantly to Angelica after work one day as she drives him home.

“I just…” Angelica shakes her head and smiles as she drives. “I know I said you guys would be friends, but I’m honestly surprised by how well it’s going.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” Aaron responds with a small chuckle. “I thought he would be a handful to live with, but he’s fine. It’s like…”He searches his mind for an accurate description.

“Having a dog?” Angelica suggests, making them both laugh.

“I don’t know if I’d say that. I’d rather live with Alexander than have a dog; they’re so much work. At least Alexander can feed himself and doesn’t shed.”

“That’s all you look for in a roommate?” Angelica laughs again and raises her eyebrows, glancing over at Aaron briefly. “I should have lived with you right out of college instead of with Eliza and Peggy. Eliza would freak out if I so much as left a sock on the ground. The day I moved out of there was like having freedom for the first time. I dumped a whole laundry basket of socks onto the floor.”

Aaron snorts and shakes his head, knowing that Angelica is only half-joking; she had loved living with her sisters. They have the closest relationship between siblings that Aaron has ever seen. He wishes he had something like that. 

-

The first full weekend of Aaron and Alexander living together rolls around quickly, and Aaron gets home before Alexander that Friday, and is lounging on the couch reading when the door opens and Alexander walks in.

“We need snacks!” He declares as he tosses his jacket onto the floor, making Aaron roll his eyes. “To celebrate our first successful week of living together. It’s a necessity.”

“We already have snacks, Alexander.”

“Uhm, gross snacks. No offense, Burr, but your idea of a snack is butter free popcorn. That is not a snack.”

“Then please inform me what a real snack is.” Aaron sighs, closing his book as he realizes he’s not going to be allowed to finish it. When he glances up at Alexander, he’s smiling widely back at him.

“I’m talking hot pockets. I’m talking soda, and chips with dip, and chocolate. We need celebratory snacks, Burr. And a lot of them.”

“All of those things will lead to your early death.”

“Oh my God.” Alexander scoffs, shaking his head at Aaron in clear disappointment. “You are so weird sometimes, I swear.” When Aaron continues to just sit on the couch and stare at him, Alexander practically whines. “Come on, Burr! Live a little! All I’m asking for is snacks. Please? I’ll drive, obviously, so let’s just go and get some, it’ll take like twenty minutes tops. We can finish watching Ratatouille after, since you were drooling on the couch halfway through it.”

“Fine.” Aaron stands up and grabs his coat, recognizing that he’s fighting a losing battle. He brushes past Alexander, who is smiling even more widely now, and opens the door to step out into the hall. “And I do not drool, by the way.”

“Oh you definitely do.” Alexander says gleefully as he bounds into the hallway after him. “You did fall asleep on my shoulder, so I think I would know. I mean it’s not like a waterfall of drool but you totally drool. Don’t worry, it’s kind of adorable.”

Aaron chooses not to respond and begins to walk down the flights of stairs. He hasn’t tried taking the elevator again ever since the day him and Alexander had gotten stuck in it.

As they walk, Alexander continues to talk, but Aaron tunes him out, a skill he has acquired very quickly thanks to the evenings where Alexander just couldn’t seem to shut up even though Aaron made it clear over and over again that he had a lot of work to do. He talks the whole way down to his car, only stopping briefly in order to climb into the driver’s seat. But even after that, he turns to Aaron, still smiling.

“Anyway, enough about my day.” He puts the key into the ignition, turns on the radio, and starts to back out. “How was yours?”

“It was fine.” Aaron clicks his seatbelt before continuing. “It’s been kind of slow lately, which just means I have to listen to Jefferson talk about his problems more often than I care to.”

“I really don’t understand how you can stand working with him. I would kill him after a week.”

“He’s really not that bad. He’s not!” Aaron laughs as Alexander snorts in disbelief. “I mean, ok yeah he’s kind of a pompous pain in the ass, but he means well.”

“Please give me one example of him meaning well.”

“Ok, I will.” Aaron searches his mind for an example for a few minutes. “Ok. So after the accident, I was in the hospital for a few days, right? When I got back to my apartment, I found that door had been broken down, and that Jefferson did it.”

“I’m confused.” Alexander says slowly. “Jefferson breaking down your door is him meaning well? How the hell does that make sense?”

“Let me finish the story. Yes, he broke down my door, but it was because all of the stuff for the baby shower was stored in my closet, and he didn’t want me to come back and see it, so he broke down my door and took all of it out and back to his place.”

“Hm.” Alexander glances over at Aaron, his brow furrowed. “I guess that’s nice. But he didn’t have to break down the door.”

“Like I said.” Aaron shrugs. “He means well, even if he doesn’t always show it in the right way.” They drive in silence for a while, and Aaron loses himself in his thoughts as he watches things pass by outside the window.

“Ok, ok.” Alexander says loudly after a few more moments, breaking the silence. “But if you had to live with me or Jefferson, who would you choose.”

“You.” Aaron says instantly. “Jefferson would be a nightmare to live with. I’d live with anyone else over him.”

“So what you’re really saying is that you love living with me.”

“I’m not sure if that’s what I’m-“

“Oh come on, Burr.” Alexander shoots him a wink. “Admit it, you like living with me. You love it. It’s the best. Just say it, you’ll feel better.”

“I’m not admitting that.”

“Denial is the first step in the process to admittance.” Alexander sings, taking one of his hands of the wheel to wag a finger in Aaron’s face, which he quickly bats away. “If you won’t admit it then I will. I like living with you, it’s great. Even if you do have horrible taste in snacks.”

“Well, thanks.” Aaron says slowly, looking at Alexander out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t know what else to say, so he looks down at his hands and clears his throat a few times.

“Compliments make you uncomfortable, don’t they?” Alexander teases. “Well too bad. I loooveee living with you!”

“Oh my God.” Aaron mumbles under his breath. His embarrassment only grows as Alexander lets out a shout of joy as a new song comes on the radio. He turns up the volume and practically bounces in his seat.

“You’re insecure!” He points dramatically in Aaron’s direction. “Don’t know what for! You’re turning heads when you walk through the door!”

“Please stop.” Aaron says loudly over Alexander’s singing, knowing that the attempt is futile. Alexander continues, and Aaron groans, sinking lower in his seat, wishing he could disappear, but Alexander just sings louder and louder.

“Baby you light up my world like nobody else! The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.” Alexander flips his own hair at this part and wiggles his shoulders, which makes Aaron bite back a laugh. “But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know oh, oh!” He turns to Aaron with a grin. “You don’t know you’re Burr-tiful!”

Aaron does laugh aloud at that, despite his attempt to keep it back. But really, how can he when Alexander is giving this performance his all. Luckily they make it to the grocery before Alexander can continue the song, and they walk inside, Alexander still snickering quietly to himself.

Somehow the shopping cart Aaron is pushing fills with piles of food he’s positive they don’t need and definitely won’t eat, but Alexander is like a kid in a candy store, throwing anything in that catches his eye.

“What are these?” Aaron asks, picking up the yellow box that Alexander had just thrown into the cart.

“What are-oh my God. You’re kidding.” Alexander is staring at him, his jaw dropped. “You’ve never had Twinkies? What kind of childhood did you have? Hell, what kind of college life did you have? How have you never had Twinkies?”

“Probably because they look disgusting.” Aaron says, throwing them back into the cart. “And I have no desire to try them now.”

“I will not let continue living a life without Twinkies! Well you’re totally going to eat some tonight. Just you wait, you’re going to love th-“

“Alexander?”

They both turn around at the same time at the voice to see a tall figure standing there, a small smile slowly spreading across his face. Aaron feels Alexander tense beside him.

“Samuel?”

“Oh my gosh, it is you! How long has it been? Like, almost ten years, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Alexander is still staring, looking rather dumbfounded. “Somewhere around that. How have you been?”

“I’m great!” The man says, nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah. I’m a teacher at elementary school in the city. It’s really great. What about you? Gosh, you look almost the same as you did in college.”

“Oh.” Alexander gives a small, forced laugh. “Yeah, well.” He clears his throat. “I’ve been good. I work at a law firm, at Washington and Greene.”

“Oh wow! That’s amazing. I should have known, you always were great at arguing.” The man laughs again, and Aaron thinks he’s the only one who notices Alexander roll his eyes in annoyance. He raises his eyebrows at him, but Alexander just gives a small shake of his head before looking back at the man.

“Anyway, this is Aaron Burr. Burr, this is Samuel Seabury. We uh, knew each other in college.”

“Nice to meet you.” Aaron says, extending a hand, which Samuel takes.

“Likewise. And yeah, Alexander and I dated our freshman year of college, but I’m sure he’s told you that already.”

“Uhm.” Aaron looks back over at Alexander, whose mouth is set in a firm line. “Yeah, yeah sure. Anyway, I’m just going to go and grab a few more things we need. Just come find me when you’re done catching up.” He directs that last few words at Alexander, who is looking at Aaron with wide, panicked eyes.

But Aaron turns around with a wave and pushes the cart down another aisle. He overhears Samuel calling out to someone.

“George! George come here, you’ll never guess who I ran into! Alexander, please stay, you have to meet George.”

Aaron smirks to himself when he hears Alexander’s reluctant ‘okay’ in response. Meeting with people from college is never fun, especially an ex, but Aaron isn’t going to make himself stand there and watch the awkward encounter if he doesn’t have to.

He browses up and down a few aisles, grabbing a few healthier snacks as he does. He’s about to put the Twinkies back on a shelf in the hopes that Alexander won’t notice them missing, when Alexander himself comes around the corner, looking furious.

“Why the fuck did you leave me alone with him?” He hisses once he’s next to Aaron.

“Why would I stay?” Aaron counters, shrugging a shoulder. “I didn’t know him, and you both clearly had a lot to catch up on. Who’s George?”

“His stupid boyfriend.” Alexander grumbles, kicking his foot out and looking all around put out, which makes Aaron laugh. “I don’t see what’s so funny.”

“I’ve just never seen you look so jealous before. What, was this guy the love of your life or something in college?”

“No! He just…he was really good at everything ok, and he was really popular at Colombia and when we started dating I was really happy about it and then things got really competitive between us, and I mean, I was happy with the relationship still, but then he broke up with me after four months. In public.”

“Poor thing.”

“Shut up, Burr.” Alexander narrows his eyes at him. “I mean, obviously I’m over it now. But the guy is just still so damn perfect and it’s frustrating. And his stupid boyfriend is just as perfect too, disgustingly perfect. I hate them.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little over dramatic?” Aaron asks as he starts to push the cart over to the refrigerated food section. They’re out of milk. “I mean, it was ten years ago, right? So who cares?”

“I care.” Alexander says stubbornly, trailing after Aaron. “Also, uhm…”

“What?”

“I may have done something stupid.”

Aaron grabs a carton of milk and turns to look at Alexander, who is shifting on his feet, his hands stuffed in his pants pockets.

“What did you do?”

“I…now just hear me out ok, don’t freak. I may or may not have kind of told them that me and you are dating.” Alexander says the words in a rush, but it still makes Aaron whip around so he’s facing Alexander fully.

“You what?” He almost drops the milk carton in his surprise. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“I didn’t mean to, obviously. It was more that Samuel just assumed we were dating and I didn’t correct him.” Alexander bites his lip and smiles guiltily. “It was just an honest mistake.”

“With a simple solution of just correcting him.” Aaron sighs. “Well whatever, it’s not like it matters. You’ll probably never see either of them again anyway.”

“Yeah…well actually…”

“What?” Aaron bites out the word through clenched teeth.

“Well, I, uh.” Alexander looks down at the floor and then back up at Aaron. “I also may or may not have agreed to go on a double date with them. Tomorrow.”

Aaron does drop the milk carton this time. It breaks open, milk spilling over his shoes and seeping into his socks. He stares at Alexander, his mouth opening and closing in disbelief.

“Why?” He finally manages to breathe out. “Why would you do that? What possessed you to do that?”

“I’m really bad in stressful situations, ok?” Alexander takes his hands from his pockets and runs one through his hair. “I’m sorry, but stuff just comes out of my mouth without me noticing. It’s not really that bad, right? It’s just one date.”

“I am not going.” Aaron says immediately, shaking his head furiously. “No. No way.” He steps out of the milk puddle still forming around his feet and starts to push the cart quickly towards the check out line.

“Aaron, hey! Come on, please?” Alexander catches up to him. “Please? Please, please, please? Just one date! One and never again, I promise.”

“No.”

“Aaron. Aaron come oooonnn. I can’t back out now, don’t you know how embarrassing that would be? I can’t, don’t make me. Aaron, pleeeaassseee. I’ll do anything! I’ll clean the apartment, I’ll do your laundry.”

Aaron sighs in frustration but stops the cart and looks over at Alexander, considering the situation.

“You promise it will just be one date?” Aaron asks, already regretting this. When Alexander nods his head earnestly, Aaron sighs. “Ok. One date.”

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“But you are doing my laundry for two weeks and will keep your part of the apartment clean. Deal?”

“Yes!” Alexander jumps closer to him and throws his arms around his neck. He bounds away a moment later and grins up at Aaron. “Don’t worry, I’m a great boyfriend.”

Aaron groans and starts pushing the cart again, Alexander bouncing along next to him, humming under his breath.

He is really going to regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO'S READY FOR SOME FAKE DATING? CAUSE I KNOW I AM? Idk I really loved writing this chapter and it might be my favorite one so far
> 
> Oh man, I'm really pumped. If you have any suggestions/things you want to see next in this fic please come talk to me on tumblr @fanciful-follies
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this it means a lot guys


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just gonna skip right to the date, but then I figured we need some good ol' "we should practice being a couple" scene of the fic. Plus I really want the date to be from Burr's perspective.
> 
> ENJOY x

The drive back to the apartment is quiet.

Whenever Alex glances over to Aaron, he’s staring out of the window, but his fingers are tapping anxiously on his leg. Alex lets out a small huff of air through his nose, but restrains himself from saying anything. He’s already done enough damage today, so he should probably let Aaron have a little peace and quiet.

But really, Alex didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Samuel had just _assumed_ that him and Aaron were dating, and Alex just decided not to correct him. None of it is his fault. Besides, he hadn’t thought that Aaron would actually go along with it. But now here they were, getting ready to pretend to be a couple. The thought makes Alex's heart leap.

They get back to the apartment and lug the grocery bags in, Alex grumbling under his breath when Aaron makes them take the stairs. Aaron remains quiet the whole time they unload the food, only rolling his eyes when Alex pretends to almost drop the carton of eggs he bought.

“Burr, come on.” Alex sighs, flopping down onto the couch as Aaron continues to unload the groceries. “Is it really that bad, going on one date with me? Or are you just out of practice? That’s it, right? You’re nervous.”

“I am not nervous for our fake date, Alexander.”

Alex huffs out a frustrated sigh. Why did he have to bring up the fact that is was a _fake_ date? The one time he finally gets Aaron to go out to dinner with him, it’s for a fake date. And it’s with two people Alex knows he’s going to despise. An awful, horrible, fake date. Why did he decide to do this again?

“Are you even good at dating?” Alex asks after a few moments, and Aaron turns to him with an amused look. “Like, you don’t eat your food all weird do you? Or make stupid jokes? When was your last date?”

“To my knowledge, no, I do not eat my food all weird.” Aaron responds as he puts some things into the fridge. “But it has been awhile since I’ve gone on an actual date. I haven’t dated since Theodosia passed.”

“Really? But that was over three years ago and-“

“I hate when people say that to me,” Aaron slams the fridge door, the contents inside rattling, “like three years is enough time for me to get over it.”

“I…sorry.” Alex clears his throat awkwardly, and watches Aaron as he puts away the last few items away in the cupboards before leaning over the counter and running his hands over his face. “But I mean…have you really been alone this whole time? You’ve never met anyone you've liked?”

“I didn’t…I mean…God. Yes, okay, I haven’t dated anyone exactly, but I’ve met other people and...and I’ve _been_ with people, you know...”

“Oh.” Alex raises his eyebrows as the meaning sinks in, and then he smirks. “Kinky.”

“Casual sex is not kinky, Alexander. Sorry I haven’t dated half of my college campus, but we can’t all be as charming or as annoying and relentless as you.”

“Ha ha ha.” Alex says dryly, rolling his eyes. “I dated three people in college, I wouldn’t call that half of my college campus. But anyway, yeah. This is good. We should get each other’s backgrounds so it actually seems like we’re a couple.”

Aaron grumbles something under his breath but joins Alex on the couch, putting a wide space between them that makes Alex roll his eyes again. He twists slightly so he can pull his feet up onto the couch and crosses them, facing Aaron.

“Ok. So yeah, I dated three people in college, and you’ve met all of them weirdly enough. Samuel was freshman year, then I dated John Laurens for most of sophomore year, and then Eliza.”

“May I ask why none of them were long term?”

“Well, you already know why Samuel wasn’t. Then Eliza, well, we just didn’t match up at the time. I always think that if it had been at a different time or moment in our lives we might have…” Alex shrugs a shoulder and picks at the seam of his pants, “I don’t know. But we’re still friends, so. Then with John it was kind of the same thing. And he hasn't come out out to his family yet, and I didn’t want to put him in a difficult position so we ended it. Also still friends, obviously. Okay, your turn.”

“Right.” Aaron takes a deep breath. “Well, you already know about Theodosia. I really only had one other serious relationship before that, with a guy named Jonathan Bellamy in high school. We started dating the summer before senior year.”

“Why did you end it?”

“It was a mutual thing. Senior year was hard; we both got busy and just wanted to focus. I was 16, you know, and was so overwhelmed with trying to get into college so young. Then I went to Princeton and he went to UCLA, and that was it. He wrote me after Theodosia passed, so we’ve kept in contact. But it’s like you said…the timing was never right.”

Alex chews his lip as he peers over at Aaron. It’s almost weird, the fact that it took them having to pretend to be a couple to actually confide in each other. Alex can’t help but wonder if Aaron would open up to him under any other circumstances. He pushes the thought away and continues.

“Ok, so past relationships are covered. On to the next topic?” Once Aaron nods in agreement, Alex picks a spot on the couch to stare at, and the words start to fall from his mouth without him really even taking in what he's saying. “I was born in the Caribbean, on an island called Nevis. My dad left me and my mom when I was around ten, with basically nothing. My mom started working as a maid for one of the resorts on the island, and I would pick up jobs here and there to make extra money. Almost three years later we came to America, to New York. Then not even two months after arriving we both got sick. I recovered, my mom didn’t.”

The words hang between them, and Aaron looks like he’s going to say something, but Alex waves a hand; he’s started the story, and is going to finish it. It’s just easier to keep going without interruptions.

“I got put into the foster care system, went to high school and worked my ass off, then got into Colombia. I met Herc, John and Lafayette there and they’ve basically been my family ever since.”

I…” Aaron clears his throat. “I had no idea that you…why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”

Alex laughs and shakes his head. There are so many reasons, but he picks the one that makes the most sense.

“I just…I don’t like talking about it, and I always feel like people judge me when I tell them that story. They always look at me differently, after they know, and I don’t like it. I don't tell them for pity or for sympathy.”

“I understand.” Aaron’s voice is quiet, and it’s only once he hears it that Alex realizes his own voice had been growing louder and louder. 

They sit in silence for a little, which allows Alex to get his temper back under control. He hates how emotional he still gets about his past. He doesn't want what happened to bother him so much, but then again, how can it not? His father was a piece of shit, and his mother dying, well, he doesn't think he'll ever get over that. He misses her so much.

“I’ve always lived in New York." Aaron starts after a few more moments, pulling Alex out of this thoughts. "After both of my parents passed, I was sent to my grandparents’ home, but that was very brief. They both passed within months, and that’s when I was sent to live with my Uncle. He was very…strict…as a guardian. We didn’t get along for the most part, but it was a home.”

“Do you remember anything, about your parents or grandparents?” Before this, Alex would have been worried that was too personal of a question, but they seem past that point now.

“Not really.” Aaron looks over Alex’s shoulder and screws up his eyes in concentration. “Whenever I think that I’m remembering something, I just wonder if it’s a real memory or one I just made up in my own mind. I really just know the basic facts; my grandfather was a preacher, my mother was a doctor, and my father was president of Princeton for a time.”

Silence falls around them again, and for once Alex let’s it last longer than a few moments. Both him and Aaron are lost in their own thoughts, their own memories and past. Alex can’t help but wonder which is worse; losing your parents and being able to remember them, or losing them and having no memories of them at all.

“What’s your favorite color?”

Aaron’s question jolts Alex out of his thoughts, and he turns to him with a confused frown.

“My what?”

“Your favorite color.” Aaron repeats, a small smile on his face. “We know each other’s pasts now, but it’s not like Samuel and George will be quizzing us on that. We need to know the small details, right? So, favorite color, what is it?”

“Brown.” Alex blurts out the first color that comes to mind, and he tries to convince himself that he doesn’t say that specific color because he is currently looking into Aaron’s eyes, which happen to be a very nice shade of brown. “What’s yours?”

“Blue. Favorite food?”

“Hot pockets.” Alex laughs when Aaron lets out a disgusted scoff at his answer. “Let me guess, yours is something really fancy, healthy and pretentious?”

“Shut up, and no, it’s not. I like pasta, any kind of it. It’s the first thing I learned to make on my own and I was really excited about it. I made my Uncle eat if for a whole week one time.”

Alex wants to make fun of the answer, but it’s actually kind of adorable, so he just smiles at Aaron and shakes his head.

“Alright, so we’ve got our backstories and some small details. We already live together, so we know each other’s annoying habits. Let’s move on to how we met.”

“Why don’t we just use the actual story with a few twists?” Aaron asks. “You moved in next to me, annoyed the hell out of me and kept asking me out until I finally said yes.”

“Sure.” Alex responds, his stomach twisting strangely. He pushes down the thought that enters his head, the wish that Aaron had actually said yes to him asking him out all those times. “I’m….do you want anything to eat?” Alex stands up from the couch suddenly and brushes his hands on his pants.

“I…yeah, ok.” Aaron looks up at him strangely, but Alex turns away and heads to the kitchen, trying to get himself back under control. He knows Aaron isn’t trying to make him upset, but that’s the bad thing; Aaron has no idea how he makes him feel. He has no idea that Alex actually likes him.

Alex knows he does this all the time, falls for someone he barely knows, but this time feels different. He doesn’t want to just hook up with Aaron or dive right into a relationship; he doesn’t want to mess anything up. Aaron is nice, nicer than he even knows he is, nicer than anyone Alex has ever met, and he doesn’t want to lose that. Alex likes having someone like that in his life.

He grabs a bag of chips and the Twinkies from the cupboard, smiling to himself when he sees how Aaron tried to hide the Twinkies in the very back. He tucks the snacks under his arm and opens the fridge, grabbing two beers before going back over to where Aaron is sitting.

“Trying to get me drunk?” Aaron asks with a nod at the beers, smiling as Alex flops back onto the couch.

“Figured you’d need something to wash the Twinkies down with.”

“I am not eating one of those.”

“Oh, but you are.” Alex smiles and opens the box, tossing one of the Twinkies at him. “Come on, Burr, live a little. Go crazy. I can’t fake date a man who has never had a Twinkie.”

“Well, when you put it that way.” Aaron frowns as he unwraps the Twinkie. He looks so serious that Alex can’t help but let out a small laugh. Aaron looks up at him, shakes his head in amusement, and then takes a bite.

“So?” Alex takes a sip of his beer and raises his eyebrows. “Pretty good, huh? You love it, right?”

“This is probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten.” Aaron’s face is scrunched up in disgust, and Alex really can’t help but laugh loudly at that. “What? Why are you laughing?”

“Because,” Alex wipes a tear from his eye, “I can’t believe you actually fell for that. Twinkie’s are literally the nastiest things ever, even I hate them. Oh man, you should have seen your face.”

“I hate you.” Aaron says flatly, dropping the rest of the Twinkie onto the table before taking a sip of his own drink. “I hate you so much.”

“You love me.” Alex teases, feeling his heart rate pick up as he says the words. Aaron just rolls his eyes, but then he smiles over at Alex and laughs. 

“I think I should be the one concerned about how you’re going to act on the date, not the other way around.”

“I’m a great date.” Alex scoffs, winking one eye at Aaron. “Really. You’ll never find a better date than me. No one can fill an awkward silence like I can. Plus I make great jokes. You, on the other hand, we could work on your sense of humor.”

“I have a great sense of humor.” Aaron responds, leaning back into the couch. “I’ll have you know that people have told me I’m incredibly charming. Sure, you might be able to tell a good joke, but you have no finesse.”

“And you do?”

“Of course.” Aaron shrugs and spreads his legs slightly on the couch, a movement that Alex tracks with his eyes. “I’m great at smoothing out awkward situations. Just you wait, I’m sure the dinner will be full of them, then you can watch me work my magic.”

Alex snorts but doesn’t respond, just continues to watch Aaron relax further into the couch. It's weird, how comfortable they feel with each other under such an awkward situation. Aaron is taking it so much better than Alex thought he would. This whole thing might actually turn out to be fun; maybe Aaron will even realize that he wants to date him for real.

Alex watches, entranced, as Aaron takes another sip of his beer, watches as he swallows the drink and the way he licks his lips after. Fuck. Alex forces his eyes away and tries to take a steady breath. 

“So we should practice touching each other.” Alex blurts out, failing miserably in his attempt to turn his thoughts in another direction.

Aaron chokes on his drink, spluttering for a few moments before turning back to look at him, his eyes wide.

“Excuse me?”

“Well, I mean.” Alex laughs nervously and tugs on a strand of his hair. “If we’re gonna act like a couple that’s been dating for a few months, we should probably be comfortable with that, right?”

“Alexander.” Aaron’s eyebrows are raised as he continues to look at him in shock. “I don’t think that Samuel and George are going to be expecting us to make out while we’re at dinner.”

“I know that!” Alex swallows, his mouth is suddenly very dry. “But I mean, like…hand holding and stuff. Small touches.”

“I know how to hold someone’s hand, I don’t think I need to practice that.”

“I don’t know, Burr.” Alex tries to say teasingly, even though his heart is beating fast. “You’re the one who hasn’t been on a date in years. You might go to hold my hand and miss or something.” He swallows again and looks up at Aaron. “We should practice.”

Aaron rolls his eyes but places his beer down onto the table before turning to Alex. He gives another exasperated sigh before leaning in slightly, a hand reaching out towards him. Alex holds his breath as Aaron’s fingers brush against his cheek briefly before moving to the strand of hair that has fallen from his ponytail. Aaron makes eye contact with him for a moment, but then his eyes flick down. He tucks the strand of hair behind Alex's ear, causing goosebumps to rise up on his neck.

“There.” Aaron leans back and looks away. “Are you satisfied now?”

“My turn.” Alex breathes out, tucking his legs underneath him so he can lean in closer to Aaron, who is back to looking at him with dark eyes. Those eyes continue to watch him as he brings a hand up to rest gently on Aaron’s cheek. Alex can see his hand shaking, and hopes that Aaron can’t feel it. He trails his hand down to Aaron’s jaw, marveling at how warm and soft the skin under his fingers is. He brings his second hand up and lets it trail over the other side of Aaron’s jaw. He leans forward even more, but when his fingers brush over his lips, Aaron brings up a hand to grab at Alex’s wrist.

Alex makes eye contact with him, swears his eyes are a little darker than they were before, and that makes him take in a shaky breath. He keeps still as Aaron slowly moves their hands away from his face, bringing them down to their sides. Then, he interlaces their fingers and flicks his eyes back up to Alex’s.

“There.” He murmurs. “Told you I could hold a hand.”

Alex disentangles his hand from Aaron’s in a hurry and scoots back on the couch, attempting a small laugh. His hands are shaking even harder now, so he clasps them in his lap. He curses himself silently as another silence falls between them. Why did he have to go and make things awkward? He had been about to _kiss_ Aaron, for God's sake. 

"Well." Aaron clears his throat and stands up. "I think I'm going to go to bed, since tomorrow is bound to be an exciting and draining day. I'll see you in the morning."

"Don't I get to come with you?" Alex asks in an attempt to lighten the mood again. Aaron turns back to him with a confused look. "I mean, shouldn't we share a bed since we're dating?" Alex smirks as Aaron barely keeps himself from rolling his eyes.

"Again, we're fake dating, Alexander. The couch is all yours."

Alex laughs as he stands up, stretching his back. He grabs the chips and Twinkie box and then heads into the kitchen to put them away.

“You won’t let me sleep in your bed, won’t even give me a goodnight kiss. What kind of pretend boyfriend are you?” Alex jokes as he closes the cupboard. “You claim to be charming and seductive and all that, but I have yet to see it. Just admit you're lying.” Alex turns around and breathes in sharply. He hadn’t heard Aaron walking towards him, but there he is, inches from his face. Alex instinctively takes a step back, the counter behind him digging into skin

Alex opens his mouth to speak again, but then Aaron’s hand is on his waist, the other going to his face, cupping his cheek gently. Aaron is staring at him in a way that makes Alex's breath catch, and his mind whirls as Aaron's hand moves to the back of his neck. He thinks his heart stops when Aaron leans forward, his mouth hovering over his own. Then, he tilts his head slightly and presses his lips softly to the corner of Alex’s mouth.

Alex closes his eyes and wills his breathing to stay steady. He tries turning his own head into the kiss, unable to resist, but his lips barely brush against Aaron’s before the other man is pulling away. They stare at each other in silence, Alex breathing heavily as Aaron slowly removes his hands. Alex tries to say something, but the words are stuck in his throat, his mind blank.

"Well." Aaron smiles as he steps further back. "Goodnight."

And then he's walking away, leaving Alex breathless against the counter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter, it was fun to write.
> 
> Come to talk to me @fanciful-follies on tumblr! I love talking to all of you. Also lemme know if you have any suggestions for what should happen on the date ;)
> 
> ALSO this is my last week of classes, and then finals week is next week, so I'll try to get another chapter out next week but the odds of that are pretty low.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW ok I apologize for this update taking over two weeks, but life interrupted me and I had a lot going on. however, here is a new update! Hope you enjoy it

When he wakes up the next morning, Aaron finds himself feeling strangely nervous about the upcoming fake date. He's not even sure why, it's not like it's an actual date. Everything had just started feeling so weird after last night. 

Aaron had just meant the kiss to be a joke, a way to shut Alexander up for a few moments. It was supposed to be a quick kiss to his cheek, something that they would laugh about after. But then Alexander had stared up at him with wide eyes, and then Aaron had suffered some sort of aneurism and had almost kissed him full on the mouth. And Aaron isn’t entirely sure, but he thinks Alexander had tried to turn into the kiss, to…to what? To continue it? Or maybe it had just been an uncontrollable twitch? Either way, it had caught Aaron off guard, and now it's causing him to overthink everything.

He hops into the shower and dresses quickly, feeling the need to be active most of the day so he’s not sitting around waiting for the evening to arrive. He tiptoes out of the bathroom, figuring that Alexander is still asleep. Sure enough, he’s lying passed out on the couch, his mouth hanging open slightly as he breathes in and out slowly. Aaron finds himself smiling as he watches Alexander, and when he realizes that, the smile quickly turns into a frown.

Why does he feel so _nervous_ about this date?

He grabs his phone and steps outside into the hall, taking a calming breath through his nose. He paces up and down the hall for a few minutes, trying to understand why his stomach is twisting uncomfortably. Aaron stares down at his phone, trying to think of any other option than the one that had just popped into his head. When none come to mind, he sighs and clicks on one of the contacts and raises his phone to his ear. It rings a few times before the sound of an angry sigh echoes from the other end.

“Burr, you better have a damn good reason for calling me on my day off.”

“Sorry, Thomas.” Aaron responds, not feeling sorry at all. “I uh, well, I need some advice.” He hears shuffling on the other side, and then another loud sigh.

“This better be a life threatening situation. I never get up before nine on my days off. I need a solid eight hours of sleep or else my whole schedule gets thrown off and then I’m a mess and-“

“I can just hang up if you want.” Aaron says, knowing that Thomas isn’t really as annoyed as he seems. He just likes to complain.

“No!” Thomas’s voice is suddenly very loud other end of the line, and Aaron can’t help but roll his eyes. Thomas can be so over dramatic sometimes. “No. I’m already awake. So talk.”

“Ok….ok. Basically, Alexander and I were at the grocery and we ran into one of his exes, Samuel Seabury and-“ Aaron stops momentarily when Thomas snorts.

“God, I forgot they dated. That was funny.”

“Yeah, anyway.” Aaron takes a deep breath. “I left to get food and him and Alexander kept talking, then Alexander comes back over and tells me that he told Seabury that me and him are dating. And now I have to go on a double date with Seabury and his boyfriend.”

There’s a long beat of silence on the other end, and Aaron wonders if the call got dropped. He pulls the phone away and glances down at it; nope, the call is still going. He brings the phone back up to his ear, but still hears nothing.

“Thomas? Are you still there?” There’s more shuffling noises from Thomas’s end, then the sound of an angry voice which slowly turns into an incredulous one. Aaron thinks he can hear laughing as well. The faint mumble of voices continues for a few more minutes.

“Aaron, can you repeat all of that again?” Thomas asks suddenly, his voice making Aaron jump. “You’re on speaker now. James didn’t believe me when I told him what you just said so you need to say it again. Go ahead, we’re both here.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. He should have known this was a bad idea. “I said that I got roped into going on a fake double date with Alexander. With Samuel Seabury and his boyfriend.”

Thomas breaks into loud laughter at his words, and Aaron thinks he can hear the low rumble of James laughing as well.

“Oh man, it’s even funnier the second time. I told you that’s what he said, James.”

“You can’t blame me for not believing you.” James’s voice is hoarse, a sure sign that Thomas had woken him up just now to tell him the news. “Aaron, what possessed you to say yes?”

“I tried to get out of it! But you guys know Alexander, he just won’t take no for an answer.”

“Sounds like him.” Thomas snorts. “Seriously though, this is the best news I’ve gotten in months, so thanks for sharing it. Please take pictures while you’re there, as many as you can. This is great, this is-“

“Thomas, didn’t Aaron call for a reason other than to listen to you ramble?”

“Oh right. What can I do for you, Burr?”

Aaron opens his mouth but then closes, suddenly feeling very unsure about all of this. He shouldn’t have called, especially not Jefferson, what the hell was he thinking? That’s the problem, he wasn’t thinking, he never should have agreed to this. It’s so stupid. He’s so stupid.

“Aaron?” James’ voice sounds concerned, and it makes Aaron come back from his thoughts. “Are you still there?”

“I…” Aaron swallows slowly and then closes his eyes before continuing. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date and I have to pretend to that I’ve been dating Alexander for awhile so, uhm, well…”

“Are you asking me for dating advice?” Thomas asks, and Aaron can practically hear the smirk that he must be wearing on his face. “Aw, that’s adorable. I have been in a committed relationship for around seven years so you are asking the perfect person and-“

“Oh please.” James interrupts him with a laugh. “If Aaron’s asking anyone for dating advice, it should be me. You are the worst at dates. Remember our first one? You took us to Applebees for gods sake and wore that ridiculous purple shirt and-“

“Excuse me, that was a great first date. Remember when you made us go to that awful opera but then your allergies kicked in and you sneezed and sneezed until we got kicked out and-“

“Really guys.” Aaron breaks in quickly. “Just forget it. I’m gonna-“

“No, Aaron, wait.” James’s voice grows louder on the line. “Hey man, seriously, just try not to over think things. It’s just a fake date, right? It doesn’t have to be perfect, hell, it doesn’t even have to be good.”

“Right.” Aaron nods to himself, letting the words sink in. It really doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting the way he is. He just…he hasn't been on a date since Theodosia, had barely dated before her, and the idea of going on a date with someone is just freaking him out. There’s silence on the other end as Thomas and James wait for him to say more. Then there's the sound of shuffling and a quiet beep, signaling that he’s being taken off of speaker.

“Burr, listen to me.” Thomas’s voice is loud in his ear. “Based on what people have told me, Alexander is the one who should be freaking out about this fake date. He sucks at dating, ok? You’re gonna be a knight in shining armor compared to him. You are an attractive person, and even if you don’t believe it, you are damn smooth when you want to be. You’re gonna leave that date and everyone at it is gonna be drooling over you. Alexander will want to date you for real afterwards.”

Aaron huffs out a laugh at that, hoping Thomas doesn’t hear the nervousness behind it. He’d take that statement as a complete joke if it hadn’t been for last night. Last night confused _everything_. He doesn't want this to be a real date, he's not ready for that yet. 

“Yeah…yeah. Thanks, Thomas.”

“Sure. And if things start to go bad, just talk. You can talk about nothing like nobody’s business and still make it sound interesting. Just turn the charm up to one hundred percent and hold Alexander’s hand on the table. It’ll be totally believable. Alexander is lucky to have a fake date like you. I’d fake date you if I could, I’d even-“

Thomas’s voice is cut off and Aaron hears what sounds like an ‘ow’ before James is suddenly talking to him again.

“What Thomas is trying to say is that you are a good person, Aaron. So it’s going to be fine. Also Seabury is such a suck up, he won’t think or say anything bad about you. And despite you and Alexander being polar opposites, Alexander likes you so-“

“God yeah, you are so not his type.” Thomas chimes in. “And that’s a compliment.”

“- so he won’t get mad if things go bad.” James finishes.

 "Ok. Yeah, you're right. Thanks guys. I'll talk to you later."

"You have to call us and tell us how it goes!" Thomas says, apparently taking the phone back from James. "Seriously, leave no details out."

"Sure thing, Thomas. I'll see you at work Monday." Aaron hangs up the phone and lets out a heavy breath. He's fine, this whole thing is going to be fine. He goes back to his door and walks in, jumping slightly when he sees that Alexander is awake and drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey." He mumbles, clearly not awake yet. "Sorry for just making my own coffee, but I didn't know where you were and I can't function without it so I just made some."

"Oh, that's fine, totally fine. You live here so I mean, what's mine is yours, or whatever." Aaron responds, wincing internally at how stupid his words sound. He walks over to the kitchen and pours his own cup of coffee, trying to ignore the way that Alexander keeps glancing over at him. 

"So uh," Alexander clears his throat and shifts on his feet, "you're still good with tonight, right? Samuel texted me the restaurant and the time, they were hoping to meet there at six. We can still back out if you want, I'll tell him you got sick or that I broke my leg or something and-"

"I'm fine with tonight, Alexander. Especially since it's going to get me two weeks of you doing my laundry." Aaron takes a sip of his coffee and smiles reassuringly. "Unless _you_ want to back out?"

"What? Oh, no, no. I'm fine with tonight. Totally fine. Can't wait for it, actually. Should be great, best night of life."

Aaron raises his eyebrows but says nothing in response. They finish their coffee in silence and then continue to stand around the counter, each lost in their own thoughts. After a few more moments, Alexander sighs dramatically and sets his cup down.

"Well." He takes a deep breath and looks at Aaron. "This will definitely be an adventure."

-

The rest of the day goes by surprisingly fast. Alexander takes his usual hour long shower and Aaron sits down to watch an episode of a documentary. Then, when Alexander comes back out, he demands that Aaron rewatch the episode because apparently it's 'unfair for Aaron to watch it without him since it's their _thing_ to watch them together' so Aaron is forced to watch it all over again. 

They laze about the rest of the day, plotting out possible outrageous events that could happen at dinner. Aaron poses that they could end up being stood up, and Alexander is dead set on believing that Samuel's date is going to try to one up him in some way, which Aaron tries to argue against to no avail. Once Alexander starts saying that the night could end in a possible assassination, Aaron gets up with a laugh to go and get dressed.

"Is it a fancy place?" Aaron calls out from his bedroom as he looks through his clothes. "Like are we talking a place where I need to wear a tie?" 

"Fuck if I know." Alexander responds from the bathroom. "I mean we probably shouldn't show up in sweatpants or anything."

Aaron mumbles a 'no shit' under his breath and goes with a dark button up and navy blazer. He grabs his wallet from the dresses and puts it into his pocket before heading out into the hallway and into the living room to grab his phone.

"You almost ready? It's a quarter till so we should probably go soon."

"Should I wear my hair up or down?" Alexander calls out, ignoring Aaron's question.

"I like it up." Aaron says without thinking as he looks around for his phone. He spots it on the counter and picks it up, ignoring the text from Angelica that's asking what his plans are for the night. She is the last person he would tell about this situation he's gotten himself into. He should probably tell Thomas and James not to tell her. He's about to type out a quick text when Alexander emerges from the bathroom, dressed in a dark sweater with his hair pulled up into a ponytail.

"Shit." He says when he sees Aaron. "You look good. I should change into something better."

"Nope, no time for that. Grab your keys and let's go."

They manage to get out to the car after a few more minutes of Aaron trying to convince Alexander that he looks fine and practically dragging him outside. Once their in the car and on their way, Alexander can't seem to stop shaking one of his legs and tapping his hands anxiously on the steering wheel. 

“Alexander.” Aaron tries to make his voice sound as calming as possible. “Seriously, it’s going to be fine. Why are you freaking out so much?”

“I don’t know.” Alexander mumbles, moving one of his to his lap so he can run it up and down his thigh. “I just have a bad feeling about this. When I dates Samuel I just always felt pushed to the side when we were other people. He was so popular and more impressive than me. I just…I have a hard time seeing people doing better than me.”

“And how exactly is Seabury doing better than you? You’ve got a good job, a home, friends who care about you.”

“I know that. I just…I don’t know. Samuel just seemed so damn happy, and I…”

“What?” Aaron raises his eyebrows. “You’re not happy?

“I don’t know. I…” Alex shakes his head, his mouth set in a firm line. “Can we just not talk about this right now? We can have a good ol’ heart to heart any other day, just not right now.”

Aaron stares at Alexander a moment longer before nodding and turning his attention back to the passing scenery outside the window. They get to the restaurant in the next few minutes, and Alexander swears under his breath as he pulls into a parking space. The restaurant is huge, and it looks, well…

“I don’t think I’m dressed well enough for this.” Alexander breathes out, his head thrown back as he glances up at the building. “Damn him, damn Samuel Seabury. I knew he would make reservations for some fancy ass place like this just so I would feel uncomfortable. Fuck!”

“Alexander, calm down.” Aaron steps around the car to stand next to him. “It’s going to be fine, okay? Look, we’re already late, so let’s just go in. It’s gonna be fine.” He hesitates a moment before reaching for Alexander’s hand, entwining their fingers.

Alexander looks down at their hands, a strange look on his face, but then he’s looking up at Aaron and attempts to smile.

“You sure you don’t want to back out? You still can. Seriously, I won’t blame you if you do. Samuel’s boyfriend is supposedly real hot stuff and I’m sure this is gonna be really awkward and I’m gonna say something stupid and look stupid and-“

“Alexander.” Aaron squeezes his hand. “If I wanted to back out, I would have by now. It’s gonna be fine. Besides,” Aaron looks down at him and deadpans. “How can I back out when my fake boyfriend is so _Hamsome.”_

Alexander stares at him for a second and then bursts out in laughter, doubling over slightly and looking up at Aaron with surprise. He catches his breath and shakes his head, his eyes watering slightly.

“I can’t believe you just said that to me. You do have a sense of humor. God, how long have you been waiting to say that?"

"Pretty much ever since you called me Burrtiful." Aaron admits with a laugh of his own. He starts to walk towards the restaurant, pulling Alexander with  him. "What can I say, your choice of words inspired me." They walk into the restaurant, and damn, it is a fancy place. The lighting is dim and everyone there seems to be dressed to the nines. A worker approaches them, a serious look on their face.

“May I help you?” He asks, his eyebrows raised. He’s probably wondering if him and Alexander are lost.

“Yes, thank you. We have a reservation for six o’clock , I believe the other two people we are meeting are already here. The reservation is under Seabury.”

“Ah yes, Mr. King informed me that they would be joined by two other. Follow me.” He leads them through the restaurant until they reach a door, which the worker opens, ushering them inside a private room.

“Alex! You made it!” Seabury stands up from the lone table in the room. “Alex, this is George. George, this is Alex.” The other figure stands, extending his hand, which Alexander takes hesitantly before letting go quickly.

George King cuts an impressive figure; he’s tall, well built, has a white toothed smile and perfectly styled hair. He looks like he belongs in this restaurant.

“Nice to meet you.” His voice is higher pitched than Aaron expected, with an English accent coming forth. “And you are?” He moves his eyes to Aaron, and he looks him up and down, making Aaron a little uncomfortable.

“Aaron Burr, Alexander’s boyfriend.” Aaron shakes George’s hand and smiles, trying not to roll his eyes when he sees Alexander smirk slightly at his words. They all sit down, Aaron taking the spot next to George as Alexander sits across from him. A waiter enters the room, dropping off glasses of water and taking their orders. Once the waiter leaves, George immediately rests an elbow on the table and rests his chin his hand.

“So, Alec, what do you do? Samuel never mentioned. In fact, he’s never mentioned you, not until you ran into each other at the grocery. ”

“It’s Alex, actually.” Alexander says with a tight smile. “And I’m a paralegal at Washington and Greene’s firm.”

“And he’s one of the best.” Aaron adds, smiling over at Alexander. “Alexander is very well known for his passionate work and speeches. They’re lucky to have him.”

“I’m sure.” George smiles, but Aaron notes how it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “And what about you, Aaron? What do you do?”

“I’m a paralegal as well, at a different firm though. Alexander’s and mine are sort of rivals, actually. Luckily that hasn’t added any drama to the relationship. What do you do, George?”

“Oh, I’m involved in politics.” George says it casually and with a wave of his hand, but Aaron can see the look on face that shows that he's very proud of what he does. Pride might not be the right word, arrogant is a better description for the look on his face.

“He’s very well known over in England.” Samuel says, looking at George fondly. “He’s quite popular, we’ll probably move there if things keep going as well as they are.”

“That’s exciting.” Aaron says with a small smile as Alexander mumbles something indistinct under his breath and takes a drink of his water. An awkward silence falls over them for a few moments. Aaron looks over at Alexander, hoping he'll say something, but he's slouching lower and lower into his seat, clearly uncomfortable. Aaron takes a deep breath. “So, how did you two meet?”

“Oh, it’s a great story!” Samuel says immediately, grinning widely. “Really. George, do you want to tell it?”

“Oh, no, no! You tell it!”

“But you’re such a great story teller, really, you tell it.”

“Darling, please. _You_ tell it. I love hearing you tell it.”

“Well, alright.” Samuel laughs and Aaron has to keep himself from rolling his eyes at the exchange. “So I was in London with my family, right? Just for a little vacation. We were at a restaurant, some little Italian place I think and-“

“No, no, no!” George interrupts. “It wasn’t Italian, it was French. I remember because I was there with my father meeting some French politicians. Here, I’ll tell the story. So I was just sitting there eating dinner when this gorgeous man walks in, and I swear my jaw dropped.”

“Oh, you are such a liar.” Samuel laughs, reaching across the table to take George’s hand. “You didn’t even notice me until I had been staring at you from across the room for ten minutes, pretty much drooling on the table.”

“Please, how could I not notice you? You were wearing that navy suit with the striped tie. You were perfect. Anyway, I finished the meal with my father and then stayed so I could send drinks over to Samuel. Then we got introduced and the rest is history.”

“That’s a wonderful story!” Aaron says after a beat of silence when it seemed like Alexander wasn’t going to say anything. George and Samuel continue to smile at each other, and only let go of each other’s hands as a waiter comes back in to deliver their food. There’s no talking for a while as the plates are set down and everyone takes a few bites of their food.

“Enough about George and I,” Samuel starts after a few more minutes, “what about you two? How did you an Alexander meet?”

“Oh.” Aaron swallows the food in his mouth and clears his throat. “Well it’s not as good of a story as-“

“It’s a great story!” Alexander says loudly. “Should I tell it, darling?”

“Uh," Aaron almost laughs out loud at the term of endearment, "if you want to then-“

“Or do you want to? You tell stories better.” Alexander says the words slowly, giving Aaron a significant look as he widens his eyes a little. Aaron rolls his eyes, realizing what Alexander is doing. This is going to be a long night, and he’s not sure if he’s going to get through it without exploding.

“No, no. You should tell it, I like to hear you tell it.”

“Ok!” Alexander smiles and then shifts slightly in his chair. “Really, it’s a great story. I was moving into Aaron’s apartment complex, right? My room was the one directly next to his, kind of like fate I guess. Anyway, I was trying to unlock my door while balancing this box on my knee, and then Aaron is suddenly there and offers to help me. My knight in shining armor.”

“That’s so sweet!” Samuel sighs, and Alexander’s smile widens. “Did you start dating right after that?”

“Oh god no.” Aaron responds before Alexander can jump back in. “I made Alexander work for it. In fact, it took us being trapped in an elevator for me to agree to a dinner date. Granted, half the reason was because he pulled this pathetic looking salad out of his backpack, and I couldn’t stand to let him keep eating that sort of food. So I asked him out and that’s pretty much the story. Now we live together and things are great! It was kind of like fate, I guess.”

Aaron swirls his fork in his pasta and takes a bite. When he looks back up at Alexander, he’s staring over at him with a strange look on his face, but he quickly turns it into a smile and takes a bite of his own food.

“Oh, George, you have to try this, it’s delicious!” Samuel gets a spoonful of his soup and leans across the table to put the spoon up to George’s mouth. George opens his mouth and hums appreciatively as he swallows the soup.

“That _is_ delicious. Here, darling, try some of mine.”

When Aaron glances over at Alexander to see if he’s just as weirded out by the exchange happening before them, he’s surprised to find Alexander staring back at him determinedly. He nods in the direction of Aaron’s pasta and then raises his eyebrows expectantly. Aaron sighs quietly and then picks up his fork.

“Alexander, try the pasta, it’s extraordinary.” He moves his hand towards Alexander’s mouth, and they’re clumsier than Samuel and George were, but Aaron manages to get the pasta into Alexander’s mouth without much trouble.

“Mm.” Alexander hums, nodding enthusiastically. “Good. Not as good as yours of course.”

“Oh, you cook, Aaron?” George asks with a smile in his direction. “That’s great! I’ve always wanted to learn, but who has the time, you know? Maybe the next time we all do this could be at your house, I’d love to sample some of your cooking.”

“Oh, well, I mean-“

“Aaron is very shy about his cooking.” Alexander breaks in, staring hard at George before looking back at Aaron. “I’m lucky to be one of the few to sample his cooking. Comes with the territory of being his boyfriend, I suppose.”

“Well then, yes, you are very lucky indeed.” George winks at Aaron before going back to his food. Aaron takes a sip from his water so he doesn't have to respond and looks at Alexander again, who is still staring at George, an angry look in his eyes. This whole thing is definitely as weird as Aaron thought it was going to be, if not more. 

"So, Aaron." George turns towards him again. "Tell me more about yourself. What is the paralegal business like, I'm very interested in it."

"Oh, well maybe Alexander could tell you about it." Aaron says, remembering how Alexander had been worried about being pushed to the side. "He's very passionate about it and is much better with words than I am. He'll be able to explain it better than I will."

"I'm sure Alec could but I'd love to hear you-"

"Alex." Alexander spits out, making George stop mid-sentence. "My name is Alex."

"Oh." George raises his eyebrows. "Well, have you ever considered changing it to Alec? It's much better and so much more-"

"You know." Aaron interrupts George and forces himself to laugh. "This is reminding me of the time that I first got introduced to Alexander's friends and they kept mishearing my name. Do you remember that, Alexander?"

Alexander makes a small noise at the back of his throat that could be taken as a yes, even though Aaron is lying through his teeth. But something had to be done since the conversation was veering in a dangerous direction. Aaron smiles at Alexander and reaches his hand across the table to take Alexander's in his own.

"Anyway, it's a great story, if you would all like to hear it?"

The rest of the meal goes well enough, there’s only one small moment of near disaster during dessert when George starts suggesting that Aaron should visit him in England, without Alexander, that makes Alexander grip his fork in frustration and open his mouth to respond. Luckily, Aaron is able to bring a piece of his cake up to Alexander’s mouth, momentarily silencing him and making sure the meal doesn’t end with an upturned table.

“Well,” George says with a content sigh as the waiter stops by with the checks. “This really was a nice time. Aaron, it was so nice to meet you, I hope we can do this again.”

“Me too.” Aaron lies easily, hoping that he never has to see George again. “It was great, thank you for inviting us.”

“Oh, of course, it was my pleasure, really. Next time you and Alexander can choose the restaurant, I apologize if this one is a little more expensive than you’re used to, but this is my favorite place to go.”

“Oh.” Aaron clears his throat as he takes out his wallet. “It’s no big deal. It was delicious, so I can see why it’s your favorite. The price is no problem at all.”

“Are you sure? I can cover the check if-“

“We have money.” Alexander snaps from his seat, his arms crossed. “So thanks but no thanks.”

“Alexander.” Aaron says his name softly but he only scowls back at him. “Really, George, it’s no problem, but thank you.” The waiter comes back in to collect their money, and Aaron stops him for a moment. “Excuse, could you also add on the cost of two muffins? My boyfriend and I would like to buy some for breakfast tomorrow, we have a sort of Sunday breakfast tradition."

"Aw, that is so cute. We should do that George."

"Your wish is my command, darling."

The waiter comes back with the muffins and Aaron stands up as soon as they're in his hands. He can't wait to get out of here. Alexander comes over to his side and leans in close.

"This was the worst. I almost wish we would have gotten assassinated like we were joking about."

Aaron snorts in agreement and follows George and Samuel out of the room. Samuel is going on and on about some story, and Aaron just smiles and nods, not really paying attention.

“It was _so_ funny and-oh my gosh, Eliza? How are you?” Samuel waves enthusiastically and Aaron turns to see the Schuyler sisters and their father walking over to them. Aaron swears under his breath. This is not good, this is not good at all.

“Sam!" Eliza bounds over to them with a smile. "Long time no see. And Alex, hi! It’s good to see you too. Aaron, you as well.”

“Aaron?” Angelica and the rest her family walks over to them. “What are you doing here? And why are you with-“

“We were on a double date!” Samuel says with a wide smile, taking George’s hand in his own. “I ran into Alex and Aaron at the grocery a few days ago and we planned this little get together!”

“A double date?” Angelica repeats the words slowly and looks over to Aaron in disbelief. “I see.”

Aaron tries to smile, but he's pretty sure it comes out as more of a grimace. Eliza and Samuel continue to talk to each other enthusiastically as Alexander stands awkwardly off to the side, throwing George the occasional annoyed glance. Angelica moves closer to Aaron and smiles incredulously at him.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Alexander were dating?" She whispers to him and swats his arm. "How long has this been going on?"

"Oh, uh." Aaron opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how he can explain this to Angelica. "Well, I mean, we-"

"This so great, Aaron! I'm so happy for you! I _told_ you that you and Alex would be good together. You guys have to come over sometime, I'll cook for you and you can tell me how all of this happened!"

"Angelica, I don't know, I-"

"This is so great!" Angelica repeats again with a wide smile. "Now I can finally stop trying to set you up with people. So how about Wednesday evening? You two can come over for dinner!"

Aaron finds himself nodding, words still escaping him. He glances over at Alexander, trying to communicate that they need to leave as soon as possible. Alexander must get the hint because he's saying hurried goodbyes and then walking over to him, taking his arm and starting to walk towards the exit.

"No, really, we need to head back. It was great seeing all of you. By Samuel, bye _Greg_."

Aaron can't contain his laugh as Alexander spits out the last word. Once they're outside, Aaron feels like he can breathe again, and Alexander must feel the same because he lets out a loud groan.

"That was the _worst_ , oh my god. What an asshole! What a...a pretentious asshole! God. And the way he kept flirting with you, what was that? That was so creepy. I hate him." 

Aaron just smiles and shakes his head as they get into the car. It was pretty awful, but it had been fun in a weird way. However, now they had a whole other problem to deal with.

"I'm going to have nightmares about this night for years." Alexander continues as he turns on the car and begins to back out of the driveway. "Seriously, we're never leaving your apartment again. I'm so sorry you had to do that. I promise we'll never do anything like this again. Ever."

"Oh, uh, well, about that." Aaron bites his lip and looks over at Alexander. "I may or may not have agreed that you and I would go over to the Schuyler's for dinner next week...as a couple."

"You _what?_ " Alexander's hand slips on the steering wheel and the horn blares, causing the person driving in front of them to flick them off from outside their window. "Shit. Wait, wait. You agreed to what?"

"I didn't mean to! But Angelica was just suddenly there and was all 'this is so great!' and I couldn't tell her the truth with Samuel and George right there so I just-"

"Let her assume we were dating?" Alexander smirks in his direction. "Sounds familiar." They drive in silence for a few minutes, but then Aaron shifts in his seat so he can look at Alexander.

"So...will you do it?"

"Why don't you just tell her we aren't dating, just explain the situation?"

"Oh. I mean, yeah, I could, I just..."

"What?" Alexander raises his eyebrows, still smirking. "You want to keep the charade up? Aaron if you like me that much then you can just ask me out for real instead of trying to come up with situations to keep hanging out with me."

"Shut up." Aaron mumbles before taking a deep breath. "It's just...Angelica has been trying to set me up with people for ages, and it's annoying. So I just...if she thinks me and you are dating, then..."

"Then she'll lay off a bit?" Alexander finishes with a nod. "Yeah. I get it." He's silent for a moment, and then takes a deep breath. "Tell you what, Aaron, I'll do it in exchange for a few things. Number one, I don't have to do your laundry anymore. Number two, you let me sleep in your bed cause I'm pretty sure my neck is cramping from sleeping on that couch. Number three, well...number three I will think about. But there _will_ be a number three."

Aaron scowls as he considers the options, even though he already knows what he's going to say. He has to agree, otherwise Angelica will give him so much shit for lying to her and everyone else, and that's not a situation he wants to be in.

"Fine. I agree to the conditions."

"Great!" Alexander smiles at him, his eyes sparkling. "Well then, I am officially your long term, fake boyfriend. This is gonna be so much fun!"

"Yeah." Aaron mumbles to himself, resting his head against the window. "Fun."

This is going to be awful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW that was a long one. I hope you guys liked it, I tried to put a lot in there, so sorry if the flow was a little weird.
> 
> But OH BOY Alex and Aaron are in for more adventures now
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and sticking with this fic! Follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to talk (and you can message me privately if you want the name of my main blog)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY NEW CHAPTER!
> 
> I apologize for how bad all the office/lawyer stuff is, but I know nothing about being a paralegal/lawyer so...whoops.
> 
> Enjoy it guys, it's a fun one

“You did _what?_ ”

Alex sighs for what feels like the hundredth time that day. In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have called John and Hercules after the fake date and spilled everything to them, but his mind was spinning and he needed to talk to someone about it.

“I told you already.” Alex huffs out. “I went on a fake date with Burr and now I am long term fake dating him.”

“What does that even mean?” Herc asks, his voice full of amazement. “Long term fake dating? How can you long term fate date someone?”

“It’s actually pretty simple. We just tell people we’re dating even though we aren’t. It’ll get people off of Burr’s back for awhile and for me, well…” Alex trails off, thinking what he’s getting out of the situation. “Well, I owe him for doing the one fake date and I get to sleep in a bed instead of on the couch, and I mean, it’s not like, a huge hassle or anything.”

“But Alex,” John’s voice is tentative, “don’t you...I mean, the last time we talked you said you sort of have a thing for Burr. Is this really a good idea? You don't think you're in over your head on this?”

“It’ll be totally fine.” Alex says, waving a hand dismissively even though John and Herc can’t see him. “I mean, I’m not like _in love_ with the guy, it’s just a small crush.” Alex thinks back to the date and how his stomach had twisted when Aaron had talked about how they had met and started dating, and how he wished that the story were true. “Seriously, I’ll be fine. I can handle this. I can.”

“Alex...”

“I’ll be _fine_ , John.”

“Listen to the man, John. He knows what he’s doing. Where’s Burr now, anyway?”

“Taking a shower.” Alex shakes his head and smiles. “He’s one of those weirdos who showers twice in one day. Who does that?”

“Maybe he has really bad body odor.” John says, which makes Alex snort. That would certainly be a turn off.

“Or maybe he takes, like, metaphorical showers.” Herc offers, causing a silence to fall over the conversation.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Alex asks with a laugh. “A metaphorical shower? How can you metaphorically take a shower?”

“You know! Like, he’s metaphorically washing the day away, or whatever.”

Alex rolls his eyes as he listens to John and Herc bicker back and forth, John arguing that it’s impossible to take a metaphorical shower while Herc argues that it’s definitely a thing. When Alex hears the water turn off in the bathroom, he interrupts their argument.

“Well, metaphorical or not, Burr’s done with his shower, so I gotta go. I’ll keep you guys updated on what happens.”

“Ask Burr what kind of shower it was so we can-“

Alex hangs up before Herc can finish his sentence. He shoves his phone into his pocket as Aaron walks into the room, doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t just telling his two friends about their new secret fake dating arrangement that no one is supposed to know about. 

“Hey.” Alex says, wincing at how high-pitched his voice comes out. Smooth, real smooth.

“Hey.” Aaron responds, his eyebrows raising slightly at Alex’s tone. He must choose to ignore it though, because he simply walks around Alex and gets a glass of water. “So…” He takes a sip from his glass as he turns around. “Worst double date in history?”

“Probably.” Alex laughs and runs a hand through his hair, glad that they're both on the same page about how bad the date was. “Although I did take Eliza on one once, with Herc and the girl he was dating at the time. It ended with her dumping a drink on me and Herc breaking up with her at the table, so…”

“You’ll have to give me the full story on that some time.” Aaron turns again and grabs the paper bag that is holding the two muffins he bought at the restaurant. “I don’t know about you, but I lost my appetite after George and Sam started feeding each other...” He opens the bag and takes out the muffins, holding one out for Alex to take.

“I lost mine the first time George flirted with you.” Alex mumbles, accepting the muffin Aaron offers him. Aaron only chuckles at his comment and proceeds to take small bites of his own muffin. Alex flicks his eyes over his face. “I…did you…what did you think of George? I mean, you didn’t like him, did you?”

“Put it this way, if I ever see him again, it’ll be too soon.”

Alex laughs and ducks his head so Aaron won’t see the relief that is probably flooding across his face at that moment. When he lifts his head back up, Aaron is watching him but his eyes quickly flick down to the counter, like he had been caught. A silence falls over the room, and Alex picks at his muffin, trying to think of something to say, because the room suddenly feels like it's full of some sort of tension.

“So…” He clears his throat a few times before continuing. “Do you take metaphorical showers?”

“Excuse me?”

“You know,” Alex waves a hand and laughs softly at Aaron’s confused expression, “washing the day away, and all that. Is that why you take two showers?”

Aaron stares at him a beat longer before breaking out into a short burst of laughter. He turns and puts his glass into the sink, and when he turns around, he’s still smiling.

“No, I do not take metaphorical showers, or whatever the hell you just said. I took a second shower tonight because you,” Aaron pushes a finger into Alex's chest as he stops in front of him, “take a whole century to shower in the mornings and I don't want to have to wait around for you to finish, so I took one tonight instead." 

“I don’t take that long.” Alex scoffs as Aaron steps around him, a smile still playing around his lips.

“Centuries.” Aaron repeats, still walking away from him.

“I do not. Where are you going?”

“To bed, it’s been a long day.”

“Bed?” Alex walks over to where Aaron is now standing in the living room. “God, you’re like an old man. It’s what, 9:30 and you’re going to bed? You know, if you stayed up past midnight you might sleep in long enough to sleep through my century long showers, and then you won't have to wait anyway.”

Aaron rolls his eyes at Alex’s statement but doesn’t respond. Instead, he raises his arms above his head in a stretch. The hem of his shirt rises, exposing a portion of his stomach. Alex’s eyes track the movement, and he suddenly finds himself nodding.

“Ok, yeah, bed.” Alex starts walking towards the bedroom. “We should go to bed.” Alex turns back around when he doesn’t hear Aaron following him. He watches in silence for a moment as Aaron sits down on the couch. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Aaron stretches out onto the couch and pulls a cover over him. “Going to sleep.”

“But I…you said…what about my second condition?”

“If I remember, your second condition was that you could sleep in a bed, not that I had to be there with you.”

“I…that’s, well...” Alex splutters for a few more moments before finally collecting himself. “That’s cheating.”

“You should have been more clear in your demands." Aaron smirks at him and then gives a little wave. "Goodnight, Alexander.”

Alex mumbles darkly under his breath but turns on his heel and walks towards the bedroom. Of course Aaron would find a way to twist his negotiations, the guy does want to be a lawyer. But whatever, he still gets to sleep in a bed, which is something he has missed greatly. When he walks into the bedroom, jumps immediately onto the bed and quickly gets under the covers. He rolls around until he finds a comfortable position, and sighs contentedly.

If Aaron wants to sleep on the couch, then fine, but Alex is never giving up this bed.

-

When Alex goes to work on Monday, it’s with the feeling that it’s going to be a good day. He wakes up feeling well rested, has two cups of coffee, and decides to walk to work, since it’s such a nice day. When he gets to work, however, Alex is not expecting to be swept up into a hug by Peggy.

“Congratulations!”

“Oh, uh, thank you!” Alex pats her on the back awkwardly as she squeals, and then he pulls away. “Uhm, sorry, but what am I being congratulated on?”

“Angelica told me that you and Aaron are dating!” Peggy smiles up at him. “Why didn’t you say anything yourself?”

“Really, Alex.” Lafayette walks up behind Peggy. “You told me you were living with Burr because your apartment flooded, not because you two were dating!”

“Oh well, I mean.” Alex suddenly feels overwhelmed. He had forgotten that Peggy would have heard the news from her sisters, and then of course she would tell Lafayette. He hadn’t been prepared to make up a story. “I just, that’s how it started out. Me staying with him for a few weeks you know, but then he, well I asked him, I guess, on a date, and well, yeah.”

“I expect to be given the full story later on.” Lafayette says with a wink before heading over to his desk, pulling Peggy along with him. 

Alex laughs weakly in response as he walks over to his desk and sits down. He takes out his phone and types out a quick text to John and Herc, telling them to not tell Lafayette that him and Aaron aren’t really dating. He knows it’s wrong to ask them to keep the secret, but if Laf knows, then he’ll have to tell Peggy, and then Peggy will tell her sisters, and everything will blow up.

“Did I hear that correctly?” Lee is suddenly standing next his desk, staring down at him with an incredulous look on his face. “You and Burr are _dating_?”

“Yes.” Alex says shortly, not wanting to discuss the topic any further, especially not with Lee.

“That has to be the craziest news I’ve ever heard. Like…you and _Burr?_ You guys are complete opposites, you know? And you’re totally not Burr’s type. I never would have guessed that he would date you.” With that, Lee laughs and walks over to his own desk.

Alex tries to laugh off the comment as well, but he’s pretty sure he’s grimacing instead, so he slumps in his seat and turns away from Lee. How does he know who is Aaron’s type anyway? Alex could totally be his type. Fuck Lee. He doesn’t know anything.

Alex’s good mood quickly evaporates. For the rest of the work day, he doesn’t talk to anyone and puts his frustrations into his work. He's typing away angrily on his laptop when he looks up to see Lafayette standing next to him.

"What?" He snaps out, not in the mood to tell Lafayette the thrilling, fake story about how him and Aaron are madly in love.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you and your great mood," Lafayette says sarcastically, "but Washington wants to talk to you in his office. I suggest fixing your temper before you go in."

"Oh." Alex sits up in his chair and his hand immediately flies to his hair in an attempt to smooth it down. "Okay...okay. Sorry for snapping at you, Laf. I just, long day, you know? Thanks for passing on the message." He stands up and claps Lafayette on the shoulder before walking down towards Washington's office. He takes a deep breath before knocking, and wills his heart to slow down. A loud 'come in' echoes from the other side.

"Sir." Alex steps in and closes the door. "Lafayette told me that you wanted to see me, how can I help?"

Washington looks up from where he's seated at his desk and smiles at him. Alex swallows and steps forward nervously. He's been working for Washington and Greene for awhile, but Washington never fails to intimidate him.

"Hamilton, yes. Come in, have a seat. I wanted to talk to you about a case that we recently took up." Washington gestures to the chair in front of his desk, and Alex sits down in it, feeling even smaller as he does. The chair is large, and his feet barely touch the floor. "It's an employment discrimination case, the business confirmed the hiring of a young women over a phone interview, but fired her during her first day. As you can imagine, she's suing for discrimination based on their actions."

"Yes, sir." Alex says once Washington pauses. Washington looks at him expectantly, but Alex doesn't know what else to say. He clears his throat. "I...do you need me to help you sort the paperwork?"

"I need to you to do more than that, if you're up for it. I'd like you to play a pivotal part in this case. I'd need you to do research on the business, conduct interviews, talk to our client, and prepare materials for the trial. I'm asking you to be my right hand man on this. It's a lot of responsibility, but I'm trusting that you can handle it."

"I..." Alex is speechless, he can't believe this. He never thought Washington would give him a lead on a case or allow him to lead a trial ever again. "Yes, sir, of course I can handle it. Yes." He stands up, his excitement making it hard to sit. "You can trust me with this."

"I hope I can." Washington stares at him for a moment before nodding. "Lafayette is working on it as well, you two will be working closely together. We'll discuss it more throughout the week. For now, go home and enjoy your night. I'll see you tomorrow, Hamilton."

"Yes, sir, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow." Alex tries to retain his composure as he leaves the room, but as soon as the door closes, he pumps a fist in the air. He can't believe this. He walks back to his desk with a new jump in his step, and he can't help but grin widely as he starts to put some of his things away.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and when Alex pulls it out, he sees a text from Aaron.

_ >>> 5:15 Can you pick me up? Angelica can’t give me a ride_

Alex shoots back an affirmative and starts packing up the rest of his things. He says goodbye to Lafayette and Peggy, and even waves cheerily to Lee on his way out. He’s smiling the entire walk over to Aaron’s office, he can’t help it; the fact that Washington trusts him enough for this is great, it's beyond great. He's been waiting so long for this.

When he gets to the the office, Aaron is already waiting outside. Alex smiles and waves but Aaron just frowns at him in response.

“Where’s your car?” He asks as soon as Alex reaches him.

“Hello to you too. And I walked to work today, so I don’t have one.”

“You walked.” Aaron repeats, breathing out heavily and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Then why did you bother coming over here?”

“I wanted to see you, of course.” Alex says with a wink. When Aaron continues to frown and then pushes past him without another word, Alex’s smile starts to falter. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“What, you didn’t want to see me?”

“I’d rather see you in a car.” Aaron bites out, not even bothering to look back at Alex.

“Well someone has their panties in a twist.” Alex grumbles as he follows Aaron down the sidewalk. “If you really didn’t want to see me, you shouldn’t have texted me. Sorry for thinking you’d want the company.” Alex watches Aaron as his jaw clenches and unclenches. After a few more moments of silence, he sighs heavily and glances over at Alex.

“I’m sorry.” He says finally. “It’s been a shitty day.”

“S’fine.” Alex responds with a shrug. “We all have those days sometimes. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Alex rolls his eyes. Aaron would be the type of person who just fumes silently through his problems. He allows them to walk in silence for a few minutes, but when it seems like Aaron really isn’t going to talk about his day, Alex bumps his shoulder into Aaron’s, making the other man glance over at him.

“Come on, Burr. Just tell me what happened! Get out it all into the open, you’ll feel better. Was it Jefferson? Did he do something annoying? It was totally Jefferson, wasn't it?”

“Thomas didn’t do anything annoying, at least nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Ok…” Alex bites his lip in concentration, thinking of what else it could be since Aaron obviously isn’t going to just tell him. “You spilled coffee on yourself! No? Ok, uh, you lost your favorite pen?”

“Why would losing a pen ruin my day?”

“I don’t know, you just seem like someone who would get upset over losing a pen.”

“Should I take that as a compliment, or as an insult?” Aaron asks, his lips starting to quirk up into a smile.

“Probably a little bit of both, if I’m being honest.”

Aaron outright laughs at that, and Alex smiles widely. At least he’s cheering him up a little bit. They walk in silence again for a little longer, until Aaron lets out another heavy sigh. Alex glances over at him and sighs himself. 

“Come on, Aaron. Just tell me what’s up! Did Angelica corner you into having us coming over her house every night for dinner?”

“No.” Aaron rubs the back of his neck. “But she did have to reschedule our one for this week. She forgot that she was busy.”

“Oh.” Alex frowns and stares down at the sidewalk. He realizes that the feeling slowly growing in his stomach is disappointment. He had been looking forward to spending another fake date with Aaron. He gives himself a small shake and puts a smile back on his face. “So _that’s_ why you’re upset. You’re sad that you’re missing out on spending another evening with me as your boyfriend! Shucks, Burr. We can still have a fake date if you want.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I think you mean adorable.” Alex says, stepping in front of Aaron and stopping him in his tracks so he has no other option but to look down at him. “Come on, really. Let’s do something fun instead. We can go see a movie.”

“I have work the next day.” Aaron says, his expression going back to being closed off, which makes Alex rolls his eyes.

“Oh please, you can still see a movie. We can go to an early showing, right after work. We can buy shitty popcorn and those huge cups of diet coke that make you have to pee like five times during the movie so you miss all the good parts. Come on, let’s do it!”

“No.” Aaron moves around Alex and starts to walk again, not looking back to see if Alex is following him, which of course he is, walking slightly faster than usual so he can catch up.

“You’re no fun sometimes.” He whines, which makes Aaron roll his eyes. “Seriously, you are like the opposite of fun.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“When was the last time you did something fun and spontaneous?” Alex asks, and then he laughs seconds later. “Probably never. I can’t see you being spontaneous.”

“I can be spontaneous.” Aaron mumbles, glaring at Alex from the corner of his eyes. “You’ve only known me for a short time, don’t act like you know everything about me.”

“Please tell me about more than three times that you did something spontaneous and had fun doing it. See, you can’t. Point proven.”

Aaron continues to grumble under his breath, but he does not try to prove him wrong, which makes Alex grin in triumph. They continue to walk, and Alex keeps pleading with Aaron to take him out on Wednesday night, but Aaron remains stubbornly silent. Then, without warning, he stops in his tracks and grabs Alex’s wrist.

“-just one movie and – ow! Geez, what?” Alex turns back to stare at Aaron, who is looking at the window of a bakery. When Alex follows his line of sight, he sees a sign that reads,

_“Free cake tastings for married-couples-to-be! Sign up inside or give us a call to schedule a time!”_

Alex looks back up at Aaron, still confused as to what’s so fascinating about the sign. Aaron keeps looking at it, a determined expression slowly spreading across his face.

“I can be spontaneous.” Aaron repeats, and then he’s suddenly dragging Alex into the shop before he can protest.

“What the hell are you doing?” Alex whispers as they enter, a bell dinging as they do in order to alert the owners that someone has arrived. Aaron just raises his eyebrows in response and walks over to the counter, reaching out to grab the notepad that lays there.

Alex walks over to join him, and looks down at the notepad, seeing various names, phone numbers and times written on it. He glances up at Aaron.

“Please tell me you are not about to do what I think you’re about to do.” Alex says, but before Aaron can answer, a small, elderly woman walks out from the backroom and smiles at them.

“Hello you two. How can I help you?”

“Hello ma’am.” Aaron smiles, his voice sounding suddenly much more charming. “We had a cake tasting appointment scheduled for 6:15. I realize we’re a little early, but I got off of work sooner than I thought, and well, we just figured we’d stop by and see if we could start early.”

“Of course! That’s no problem at all. Let me just look at the list here.” She takes the notepad from where it’s sitting in front of Aaron. “So you must be the Wilson’s? Or the soon to be Wilson’s, I should say. When’s the big day.”

“June 4th.” Aaron responds immediately, throwing an arm around Alex’s waist and pulling him in closer, which makes Alex's heart thump a little harder in his chest. “We can’t wait, right honey?”

“Oh.” Alex looks from Aaron, who is smiling warmly at him, over to the shop owner, who is also smiling. “Yes. Can’t wait. Really, I wish it were happening next month, or tomorrow even or-“

“Anyway,” Aaron interrupts him, making Alex pout, “we’ve been looking forward to this cake tasting and really appreciate the offer. It’s so kind of you to do it for free.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” The woman waves a hand. “It’s good fun for me. Plus I love hearing all the stories of how couples met and what their weddings are going to be like. Really, it’s more for me than for them.”

Aaron chuckles at that, and Alex has to remind himself to laugh as well in order to keep up the charade. This is the strangest thing he’s ever done, even compared to their fake dinner date. He definitely didn’t expect Aaron to do this, or to be so good at lying on his feet. It’s almost unsettling, how easy it is for him to lie and pretend to be someone he isn’t. 

“Well let’s get you two started.” The woman says, walking out from behind the counter and leading them over to a table. “I’ll bring out some of our top sellers first, and then let you choose some you’re interested in sampling.” And with that, she shuffles back into the backroom, leaving them alone.

“So, I have to ask again,” Alex takes a deep breath and leans slightly over the table, “what the _hell_ are you doing?”

“Exactly what you wanted me to do.” Aaron says with a smirk. “I'm being spontaneous.”

“Burr, when I said spontaneous, I meant seeing a movie on a work night and splurging on crappy movie food, not lying to a little old lady and eating cake that isn’t ours.”

“So first you want me to be 'more fun’ but apparently this is too over the line for you? Alexander, we’re already fake dating for gods sake, pretending to be getting married isn’t that weird of a stretch. Now shut up and enjoy some free cake.”

Alex huffs out a defeated breath as the woman comes out with a tray of small cake slices. As she sets them down on the table and starts to describe each flavor, Alex finds himself become less and less perturbed by the idea of what they’re doing. The cake looks really good, and he _is_ pretty hungry. Once he takes the first bite of cake, Alex is fully resolved to keep lying.

“This is heaven.” He whimpers, taking a bite of another piece of cake. “We should do this all the time. Like we should just come back in a different disguise each day.”

“I don’t think my conscience would allow me to take this that far.” Aaron admits, taking a bite of cake himself. “I honestly didn’t even think she would believe me…”

“Oh, don’t start feeling bad now, Burr. Not when there is so much cake to be tasted.”

“I’m glad to see you aren’t feeling guilty about this anymore.” Aaron says dryly, but then he smiles at Alex from across the table. Alex responds by plunging his fork into another piece of cake and eating it with a flourish, which makes Aaron laugh.

“Well I’m glad to see you aren’t in such a pissy mood anymore.” Alex says after he swallows. “Seriously, you gonna tell me what happened now?”

“It’s really not a big deal.” Aaron sighs and stabs at the piece of cake on his plate. “It was just, I thought I was going to get to take charge of this case we just got, but Montgomery and Knox decided to let Madison take the lead, which you know, he deserves, but I just really wanted it.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, just eats another piece of cake and takes his time chewing it. He figures this isn’t the best time to bring up the fact that he just got the lead on a case. Alex is about to say something when the woman returns to their table.

“Can I get you anything else to sample?”

“Oh, could we actually get another sample of this one?” Alex gestures to one of the cakes. “My fiancé thinks it’s the one, but I think I need a little more convincing.”

“Oh, that’s our red velvet cake, it’s very popular. I’ll get you another slice.” She walks away with a smile.

“You’re ridiculous.” Aaron says with a shake of his head, but his smile is fond, and it makes Alex squirm slightly in his seat.

“I like cake." He says with a shrug. "And you know, just because you didn’t get this one lead, that doesn’t mean you never will. Montgomery and Knox will realize that you’re a necessity to the company and reward you for it.”

“I know.” Aaron nods and looks down at his hands. “I know, and I'm fine with waiting. Really, I am. I know I made a big deal about it, but I was just upset in the moment. I just need to keep waiting, but it’ll happen.” His eyes flick back up to Alex’s and he clears his throat. “Thanks for saying what you said though, and for coming to pick me up. It helped.”

"You're welcome. And I knew it would, my presence fixes everything."

Aaron looks like he's about to open his mouth to argue, but then the woman is returning again, placing new slices of cake in front of them. Alex immediately reaches his fork out, batting Aaron's out of the way so he can get to the cake first.

"You are such a child." Aaron laughs, reaching out to take a piece of a different slice. Alex just shrugs again and continues to eat more. 

Alex spends the next few minutes doing an impersonation of Lee, which makes Aaron laugh appreciatively. After a lot of convincing and negotiating of cake slices, Alex even gets Aaron to do an impersonation of Jefferson, which is something he wished he could have recorded. He knows that he always has fun hanging out with Aaron, but Alex is always so surprised at just how _much_ fun he has. He likes spending time with him.

Alex is happily eating away at a slice of cake when Aaron laughs softly under his breath. Alex looks up at him and raises his eyebrows in a question.

“You have frosting on your face.” Aaron says with a loud laugh, gesturing to his face. Before Alex can even react, Aaron is leaning across the table and one of his hands is warm against his cheek. His other hand comes up and his thumb brushes over Alex’s top lip.

Alex tries to keep his breathing steady, but he can feel his face growing warmer and his heartbeat is erratic. Aaron brushes his thumb over his lip again, slower this time, and when Alex makes eye contact, he think he sees something in Aaron’s eyes. He thinks he feels Aaron’s thumb press a little harder against his lip, and he thinks the contact is lasting a beat longer than normal, and he thinks that-

The ding of the doorbell startles them both and causes Aaron to pull his hand back quickly. Alex looks over Aaron's shoulder to see a couple walk in and start over towards the counter. Alex makes eye contact with Aaron, and they realize at the same time what is about to happen.

As the couple starts to talk to the old woman, Alex and Aaron stand up slowly from the table so they don't draw attention to themselves. Aaron grabs his jacket, which he had taken off, and starts to pull it back on. That's when they hear the shop owner start to speak

"I'm...wait. _You're_ the Wilson's? Then who..." She peers over at Aaron and Alex, and so do the couple at the counter.

"Uh..." Alex stands at the side of the table, not sure what to do. Then, Aaron grabs his arm and drags him over to the door.

"You have really great cake!" Aaron blurts out as he throws some money onto the table in compensation, and then he wrenches the door open and pulls Alex with him. 

They burst out of the bakery in breathless laughter, Aaron tugging on Alex’s coat sleeve as he leads him down the sidewalk and away from the shop. Once they’re far enough, they stop to catch their breath, still laughing.

Alex clutches his side, which burns slightly from both the running and the laughing. When he looks up at Aaron, it’s to see him laughing breathlessly as well, and Alex thinks it’s the first time he’s seen him laugh so hard.

It’s a nice sight. He wants to see more of it.

“I thought of my third condition.” Alex says loudly as he continues to stare at Aaron.

“I…what?” Aaron is still laughing, but he also looks slightly bewildered. “Your third condition? What do you mean?”

“I said I would be your fake boyfriend on three conditions, and I know my third one now.”

“Should I sit down for this or-“

“I want to go on fake dates every weekend.” Alex says quickly before he loses the courage. “I want to go out and have fun, with you, at least twice a week. That’s my final condition.”

"Alexander, I-"

"Take it or leave it." Alex says stubbornly, cutting Aaron off again. When Aaron just stares at him wordlessly, Alex feels the nerves start to kick in. What if Aaron says no? What if he just calls the whole thing off? What if-

"Okay." Aaron says, nodding slowly. "Okay, fine. But if it's a really busy week, then we just do one date. And I reserve the right to cancel if I have to."

"I...okay, fine." Alex says, surprised that Aaron agreed so easily. "Okay...good. Good, good, good."

Aaron snorts at his response and starts to walk again. As they walk, Alex thinks back to what John had asked him, if him and Burr's arrangement was really a good idea, and if Alex is in over his head.

Alex peers over at Aaron, and thinks he sees him hiding a smile. Alex stares at him so long that he almost trips over his own feet, and Aaron has to reach an arm out to steady him. They continue to walk back to their apartment, not speaking, and their shoulders brushing occasionally. Alex finds that he can't help but lean into the touch.

He's definitely in way over his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was was a blast to write, I hope you guys liked it too! (baking adventures ensue in the next one and I am real excited for it)
> 
> Just a heads up, I got two internships for the summer (yay!) So updates miiigghhtt be a little slower or shorter, depending on how each week goes. But I'll definitely still try to do one update a week!
> 
> Thanks for reading this, and it means a lot to get kudos/comments from you guys, so please leave them! (for real, I get strength from your guys's comments and feedback). Also, if you want to talk to me on tumblr, follow me @ fanciful-follies 
> 
> Till next time x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER. It's full of fluff and a tiny bit of angst
> 
> enjoy x
> 
> also the lady who makes an appearance isn't an actual historical figure, she's made up completely.

For the first time in a very long time, Aaron has the apartment to himself.

Alex had decided to go hang out with Laurens, Mulligan and Lafayette for the day, and if Aaron’s being honest, he’s kind of glad to have a little space and time alone. It’s not because Aaron doesn’t like Alex, because he does.

And that’s exactly what’s starting freak him out a little.

Everything started feeling different after the whole cake incident, after Alexander said that he wanted to go one fake dates with him every week. At first Aaron thought it was just Alexander messing around with him, but then he had looked so serious when he requested the dates, and before Aaron really thought about it, he had found himself agreeing. The idea had made him smile at first, because as much as he might deny it, he enjoys spending time with Alexander. But now…well…

Aaron doesn’t know what kind of game Alexander is playing. He can’t tell what Alexander is thinking, or why he even wants to go on these fake dates. On the one hand, it could just be because he’s bored and wants to go out and have fun. It might not even matter if Aaron is the one taking him out. But on the other hand, he could be requesting the dates be specifically with Aaron because...because why? Because Alexander _likes_ him? Does he want these to be _real_ dates?

Aaron sighs and bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks. He doesn’t know which option he wants to be the truth. The first one might be preferable, since it would leave out any emotional attachment. Because if it is the second one that’s true, and Alexander actually likes him, well…Aaron’s not sure if he’s ready for that.

He hasn’t dated anyone since Theodosia passed. He hasn’t even liked anyone since then, hasn’t tried to like anyone. How could he, when all he sees when he closes his eyes is Theodosia’s face, her eyes, her smile…Aaron’s not sure if he's ready for that face to replaced with someone else’s. 

Besides, Aaron doesn’t even know if he likes Alexander in that way. Sure, he has grown closer to him, and somehow felt comfortable enough to let him live in his apartment, but does that mean he _likes_ Alexander? Sure, he’s interesting, and funny, and not all together as annoying as Aaron had initially thought. And then sure, Aaron can admit that he’s relatively good looking; his eyes are a nice color, and his skin looks soft, almost as soft as his hair. And then his mouth looks nice when he laughs or smiles, and his lips-

The oven timer beeps loudly behind him, making Aaron jump out of his thoughts. He turns and opens the door so he can check the progress of the cake inside. It’s also been awhile since he’s baked anything; he usually does it when he’s stressed. Aaron carefully takes the cake out of the oven and places it on a cooling rack before turning and walking to the fridge to start collecting ingredients to make the frosting. He grabs the butter and cream cheese and places them on the counter, then heads to the cupboard for the powdered sugar and vanilla extract.

As Aaron places the last two ingredients onto the counter, he hears the door open and close loudly, followed by a sound that signals Alexander has just tossed his coat carelessly onto the ground as usual.

“Honey, I’m home!” His voice rings out, making Aaron roll his eyes but smile at the same time. The apartment feels completely different once Alexander returns, like his energy seeps into the walls, and suddenly everything feels more alive. Aaron gives himself a small shake; when had he started to notice that?

“Oh my _god_.” Alexander stops in his tracks when he walks into the kitchen and sees Aaron. “You’re baking. And you’re wearing an apron, that is so adorable.” He whips out his phone and takes a picture before Aaron can stop him. “Oh yeah, that’s a keeper, that’s my new background.”

“Why are you even here?” Aaron asks, hoping to distract Alexander from taking more pictures. “I thought you were gonna be out all day?”

“Change of plans. John got called into work and then Herc had to run off somewhere. I spent some time with Lafayette, but then he just started going on and on about Peggy and I made an excuse to leave.”

Aaron only grunts in response as he turns his attention back to the ingredients he had laid out. He reads over the instructions one last time before going to grab a large mixing bowl. When he turns back to the counter, he notices that Alexander is leaning against it and smiling at him.

“What?” Aaron asks, raising his eyebrows.

“What what?” Alexander responds with a smirk. “Am I not allowed to watch you bake?”

“No.”

“Aw, come on, Burr. My plans fell through and now I need to be entertained. You’re already in a costume, so just go ahead and do your thing. Entertain me. I’ve never gotten to see you bake before.”

“Well, you can go watch the Food Network if you're interested in watching people bake.” Aaron mumbles, rolling up his sleeves. “I’m sure it would be much more exciting.” When he glances back over at Alexander, Aaron doesn’t miss how Alexander’s eyes are following the trail of his fingers as they continue to roll up his sleeves. Alexander’s eyes quickly flick back up to his face when he notices Aaron is watching him.

“I’m not interested in watching Cutthroat Kitchen right now.” Alexander says, flushing slightly under Aaron’s gaze. “Come on, what are you baking anyway?”

“Well, I would hope not.” Aaron says, ignoring both Alexander’s last comment and the way his face was flushing. “Cutthroat Kitchen isn’t even a cooking show, they just prank each other, and no skill is needed.”

“Oh my god, you’re one of those people.”

“One of what people?”

“One of those people who just likes those boring, step by step cooking shows that teach how to cook a meal in like 30 seconds or whatever.” Alexander laughs and then shakes his head. “I should have known. It’s ok, I’ll still be your friend.”

“Thank God for that.” Aaron mutters and then he just stares at Alexander. “Are you really going to stand there and watch me?”

“Yes. Or you could let me help you.”

“Have you ever baked anything before? Actually, don’t answer that.” Aaron holds up a hand and then points over to the cupboard. “If you want to help, you have to wear an apron too. And wash your hands. And you have to follow all of my instructions.”

“Yes, sir.” Alexander gives him a small salute and then walks over to the cupboard, taking out the other apron that hangs there. He puts it on with a flourish and then heads to the sink to wash his hands. “Hey, uou already made the cake!” He exclaims. “What are you doing now, then?”

“I’m just making the icing for it.”

“Well, how hard can that be? I can make icing. I’m an icing master, just you wait. Oh hey, I forgot, I need to ask you something.” Alexander turns around and wipes his hands on his apron. “So, my apartment is supposed to be fixed up by next week, and well…I need to know if I should tell them I’m going to move back in.”

“What do you mean?”

“I…” Alexander runs a hand through his hair and looks down at the ground. “Well, I mean, I’ve been living with you, and I know it was temporary, but now we’re doing the fake dating thing, right? I don’t know how long that’s going to be going on or whatever but I just figured it would be easier if I kept living here…with you, so we could…uhm…you know, to keep up the appearance that we’re dating.”

“Oh.” Aaron hadn’t even thought about that. It would definitely be weird for Angelica to come visit him and see that Alexander isn’t living with him anymore. She would ask questions. But then, it might also be a mistake to have Alexander move in full time. Aaron isn’t sure if he wants that. Or at least he's too nervous to think about what it would mean if he _did_ want that. “Can I think about it and get back to you?”

“Yep!” Alexander smiles, but Aaron doesn’t miss the way his voice is slightly higher pitched than usual. “So, icing. Let’s make some.”

“Right.” Aaron turns and grabs the handheld electric mixer he had gotten out earlier. He hands it to Alexander and then focuses on the ingredients in front of them. “Ok, so. We add four ounces of the butter…” Aaron gets the required amount and drops it into the bowl. “And then another four ounces of the cream cheese.” He adds that as well.

“Seems simple enough. Do I mix it now?”

Aaron nods his approval, and Alexander turns the mixer on and moves it around to combine the two ingredients. Aaron can’t help but laugh softly at how determined he looks; his tongue sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed.

“This is great!” Alexander yells suddenly over the noise, turning to Aaron with a smile. “What’s next?”

“Uhm…” Aaron tears his eyes away from where they had still been looking at Alexander, and reads the instructions. “So we put the mixer on low speed and add the two cups powdered sugar next.”

Alexander nods, looking more and more excited, which makes Aaron laugh again. He measures out one cup of powdered sugar and goes to add it in. The next second, powdered sugar flies everywhere as the mixer speeds up instead of slowing down. Aaron and Alexander both splutter as the sugar hits them in the face.

“Turn it off!” Aaron shouts as he rubs at his eyes. When he opens them, he sees Alexander staring confusedly at the mixer.

“Where is the off button?” Instead of continuing to look for it, he pulls the mixer out of the bowl while it’s still running. The result is that even more of the ingredients fly off of it and onto them.

“Off, off!” Aaron yells again. He grabs the mixer from Alexander and finds the button to switch it off. He places it back in the bowl and then looks over at Alexander, who is staring back with wide eyes.

“Oops.”

Aaron opens his mouth to respond, but instead he finds himself laughing, loudly this time. Once he’s started, he can’t stop, and he clutches at his side as he gasps for breath. Alexander stares down at him in confusion, and then frowns.

“I’m sorry.” Aaron manages to get out. “But your face! You…you…” he tries to catch his breath, “you look so serious but you have…” Aaron gestures helplessly to his face, “sugar and butter all over you.”

“Shut up.” Alexander says, but he’s smiling now too. “And newsflash, you don’t look any better.” He reaches out a hand and slides a finger over Aaron’s cheek. When he brings it away, it’s covered in a strange mixture of cream cheese, butter, and sugar. It’s enough to make Aaron start laughing all over again, but this time he forces himself to walk over to the sink and wet two paper towels. He throws one over to Alexander and then starts wiping his own face off.

“Ok, well, your mixing duties have been taken away.” He teases as he grabs the mixer. “You pour the last cup of powdered sugar in while I mix.” This time, the powdered sugar stays in the bowl along with the rest of the ingredients, and then they add a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Aaron continues to mix until it’s well blended, and then he turns off the mixer and sets it aside.

“I guess I wouldn’t do too well on Cutthroat Kitchen.” Alexander says with a dramatic sigh. “Not unless you were there to save the day.”

“Well, let’s see if you can redeem yourself by helping me ice the cake.” Aaron brings the cake over to the counter and then pulls out two butter knives. He hands one to Alexander and then he starts to ice one side of the cake. They work mostly in silence for the next half hour or so, each concentrating on icing their side of the cake. Once Aaron is done, he steps back to observe the finished product.

“Wow.” Aaron says with a smirk. “Your side is definitely…interesting.” He snorts when Alexander glares at him, but it’s true. Alexander’s side isn’t as smooth as his, and there are chunks of cake showing here and there. “Icing master my ass.”

“Shut up, Burr.” Alexander steps back too, but laughs when he sees his side compared to Aaron’s. “It’s not fair that I’m up against the _actual_ icing master. I guess you’ll just have to teach me.” He winks and then moves one of his hands to tuck a stray a piece of hair behind his ear.

“I guess I will.” Aaron responds, following the movement of Alexander’s hand with his eyes. “Hey, you’ve got some icing on you still, right there…” Aaron reaches out his own hand and rubs his thumb over the underside of Alexander’s jaw.

Alexander gasps softly at the contact. His skin is warm, and Aaron presses a little harder against it, letting his other fingers trail over the skin. Aaron suddenly feels goosebumps under his fingers, but he still doesn't pull his hand away. Then he makes eye contact with Alexander, and there's a heat in his eyes that makes Aaron swallow hard. In the next moment, Aaron pulls his hand back and both of them are turning away from each other.

“So.” Alexander clears his throat. “When can we eat it?”

“It’s not for us.” Aaron says, still not looking at him. There's a strange tension in the room now, and Aaron thinks he can feel heat radiating from Alexander. “It’s for the older woman who lives next door. I make stuff for her sometimes. I’m bringing the cake and some pasta that’s in the fridge over to her. Now, actually.” Aaron clears his throat and then grabs a plate to put the cake on. “I’ll be back in a little bit. She likes to talk to me whenever I stop by, so…”

Alexander just nods, also still not looking at him, so Aaron shifts awkwardly on his feet and then leaves quickly, holding the plate in his hands tightly. When the apartment door closes behind him, he lets out a breath he had been keeping in. His one hand, the hand that had touched Alexander, feels like it’s burning. He ignores the feeling and knocks on the door that's a few feet down the hallway. He waits patiently, and then smiles at the woman who opens it.

“Aaron! Oh, it’s been so long since you’ve come to see me.” She reaches out a shaky hand and pats him sternly on the cheek.

“Hello, Mrs. Wilson.” Aaron says. “And I know, I’m sorry. But I’ve brought a cake as an apology.”

“Well, you certainly know how to treat a lady.” Mrs. Wilson takes the plate from him and sets it down onto the table that is next to her doorway. “I’m always forgetting to cook, but you’re my knight in shining armor. That wife of your is one lucky woman.”

“Not as lucky as I am.” Aaron responds softly, his smile growing a little tighter around the edges.

“You two deciding to move into this building all those years ago has certainly been great for me. All this food, I hardly know what to do with it sometimes. And where’s Theodosia tonight? Too busy to come and visit?”

“Yes ma’am, but she says hello and wishes she could have come.” Aaron repeats the words he has said to Mrs. Wilson countless times without even having to think. There’s a script, and he sticks to it. “I’ll bring her with me next time.”

“Good. I know my memory isn’t what it used to be, but it certainly feels like ages since I’ve seen her pretty face around here. But I suppose she must be tired, has her stomach gotten any bigger since the last time I saw her?”

“Sure has. Sometimes I think it must be impossible for the baby to grow any bigger, but I’m always proven wrong.” Aaron says the words with a rehearsed smile, knowing that they will make Mrs. Wilson laugh, which she does, loud and happy as if right on cue.

She had been diagnosed with a form of short-term memory loss almost four years ago.

“Well you have to promise to bring Theodosia and your new baby over here once the big day happens, alright? I never got to have kids, with Mr. Wilson always being so busy and then passing as young as he did. I see my sister's kids sometimes, but not as often as I'd like.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.” Aaron says, remembering the day that Mrs. Wilson’s sister had brought her back to her room. He had been out in the hallway just getting home from work. The sister had come up to him, telling him about the doctor’s memory loss diagnosis and asking him to promise to help Mrs. Wilson whenever he could. He had agreed, and had kept that promise to this day, even if Mrs. Wilson doesn’t know it.

“You all will make the cutest family. You and Theodosia will be great parents and-oh, who’s this? A friend of yours?” Mrs. Wilson nods and smiles, her eyes moving to stare over Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron turns, and his eyes widen when they land on Alexander, who is standing there with a shell-shocked expression. How much had he heard?

“I…sorry.” He stutters, and then thrusts out his hand, which is holding a container. “But you…you forget the pasta so I brought it over.”

Aaron feels numb, but he forces his hand out and takes the container, refusing to meet Alexander’s eyes. Instead, he turns back to Mrs. Wilson and gives her the container.

“Pasta, for your dinner tonight. Don’t forget to eat it, alright? I…I should be going. I’ll visit again soon.”

“You worry too much about me, dear.” Mrs. Wilson pats his cheek again and smiles. “Visit soon. And bring that wife of yours with you.”

“I will.” Aaron tries to smile, but his voice cracks slightly and he can feel Alexander looking at him. He says goodbye to Mrs. Wilson and then turns and walks to his room without glancing back at Alexander.

“Aaron.” Alexander’s voice is soft as he steps in and closes the door, but it still makes Aaron twitch. He doesn’t want to talk about it. No one was supposed to know about it. “Aaron, hey…” He steps around Aaron so he’s in front of him.

“Don’t.” Aaron snaps out before he can stop himself. “Just…don’t, ok? I don’t…we don’t need to talk about it. I know it’s messed up.” He tries to push past Alexander, but he reaches out a hand and grabs Aaron’s arm.

“We do need to talk about it. What even was that? Why does she…”

“She has a form of short term memory loss.” Aaron says in a hurry, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible. “Can’t form new memories, has had it for four years so…so she still thinks that I’m married and…”

“You shouldn’t do that to yourself.” Alexander says, his eyes wide as he grips Aaron’s arm even tighter. “You shouldn’t-“

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do!” Aaron wrenches his arm away. “Don’t. You don’t get it so-“

“No, I don’t get it.” Alexander doesn’t try to grab him again, but he stands his ground and stares at Aaron. “So just explain it to me. Why do you do that to yourself?”

Aaron crosses his arms and stares up at the ceiling. He doesn’t want to have this conversation. He doesn’t want to think about it, any of it. He doesn’t want to think about anything.

“I promised her family I would look out for her so…” He uncrosses his arms and looks at Alexander briefly before looking down at the floor, trying to swallow around the emotions that are building in his stomach and catching in his throat. “So once a month I go and see Mrs. Wilson to give her food and I also get to pretend that my life isn’t the shit show it’s turned out to be, okay? I get to pretend that everything is still fine.”

“Aaron…”

“Just _stop_ , Alexander!” Aaron says louder than he intends to. “I don’t want your judgement, or…or your pity, okay? I don’t need it.”

“I’m not judging you!” Alexander tries to say calmly, but Aaron can hear his voice waver. “I’m just trying to understand. You never talk about everything that happened, you act like you’re doing okay, so this just caught me off guard and-“

“Just because I don’t fall apart every day doesn’t mean I’m fine!” Aaron runs a hand over his forehead and he starts to pace up and down the room. “Why can’t people accept the fact that I can’t just get over what happened? I’m never going to get over it! I was in love! I was married and I had a wife and I was going to be a father and-“

“Aaron, please, just take a deep breath, I-“

“I had a whole life!” Aaron shouts over Alexander’s pleas as he comes to a halt. “I had a whole life and then it was fucking ripped away from me in one night. How do I get over that? You know everything, right? So tell me how I move on from that? _How?_ ”

“I don’t know!” Alexander cries out, and Aaron notices the tears forming in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You don’t deserve what happened, no one does, and I’m so sorry, okay?”

“Then just drop it, okay? Drop it! I don't want to talk about it.” Aaron rubs a hand over his face again and closes his eyes. Alexander wasn’t supposed to find out, this wasn’t supposed to happen…none of this was supposed to happen.

“Does it make you feel better?” Alexander whispers, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“Going over to Mrs. Wilson’s and pretending. Does it really make you feel better?”

Aaron takes a deep breath and lifts his head back up. He knows the answer, but he doesn’t want to give it, he knows Alexander won’t understand. Nobody would, that’s why he has kept it a secret for three years. Alexander seems to know his answer though, because his face falls even more and he shakes his head.

“Then why do you do it if it doesn’t make you feel better? I still don’t understand! Why do you do that to yourself, why do you torture yourself by-“

“Because I deserve it!” Aaron shouts, finally letting the words fall from his lips. “Because I shouldn’t have gone out that night, or I shouldn’t have taken Theodosia with me! I shouldn’t have gone out driving! If I hadn’t, she would still be here, I would have a daughter, and we would still be a family! It’s my _fault!”_ Aaron’s voice cracks on the last word and it’s at that exact moment that he feels the tears on his cheeks.

He ducks his head and tries to take in a deep breath, but his chest feels so tight. He tries to turn away from Alexander, but then the other man is suddenly right in front of him again, and then his arms are around his neck, pulling Aaron down into a hug.

Aaron tenses for a moment, but then he feels as if all the emotions that have been building in him are quickly draining away, leaving him exhausted. He slumps into Alexander and wraps his arms around his waist, letting his head drop onto his shoulder. Aaron can’t stop the tears from continuing to fall, and he hiccups slightly and feels Alexander’s hands press a little harder against his shoulders.

Aaron’s not sure how long they stand there, but his breathing finally begins to slow down. Alexander’s arms are firm around him, grounding him, and Aaron lets himself relax further into the embrace.

“Aaron…” One of Alexander’s hands moves up to the back of his neck, and his fingers run soothingly across the skin. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, but I…I didn’t know that you were still so…I mean, I should have known, I’m sorry. I should have known you weren’t ok and-“

“It's not your job to know when I'm ok and when I'm not.” Aaron’s face is still pressed between the juncture between Alexander’s neck and shoulder, and his voice comes out muffled and hoarse. “You don’t need to apologize, you didn’t do anything.” Aaron takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“It's fine. I’m used to it, people seem to find yelling at me very cathartic. Besides, it kind of freaks me out how calm you always are, so this debunked my theory that you’re a robot.”

Aaron chuckles and lifts his head up. Alexander pulls his arms away slowly and allows him to step away. Aaron keeps his eyes on the ground, feeling too embarrassed to meet Alexander’s eyes; it’s been a long time since he’s lost control like this, and he doesn’t know what to do next. He doesn't even want to think. Luckily, he doesn’t have to, because Alexander reaches out and takes his hand.

“You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine.” Aaron hears himself say distantly, despite the growing pressure in his forehead.

“Mmm.” Alexander looks at him and then shakes his head before pulling him to the bedroom. “You should sleep, and not on the couch. Take the bed. Also tea, do you want some tea? I can make tea, I’ll go make tea.”

Aaron can’t help it; he smiles at Alexander and squeezes his hand.

“I don’t need tea, thank you though. And what about your conditions?”

“I think I can make an exception for one night. You deserve to sleep on a surface that won’t kill your neck tomorrow morning.” Alexander smiles crookedly at him, and Aaron lets the next words fall from his lips without really thinking about them.

“Just share it with me.”

“I…” Alexander makes a strange noise, which quickly turns into some sort of cough. “Uhm, are you sure?”

“Sure.” Aaron shrugs and flops down onto the bed, not having the energy to change out of his clothes. “As long as you aren’t a blanket hog.”

“No promises.” Alexander responds, and his voice wavers again. When Aaron looks over at him, his eyes are wide, but he quickly smiles and then sits gingerly on the bed before laying down on his side.

Aaron only hesitates a moment before scooting over to Alexander and pressing close to him. He pushes his face into his chest and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly when he feels one of Alexander’s arms wrap around his waist.

“Should’ve known you’d be a cuddler.” Alexander teases, his voice vibrating in his chest against Aaron’s ear.

Aaron just hums in response, not wanting to explain that he needs this right now; needs the warmth and the firmness of another person against him. Alexander starts to rub small circles onto the small of his back, and Aaron hums again, his eyes closing before he can even register that he’s drifting off to sleep.

-

When he wakes up the next morning, it takes Aaron a few moments to remember why there is an arm thrown over his side, why his head is tucked into someone’s neck, and why he feels so warm. Then, the memories of the previous night come rushing back.

Aaron keeps his eyes closed as he tries to keep his breathing steady. Last night had been a disaster. He still wishes Alexander hadn’t found out, but he also has to admit to himself that it was nice to have someone there to pull him back up when he crashed. He hasn’t had that in a long time.

He pulls away slightly and looks up Alexander, who is still sleeping next to him, his breathing slow. Aaron hasn’t had this in a long time either, the feeling of waking up with someone next to him. He almost thinks it’s nice, but then Theodosia’s eyes and her smile are flashing in his mind, and he feels something like guilt build inside him.

Aaron quickly rolls over onto his back and away from Alexander's warmth. His movements cause Alexander to begin to stir beside him. He blinks slowly as he wakes up, and Aaron feels suddenly nervous that he'll want to talk about last night again. But then he groans and rolls over onto his back as well.

“Coffee. Need coffee.”

“I can make you some.” Aaron starts to sit up despite his strong desire to stay in bed, but Alexander beats him to it and puts a hand on his leg.

“No, you stay in bed. I’ll make some. Then I’ll bring it to you, okay? We can just be lazy today. I’ll even watch one of your boring cooking shows with you. Just gimme a sec, I have to pee.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything, just watches Alexander as he slowly stands up and stretches. As he does, so many thoughts fly into is head at once, and each one is more surprising than the first. It’s nice, Aaron thinks, to have someone telling him to stay in bed all day. It’s also nice to have someone to spend that day with. Aaron realizes how much he likes having someone be there for him. He likes that that person is Alexander. Aaron closes his eyes as the next thought starts to form in his head. He  _likes_ Alexander.

“I want you to stay.” Aaron says the words quietly, and he opens his eyes to look at the ceiling. He holds his breath as he waits for Alexander to respond. When he doesn’t, Aaron glances over at him to see him staring back with a confused expression.

“I mean, I’ll be right back, I just really have to pee and-“

“No, Alexander.” Aaron huffs out a laugh as he sits up. He clears his throat and moves fingers to pick at the seam of his pants. “I mean, I want you to stay…like in my apartment. Or, I would like you to, if you want.”

“Oh… _oh_.” Alexander stares at him, his mouth hanging open slightly. Then he’s smiling, and it’s such a bright smile that Aaron feels his heart jump in his chest. “Yeah, I want to! Of course I want to! I’ll get the papers signed now and-“ Alexander turns in one direction, and then back again. “No! Pee first, then coffee, then the papers! Ok!” And he walks out of the room.

Aaron lies back down with a small smile and tries to push away the guilt that started to bubble under his skin as soon as he asked Alexander to move in with him. It doesn't mean anything, he thinks to himself sternly. And Alexander's response doesn't mean anything either. All of the glances and the touches don't mean anything. This doesn't mean that there's something between them. He sighs and rubs tiredly at his eyes, knowing that he's lying to himself. There _is_ something there, something between them that he can't ignore anymore. They aren't just friends. Friends don't just casually cuddle all night, friends don't take fake dating this far. This relationship, whatever it is, is something else.

What that something is, however, Aaron isn't sure. He doesn't know what he wants it to be, either. He _does_ know that the guilt of trying to move on from Theodosia will be too hard to push past, if all of this even gets to that point. But maybe he should try. Maybe Alexander does like him. Maybe he should take a chance and ask him out for real. Aaron sighs again and rolls over onto his side. 

He just hopes he isn’t in over his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Aaron, so confused with all these feelings. What do you think, is he gonna make a move next chapter and ask Alexander out on a real date? Or will something happen to make him reconsider? ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are appreciated, and comments are adored (for real, leave those comments, I love hearing what you guys think!) If you want to talk more, follow me @ fanciful-follies on tumblr! :)
> 
> Have a nice weekend!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fun and more angst!
> 
> ENJOY

Over the next week or so, Alex tries to be more aware of how Aaron is feeling. The guy is such a strong and silent type that it proves harder than Alex expects, but he’s determined to not overstep any more boundaries. He’s trying to be considerate, something he isn’t exactly used to doing.

But Aaron had looked so devastated that night they talked about the car crash, and Alex never wants to see him like that again. And then the next day Aaron had turned around and been so nice to him that Alex couldn’t even comprehend it at first. He asked Alex to move in with him officially, and Alex had walked around in a daze for the remainder of the week, not believing his luck.

He likes Aaron, he likes him so much, but he’d also been so stupid to think that he was ready to move on from losing his wife. Alex isn’t used to waiting, but he’s more than willing to wait until Aaron is ready, because he’s not letting the opportunity of eventually being able to date Aaron slip away from him.

So when Aaron brings up the fact that they haven’t gone on any of their agreed upon fake dates this week, Alex makes a decision.

“We don’t have to, you know.” He says as he puts his dishes in the dishwasher. When he turns to look back at Aaron, he’s staring at Alex with furrowed brows, his lips drawn in a tight line.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we don’t need to go on the dates if you don’t want to.” Alex repeats, smiling when Aaron continues to look at him in confusion. “I just thought they would be a fun thing for us to do, but if they make you feel weird we don’t have to do them. It’s really no big deal, I’m fine if we don’t do them.”

“Oh.” Aaron stares at him for a few moments, looking like he’s trying to decide whether or not he should say something. “Ok. Yeah. No big deal, then. Good, good…”

Alex raises his eyebrows at Aaron’s response, but doesn’t pursue the topic any further. He doesn’t want Aaron to feel like he has to try to convince himself to go on the dates. He wants him to see that Alex cares.

But when Aaron starts to act more distant over the next few days, Alex is a little confused, but tries not to think too much into it. Aaron’s probably just dealing with a lot of stuff at work and working hard, so Alex doesn't think too much about his behavior.

When he gets home one night, he finds Aaron sitting on the couch looking flustered. He looks up when Alex walks in and attempts to smile.

“That’s a sorry excuse for a smile.” Alex teases, closing the door behind him. “Bad day?”

“Not really, no.” Aaron says slowly, looking up at him. “Angelica talked to me today. She uh, asked me about us.” He gestures between himself and Alex. “Wanted to know how things were going.”

“And?”

“Well, I told her things were fine. And then she invited us to Thanksgiving dinner at her house.”

“Oh.” Alex hangs his coat up and turns back to Aaron, rubbing his hands on his pants as he thinks. Thanksgiving dinner. He's never been too into the holiday, never really saw the point of it. But if Aaron wants to go...“Well, it can’t be worse than thing with George and Samuel, right?”

“I don’t know.” Aaron smiles again, a real smile this time. “Thomas will be there as well, so…”

“I take it back then, this could be much worse.”

“You don’t have to do it if you want to, I can make up an excuse or-“

“No, no!” Alex walks over at sits next to Aaron on the couch. “I mean, this is the whole reason we’re doing this thing, right? Fake dating? So you can bring me to these events so Angelica will stop pestering you? I’m totally fine with going.”

“You’re…you’re sure? I know you haven’t wanted to go on the other fake dates lately, so…” Aaron sighs and then shrugs, not looking at him, “so I thought that maybe you didn’t want to do this anymore.”

“What? Aaron, no, I-“ Alex breaks off as his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. He takes it out and sees that Lafayette is calling him. Instead of answering, Alex switches his phone off and then looks back over at Aaron. “Listen, I’m more than happy to go, it’ll be fun. Besides, you let me sleep in your bed and haven’t made me do the laundry, so a deal is a deal, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Aaron lets out a short laugh, and Alex thinks he notices a sad tone to it, but then Aaron is shaking his head and smiling at him again. “A deal is deal.”

-

Thanksgiving rolls around faster than Alex anticipates, and he soon finds himself standing outside of Angelica’s house with Aaron at his side. They’re both staring at her door, neither moving forward to knock.

“You sure you want to do this?” Aaron asks for what must be the millionth time that day.

“I’m sure.” Alex nods, more as a way a way to convince himself. This is a daunting task; the other date had just been with two other people, people they didn’t really know. This was a dinner with all of their friends, who will probably be much harder to convince. “Who all did you say is coming?”

“All three Schuyler sisters, obviously, then Lafayette will be there with Peggy. Thomas and James are coming, and then I think Angelica said Eliza was bringing someone as well, I don’t know who though.”

“Ok.” Alex takes a deep breath and reaches for Aaron’s hand for both appearance and comfort. “Let’s do this.” He raises his other hand and knocks at the door. Seconds later, Angelica opens it with a wide smile.

“Aaron, Alexander!” She opens the door wider and ushers them inside. “I’m so glad you two could make it, I was worried that Aaron would weasel his way out of this like he does every other year.”

“Oh.” Alex looks over to Aaron, who is scowling down at the ground. “Well, I can be very persuasive.”

Angelica laughs and then motions for them to follow her further into the house. As she walks ahead of them, Alex takes the opportunity to lean over and whisper quickly to Aaron.

“Is this the first time you’ve done this since….?” Alex trails off, letting the sentence go unfinished. 

“Yes.” Aaron’s reply is short and tense, and Alex nods again, suddenly feeling much more pressure to make sure that this dinner goes well. He gives Aaron’s hand a tiny squeeze, and smiles softly when he gets a squeeze in return.

They reach the living room and Alex can’t help but roll his eyes when he sees who is standing there.

“Well, well, well.” Jefferson drawls, a smirk already on his face. “Look who it is. It’s been a long time, Hamilton.”

“Not long enough, if you ask me.” Alex responds with a smirk of his own, but Jefferson only laughs. “Where’s Madison? You two are still together right, or did he finally come to his senses and dump you?”

“Come on now, Hamilton, these insults are beneath you. James is in the kitchen helping set the table, bless his heart.” Jefferson’s eyes move over to where Alex and Aaron’s hands are still entwined. “I suppose congratulations are in order, although how you got so lucky I’ll never know. Maybe James and I will have to be the next double date for you and Aaron.”

“In your dreams.” Alex snaps back. When he glances over at Aaron, he’s glaring at Jefferson, and the two of them seems to have a silent conversation that ends with Jefferson shrugging and walking into the kitchen.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to fight him while we’re here.” Aaron asks in another whisper.

“No promises.” Alex responds with a shrug. “If he behaves, so will I. Now come on.” He leads Aaron into the kitchen and almost runs head first into Lafayette.

“Alexander! And monsieur Burr! So good to see you both.” He smiles briefly and then grabs Alex’s arm, looking suddenly serious as he leans to whisper in Alex’s ear “Alex, there is something you should know, I tried to call you before but-“

“Alexander!”

Lafayette jumps away from him as Eliza comes towards them, but Alex’s eyes go wide when he sees who is next to her, his arm wrapped around her waist.

“Hey, Alex.” Hercules says with a tentative grin, his eyes roaming nervously over Alex’s face. “I’m, uh, glad you guys came.”

“Yeah.” Alex’s voice comes out a little hoarse, and he squeezes Aaron’s hand a little tighter. “Yeah, I’m glad we could make it. So…so you two…” He waves his other hand at Hercules and Eliza, “you two are together? Like you’re dating and…and together?”

“Yes.” Eliza smiles and leans in closer to Hercules. “It’s only been official for about two weeks or so, but…” She breaks off with a happy shrug, and then disengages herself from Hercules when Angelica calls for her help.

Alex stares at Hercules in silence, trying to process the news. He feels like someone just poured ice water down his back. Lafayette shifts nervously next to him before apparently deciding he should leave, which he does with a brief glance at Hercules.

“Listen, Alex.” Hercules starts nervously. “I know it must be weird, but you said you didn’t mind if we dated, so I just….and now we are. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but-“

“It’s fine.” Alex says, trying to smile. He squeezes Aaron’s hand tighter. “Really, it’s cool. And you’re right, I said I wouldn’t mind, and I don’t. I think it’s great, really. It’s great.”

“Ok…ok, good.” Hercules nods at him and then turns around to go back to helping in the kitchen. Alex watches him go, narrowing his eyes when he places a hand on Eliza’s shoulder. It’s not like it does bother him, that they’re dating, because it doesn’t. It just caught him off guard.

“Uhm, Alexander?” Aaron’s voice brings Alex out of his own thoughts, and he looks over at him. “You’re kind of killing my hand.”

“Oh, sorry.” Alex drops Aaron’s hand and smiles apologetically at him. He can tell that Aaron wants to ask him about the exchange that just happened, but Alex just shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Ok everyone!” Angelica walks over to the table and places the last plate of food on its surface. “Take a seat!”

Alex sits down, Aaron on one side of him and Peggy on the other. He scowls when Jefferson and Madison sit across from him, and turns away with an angry huff when Jefferson winks at him. This is going to be a long couple of hours.

“Angelica, this looks amazing.” Madison says from his seat, smiling over at Angelica. “I really don’t know how you do this every year.”

“A lot of hard work, along with buying some of it pre-made, but that’s beside the point.” Angelica smiles at everyone. “Anyway, eat! Be merry!”

Everyone begins to pile food onto their plates, and Jefferson immediately engages Angelica and Aaron in a conversation about work, and Alex lets his attention wander. He glances over at Aaron, who is watching Jefferson talk with amusement written clearly on his face. Alex smiles to himself and then moves his eyes to look at Eliza and Hercules. Eliza is also watching Jefferson talk, but Hercules is looking at Eliza, a smile on his lips.

Alex clenches his jaw and looks down at a spot on the table in front of him. He really isn’t mad that Herc and Eliza are dating; he just has a hard time seeing others succeed where he failed. Eliza had been an amazing girlfriend, had always been there for him and never asked for much in return, but even then, Alex hadn’t been able to keep the relationship going for more than a few months before Eliza dumped him.

He can still remember what she had told him that day; _You’re so caught up in the future that you don’t take the time to appreciate what you have right in front of you. You’re always moving so fast and striving for more, for something better and that’s fine, I get that. But you neglect the people around you when all you think about is the future. You never slow down, and I’m done trying to keep up when you won’t even try to meet me halfway._

The thing is, Alex can’t even be mad about what Eliza said, because all of it was true, is probably _still_ true. He’s bad at slowing down and at taking things one day at a time; his mind just isn’t wired like that. Time just seems to go by so fast, and Alex doesn’t want to waste a moment of it.

Alex glances back over at Aaron and feels his heart clench. He doesn’t want to waste a moment with him either, but he’s caught in this struggle of wanting and waiting. He wants Aaron, wants to date him for real, but he also knows he should wait until Aaron is ready.

“Alex?”

“Huh?” He turns to look at Eliza, who is shaking her head in amusement.

“I asked how you and Aaron started dating? I only saw you briefly when you were leaving your double date, so I didn’t get the story.”

“I haven’t heard it either!” Peggy chirps in from his side.

“Oh, well it’s not really that exciting. I mean, it is, cause we’re dating, but the story isn’t great. I moved in next to him and yeah. I asked him out. Now we’re dating.” Alex takes a drink from his glass, shrugging his shoulders as he does. He’s not in the mood to tell an elaborate story.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Angelica leans forward in her chair and points at Aaron. “You told me that you asked him out.”

“Did I?” Aaron takes a sip from his own glass and then sets it back onto the table, his eyes cast down. “Maybe I confused it with our second date. I asked him to get dinner, but he asked me to a movie the first time.”

“I thought Alex asked you to dinner for your first date?” Lafayette asks, leaning around Peggy to look over at them. “That is what Hercules said Alex told him.”

“Oh, well, I mean.” Alex looks over at Aaron, who is staring back at him, but says nothing. “It all kind of blurs together, I guess. I asked the guy on like ten different dates before he said yes.”

“That I can believe.” Angelica says with a smirk. “Well, what was your first date? What did you guys do?”

Alex says “dinner” at the same time Aaron says “a movie” and this causes everyone to stare at them in confusion.

“It was dinner, then a movie.” Aaron says smoothly, taking a bite of his food. “The full first date experience.”

“What movie did you see?” Eliza asks, looking at Alex.

“Oh, uh, it was that one, that new one that was out, with the…the people. You remember which one, right Aaron?” Alex looks over at Aaron and raises his eyebrows, smirking slightly when Aaron shoots him a small glare.

“I can’t say that I remember the title.”

“How do you not remember your first date movie?” Lafayette asks with a dramatic gasp. “I remember mine and Peggy’s first date like it was yesterday. You two are just being bashful, tell us all the details.”

“Seriously, I’ve been waiting for Aaron to start dating for ages. Give us the inside scoop, leave nothing out.”

Alex looks back and forth between everyone at the table, Eliza and Angelica are staring back at him with expectant looks on their faces. Hercules winces at him in sympathy, but does not offer to help Alex dig his way out of the hole he created. When Alex glances at Jefferson, the man has a strange expression on his face, and then the next moment, Jefferson reaches a hand out for his drink but knocks it over, the contents spilling onto the table.

“Shit!” Alex jumps up as the liquid travels quickly to his side of the table, spilling onto his lap.

“Oops.” Jefferson says, not sounding sorry at all. He throws a napkin at Alex and then stands up himself and clears his throat. “I meant to take up my glass so I could make an announcement. I was going to wait until after dinner, but all this talk of romance and first dates made me not want to wait.” He looks down at Madison and takes one of his hands. “James and I are getting married.”

Alex’s jaw drops as everyone else lets out yells of surprise and excitement. Angelica stands up and hugs Jefferson, and suddenly everyone’s attention is on the newly engaged couple. Alex continues to stand as people begin to ask Jefferson to tell the story of how the proposal happened, but his ears don’t seem to be working. How the fuck is Thomas Jefferson getting _married?_

“Alex, are you going to sit down?” Aaron tugs gently on his sleeve, and Alex slumps back into his seat, not looking over at Aaron as he continues to let this news sink in.

The rest of the dinner goes by in a blur. Everyone is so excited by Jefferson and Madison’s engagement that no one pays much attention to anything else. Alex doesn’t talk much the rest of the time, mainly lost in his own thoughts. He hears Angelica ask Aaron if one of her friends, Maria Reynolds, had contacted him about her divorce case, but even then Alex doesn't feel like participating in the conversation. He just remains silent. Nobody seems to notice. Except Aaron.

He doesn’t say anything, but Alex can feel him looking at him every now and then, probably confused by his behavior, but Alex doesn’t feel like explaining. He doesn’t feel like explaining how shitty he feels seeing all of his friends, seeing Thomas fucking Jefferson, in happy relationships while he’s in a fake one. None of it seems fair.

After what seems like ages, Angelica stands and says that anyone who is able to is welcome to stay for more dessert and some games. Hercules, Eliza, Jefferson and Madison agree, but Alex stands and declines.

“I wish we could.” He lies, wanting nothing more than to leave. “But I have work in the morning, so we really should be getting home.”

“Ah yes.” Lafayette stands as well. “We will have a lot of work to do tomorrow, won’t we? Washington is giving us a lot to do on this new case. Being the leads is tough work, no?”

“You’re leading a case?” Aaron asks, his brows furrowed. “You never said.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Alex mumbles, shifting on his feet. Aaron continues to stare at him a moment before shrugging and turning away. They say their goodbyes and walk outside of the house with Peggy and Lafayette, who are also leaving.

“Where’s John at?” Alex asks Lafayette as they reach their cars. “Did he spend this Thanksgiving alone?”

“Did he not tell you? He has a date, I believe. Going out to some restaurant with a man he has been seeing for a few weeks.”

Lafayette’s words wash over Alex, and he can’t stop the bitter laugh that escapes him. Of course. Of course John is on a date. Everyone else in his life is happily dating someone, so it only makes sense that John is as well.

The ride back to the apartment is silent, but Alex can feel Aaron’s eyes on him again. He knows that Aaron is going to want to talk about tonight, and why Alex is acting so weird, but he still doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t even want to think about it. There’s a feeling of loneliness and desperation building inside of him, and he hates that feeling. It makes his skin crawl.

When they get back to the apartment, Alex heads straight for the bedroom. He just wants to sleep and forget about today. He wants to forget about the way Eliza looked at Hercules, they way Jefferson and Madison held hands, and the way that Aaron’s hand felt in his. He doesn’t want to remember any of it.

“Alexander?” Aaron’s voice is quiet behind him, but Alex doesn’t turn around, just kicks of his shoes and throws off his jacket. “Are you ok?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m good. Great. I’m great.”

“Ok..if you say so.”

Alex doesn’t say anything in return, and Aaron doesn't try to say anything else. He thinks that Aaron must have left the room, but when he turns around, he’s still there, staring at Alex with concern. For some reason, that makes Alex angry. He doesn’t want Aaron to look at him like that. It makes Alex want to kiss him, which is exactly what he's been trying to refrain from so Aaron doesn't feel pressured.

“I’m fine.” Alex snaps out with more anger than he means to when Aaron continues to just stare. He sighs and then shakes his head. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. Washington and Greene are giving Lafayette and me a lot of responsibility for this case. It’s just stressing me out, that’s all.” That’s not all, but Aaron doesn’t need to know that. He doesn't need to know how crazy he's driving Alex. 

Aaron nods and then steps closer to him, but Alex wishes he wouldn’t. He can feel his self-restraint slipping with each step that Aaron takes. He wants to kiss him so bad.

“You know you can tell me stuff like that.” Aaron says, looking Alex in the eyes. “About good stuff, like getting a lead on a case. It won’t make me upset. I want you to be happy, Alexander. You know that, right?”

Alex nods, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. He takes his own step forward until he’s standing right in front of Aaron. Sometimes he hates how nice Aaron is, because it makes him realize how lucky he would be to be actually dating him. God, he wants that so bad, wants Aaron so bad. He reaches out a hand and lets it rest on Aaron’s chest before sliding it down and stopping at his hip.

When he looks back up at Aaron, he’s watching Alex with dark eyes, and Alex feels his pulse jump. Aaron parts his lips like he’s going to say something, but Alex feels something inside him snap; he’s done waiting. He surges forward to capture Aaron’s mouth with his own.

Aaron starts in surprise and Alex starts to panic, but then his hands are cupping Alex’s face and he sighs against his lips. Alex’s head is spinning, and the first thought that enters his mind, after _HolyShitI'mKissingAaronBurr_ , is that Aaron’s lips are so soft, softer than he could have imagined.

The kiss starts out soft and slow, but that’s not what Alex wants. He digs his fingers into Aaron’s hips and bites down on his bottom lip, causing his mouth to drop open with a gasp. Alex swipes his tongue over Aaron’s lip and shivers when Aaron’s tongue meets his. This is everything he wanted, but still not enough at the same time.

He pushes his hands under the hem of Aaron’s shirt, and he can’t help but wonder how Aaron’s skin is so cool to the touch when Alex feels like he’s burning up. When Aaron’s hands travel to the back of his neck to tangle in his hair, Alex moans again and pushes his hips into Aaron’s.

That’s when Aaron pulls away, places his hands on Alex’s shoulders and looks at him, his eyes unreadable. Alex hates that there are times he can’t read Aaron, that there are so many parts of him he still doesn’t understand. He wants to understand everything.

“Alexander, slow down, we should...we should talk about this.”

“I’m sorry.” Alex says quickly, feeling a small amount of guilt join the emotions that are swirling inside him. He knows he shouldn’t push this, especially if Aaron doesn’t want to. “I just…seeing everyone tonight, everyone together and happy, it…” _it made me realize I want that with you_ , he thinks to himself. He needs to make Aaron understand. "It made me realize how much I miss being in a relationship and..." _and how much I want to ask you out on a real date._

Aaron is still staring at him with concern, a frown forming on his lips. Alex thinks he sees a flash of sadness flicker across his face, but then another emotion spreads across his face, one that Alex can’t decipher. He takes a fraction of a step back from Alex. 

“You’re lonely.” Aaron says the words as a statement, not a question, and it makes Alex laugh softly.

“I’m so damn lonely.” He agrees, resting his forehead against Aaron’s and taking a deep breath through his nose. “Everyone’s finding someone, and I’m….” _I’m too much of a coward to tell you how I feel_.

“I…I don’t want to do anything you’ll regret later, Alexander.”

“I need this Aaron. I need this.” _I need you_ , his mind supplies, but his mouth won’t form the words. “It’s been so long and…” _and you drive me crazy and I can’t wait anymore_. Alex tries to say the words out loud but something is holding him back. Words rarely fail him, but Alex doesn’t know how to say how much he wants Aaron. “I won’t regret this. Just…keep kissing me, please?”

That same, unknowable expression from before flickers briefly across Aaron’s face. Alex worries that he’s gone too far, freaked Aaron out, and he’s about to step away but then Aaron’s mouth is back on his, and he feels like he’s floating.

He sighs into the kiss and lets Aaron control the pace this time, content to just close his eyes and let himself be kissed. Aaron’s mouth is warm and firm against his own, and Alex thinks that he could do this for hours. Hell, he could do this for the rest of his life.

When Aaron’s hands tighten slightly on the front of his shirt, Alex presses closer to him without even thinking. He keeps kissing Aaron, coaxes his mouth open with his tongue until Aaron is breathing heavily and running his tongue across Alex’s teeth. The room feels like it's spinning, but Alex never wants it to stop. He wants to feel Aaron's mouth on his forever.

Alex is so lost in the heat of the kiss and the feeling of their tongues sliding together that he doesn’t notice Aaron’s hands moving until their slipping under his shirt and gripping his hips tightly. The feeling of fingers on his skin brings Alex down a little from the cloud he’s still floating on, makes him refocus on what’s happening.

He’s kissing Aaron. Aaron is kissing _him._

Alex is about to pull back, to say that maybe they should talk about this, to say that he’s so goddamn happy this is finally happening, but then Aaron’s hands are cupping his face again and pulling him even closer. Alex’s mind blanks as Aaron tilts his head and deepens the kiss even more.

The kiss continues, and Alex breathes in sharply when Aaron’s teeth sink gently into his bottom lip. The next second, Aaron’s tongue is running over the indents his teeth just left, and Alex can’t stop a moan from escaping his lips. Aaron’s hands go to his shoulders again, but this time he pushes him back until he’s crowding him against the wall, lips still on his.

He kisses Alex roughly, and Alex’s heart is pounding so hard that he thinks it’s going to burst from his chest. Aaron's lips are moving so nicely against his own, and Alex can't stop his hands from moving across his body, trying to map out where Aaron likes to be touched. He can’t believe this is happening, but he wants it to last forever. As soon as that thought passes through his mind, Aaron’s kisses start to slow down. He presses his lips to the side of Alex’s jaw, and then once more to his lips before he pulls away.

Once he does, Alex becomes aware of how heavy his breathing his, and he slowly opens his eyes to look up at Aaron. The man’s eyes are dark, and his chest is heaving with his own heavy breaths. His eyes roam over Alex’s face for a moment before he steps away.

“Do you feel better now?” He asks, his voice soft. Alex thinks that there is something in his voice that sounds wrong, something hollow, but Alex’s head is still spinning and he finds that he is suddenly too tired to try and figure out what it is.

“Yeah.” Alex’s voice is hoarse when he finally responds. He clears his throat tries to make eye contact Aaron, but he's staring determinedly at a point behind Alex's shoulder. Why won’t he look at him? Alex blinks heavily, trying to keep his eyes open. “Aaron…I-“

“I’m going to take a shower.” Aaron interrupts, passing a hand over his eyes and taking more steps backwards. “Let’s just…we can talk in the morning.”

Alex nods, figuring that Aaron just needs time to process what happened, which he can understand. Once Aaron leaves the room, Alex changes his clothes and falls onto the mattress with a huff. He's so tired, but he can't help but smile as he crawls under the covers.

He _kissed_ Aaron.

-

When Alex wakes up the next morning, Aaron isn’t next to him. In fact, he other side of the bed doesn’t even look slept in.

Alex sits up and rubs at his eyes, trying to wake himself up. He stands up and stumbles out into the other room with a single-minded focus of getting some coffee, but when he sees Aaron sitting on the couch, he stops in his tracks.

Aaron looks like he didn’t sleep all night, and he stands up quickly when he sees Alex walk in, his hands fidgeting at his sides.

“I need to talk to you.” He says, sounding serious.

“I…okay.” Alex responds, really wishing he had some caffeine in his system. He’s not good at early morning conversations.

“I just…” Aaron sighs and starts to pace up and down the room. “Everything you were saying last night, about being lonely and…and about how seeing everyone else together and happy made you upset, and then how it’s been so long since you’ve been with someone, I just…I’m sorry.”

“Aaron, what do you mean?” Alex isn’t following the conversation, doesn’t understand why Aaron is looking at him with a mixture of sadness and guilt. “What are you-“

“You can date other people.”

Aaron’s words catch Alex off guard, and he feels like someone just punched him in the stomach. He tries to say something, but his mind still isn't working. What is Aaron talking about? Alex doesn't _want_ to date other people, he wants to date Aaron. He opens his mouth say that, but Aaron cuts him off.

“I just mean…” Aaron sighs and shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you couldn’t see other people or…or try to find someone. I mean…it’s not like me and you are actually dating, right?”

“Right.” Alex responds, his voice sounding distant to his own ears. "Right."

"I just want you to know that it won't bother me if you see other people while we keep doing this fake dating thing. I'm totally fine with it."

"Good." Alex says, his voice suddenly sounding too loud for a normal conversation. His blood is pounding in his ears. "You don't mind, that's good. Ok. Good to know. Thanks for your permission." He turns away from Aaron and grabs his coat from where it's hanging by the wall."

"Alexander, wait." Aaron starts walking towards him, but Alex puts on his coat and opens the door. "You're still in your pajamas, what are you-"

"I have to go." Alex blurts out, needing to get away as soon as possible. "John and Herc, I told them I'd see them today." A lie. "I'll see you later." He walks outside and slams the door behind him, letting his head thump against it once it closes.

Aaron doesn't care if he dates someone, it wouldn't bother him, he's fine with it. He wants Alex to be happy. With someone else. Aaron doesn't care about him.

Alex is such an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh these boys, they still don't know how to communicate. Will they ever learn?
> 
> Kudos/comments/feedback are always appreciated. Seriously, comments keep me going guys, please leave some if you have the time! 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER 
> 
> Tbh not much happens in this one, it's mainly setting up what's gonna happen in the next one, but I still like it and hope you guys do too!

The last few days have been hell, and Aaron still doesn’t know what went wrong.

Alexander is rarely in the apartment anymore, and when he is, he ignores Aaron completely. He barely even _looks_ at him. Aaron doesn’t understand what has changed between them, but whenever he tries to talk to Alexander about it, the man looks like a deer caught in headlights and only mumbles out one-word responses. So after several futile attempts to figure out what's wrong, Aaron just stops trying.

They develop a new rhythm.

Alexander starts sleeping on the couch again. He also starts waking up earlier as well, earlier than Aaron, but that seemed to be the point; by the time Aaron is up and walking into the kitchen each morning, Alexander is already showered, dressed, and heading out the door with a cup of coffee in his hands.

It’s fine though, all of it is fine. So what if he doesn’t get to hear Alexander singing in the shower anymore? So what if he has to get used to drinking his coffee alone in the mornings? So what if he has to grow accustomed to the silence of his apartment again? He has done it before, he can do it again.

But he really doesn’t want to.

That’s what’s making this whole things so awful; Aaron has grown so used to Alexander’s presence, has come to enjoy it even, and he doesn’t want to adjust to Alexander being gone. He doesn’t want him to leave.

But no matter how hard Aaron tries to hold on, Alexander just keeps slipping away.

He starts staying at work late so he doesn't have to eat dinner with Aaron. And on the nights he can’t seem to persuade Washington to give him more work, he goes to stay with Laurens and Mulligan. Sometimes he doesn’t even tell Aaron where he is.

The first time that had happened, where Aaron hadn’t known where Alexander was, he had texted him repeatedly and stayed up waiting for him to return. And when Alexander finally stumbled back into the apartment, the stench of alcohol had accompanied him. Aaron had stepped forward to help him, asking where he had been, but then another scent floated through the room; the scent of perfume. Then Aaron saw the bite marks up and down Alexander’s neck and collar bone.

He stopped waiting up for him after that. Stopped asking where he’d been.

When Aaron told Alexander that he was fine with him dating other people, he had expected Alexander to be happy about it, especially after the way he had seemed so sad after the Thanksgiving dinner. He had told Aaron himself that he missed being in a relationship, so Aaron had just done what he thought Alexander wanted him to do. So if either of them should be upset, it should be Aaron.

He had been so happy when Alexander had finally kissed him. Whenever he closes his eyes, he can still feel Alexander’s lips on his, and the way his hands had felt on his skin. It still makes his heart beat rapidly in his chest. But then Alexander had started talking, had started saying that he’s lonely and how seeing everyone together and happy at the dinner had made him realize that he wasn’t happy.

Aaron had wanted to run out of the room right then. He can still remember how his stomach had dropped, and how his heart clenched. He was stupid to think that Alexander had kissed him because he actually liked him. He only kissed Aaron because he was lonely, and because Aaron was there. That’s all.

Looking back on it, Aaron knows that he should have just walked away and said goodnight after that. But Alexander had stared up at him with those eyes, begging him to keep kissing him, telling him that he needs it. And Aaron had been selfish, had pressed his lips back to Alexander’s because he knew it was the last time he’d be able to, and he wanted it so much.

Maybe that’s why Alexander is being so distant, because he regrets the kiss. Or he feels awkward about it. Whatever the reason is, it’s bothering Aaron. No, it’s driving him _insane._

Because insanity is the only explanation for why Aaron’s loneliness pushes him go see Thomas Jefferson of all people for advice. It’s the only explanation for why he is currently sprawled across Thomas’s couch, his face pushed into one of the pillows while Thomas sits at the chair across from him. It's the only reason for why he tells Thomas everything; about his freakout over the car crash, about asking Alexander to move in with him permanently, about the kiss, about the fight after the kiss, he spills everything.

“Ok, just tell me one more time, you did what now?”

“I told you twice already.” Aaron sighs and rolls over onto his back. “I kissed Alexander.”

“On the mouth?”

“Yes?”

“Voluntarily?”

“ _Yes_ , Thomas.”

“But…why?” Thomas grimaces and then shakes his head. “Like, no offence, but Hamilton? Ew. What possessed you to do that?”

“I don’t know!” Aaron throws his hands up in exasperation and struggles into a sitting position, clutching a pillow to his chest. “To be fair I didn’t initiate it.”

“But you didn’t stop it?”

“No. No, I didn’t stop it.”

“And now Hamilton is mad at you?” Thomas asks. When Aaron nods, Thomas leans back in his chair and taps his long fingers on the armrest. “Interesting. You a bad kisser?”

“I’m afraid I can’t really be the judge of that.” Aaron responds with a roll of his eyes. He really shouldn’t have come to Thomas for help. “And before you even say it, no, I will not kiss you so you can find out.”

“Aaron, you forget, I’m an engaged man now. I can’t just go around kissing other men. But if I wasn’t engaged, well...” Thomas winks at him and laughs when Aaron groans. “Please, you know you want a piece of this.”

“No, I really don’t.”

“To be fair, you kissed Hamilton and therefore must have pretty bad taste, so I’m not too offended by that response.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron leans back in the couch and runs a hand over his eyes. “When is James getting back? I should have just talked to him instead.”

“You offend me.” Thomas says, putting his hand to his chest in a mocking gesture. “Ok, fine. I just have one more question for you, and then I’ll start giving you some words of wisdom. Fair?”

“Fine.”

“Was Hamilton a good kisser?”

Aaron throws the pillow he’s clutching at Thomas and smiles smugly when it hits him square in the face with a satisfying thump. He laughs loudly when Thomas hurls it back, successfully dodging it as it hits the back of the couch next to him. As his laughs start to subside, Aaron continues to smile at Thomas. This is why he came to Thomas, he thinks to himself, because he always knows how to make him smile, even if his advice is shitty.

“You throw a pillow at my face again, and I’ll throw you out of here on your ass.” Thomas says, but the corners of his lips are turned up in a smile. “And that would be a shame, since you still haven’t heard my advice on the whole situation.”

“Just get on with it, Thomas.”

“Alright. Alright.” Thomas crosses his legs and spreads his arms, a smirk starting to spread across his face. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious why Hamilton has his panties in a twist over this whole thing. He likes you, like...really _really_ likes you.”

Aaron opens his mouth and then closes it, choosing to sit in silence as he lets Thomas’s words wash over him. How could Alexander like him? His recent behavior definitely doesn’t show that. There’s just no way…

“Alexander does not like me.” Aaron finally says with determination. “It doesn’t make sense. Why would he act the way he is if he likes me and-“

“Probably for the same damn reason that you’re acting the way you are.” Thomas interrupts, raising his eyebrows. “Because you’re both head over heels for the other and are too emotionally constipated to say so.”

“I am not…no, that’s, I mean I’m…” Aaron continues to splutter as Thomas just watches him with an ever widening smirk. “I am not head over heels for Alexander.” It had just been a small crush, that's it. And he can get over it, he _will_ get over it. 

“Aaron, come on. You come over hear looking like you just saw a puppy die, and then you start moaning about how Hamilton won’t talk to you anymore like a lovesick teenager. It’s pretty clear you’re in love with the guy.”

“I’m not in love with him.” The words come out harsher than Aaron means them too, and he bites the inside of his cheek after, trying to tamper down the swirl of anger and guilt building inside of him. He’s not in love with Alexander, he can’t be. He's not ready for that.

Thomas stands up from his chair and walks over to the couch, only hesitating for a moment before he sits down in the space next to Aaron. He takes a deep breath and then starts to speak, looking down at his hands while he does.

“Aaron, listen. We’ve been friends for a while, right? Like almost eight years of friendship, and that’s rare for me. But I like you, and I _know_ you. Now, I never thought these words would come from my mouth, and if you repeat them I will deny saying them, but I think Hamilton is good for you, and I think that you deserve to be happy.”

“I know I do, Thomas, I just-“

“Do you?” Thomas turns slightly to look directly at him. “Cause it seems like you don’t. I’m not saying you need to marry the guy, god forbid, but it’s ok if you like him, Aaron. It’s ok.”

Now Aaron is the one looking down at his hands. He knew that this topic was going to come up, but he still isn’t ready to talk about it, to talk about moving on from Theodosia. Despite what everyone keeps telling him, Aaron does know, on some level at least, that he deserves to be happy. He knows it’s ok to move on, but part of him is scared to. He’s scared that moving on will make him lose Theodosia even more than he already has.

“Well it really doesn’t matter anyway.” Aaron says finally, clearing his throat. “Because there’s no way Alexander likes me. I told you that he didn’t even want to go on fake dates with me, and now he’s off sleeping with other people, so.”

“I swear to God.” Thomas rolls his eyes. “You are so dense sometimes. You told me Hamilton said no to the dates after you two had the conversation about the car crash, right? And after you told him that you couldn’t move on from Theodosia? The guy was trying to be considerate. Granted, he hasn’t had a lot of practice in that area, but he was trying to not push you to do something you weren’t ready for.”

“Then why didn’t he just say that?” Aaron asks, still not believing Thomas. “No, he doesn’t like me, and I just have to accept that.”

“Honestly, a week ago, I would have agreed with you. But when you two came to the Thanksgiving dinner holding hands, y’all actually looked like a couple, and acted like one.”

“Well that’s kind of the point of our whole fake dating arrangement.”

“Aaron.” Thomas takes another deep breath and looks him straight in the eye. “The guy likes you. He had the dopiest smile on his face whenever he looked at you during dinner. I half expected him to jump on you right then and there. Just talk to him about it! I promise you I'm right. As usual.”

“I’ve tried to!” Aaron crosses his arms in frustration. “He won’t talk to me. And he’s too busy going on real dates with other people to talk to me anyway, because he _doesn’t_ like me! Why else would he be going on all these dates?”

“Because you told him to! You told him he could date other people and that probably made him freak out cause it made it seem like you don’t like him. So just talk to him! Talk, explain and then ask him out! Clear things up and I guarantee Hamilton will be all over you again.”

Aaron scoffs and shakes his head. He already tried talking to Alexander, it didn't work. Aaron had laid all his cards on the table; he asked Alexander to move in with him, asked him out on fake dates that were actually real dates, which Alexander had refused, _and_ Aaron had willingly kissed him back. Aaron thinks that he made it pretty damn clear that he likes Alexander. But Alexander doesn't like _him_. So whatever.

"Aaron..." Thomas is looking at him again, a stern look on his face. "Just promise me you'll try to talk to him again. Promise?"

"I'm not twelve, Thomas, I'm not promising you anything."

"So describe the kiss to me, was there tongue? Is Hamilton a biter? I always thought he would be a-"

"Oh my _God_." Aaron groans and rests his head in his hands. "Ok, alright! You win. I promise I will try to talk to Alexander again. Now, if you'll excuse me," Aaron stands up from the couch, "I should leave before I'm tempted to punch you in your face."

"You're welcome for all the advice." Thomas says with another smirk as he looks up at Aaron. "And just so you know, once you fix everything with Hamilton, I will tease you endlessly for falling for such an asshole. And there will definitely be a double date with me and James in your future."

"Fuck off, Thomas."

-

When Aaron gets home later that night, Alexander is sitting on the couch with his laptop resting on his legs. He doesn’t even look up when Aaron walks in, which makes Aaron clench his jaw in frustration.

Aaron hangs up his coat and toes off his shoes, not wanting to drag snow into the apartment. When he’s done, he looks over at Alexander, who is still staring determinedly at his laptop screen. Remembering his promise, Aaron takes a deep breath and then walks over to him.

“Hey.” He shifts on his feet when Alexander doesn’t say anything back, just gives him a small wave with his hand without looking at him. “Uhm, how was your day?”

“It was fine.”

“Good…” Aaron waits to see if Alexander is going to say anything else, and when he doesn’t, Aaron starts to turn away, figuring he’s fighting a lost battle, but then he stops, Thomas’s words ringing in his ears.

_Talk, explain, and then ask him out._

“I…uh.” Aaron takes another deep breath and wills himself to keep going. “I thought we could hang out tonight, watch a movie or something? We can even eat hot pockets if you want to, and…” He trails off as Alexander slowly looks up at him.

“Why?”

“I just thought it would be fun and we could-“

“I can’t.” Alexander shuts his laptop and stands, back to not looking at Aaron. “Maybe another time.”

“Alexander, I really need to talk to you about-“

“I have a date.” Alexander cuts him off and grabs his phone from the side table. “So I can’t. I have to go so I’ll see you later.”

Aaron continues to stand by the couch as Alexander starts to gather his things, and he feels his temper slowly starting to rise. Why can’t Alexander just listen to him for once? He’s trying so hard to fix things. But maybe Alexander doesn’t want to fix this. Maybe he’s happier without Aaron in his life.

“Can you try to get back at a reasonable time?” Aaron asks, his voice sounding cold even to his own ears as he turns to look at Alexander. “You make a lot of noise when you come in, and it wakes me up.”

“I’m gonna be out late, so just use the earplugs I got you.”

“I don’t have them anymore.” A lie. They’re sitting in the drawer of his bedside table.

“Well, then too bad.” Alexander starts to pull on his jacket, his jaw clenched. “Or you know what, I’ll just crash at Herc and John’s tonight, so don’t worry about me coming back at all.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Alexander glares at Aaron as he puts a hat on, pushing it back up when he pulls it too far down his face. “In fact, maybe I’ll ask them if I can move back in, so I stop bothering you all together.”

“Do whatever you want.” Aaron responds with a shrug, despite the way his stomach drops at Alexander’s words.

“I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!” Alexander’s shout bounces off the walls, and then he wrenches the door open and lets it slam behind him as he walks out without glancing back at Aaron.

Once he’s gone, Aaron brings his hands up to his face, and stands there alone in the silence.

-

Since Alexander stays out all night and doesn't return in the morning, Aaron has to call Angelica for a ride to work. Snow is starting to fall outside, so there’s no way he’s going to walk. He listens to Angelica talk about her weekend with a detached smile, praying that she won’t ask him about Alexander. He doesn’t think he can muster up the energy to tell a convincing lie about how well they’re doing.

The work day seems to drag on forever, and Aaron’s mood slowly worsens. He doesn’t talk much to anyone, just smiles and nods when Thomas attempts to strike up a conversation, and says he’s only tired when Thomas asks what’s wrong.

That’s not really a lie, Aaron _is_ tired. He had barely slept last night, couldn’t stop his mind from replaying his and Alexander’s fight from earlier. Would Alexander really move out? Is whatever relationship they had gone forever? Aaron doesn’t think he can handle that, being alone in his apartment all over again.

Eventually, the workday comes to a close and Aaron starts packing up his things. He looks over to Angelica’s desk and swears under his breath; he’d forgotten that she had left early. Now he doesn’t have a ride, Thomas and James had left before him too. He reaches into his pockets and swears again when he realizes that he had left his wallet at home as well. That means no money for a cab either.

Aaron looks over at the window and sees snow falling, much heavier than in the morning. He only hesitates slightly before pulling out his phone and texting Alexander.

     5:30 >>> _Hey, could you pick me up from work?_

Aaron sighs and sits back down at his desk chair. He places his phone on the desk so he can see when Alexander responds. Ten minutes go by, then twenty, then thirty. Aaron tries to call Alexander, but only gets his voicemail. He waits another thirty minutes before gathering his things up and walking outside.

The snow is falling in big clumps, already starting to soak through Aaron’s coat after just a few minutes. He hadn’t dressed warmly enough for this kind of weather, but he shoves his hands in his pockets and starts to walk anyway.

He knows that he could probably just call Angelica or Thomas and they would come get him, but that means he would have to explain to them why Alexander didn’t pick him up, and he’s really not in the mood for that.

He had tried talking to Alexander, and had failed miserably. It’s clear that Alexander isn’t interested in trying to fix their relationship, so fine. Why should Aaron keep putting so much effort into it? If Alexander is ok with letting their friendship go that easily, then fine. It’s fine.

Aaron scowls as he continues to trudge through the snow. He can feel his shoes starting to get wet, the snow seeping in through them and causing his feet to quickly grow cold. He pulls the collar of his jacket up and tucks his chin down to his chest, attempting to keep his ears warm. The wind starts to pick up, and Aaron pushes his hands further into his pockets.

He knows he’s being stupid by not calling anyone to pick him up, but there’s something satisfying about walking home in the snow. The wind is piercing, making him shiver, but it blocks all other thoughts from his mind. And the swirling of the snow forces him to focus on where he’s stepping. It’s a nice distraction, Aaron thinks, even when he begins to shiver uncontrollably. 

It takes him over an hour, but Aaron finally makes it home. Once he’s inside, he quickly sheds his jacket, letting it fall onto the floor with a wet plop. Next, he kicks off his shoes and peels off his socks, which are completely soaked through.

The apartment is quiet, a sure sign that Alexander isn’t home. Before moving any further, Aaron takes out his phone. When he sees that there’s still no reply from Alexander, he tosses his phone on the floor next to his jacket, not caring when it hits the ground with a loud smack. If no one’s answering him, then what’s the point of having his phone anyway? It can break for all he cares, it doesn’t matter.

Still shivering, he makes his way into his bedroom and changes into a pair of sweatpants and a dry t-shirt before climbing under his covers, wrapping them tightly around him in search of heat. It’s only a little after eight, but Aaron is suddenly exhausted. He huddles further under his covers and closes his eyes, feeling the start of a headache coming on.

Despite his exhaustion, it seems to take him ages to fall asleep, and he alternates between feeling too cold and too hot. He drifts in and out of consciousness, his headache only growing worse. As Aaron continues to toss and turn, he can't stop himself from wishing that Alexander was here next to him, with his arms wrapped around him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that's right, get ready for the sick fic portion of this to begin next time.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you all for taking the time to read this fic. Like...it has over 300 kudos and just WOW I am so grateful that you guys read this and like it. As always, kudos/feedback is greatly appreciated, and I live to read your comments, so keep 'em coming if you have the time!
> 
> If you want to, follow me on tumblr @fanciful-follies, and message me privately if you want the name of my main blog! Thanks again!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W O W this is a long one, but I also think it will make all of you happy :)
> 
> Enjoy x

It’s almost seven in the morning when Alex finally makes it back to the apartment. He had stayed the night with John and Herc, not feeling like going back home, if he can even call Aaron’s apartment home anymore. It’s not like things between them have been going well. Things had been tense lately, more than tense. Alex already felt on edge around Aaron because of the kissing incident, and whenever Aaron tried to talk to him about it, Alex’s nerves would only get worse. He just can’t talk about it, doesn’t want to think about that night ever again.

That kiss had been _everything_ , it had been perfect. But now Alex knows that Aaron had just kissed him back out of pity, not because he actually liked him, and Alex doesn’t want to have to think about. It’s easier to just go out and try to forget about it, to forget about Aaron.

When Alex unlocks the door and steps inside, he stumbles slightly over something on the floor. Looking down, Alex is surprised to see that it’s Aaron’s jacket he tripped over, because Aaron never leaves his jacket on the ground, and he always yells at Alex whenever he leaves his jacket there.

Alex is still staring down at the jacket in confusion when he hears the sound of coughing coming from Aaron’s room. It seems to go on and on, and Alex finds himself wincing in sympathy. It starts up again, sounding worse than before. Despite not wanting to face Aaron after their last fight, Alex figures he should at least check and see if Aaron is ok...

Sighing heavily, Alex makes his way over to Aaron’s bedroom, knocking lightly on the door before entering. When Alex walks in, he can see Aaron’s form wrapped under a pile of blankets on the bed.

“Aaron?” Alex walks into the room a little further, and when Aaron doesn’t respond, he clears his throat loudly. “Are you ok? You, uh, you should wake up. You have work in like half an hour…so…”

Aaron still doesn’t respond. In fact, he doesn’t even move, which is strange since he is normally such a light sleeper. Starting to get a little concerned, Alex makes his way over to the bed, but his feet catch on something, causing him to stumble.

He looks down to see another article of Aaron’s clothing on the floor. Alex leans down to pick it up, growing even more confused when he realizes that it’s wet. He looks around the rest of the room to see even more clothing scattered around the floor. He starts to pick the clothing up, each piece just as wet as the other. Finally, the reasoning behind all of this hits Alex.

He remembers Aaron’s text asking Alex to pick him up from work, remembers how hard it had been snowing yesterday.

“Shit.” Alex drops the clothing back onto the floor and rushes to the bed. “Shit, shit, shit. Aaron?” He reaches out and tugs the blankets down slightly so he can see Aaron. “Shit!”

Aaron’s skin is glistening with sweat, and the thin t-shirt he has on is completely drenched. Alex reaches his hand out to touch Aaron’s forehead, and he swears under his breath again when he feels how hot it is. He’s burning up.

“Aaron? Aaron can you hear me?” Alex bites his lip in concern when all Aaron does is let out a small whimper and shift restlessly on the bed. His eyes are moving rapidly under his eyelids, and his breathing is coming in short bursts.

Alex stands there, frozen in panic, and for a moment, he’s that thirteen year old kid watching his mother fight for breath as he clutches her hand. But he shakes himself from that memory and takes out his phone, dialing quickly and feeling a tiny sense of relief when a voice answers after a few rings.

“John! I need you to come over right now.”

“What? Alex, I can’t, I’m already at work and-“

“Aaron is sick, like really sick and I don’t know what to do.” Alex starts explaining in a rush. “He’s really out of it and won’t even respond to me and it’s my fault cause I made him walk home in the snow and you’re a nurse so can help him and I really can’t do this alone ok I need you to come over right now and help him and-“

“Slow down, Alex.” John sighs before continuing. “I can’t come over, I’m sorry, but I can’t. But I'll try to help, alright? Can you tell me what’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know. He…he probably has a fever…he definitely feels warm, but he’s shivering, and his shirt is soaked through and he…” Alex swallows and passes a hand over his eyes. “He’s really out of it, John. I don't know what to do.”

“Ok, ok. I want you to take his temperature and then tell me what it is."

“Ok, hold on…” Alex walks into the bathroom, rummaging around until he finds a thermometer in Aaron’s medicine cabinet. He goes back into the bedroom and slips it under Aaron’s tongue. It beeps a few moments later, and Alex quickly removes it and looks down at the numbers flashing on the front.

“It’s 102 degrees.” Alex says, his voice sounding panicked even to his own ears. "That's bad right?"

“It could be worse." John reassures him from the other end. "He probably has the flu though.”

“You’re sure that’s all it is?” Alex shifts nervously on his feet. “It’s not anything more serious?”

“All the signs point to the flu. Plus it’s been going around lately, I had it a week ago myself.”

“Did him walking home in the snow get him sick?” Alex asks, his voice breaking slightly. “Is it my fault?”

“No. You can’t actually get sick from just being out in the cold, but it definitely affects your immune system. Does he have Dayquil and NyQuil?"

"Yeah, he does." Alex responds, remembering seeing some in the cabinet along with the thermometer.

"Good. Give him that every five hours or so. Just keep him hydrated and let him sleep it off. Also, change his shirt and get a cold washcloth to put on his forehead, alright? I have to go, but call me if you need anything else."

Alex hangs up and pockets his phone before turning his attention back to Aaron. The man has huddled back under the blankets, his face pressing against the pillow as his body starts to rack with shivers.

Trusting that John knows best, Alex crosses the room to Aaron’s dresser, pulling out another t-shirt. He goes back over to Aaron and presses a hand to his shoulder, feeling it shake under his fingers.

“Aaron? Hey, can you sit up, please?” Alex presses harder against his shoulder until Aaron is on his back, a groan escaping his lips at the movement. “Come on, Aaron. Just sit up for me, just for a second.” Alex tries to keep his voice from shaking with worry as Aaron continues to not respond to him. He doesn’t know what to do.

But then Aaron cracks open his eyes, and Alex lets out a shaky breath and tries to smile at him. However, his smile falters when it soon becomes clear that Aaron is still in daze, because he’s looking up at Alex with unfocused eyes, not recognizing him.

“Aaron.” Alex tries again. “Can you sit up? I need to change your shirt.”

“Tired.” Aaron croaks out, his voice so quiet that Alex has to lean forward to hear him. “Tired…”

“You can sleep after we change your shirt, I promise. Just…” Alex reaches out his other hand and somehow manages to get Aaron to sit up, even if it ends with the other man leaning his entire weight against Alex’s side. Alex quickly tugs his shirt off and struggles to put the other one on, since Aaron seems unable to even lift his arms. He gets it on eventually, and then props up some pillows behind Aaron so he can sit up comfortably, and he leans back against them with another groan that makes Alex’s heart clench.

Remembering what John had said about getting Aaron to drink something, Alex heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but pauses when he sees Aaron's phone on the floor next to his coat. He picks it up again and scrolls through the contacts until he finds Angelica’s number. He types out a quick text telling her that Aaron is sick and won’t be at work before continuing into the kitchen.

When he walks back into the bedroom, Aaron is sitting against the pillows with a pained expression, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Alex rushes over and sets the glass down on the end table before turning to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hurts…”

“What hurts?” Alex asks, and he feels like screaming when all Aaron can do in response is let out a small whimper. He hates this, hates not knowing what to do or how to help. He feels so helpless. Aaron groans again, and that spurs Alex into action.

He goes into the bathroom to find the DayQuil and then opens the box quickly as he walks back over to Aaron's side.  Aaron blinks up at him as Alex takes out one of the pills and holds it out in front of him.

“You need to take some medicine, ok? And then I’ll let you sleep.” Alex puts the pill in Aaron’s hand and makes sure Aaron brings it to his mouth before handing him the glass of water to chase it down with. Once he’s done, Alex rearranges the pillows and helps Aaron lay back down.

He seems to fall asleep almost immediately, leaving Alex to stare down at him with concern still swirling in his stomach. He knows it’s stupid, knows it can’t be as serious, but Alex can’t help but think of his mother’s illness and how weak she had been. But he shouldn’t compare that to this, Aaron is going to be fine. He has to be fine...he _will_ be fine. 

Alex stands there and watches Aaron for a few more minutes before deciding that he should keep himself busy instead of standing there feeling useless. He starts with the kitchen, taking the clean dishes and putting them away before loading it back up with dirty dishes. Then he clears up the living room, throwing away garbage and straightening up the magazines and newspapers that are scattered around the room. When he's finished with that, Alex folds the blankets that had fallen off of the couch and places them on it in a neat pile.

Needing something else to do, Alex walks over to the bookshelf in the room, and decides to rearrange all the books so they're in alphabetical order. It takes him a long time, but he's happy for the distraction, even though he stops his work every now and then to listen for any noises of distress coming from the bedroom. 

He finishes up the bookshelf and then figures he should get the wet clothes from Aaron's room and wash them. He's gathering the rest of Aaron’s dirty clothes into a hamper when he hears a faint rustling coming from the bed behind him.

“Alexander?”

Alex jumps up at the voice and whips around to see Aaron struggling to sit up. He rushes over to his side immediately and presses a hand to his forehead. Still warm, but definitely not as hot as it had been that morning. He sits down on the edge of the bed beside Aaron.

“Do you need anything?” Alex asks as Aaron manages to sit all the way up on his own. “How are you feeling?”

“I…” Aaron looks around the room in confusion, and then brings his eyes up to meet Alex’s. “I’m…sick?”

Alex doesn’t know why that strikes him as funny, but he starts laughing and reaches his arms out to wrap Aaron in a hug, letting his head rest on his shoulder. A hiccup interrupts his laughter, and Alex suddenly finds himself blinking rapidly.

“Yeah.” He chokes out over another hiccup. “You’re sick.” He pulls back from Aaron, who is now looking even more confused.

“But you…why are you here?” Aaron’s words come out slowly and slightly slurred, a sign that his mind still isn’t very clear, but his question causes another pang of guilt to spread across Alex’s chest.

“I’m here to take care of you.” Alex whispers, and then Aaron starts to cough. He lies back down with a tiny groan, but attempts to keep his eyes open and on Alex. “I can take you to the doctor if you want, John said-“

“No, no doctors. No.”

“Aaron, are you sure, you-“

“No!” Aaron’s response comes out harsh, and it causes him to cough again. “N-no. Please, don’t wanna go to the hospital. Don’t take me, don’t-“ He coughs even harder, his body shaking.

Alex grabs the water that is still on the table and holds it out to Aaron, who takes a small sip once he manages to catch his breath. He looks up at Alex with miserable, terrified eyes, and Alex tries to smile reassuringly.

“Ok, hey, it’s ok. We can stay here. Just, lemme see what we’re dealing with.” He takes out the thermometer that John left and places it under Aaron’s tongue. It beeps a few moments later and Alex frowns when he sees that the temperature reads 100 degrees. Better than before, but still not good.

Alex stands up from the bed, which causes Aaron to let out a small whimper. He goes into the bathroom to find a washcloth, and runs it under some cold water before returning to Aaron’s side. Alex gets him to take more medicine and places the washcloth on his forhead. He’s turning to walk back out of the room to let Aaron sleep when a hand is suddenly wrapping around his wrist, stopping him.

“Will you…” Aaron shifts on the bed and clears his throat, “can you stay? Don’t want to be…just, stay?”

Alex hesitates a moment, but then he nods and climbs onto the bed to sit next to Aaron. He stretches his legs out and leans back against the headboard. He expects the other man to just go back to sleep, but is surprised when Aaron scoots closer to him and rests head on his thigh. He can feel him shivering again.

“You’re ok.” Alex says, feeling a lump rising in his throat. He presses the washcloth onto Aaron’s head with one hand, and wraps his other around his shoulders. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Aaron presses his face harder into Alex’s leg, and lets out a small pained noise from the back of his throat. Alex rubs his upper back, trying to calm him down.

“Don’t leave.” Aaron mumbles after a few moments, his words followed by another short cough. “Didn’t mean to make you mad….don’t want you to leave again…want you to stay, I'm sorry for kissing you, I just…couldn’t help it because I...and then you...want you to stay here, don’t leave.”

“Shh, Aaron.” Alex rubs his back harder, trying to keep him from getting too worked up, especially when he should be resting. “I’m not going anywhere, ok? Just try to go to sleep.”

“You said you were going to leave.” Aaron continues, and when Alex looks down at him, he’s shocked to see tears falling down his cheeks. “Told me you were going to move out. I was just trying to make you happy, even though I…” Aaron sniffs loudly and nuzzles against his leg. “Don’t want you to go…please don't, because I...”

“I’m staying right here.” Alex reassures him, not knowing what else to say. He doesn’t understand why Aaron is so flustered or what he's trying to communicate; it must just be the fever. “Just try to relax, Aaron. I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

Aaron falls asleep quickly after that, his breathing evening out after a few minutes. Alex gently runs the washcloth over his forehead a few times as he thinks about what Aaron had just said. What did he mean he couldn’t help it? Does that mean he actually wanted to kiss Alex? Then why had he…

Alex sighs and leans his head back against the headboard, closing his eyes. It’s all too much to think about right now, so he pushes the thoughts away.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but all of a sudden Alex is jolting awake as he hears someone knocking at the front door. He slowly get up from the bed, doing his best not to wake Aaron, but the other man begins to stir anyway, letting out a soft sigh as he rolls onto his back.

Alex rubs at his eyes as he walks over to the door and opens it, and he’s surprised to see Angelica standing on the other side with a cup of tea in one hand, and a small bag in the other.

“How is he?” She asks as she pushes past Alex, concern written clearly across her face. “I know how much he hates being sick, is he ok? I brought some tea and some food from the café down the street. Is it ok if I go see him?”

“He’s just waking up but yeah you can-“ Alex is cut off as Angelica nods and then is pushing past him again, heading straight for the bedroom. Alex considers following her, but then his stomach rumbles, and he realizes that he hasn’t eaten anything all day.

So he busies himself by making a sandwich, and he’s just finishing up when Angelica exits the bedroom, her mouth drawn in a tight line, which make Alex raise his eyebrows.

“Everything ok?” He asks around the bite of bread in his mouth.

“He’s fine. He’s awake and eating the muffin I brought.” She takes a long look at Alex. “What’s been going on with you two?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s been happening to make Aaron so miserable these past few days? He might not tell me something is wrong, but he’s my best friend, and I can tell. So what’s been going on?”

“I…it’s nothing.” Alex mutters as he swallows his food, not wanting to get into this with Angelica. “We’ve just…we got into a small fight. It’s fine. We’re…fine.” He really hopes they’re fine, but he honestly has no idea at this point.

“You’re an awful liar.” Angelica says, walking closer to where he’s sitting. “And listen to me, if Aaron isn’t talking to me about something, it’s because he’s really upset by it, so whatever happened between you two, you need to fix it, or stop messing around with him.”

“I’m not messing around with h-“

“No, _listen to me_ , Alexander. Aaron has been through too much to be treated poorly, so don’t make the same mistake with him that you made with my sister. I know how you are when you date; I got all the details from Eliza. So if you neglect Aaron, and make him feel like you don’t need him, I’ll kick your ass myself.”

Alex opens and closes his mouth as Angelica continues to stare at him with a hardness in her eyes.

I’m…I’m not trying to make him upset.” Alex finally responds, gathering himself. But as soon as he says those words, he realizes they aren’t exactly true. Not picking Aaron up from work had been a deliberate move to hurt him. God, he’s such an asshole.

“Just fix it, Alexander.” Angelica says softly, seeming to read the thoughts going through his head. “I don’t think I need to tell you that Aaron has a fear of people leaving and not coming back. So just be there for him.” She turns and walks over to the door, stopping for a moment and looking back at him. “He likes you, he likes you a lot, I can tell. But he’s worried you’ll leave. So just…don’t mess it up, or-“

“You’ll kick my ass?” Alex offers with a tight smile, and Angelica smiles back. “Yeah, I got it. I’ll…I’ll talk to him.”

Angelica closes the door, and Alex stands up from his seat. He makes his way back into the bedroom to check on Aaron, and smiles when he sees him finally sleeping peacefully. Alex’s smile drops, however, when he thinks of Angelica’s words.

_He likes you, he likes you a lot, but he’s worried you’ll leave._

That explains why Aaron had clutched at him so tightly before, and why he had begged him not to leave with tears in his eyes. Even if he doesn't _like_ Alex,he still clearly cares about him, and Alex had treated him like shit.  God, Alex had messed all of this up so bad. He shouldn’t have acted like such a child; he should have let Aaron talk to him instead of running away and yelling at him. He’s such an idiot.

Alex swallows around the lump forming in his throat and climbs back onto the bed so he can lie down next to Aaron. He’d made the same mistake he always makes in relationships, got so caught up in his own feelings and thoughts the he didn’t even stop to consider how the other person must be feeling.

“I’m sorry.” Alex whispers, even though he knows Aaron can’t hear him. “I’m so sorry.” He shuffles a little closer to Aaron and closes his eyes, breathing out slowly. It must only be a little after six, but Alex is so tired, so he lets himself relax as he drifts off to sleep.

-

When he wakes up at some point the next morning, Alex has a moment of panic when he realizes Aaron isn’t next to him. He sits up quickly and blinks his eyes, adjusting to the light that is peeking into the room from the window. He hears the sound of water running in the bathroom, and feels the panic recede from his chest. A few minutes later, Aaron emerges from the bathroom wearing new pajamas and a towel around his shoulders.

“Hi.” Alex says, not knowing what else to say, and feeling slightly stupid for it.

“Hi.” Aaron responds with a smile, his voice still sounding hoarse. But he looks better, and the fact that he’s up and walking around is a good sign.

“So you…you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, or at least this is the first time I feel fully conscious.” Aaron sits back down on the bed and stares down at his hands before flicking his eyes over to Alex. “How long have I been out of it?”

“Pretty much all of yesterday. Do you…do you remember anything from yesterday?” Alex tries to keep his voice casual, but he needs to know if Aaron remembers the things that he said to him.

“I remember Angelica coming over, and…and you being here. And…” Aaron trails off, and he looks fully at Alex, who bites his lip as he waits for Aaron to continue. “Oh god…” Aaron closes his eyes. “Did I…did I, uhm…”

“Cry?” Alex finishes with a small smile. “Yeah, a little.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron brings his knees up to his chest and buries his head in his hands. “That’s really…I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…it was the fever and I…”

“Aaron.” Alex says his name softly as he scoots closer to him, placing a hand on his knee. “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I was such an asshole and I’m so sorry. Angelica already yelled at me, but you’re more than welcome to as well. I deserve it.”

That gets Aaron to let out a small laugh, and he lifts up his head to look at Alex again. He shakes his head.

“I don’t want to yell at you.” He says softly, keeping his eyes on Alex. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Alex nods, wondering what he did in a past life to deserve Aaron being so kind to him, because he sure as hell doesn’t deserve it with the way he’s been acting recently, especially since the kiss. Speaking of which…

“I know I don’t deserve this…” Alex starts, looking nervously over at Aaron. ”But…could we talk about…about the kiss? I…I don’t know what happened, but I hate it, whatever it is. I hate that we got mad at each other. And you...you started to talk about it before, but you weren't making much sense, so can we talk about it now, please?”

“I just…” Aaron sighs and puts his legs down so he can sit cross-legged on the bed. “I should have talked to you about how I…but I didn’t, and that ended up making the whole thing a mess. I didn’t mean to keep you from dating other people, cause I…I _like_ you, Alexander, and I thought that you might…but you don’t, and that’s fine, really, that’s-“

“I do like you.” Alex blurts out, making Aaron’s eyes snap up to his. “God, I...I like you so much. I thought that _you_ didn’t like me, cause you told me to date other people and-“

“I only said that because _you_ were talking about how you missed being in a relationship and felt unhappy and-“

“I was unhappy because I wasn’t in a relationship with you!”

“You...” Aaron stares at him with wide eyes, like he can’t believe what’s happening. “What?”

“I like you.” Alex repeats, taking one of Aaron’s hands in his. “I’ve liked you for months, but was too stupid to say anything, especially after…after you told me about Theodosia, because I didn’t want to push you to move on if you weren’t ready. And then we were fake dating when all I wanted was to really date you and...and I just did stupid things and I'm sorry.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron says, shaking his head in disbelief. “Thomas was right.”

“Thomas? As in Jefferson?” Alex asks in confusion, wondering how he fit into this whole thing.” What are you talking about?”

“I…I went to talk to Thomas about the kiss because I didn’t know what to do, and he told me that you were acting weird because you didn’t want to pressure me, and that I should just talk to you about it…”

“Wow.” Alex says after a few moments. “I never thought I’d live to see the day that Jefferson actually says something smart.”

They both laugh at that, and then they sit together in silence, taking turns glancing at each other, neither one of them knowing what to say next. Alex keeps Aaron’s hand in his, letting his thumb brush over the back of it, smiling when Aaron shivers a little from the contact.

“So, just to clear this whole thing up entirely…” Aaron shifts slightly on the bed and then squeezes Alex’s hand, making him look up at him. “You like me? As in…you _like_ me?”

“I do indeed _like_ you.” Alex affirms, smiling. “Actually, I kind of really like you.”

“I kind of really like you too.” Aaron replies, still looking like he's in shock. 

“Good.” He smiles even wider, and Aaron’s eyes trail over his face, causing Alex’s face to grow warm. He bites his lip and looks down at their hands, which are still entwined. He jumps a little when Aaron’s other hand tilts his chin up so they’re looking at each other again.

“God, I wish I wasn’t sick right now.” Aaron breathes out, tracing Alex’s jaw with his thumb. “Cause I really want to kiss you again, especially now that we know we both want it...”

Alex smirks and then leans forward, pressing his lips to Aaron’s cheek in a quick kiss. He’s moving to pull away, but then Aaron’s other hand comes up so he can cup Alex’s face. Alex gasps slightly as Aaron’s lips brush against his own cheek before trailing down and nipping gently at the skin underneath his jaw. “Mmm…”

Aaron pulls away with a smirk of his own and then he ducks his head and coughs into his arm. He twists and grabs the glass of whatever next to him and takes a long drink from it. Once he’s done, he stretches out his legs and leans back against the headboard, wincing slightly and rubbing at his chest.

“Sorry.”

“You’re fine.” Alex says with another smile. “Here, let me get your medicine.” Instead of getting off the bed, Alex just leans over Aaron and reaches into the drawer of the side table. He succeeds in getting the box, but he almost slips off the bed in the process, but Aaron’s hands grab at his waist to keep him from falling. Alex lets out a small shout of surprise that breaks off into laughter, trying to twist out of Aaron’s grip, but Aaron just tightens his hands and pulls Alex back up.

“Are you ticklish?” Aaron asks, amusement lacing his voice. Not waiting for Alex’s response, he trails his fingers over his sides, making Alex laugh again. “You are! Oh, that's funny.”

“Stop it!” Alex breathes out over his laughter, but Aaron’s hands continue to ghost over his sides, making Alex yelp and squirm as he tries to escape his hold. He eventually succeeds in breaking free, but it causes him to fall onto his back on the bed, pulling Aaron down over him. He stares up at the figure hovering over him, and feels his breath leave him all over again.

Aaron laughs softly as Alex continues to stare at him, and grabs the medicine box still in Alex’s hand before pushing off of him. He settles back against the headboard and then swallows down the medicine with another gulp of water.

“What time is it?” Alex asks as he sits back up.

“Mmm, a little after 6:30. Do you have work today?”

“I do, but I’m going to take the day off I think.”

“Alexander, you don’t have to do that.” Aaron says as he lies down on his side and pulls the covers over himself. “I’m fine.”

“I have like a million vacation days, it’s not a big deal. I never miss work. Besides…” Alex looks down and picks at the bedsheet. “I missed you.”

“Please, you just want the day off.” Aaron says, but when Alex looks up at him, he’s smiling fondly over at him. “I missed you too. But I’m not gonna be very good company, just so you know, I’m still exhausted.”

“What, going back to bed already?” Alex teases, lying down on his side next to Aaron. “You’re so lazy.”

“I am, and it’s nice to be lazy. I should get sick more often.”

“I think I’m going to have to disagree with you on that.” Alex says softly, thinking about how worried he’d been when he first found Aaron. He doesn’t want to feel that way again. He reaches out a hand and places it against Aaron’s chest, pressing down so he can feel his heartbeat.

“I’m fine, Alexander.” Aaron places one of his hands over Alex’s. “So stop worrying.”

Alex nods, but doesn’t move his hand. Instead, he lets it trail over Aaron’s chest, and he smiles when he hears Aaron hum softly.

“Did I say I was sorry yet?” Alex asks. “Because I’m really, really sorry. For everything. For yelling at you, for ignoring you, for making you walk home in the snow, for-“

“Alexander.” Aaron moves his hand back to Alex’s face and brushes some of his hair behind his ear. “It’s fine, it’s all fine. I’m fine. Tell you what though, if you still feel guilty, then you can make it up to be by telling me what Angelica said when she yelled at you.”

“Deal.” Alex chuckles, smiling as Aaron’s hand continues to move through his hair. “Long story short, she told me that she noticed you were upset, and that I was being a selfish jerk and that she would kick my ass if I hurt you.”

“Sounds like Angelica.”

“It was an eye opener.” Alex says with a nod. “But one that I definitely needed. Maybe I’ll send her a thank you card.”

"Maybe I will too, and one to Jefferson, for knocking sense into us both." Aaron smiles and then moves his hand so it’s resting against his cheek. Alex closes his eyes and pushes against it, feeling so happy to finally be this close to Aaron again. They had wasted so much time getting here.

“Can I ask you something?” Alex asks, opening his eyes again so he can look over at Aaron. “Can we go out? Like…on a real date?”

“I would like that a lot.”

“Me too…”

“Thomas throws a big Christmas party at his house every year. It’s totally over the top, but it's always entertaining and the food is good. Would you want to go with me this year?"

“I…sure…” Alex says slowly, and then he shakes his head when Aaron looks at him in confusion. “I mean, yes, I definitely do! It’s just…Christmas is like three weeks away and I was kind of hoping we could go on a date sooner…” Alex trails off as Aaron starts to laugh.

“Someone’s eager.” He teases. “Don’t worry, Thomas always goes on an extravagant vacation for Christmas, so he throws the party early. It’ll probably be this coming week, and I’ll need a few days to recover so, that’s the best I can offer. But if you don’t want to then-”

“No! I mean, yes! I mean…” Alex laughs and shakes his head, his words once again failing him around Aaron. “I mean I would love to go with you.”

“Good.” Aaron smiles at him again, and then he pushes Alex gently until he’s laying on his back so he can rest his head on his chest. “Then it’s a date.”

“It’s a date.” Alex repeats. He smiles up at the ceiling as Aaron throws an arm over his stomach, scooting even closer to him. Alex brings one of his arms up to wrap it around Aaron’s waist. “Why do I have the feeling,” Alex starts after a few moments, “that Jefferson is going to be weirdly involved in our dating life?”

Aaron’s shoulders start to shake, but this time it's from laughter, and soon Alex is joining in, letting his hand trail up and down Aaron’s back.

He hasn’t felt this happy in a long time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there wasn't too much Ham/Burr interaction, but I promise much more is soon to come. And YAY they finally talked to each other :D Let the dating and good times begin. Let's see how long they can keep the communication going. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos are appreciated, and comments/feedback are loved! If you want, follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies and message me privately if you want to know my main blog.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is a good one for you guys.
> 
> Enjoy x

As Aaron recovers over the next week, he finds himself constantly looking over at Alexander in order to remind himself that he’s really back. More than that, Aaron looks at him in order to remind himself that him and Alexander are _together_. Or at least, they’re almost together.

After he and Alexander had talked that first time, Aaron had taken him aside a few days later to tell him that he wanted to take things slow. It’s not that Aaron isn’t ready to date, because he finally feels like he is, which is a feeling he's still getting used to. He just doesn’t want to rush things, doesn’t want things to get physical before they both agree one hundred percent that they’re ready to date exclusively. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

So as they wait for their first official date in the form of Thomas Jefferson’s Christmas party to roll around, he and Alexander do their best to not rush into anything. However, if Aaron notices how Alexander starts finding reasons to sit closer to him than necessary, or lets their hands brush more than normal, well, who is Aaron to stop him?

Luckily, they don’t have to wait long for their first official date to arrive. The invitation to Thomas’s party arrives on Tuesday, inviting them to his house that coming Friday for a holiday celebration.

“God, how pretentious can this guy get?” Alexander asks as he reads the invitation while Aaron watches him from his seat at the table with growing amusement. “I mean, seriously, ‘you are graciously invited to attend what will be the most memorable party of not only the season, but the year. I will allow you to bring one guest of your choosing that was not lucky enough to receive and invitation. Gifts for the host are not necessarily required, but are highly recommended.’ My God, what an asshole.”

“Alexander calm down.” Aaron says with a laugh. “That’s just Thomas’s way of joking around. He’s not serious, or, at least not completely.”

“Joking around my ass, it’s clear this guy is just that much of a prick. Why are we even going to this thing again?”

“Well,” Aaron says calmly, raising an eyebrow, “I was under the impression that this was going to be our first date. But if you’d rather we skip the party and postpone, then-“

“What? No!” Alexander says, his face flushing slightly after his quick answer. “Uh, I mean, no. That’s fine, I want to go. Really, that’s…we’re going, definitely going.”

Aaron ducks his head to hide his smile, and laughs softly under his breath when Alexander continues to read Thomas’s invitation with a disgusted look.

“How come he sent us two invitations?” Alexander asks after a few more moments, holding both of them up with his hands.

“He probably wasn’t sure if we made up yet and wanted to make sure we were both going to be there.”

“Why? Did he think I would go to his party even if me and you were still fighting? Why would I do that?”

“Are you trying to tell me you wouldn’t have used this opportunity to try and win me back?” Aaron smirks and stands up from the table so he can walk over to Alexander. “You wouldn’t do some grand romantic gesture to make me rush into your arms?”

Alexander shoots back a smirk of his own and steps in front of Aaron, closing the small distance between them. He places his hands on Aaron’s waist and looks up at him through his eyelashes, a teasing smile on his face. 

“I don’t know...you don't necessarily strike me as a guy who would like grand romantic gestures. Would it have worked?”

Aaron laughs and lets his hands travel up to Alexander’s face, cupping it gently. As he looks at him, Aaron has to remind himself of their agreement to not rush things, because he would currently like nothing more than to kiss him. In regards to Alexander’s question, all Aaron has to do is look into his eyes to know the answer.

“I guess we’ll never find out.” He teases instead of answering truthfully. “Maybe we should have waited to make up.” Aaron lets his thumb brush briefly over Alexander’s jaw before stepping back, smiling when he hears Alexander’s tiny huff of disappointment.

He turns and picks up their dinner plates from the table and walks them over to the sink, still smiling. He won’t lie; he’s beyond excited for this date, and incredibly nervous. He hasn’t seriously dated someone since Theodosia, and there’s a small amount of anxiety that is slowly starting to build in his chest. But Aaron pushes it down. It’s going to be fine. He's ready for this.

“Hey,” Alexander says from behind him, “can I invite John to the party?”

Aaron pauses what he’s doing and stares back at Alexander, who is looking at the invitation with furrowed brows. Aaron turns around completely and leans his back against the counter as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You want to invite Laurens to the party?” _To our date?_ , he adds silently in his head. “Uhm…” Aaron isn't sure how to respond to Alexander wanting to bring his ex boyfriend on their first date.

“I mean, it’s still _our_ date!” Alexander says quickly, looking up at Aaron and gesturing between them. “I just, Laf told me that John and the guy he was seeing broke up and I know that Herc is going to be there with Eliza, and I just don’t want John to feel left out.”

Aaron pushes down the jealousy that had flared up so suddenly inside of him, and forces himself to relax. Alexander is just being nice.

“I think that’s a good idea.” He says with a smile, and he uncrosses his arms so he can rub the back of his neck. “We can get a cab and pick him up.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Alexander bounds over to him and throws his arms around his neck. “I know it’s kind of weird but…” he pulls away and winks at Aaron, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

-

Friday evening comes quickly, and before he knows it, Aaron finds himself in the back of a cab, squished between Alexander and Laurens as they drive to Thomas’s house. The ride has been strangely quiet so far, and Aaron is unable to pinpoint why, but there is definitely a tense feeling in the air.

“So…” Laurens says after awhile, “so this is like, another fake date for you two? Keeping the charade going?”

Aaron fidgets in his seat and glances over at Alexander. He had told Alexander that Thomas and James knew about their previous arrangement, and then had laughed when he had learned that Alexander had told Laurens and Mulligan as well. But now it seems like Alexander hadn’t told his friend that they were actually attempting to date. Not that Aaron had told anyone either, it’s not exactly a conversation he’s used to having.

“Well, actually,” Alexander clears his throat, “this is a real date.”

“Oh.” Laurens sounds surprised, but there’s something else in his voice that Aaron can’t decipher. “And you decided your real first date would be at Jefferson’s house? Interesting choice.”

“Believe me, “ Alexander mumbles, “the ridiculousness of the situation is not lost on me.” But then he reaches out a hand to lace his fingers with Aaron’s, smiling at him before turning to look out of the window, and Aaron feels a spark of warmth spread through his chest.

They arrive at Thomas’s house around ten minutes later, and as soon as they get out of the car, Alexander swears loudly, his head craned up to take in the sight before them.

“Who the fuck needs a house this big?” He says with a mixture of awe and disgust. “Just look at it. What the _fuck._ This is…this is ridiculous, beyond ridiculous! He only lives with James right? Oh my God…fuck…”

“Would you like to continue your rant inside the house?” Aaron asks teasingly, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to warm them up. “It’s cold, and I’m sure there is much more for you to be angry about inside.”

The thought of having more reasons to hate Thomas seems to cheer up Alexander, because he walks quickly towards the door and Aaron laughs as he attempts to keep up. Laurens follows behind them, his hands stuffed in his pockets. The door flings open as soon as Aaron rings the doorbell, and Thomas is beaming down at them, dressed in a vibrant maroon suit.

“Aaron!” Thomas pulls him into a hug, thumping him on the back a few times before pulling away. “And Laurens and Hamilton. Welcome! Come in, come in!” He backs away further into the house and ushers them inside to the main room.

Alexander manages something close to a smile at Thomas’s greeting, but then Laurens is pulling him towards Lafayette and Mulligan, who are already inside and standing off to the side of the room, leaving Aaron alone with Thomas.

“So.” Thomas leans in closer. “Is Hamilton here with Laurens, or…?”

“No, he’s here with me." Aaron says, and then he lowers his voice slightly. "We're...this…this is our first date. Our first real date.” The words are barely out of Aaron’s mouth before Thomas is clapping him hard on the back as he wears a triumphant smile.

“I knew I was right! I knew you guys just needed to talk to each other! I would say congratulations, but…it is Alexander Hamilton, so…” Thomas winks at him and laughs before looking at him more seriously. “But you’re happy?”

“Yeah.” Aaron says with a smile of his own. “I mean, our date hasn’t officially happened yet, but I’m happy. And why do you seem so cheery tonight?”

“It’s the Christmas spirit!" Thomas exclaims, despite it technically being two weeks before Christmas. "Now go mingle and be merry. And I know how much you like to explore my house, but no wandering off tonight!”

Aaron smiles as Thomas walks off to stand with James, and then he makes his way over to where Alexander is talking with Angelica, Laurens and Lafayette. He hugs Angelica briefly and says hello to Maria, who Angelica explains is her plus one for the night. Aaron turns to Alexander, who is asking Lafayette and Laurens why they think anyone feels the need to have their own private bar inside their house.

“Here.” Alexander holds out a drink once Aaron is next to him. “Do you like eggnog?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Ha!” Alexander yells suddenly, turning to Lafayette. “I told you he’d like eggnog. You owe me five dollars.” He turns back to Aaron, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “How do you like eggnog? It has to be the grossest thing ever created.”

“It’s a Christmas classic!” Aaron argues, as Angelica and Lafayette snicker behind their own glasses. “Try it, you’ll change your mind. Come on.” Aaron pushes his glass back at Alexander, who fake gags behind his hand. “Alexander, come on! Just one sip.”

“Fine. But if I die, it’s your fault.” Alexander grabs the glass and takes a small sip. His face immediately twists in disgust. “Ugh! More disgusting than I thought. Oh man, this is awful. It’s like drinking poison.”

“Alex, you are so dramatic.” Lafayette laughs, bumping his shoulder against Alexander’s.

“Only when it’s warranted.” Alexander responds. He turns and grabs a plate of something from the bar behind him. "Here. Now as my reward for drinking that, you need to eat a piece of fruitcake, because _of course_ Jefferson would have something as nasty as fruitcake at his party."

"You're such a child." Aaron says, but he takes the piece of fruitcake and bites into it, doing his best not to make a face as he does, not wanting to give into Alexander's already growing amusement. "Not bad."

"Oh please!" Alexander laughs. "You look like you're in so much pain right now. Poor thing."

Aaron swallows the one piece in his mouth as everyone else around them laughs. Alexander is watching him with a smile that makes Aaron's heart beat a little faster in his chest.

“So, what’s my reward for eating the fruitcake?” Aaron asks before he can stop himself. He feels his skin grow warmer as Alexander steps closer to him. He barely has time to close his eyes before Alexander’s mouth is on his. The kiss is brief, just a quick press of lips against his own before Alexander is stepping back, a small smirk on his face.

Suddenly remembering where they are, Aaron looks past Alexander to see Angelica watching them with a warm smile. Lafayette winks at him, but Laurens just takes another long drink from his glass before grabbing another. 

“Attention! May I have your attention!” Thomas calls from the front of the room, with James at his side. “I have an announcement to make and then the festivities can continue with some music, courtesy of the live band I hired.”

“It’s a short announcement I promise.” James adds on, squeezing Thomas’s hand. “But we didn’t want to wait till the end of the night when you are all drunk off your asses to say it.”

“As you all know,” Thomas starts again, “James and I are newly engaged. However, we have been thinking of getting married for a long time, and have talked about our wedding for awhile. Because of this, we have been able to set a wedding date already for this summer! August 13th is going to be the big day!”

Aaron claps along with everyone else, understanding now why Thomas had been in such a good mood this evening. He watches as Thomas leans down slightly so James can whisper something in his ear. When he straightens, he’s suddenly looking a little nervous.

“I also have something else I’d like to say. Or ask, I suppose.” Thomas clears his throat and looks over at Aaron. “A groom needs someone by his side to help with all the craziness of a wedding, and I was hoping that Aaron would consider being my best man.”

There’s another round of applause as Aaron stands there, staring at Thomas in shock. He gives himself a small shake and then walks over to Thomas, pulling him down into a hug.

“Of course.” Aaron says, and he pulls back as the clapping continues to fill the room. "Of course I'll be your best man. I'm honored."

Thomas smiles down at him, and then James steps forward to give Aaron a hug of his own, murmuring a quiet 'thank you' in his ear before turning back to smile warmly at Thomas, who claps his hands together loudly.

“Now enough of this, let the music continue! I command that everyone dance! Give us a slow song!” Thomas takes James’s arm and pulls him out into the middle of the room, signaling to the band to start playing.

Aaron makes his way back over to the bar, smiling at Angelica as she leads Maria out to dance. When he gets back to Alexander, the other man smiles up at him.

“So be honest,” he says, “how much is Jefferson paying you to be his best man? Cause there’s no way you’re doing this voluntarily.”

“Shut up.” Aaron laughs. “He’s really not that bad once you get to know him.”

“I’ll have to take your word on that. But from what I’ve seen...well…and really, who hires a live band? And who expects people to dance to Christmas music? Can you really even dance to that?”

Aaron laughs again and shakes his head. He looks out at all the other couples on the dance floor, and then glances back over at Alexander. He clears his throat and then looks down at his hands.

“We could find out.”

“What?”

“We could find out.” Aaron repeats, with a nod at all the other people dancing. “If we can dance to Christmas music.” He holds out one of his hands, fighting down the nerves that are fluttering in his stomach. But then Alexander takes his hand with a wide smile.

“Dancing on the first date, I guess you are a romantic.”

They walk into the middle of the room, and Aaron does his best to keep his hands from shaking as he places one on the small of Alexander’s back, and keeps holding onto Alexander’s hand with the other.

“I draw the line at spinning.” Alexander tells him with a crooked smile as he places his hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “So no spinning me, and that’s for your own safety, I have zero balance.”

Aaron chuckles, but pulls Alexander a little closer as they start to move slowly to the music. The music almost seems to fade to the background as Alexander looks up at him, biting his lip and then looking down at the floor with a smile. 

“I’m really happy that we made up.” Alexander murmurs, flicking his eyes back up to Aaron’s. “And that you invited me to this.”

“Technically Thomas invited you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not here for Jefferson. I don’t like him. But I do like you.” Alexander glances down at Aaron’s mouth, but then moves his head to rest on his shoulder, his breath tickling the side of his neck.

They continue to move, and Aaron feels his heart pounding in his chest. He looks over Alexander's shoulders to watch everyone else dancing, and then lets his eyes wander to the lights that Thomas had set up all around the room. There's something about Christmas lights that Aaron has always loved, they make everything feel warm, and that warmth combined with the way Alexander is leaning against him is more than enough to make Aaron smile. 

Aaron isn't sure how long they continue to dance, but the music suddenly turns to something more upbeat, and he lets himself be convinced to dance to one more song before they head back to the bar for a drink. When they reach it, Mulligan and Eliza are mid conversation, telling a story to Maria about the time that Alexander had stood up during the middle of a class in college and argued with the professor for thirty minutes straight. Aaron looks over at Alexander in amusement, but he just shrugs a shoulder without looking even the slightest bit ashamed.

“You sound like quite the character.” Maria says to Alexander with a tiny laugh.

“Oh he is.” John says from where he’s sitting, taking a sip of his drink. “I mean, that story is nothing compared to the time that he decided to argue with some guy while we were in line to get popcorn for a movie. Do you remember that date, babe?”

“How much have you had to drink, John?” Mulligan asks with a loud laugh, putting a hand on Laurens’s shoulder. But Laurens just shrugs it off and stands up to put an arm around Alexander’s shoulder, leaning in close. Aaron says nothing, clenching his jaw tightly as he watches the two of them. 

“Come on Alexander.” Laurens slurs. “I know you remember that date. We didn’t even watch the movie, just made out the entire time. And then afterwards we went back to your place and we fuc-“

“John!” Alexander’s voice is sharp, and he casts a worried look over at Aaron, but Aaron looks down at the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting. “Come on, you’re drunk. Stop it.”

“Alex, babe, come on.” Laurens keeps his arm around Alexander even when he tries to pull away, and Aaron feels his stomach start to twist. “We were good together, you and me. We were in love then. I’m still in love with you, you know.”

Aaron glances up at Alexander, who is staring back at Laurens with a dumbstruck look, and feels his stomach drop even further. Mulligan steps forward and pulls Laurens away from Alexander, murmuring something in his ear.

“No!” Laurens says loudly. “I won’t calm down. I’ve been waiting for Alex for years, and then he goes and moves next door to Burr and-“

“John, just calm down, come on, just-“

“- and then of course Alex has to start liking him. And at first I thought things were going to turn out ok, that I had a chance, cause they weren’t _really_ together right? And I even made up having a boyfriend to try and make Alex jealous but…”

“John.” Alexander looks at Laurens with wide eyes, but John flinches back when Alexander tries to touch him and stumbles slightly over his own feet.

“And then I come here," Laurens spits out, his voice growing in volume, "thinking Alex invited me for a reason, but then he tells me that him and Burr on a date, and a real one, a real date, not like all the others they've had, not a fa-“

Mulligan throws a hand over Laurens’s mouth before he can say the rest of his sentence, and then he throws one of Laurens’s arms around his shoulders when the other man stumbles again.

“Come on John, let’s get you home, alright?” Mulligan starts walking Laurens towards the door as everyone else watches in shocked silence.

“I…I’m sorry.” Alexander stutters. He looks over at Aaron with pleading eyes. “I’m just…I’m going to make sure they get a cab. I’ll be right back. I’m sorry.”

Aaron watches Alexander’s retreating figure, not wanting to look at the faces of everyone else who overheard that conversation. He feels a hand touch his arm gently, and he looks over to see Angelica staring at him with questioning eyes.

“Aaron, what was that?” She asks softly. “What did John mean?”

But Aaron just shakes his head and steps back slightly before turning around completely and walking away. He needs to take in what just happened, needs to take in the way Laurens was looking at Alexander, and the way that Alexander had looked back at him.

He wanders down one of the hallways, letting his feet lead him, knowing where he’ll end up. He pushes open one of the doors and steps into the room, smiling slightly when he sees the piano, its wood reflecting the Christmas lights that Jefferson had set up in the room. Aaron sits down on the bench and lets his fingers trail over the keys. His fingers start to move across them, the music filling the room and distracting him from his other thoughts as he forces himself to remember the pattern of the song.

“I didn’t know you could play piano.”

Aaron looks up to Alexander standing in the doorway with a soft expression on his face. Aaron moves his hands away from the keys and brushes his hands on his pants awkwardly as he shrugs.

“I can’t, not really. I just know the one song.”

“Why just the one?”

“I…” Aaron swallows and shrugs again. “My Uncle told me it was my mom’s favorite, so I learned it.”

Alexander looks at him a moment longer before walking over and sitting next to him on the bench. His fingers trail softly over the keys, and Aaron is watching them when Alexander starts to speak, pulling his attention back to his face.

“It sounds familiar, what’s the song called?”

“It's Moonlight Sonata.” Aaron responds with a small smile. “My Uncle refused to buy me a piano, or even a keyboard, so I used to go to this music store that was near our house and I would just sit at the piano there and play until I thought my fingers were gonna fall off. I don’t think I was technically allowed to play on it, but the owner took pity on me. Plus I argued with him for almost two hours until he agreed.”

“I guess arguing with people is a skill we both have.” Alexander smiles at him, and Aaron can’t help but notice how his eyelashes cast a shadow on his face against the glow of the Christmas lights. “Do you think about them a lot during Christmas? Your parents?”

“I think about them all the time. But more so on Christmas, yes.”

“I think about mine too.”

Aaron nods, and Alexander turns back to look at the piano with is a small nod of his own. He takes a deep breath before looking back at Aaron.

“I’m really sorry about what John said.”

“It’s fine.” Aaron says, looking away. “Is he…is he ok?”

“He’s ok. He’s an idiot…but he’s ok.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, and Aaron tries to say something, but he doesn’t even know what to say. There are so many emotions swirling inside of him. He feels upset that Laurens had to say all of those words in front of everyone, but he also feels guilty for making him feel the way he does, Aaron had no idea he still liked Alexander. And then there’s a small amount of fear that Alexander will realize he wants Laurens back, that he'll leave him again. 

“Aaron.” Alexander’s voice is soft, but Aaron looks over to see him staring at him with a reassuring smile, like he knew what had just been going through Aaron’s mind. “Listen to me. I care about John, and we have a history, but it’s over between us. I’m here with you tonight, and…and I’m happy about that, because I kind of really like you.”

“I kind of really like you too.” Aaron says with a smile, remembering the first time Alexander had said those words to him. They still cause butterflies to form in his stomach. 

Alexander nods again, and then he moves both hands over the keys. He looks at Aaron, another smile playing on his lips.

“Will you teach me?”

Aaron slowly moves his hands over Alexander's and presses his fingers over the keys, guiding them the best he can. With Alexander so close to him, and his hands underneath his own, Aaron can’t stop himself from looking up from the piano and over at Alexander. His brows are furrowed in concentration, and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth, drawing Aaron’s attention.

Alexander laughs suddenly as his fingers falter on the rhythm, and he turns his head to look at Aaron, who, at that moment, is still staring at Alexander’s mouth. When their eyes meet, Aaron feels his breath catch in his chest and his heart seems to be trying to escape from his ribs.

It must be the eggnog, Aaron thinks, that is clouding his better judgement as he continues to stare at Alexander, not even trying to hide the way his eyes roam over his face, taking in each detail. He’d always thought Alexander was attractive, but there’s something about the way the Christmas lights fill the room that makes Alexander look even more beautiful…

Still not entirely taking in what he’s doing, Aaron reaches out a hand and tucks a strand of hair behind Alexander’s ear, a gesture they had practiced many times, but there’s something about doing it here and now that makes it feel so much more intimate. And then there’s the way Alexander leans into Aaron’s touch, his breath hitching as he does so, that makes Aaron grow even bolder.

He keeps his hand against Alexander’s face, and lets his thumb brush up against his cheekbone. Alexander is quite as he stares up at him, and Aaron closes his eyes for a moment. All he can hear is the beat of his own heart in his ears; the sound is like a wave crashing into the shore, and it’s pulling Aaron with it, pulling him closer and closer to Alexander.

Before moving any further, Aaron opens his eyes and looks back at Alexander. His lips are slightly parted as he stares at Aaron, and his eyes are wide, like he doesn’t quite understand what’s happening. But there’s something else in them too, something like desire, an invitation…

Aaron turns a little more on the bench, and brings his other hand up to cup Alexander’s face, still trying to comprehend that this is about to happen. When he sees Alexander’s eyes drop to his mouth, Aaron loses his last ounce of hesitance. He doesn't want to wait any longer.

Aaron leans forward, closes his eyes again, and presses his lips against Alexander’s.

Alexander immediately opens his mouth against Aaron’s and surges into the kiss, and Aaron lets his hand travel to the back of Alexander’s neck, pulling them closer together. His mouth is so soft, and Aaron can’t stop a quiet moan from escaping him as the kiss deepens.

Alexander pulls away, breathing heavily, and Aaron feels his pulse quicken at the hungry look Alexander is giving him. Then there is a hand on his thigh, slowly sliding up and up and up. When Alexander’s hand brushes over him through his pants, Aaron suddenly finds that breathing is a very difficult thing to do.

In a flurry of sudden movement, Alexander moves to stand in front of him, pushing the piano bench back, and then climbs onto his lap to connect their mouths in a bruising kiss. Aaron lets out a pleased noise before nipping at his lower lip, and Alexander’s mouth falls open as he lets out small whimper. Aaron doesn’t even hesitate before licking his way into Alexander’s mouth, breathing in sharply when their tongues meet.

He’s never kissed Alexander like this, not even that first time. Their first kiss had been tampered by the fact that Aaron hadn’t thought Alexander wanted him, but this is different. Alexander is on top of him, letting out soft moans and Aaron’s head is swimming, and even his hands are shaking.

Gripping Aaron’s shoulders tightly, Alexander rolls his hips down gently into Aaron’s. The sound that comes out of his mouth at the motion makes Aaron flush in embarrassment, but when Alexander echoes his moan a moment later, a shiver runs down Aaron’s spine. He grabs Alexander’s waist, making the other man pull away to look down at him.

Alexander is looking at him with dark eyes, but there is something in them that makes Aaron’s heart jump. There’s a silent question, an 'are we really doing this?' in his eyes that he seems to answer himself the next second. Alexander grips his shirt even tighter in his hands, and then rolls his hips again, a little harder this time. Aaron shivers as a spark of pleasure runs through him, and then moves his hands behind him so he can grip the back of the bench, holding himself up.

Alexander grinds down onto him in earnest, each small sound from Aaron’s lips seeming to spur him on. When he starts placing open-mouthed kisses against his jaw, Aaron thinks that he might pass out, and is almost grateful when Alexander moves to tuck his head into his neck. With Alexander’s mouth so close to his ear, Aaron can hear each pant and each whimper that escapes Alexander’s lips, and it’s driving him crazy.

He moves on of his hands to rest on the small of Alexander’s back, and pushes his own hips up to meet Alexander’s. The added friction causes Alexander to moan loudly, and Aaron does it again and again, biting his lip in an effort to not make too much noise.

God, he’s tempted to take Alexander right here, right on this bench. He moans himself at the thought, unable to keep the noises back any longer. He imagines how Alexander’s skin would glow from the Christmas lights, how it would feel under his hands, how the wood would dig into Alexander’s back as Aaron thrust into him, how-

“My God.”

Aaron and Alexander break apart to see Thomas standing in the doorway, staring at them with an expression of slight shock and amusement. Alexander clambers off of him, and Aaron clears his throat in embarrassment, not knowing what to say.

“Well…” Thomas drawls, a smirk lighting up his face. “I came to check on you after hearing about certain events from Angelica, but it seems you two are just fine.”

“I’m uh…”Alexander shifts on his feet. “I’m just gonna go and uhm…yeah.” He slips out of the door with a quick, wide-eyed glance at Aaron.

“Thomas…” Aaron starts awkwardly, but Thomas just waves a hand at him.

“Please spare me the details. I’m already going to have trouble ever sitting at this piano again as it is.”

Aaron laughs as he stands up, still feeling awkward under Thomas’s gaze. He tries to say something, but he feels like he’s in shock. He can still feel Alexander's lips on his, and he can still feel the way that Alexander's hands had felt on his skin. He starts slightly as Thomas starts to laugh.

“Clearly you have something on your mind.” He says, putting a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “Something that’s probably much more exciting than my party. So why don’t you go find your man and get him home. I’ll make excuses for why you had to leave.”

Aaron smiles up at Thomas and nods before almost running from the room in search of Alexander. He finds him back in the main room, standing off to the side and playing with a strand of his hair nervously. He steps forward when he sees Aaron approaching, a guilty look on his face.

“Aaron! I’m sorry, I know we agreed to not rush things, but I couldn't help it and-“

“Do you want to go home?” Aaron interrupts, taking one of Alexander’s hands in his. “Like right now?”

“I…what?” Alexander is staring at him in confusion, his mouth hanging open slightly. “But I…”

“I said I didn’t want to rush things before we had our first date.” Aaron clarifies. “And we’ve technically had our first date. So, do you want to go home?” He lets his eyes drop to Alexander’s mouth, and feels Alexander's hand tighten its grip on his.

“ _Oh._ ” Alexander breathes out, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go home.”

Aaron smiles at him and then laughs as they both try to squeeze through the front door at the same time, neither of them willing to let go of the other’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this put a smile on your guys's faces. Will try to get the next one out by Friday.
> 
> Sending so much love and support to my LGBTQA+ family right now. You guys are my rock and my home, and my heart is with all of you.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this. Head over to tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to follow me. Also, comments are greatly appreciated!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the new rating. This chapter contains a whole lot of smut, so if that makes you uncomfortable, skip to the break in the chapter that I've marked with a bunch of ***** in order to make it more clear when the smut ends.
> 
> Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy x

The cab ride back to their apartment is silent, and Alex is thrumming with nervous energy. Aaron is next to him, his hand is on his thigh, just resting there, but it’s still enough to make Alex’s heart jump and his pulse quicken with excitement.

Just thinking about the kiss they had shared not even fifteen minutes ago is still enough to cause heat to spread throughout his body. He can still remember the noises Aaron had made, how hard he had been when Alex had rolled his hips down onto him. Biting his lip, Alex glances over at Aaron, but he’s staring out of the window, apparently lost in his own thoughts.

A few more minutes pass in silence, and Alex wishes Aaron would say something, because now his thoughts are starting to go back to John; the words he had said and the way he had looked at Alex with wide, sad eyes. It had been so long since they dated, so the fact that John still had feelings for him is too much for Alex to take in. He doesn’t know how he should be feeling about the whole situation, or what he should do.

Aaron’s hand tightens momentarily on his thigh, causing Alex to look over at the other man, who is now staring back at him, his expression unreadable. Alex bites at his lip and wishes Aaron’s hand would move higher, but it stubbornly remains where it is as Aaron continues to stare at him, still saying nothing.

Alex thinks about just leaning forward and kissing him again, but then the cab is stopping, and Aaron removes his hand as he opens the door to climb out. Alex follows him moments later, smiling when Aaron takes his hand and pulls him inside and into the elevator.

The ride up is quick, but Aaron still doesn’t say anything, and Alex can’t help but wonder if Aaron is changing his mind about all of this, about _them_. Maybe he’s still upset about the whole John thing, or maybe Alex really had pushed him too far and now he wants to slow things back down. Maybe he doesn’t even want to date anymore. All of these thoughts fly quickly through Alex's head, but all of them are proven wrong as soon as they get into the apartment.

As soon as the door closes, Aaron presses against him and mouths at his neck, making Alex gasp. Aaron grabs at his waist and hitches his shirt up slightly, his hands cool on Alex’s skin. When he bites gently on the side of his neck, Alex can't stop his hips from jerking forward.

“Shit.” Alex breathes out. He can’t believe this is happening. He grips the front of Aaron’s shirt with shaking hands and tilts his head back to give Aaron more access. When he lets out a small whimper, Aaron lifts his head up to look at him, his eyes dark.

“Alexander.” Aaron’s voice is lower than Alex has ever heard it, and it makes him shiver with anticipation. “You have to tell me if...do you really want to do this?”

“Yes!” Alex’s response is immediate, and he’d be embarrassed with how desperate he must sound if he wasn’t practically vibrating with want. “I really want to.”

“Are you sure? Even after everything with John? I know you've been thinking about it.” Aaron’s voice is quieter now, and his eyes move away from Alex’s briefly before flicking back up.

“I’m sure. Aaron, I’m _sure_. I've been waiting so long. I want this, I want _you_. I mean as long as you...do you still want to?” Alex holds his breath as Aaron considers him, his head tilting to the side. Alex licks his lips as he waits, and notices how Aaron’s eyes track the movement. He looks back up at Alex, his eyes burning, and then his mouth is back on Alex’s, the kiss surprisingly softer than what Alex had been expecting. He likes it.

Alex’s eyes flutter shut as they continue to kiss slowly, letting himself get lost in the feeling of Aaron’s mouth moving so nicely against his own. He hums when he feels Aaron’s tongue slide against his, the kiss growing more heated. Then, Aaron’s hands are moving from underneath his shirt back to the front of it, tugging on the material.

Alex is happy to let himself be led forward but refuses to stop kissing Aaron. This causes them to stumble a few times as they make their way to the bedroom, but Aaron just chuckles and continues to kiss him deeply. Once they reach the room, Aaron pushes Alex gently onto the bed before climbing over him

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since we made up.” Aaron whispers as he starts to unbutton Alex’s shirt slowly. The confession makes Alex squirm with want, but Aaron just smiles and continues in the same steady pace. “I’ve been thinking about it every day. You’ve been driving me crazy.”

“I-ah!” Alex gasps when Aaron pops the last of the buttons and presses a kiss to his stomach before sliding his shirt off the rest of the way. “You should have, I would’ve let you.”

“Isn’t it more fun to wait? To draw it out?” Aaron teases, his voice low. “Besides, now we have a great story to tell about how we made out on Thomas’s piano, isn’t that worth the wait?”

“I’m gonna have to go with no.” Alex says with a breathy laugh, lifting his hips up as Aaron unzips his pants and pulls them off. “I don't like waiting. Although the look on Jefferson’s face is definitely something I will never forget.”

Aaron only hums in response, and then dips his head to kiss Alex’s hipbones. When his mouth continues to move farther and farther down, Alex clutches the bedsheets, his breath already coming in short bursts. Then, when Aaron’s mouth brushes over his cock through his boxers, Alex has to bite his lip hard in order to stop himself from shouting out.

Aaron continues to mouth at him over the fabric, and Alex wants nothing more than to buck his hips up in order to find more friction, but Aaron’s hands are firm on his hips, keeping him still. It’s only once Alex is grabbing at the fabric of Aaron’s shirt that he realizes Aaron is unfairly still dressed.

“Off.” Alex rasps out, tugging on Aaron’s shirt. “Take this off.”

Aaron lifts his head up and smirks at him, but he straightens immediately and scoots forward, straddling Alex’s hips before gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it off in one smooth motion.

 _“Shit.”_ Alex breathes out at the sight before him, reaching his hands out so he can trail his fingers down Aaron’s skin. “Goddamn. I hate you so much.” He continues to explore the muscles of Aaron's chest and stomach until Aaron rocks his hips down gently against his, making them both gasp. Alex sits up suddenly and grabs Aaron’s waist so he can rearrange them.

Once he’s situated over Aaron, Alex leans down to trail kisses across his chest, stopping to swipe his tongue over a nipple. Aaron arches up into it, a sound escaping him that sends a thrill down Alex’s spine. He licks at the other nipple and smirks when he gets the same reaction. He continues to move his tongue over his chest until Aaron is panting and squirming beneath him.

Alex starts to kiss his way back up Aaron’s chest, stopping to mouth at his neck momentarily before connecting their mouths again. The kiss is slow and deep, both of them probably using too much tongue, but Alex doesn’t care, not when he can feel Aaron’s hardness rubbing against his thigh. He lets one of his hands trail down so he can rub Aaron over the material of his pants, causing the other man to push his hips up into Alex’s touch.

Alex pulls away so he can look down at Aaron as he continues to stroke him through his pants. His eyes are closed, his lips are parted, and his chest is rising and falling rapidly as he attempts to keep his breathing steady. He opens his eyes slowly when Alex moves his hand to his belt, toying with the buckle.

“What are you waiting for?” He whispers with raised eyebrows, and Alex feels a new wave of excitement spread through him as he thinks about what is about to happen.

He moves back down Aaron’s body and undoes his belt as quickly as he can despite his trembling fingers. He throws it aside and then undoes the button and pulls down the zipper just as fast. Aaron lifts his hips to help Alex pull his pants and boxers down, and right before he does, Alex sends up a silent prayer to the heavens, thanking God for allowing this moment to happen.

Once Aaron is completely naked beneath him, Alex has to take a moment to let his eyes roam over the wide expanse of skin that is now in front of him. He’s thought about this moment so much, but Aaron is even more beautiful than he could have imagined. He wants to look at him forever, wants this moment to last forever.

Alex moves back between Aaron’s legs and lets his hands move slowly up his thighs, smiling when he feels Aaron’s muscles twitch slightly under his fingertips. When he lets his hands trail right past his cock, which is hard against his stomach, Aaron lets out a small huff of breath.

“Tease.” He murmurs, shifting his hips on the bed and staring up at Alex with dark eyes.

“I thought we didn’t want to rush things?” Alex murmurs back, running his fingernails lightly back down his thighs, smiling again when Aaron reaches his hands down to grab at Alex’s wrists. “I thought that _drawing things out_ was more fun?”

“You are the worst, Alexander.”

Alex chuckles, but moves forward to place a kiss on Aaron’s stomach, his mouth slowly trailing lower and lower. When he lets his breath ghost over Aaron’s cock, Aaron lets go of Alex’s wrists and moves his hands back onto the bed, clenching the sheets tightly. He lets out a soft noise when Alex takes the head into his mouth. He sucks lightly on the tip before pulling off and giving Aaron a few strokes.

When he leans down to take Aaron into his mouth again, one of Aaron’s hands comes up to rest on the back of his neck, causing goosebumps to rise on Alex’s skin. Alex brings one of his own hands up to wrap around the portion of Aaron’s cock that he can’t fit into his mouth, relishing in the noise Aaron makes as he tries to take him in deeper.

Alex starts to bob his head up and down, and Aaron’s hand is gentle on the back of his neck, guiding him. Alex hums and closes his eyes, losing himself in the easy rhythm. He loves how Aaron tastes, and loves how he feels against his tongue. Most of the blowjobs Alex has given have been quick and rough, making him gag. But this one is different; it’s unhurried and tender, and it makes him moan all the same.

When he opens his eyes again, Aaron is staring down at him with something like adoration in his eyes as he watches him, his jaw hanging slightly open. Alex makes a needy whimper at the back of his throat at the sight, wanting Aaron to look at him like that all the time. Aaron pushes in a little deeper, and Alex swallows around his cock, making him groan lowly.

“Fuck, Alexander. That’s-you’re so good, this feels…” Aaron trails off as his breath hitches, and then the only sounds in the room is the slick sound of him moving in and out of Alex’s mouth, accompanied by Alex’s desperate moans.

Alex isn’t sure how long it goes on, and he also finds that he doesn’t care. He could suck Aaron’s cock all day. But after awhile, Aaron tugs on his hair, and Alex pulls off of him, breathing heavily and not caring that he probably has spit all over his chin. Aaron swears under his breath when he looks at him, and then he’s pulling Alex back over him, his lips frantic against his as they kiss.

“What do you want?” Aaron breathes out between kisses. His hands move down Alex’s back and slip under the hem of his boxers, making Alex’s breath catch.

“I…” Alex loses his breath again as Aaron starts to suck on a spot under his jaw. “You. God, I want you. Aaron, _please._ ” He shivers as Aaron makes a low, pleased noise in the back of his throat, his tongue running over the bite mark he had just made on Alex’s neck. Then his hands are on his back again and he maneuvers them until he’s hovering over Alex.

“Are you sure?” He asks, rubbing his knuckles gently over Alex’s stomach and continuing the motion even after Alex nods frantically. “We can do it the other way, whatever you want.”

Alex squeezes his eyes shut as Aaron’s fingers move to the waistband of his boxers. He’s never been a top or a bottom exclusively, and the thought of fucking Aaron is definitely enough to get his heart racing. But then the idea of Aaron inside of him, well, that’s not exactly a bad thought either.

“I’m sure.” Alex breathes out a few moments later, opening his eyes. “I want you. But…maybe next time, we could…I could…” He trails off, feeling to wound up to form the words, but Aaron smiles down at him.

“Next time.” He promises with a nod, and then he’s tugging of Alex’s boxers and throwing them onto the floor. He moves away from him for a second to rummage around in his bedside table before returning with lube and a condom.

Alex bites his lip as he watches Aaron pour the lube onto his fingers, and he can’t hold back a gasp when Aaron’s fingers brush over his entrance. Aaron pauses and looks over at him.

“Ok?”

“Yeah.” Alex assures him. “Yeah. Keep going.”

Aaron nods, but before doing anything else, he leans back over Alex and kisses his lips gently. He leans back, and then his one of his hands is on Alex’s cock, stroking him smoothly as he presses a finger back against his hole. Alex lets out a choked noise as Aaron sinks his finger in down to the first knuckle.

Alex breathes through his nose as he adjusts to the feeling, and then he gives Aaron a short nod to continue. He groans softly as Aaron starts to move his finger deeper, pumping it in and out of him.

“Tell me when you’re ready for more.” Aaron says, his voice more hoarse than usual as he watches his finger disappear into Alex. He continues to stroke Alex, but the movement is slow, not nearly enough to give Alex any real relief or friction.

“More.” Alex manages to say after a few minutes. “I can take more.”

Aaron nods, but removes his hand from Alex’s cock so he can grab the lube, drizzling more onto Alex’s hole before adding a second finger. He grips Alex’s thigh tightly as he starts to move his fingers again, scissoring them occasionally to open him up. After a few more moments, Aaron’s fingers do something wonderful inside him that makes Alex grind his hips down onto them, his mouth hanging open as he moans loudly. Aaron repeats the motion, crooking his fingers and dragging them over his prostate.

“Another.” Alex breathes, and the words are barely out of his mouth before Aaron is slowly pushing in a third finger. Alex looks down at Aaron, who is looking back at him hungrily, and pushes his hips down harder against his fingers, which makes Aaron swear.

“Fuck, Alexander. Look at you.” He moves his fingers a little faster inside of him. “You look so good right now.”

“Fuck me.” Alex begs, not caring how desperate he sounds. “Please. I’m ready.”

Aaron nods and removes his finger slowly before grabbing the condom and tearing it open. He rolls it on and then pours more lube onto his hand, spreading it over his cock and moving his hand over it a few times as his eyes look Alex up and down. Then he’s moving closer, hands spreading Alex’s thighs farther apart and lining himself up. Alex has to remind himself to breathe.

Aaron pushes in slowly, almost too slowly, and he squeezes Alex’s thighs in warning when he tries to push down onto him faster. Eventually, Aaron bottoms out, and both of them are breathing heavily. Aaron moves his hands from Alex’s thighs to his hips, running them up and down his skin for a moment as Alex adjusts.

When Aaron rolls his hips for the first time, Alex thinks he’s going to come right then and there. He’s so full, and it feels so damn good. He wraps his legs around Aaron’s waist and groans, wanting to feel him even deeper inside him.

Aaron grips his hips tightly as he continues to move in slow, shallow thrusts, grinding into him. Then he pulls almost all of the way out, before entering him again in one fast movement. He only does it once before going back to slowly moving inside him, but a moan tears from the back of Alex’s throat anyway, and he arches up slightly, searching for some friction against his aching cock.

But Aaron ignores him, and just continues the same slow and steady pace that is driving Alex crazy. He wants more. He needs more, needs to feel Aaron slamming into him over and over.

“Aaron.” Alex whines, breathless. “Please, please just…” He swallows down another moan and clenches the bed sheets with his hands; unable to form the words he wants to say.

But Aaron seems to understand, because he rolls his hips a little harder, a small gasp escaping his lips as he does. Alex can tell that he’s holding back, and part of him wants to tell Aaron to just let go, to fuck him roughly, but the other part of him likes the tenderness and the slowness of this moment.

Aaron is panting now, thrusting deeper and deeper into him, and Alex let’s his eyes flutter shut. He can feel sweat starting to drip down his temple, and his heart feels like it’s going to burst from his chest as waves of pleasure wash over him. He hasn’t had it this good in a long time. When a hand grips his cock, Alex’s eyes fly open.

Aaron is staring down at him, and Alex feels his pulse pick up even more as Aaron starts to move his hand slowly up and down his cock. That combined with the way he’s starting to snap his hips faster and faster is making Alex start to see stars. But he doesn’t want it to end so soon.

“Come here.” Alex murmurs, reaching his arms out. Aaron releases his hold on both his cock and his hip as he leans over him. Alex immediately wraps his arms around his neck and connects their mouths in a kiss. It’s wet and sloppy, both of them too far gone to put a lot of technique into it.

Aaron places his hands on either side of Alex’s head as he starts to move again. It starts off slow, like before, but it doesn’t take long for Aaron to lose his restraint, and soon his hips are slapping against Alex’s.

They’re both breathing heavily, and Alex digs his nails into Aaron’s shoulders as he finds that spot inside of him that sends sparks down his spine. He hits it again and again, and Alex knows he’s close.

“Oh, _fuck_.” He whimpers as Aaron starts to pound into him. “Fuck, that’s good, that’s really good. Keep going, keep going.”

Aaron leans down again and sucks on the side of Alex’s neck, making him gasp. His cock is trapped between his own stomach and Aaron’s, and he can’t help but arch up off the bed slightly at the feeling of Aaron’s body rubbing against him.

“Alexander.” Aaron’s breath is warm against his neck, making him shiver. “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna-fuck.” Aaron thrusts into him even faster, starting to lose any rhythm he had before.

“Do it.” Alex whispers, feeling his own orgasm building in his stomach. “Come on, Aaron. Give it to me, fuck me.”

Aaron groans and slams into him over and over, but it’s still so so good. Alex’s eyes are practically rolling in his head, and Aaron is letting out small noises that are making his head spin. He feels heat spreading down his body, and Aaron is relentless in his pace now, hitting Alex’s prostate with every thrust.

“Oh my God.” Alex chokes out as Aaron’s hand returns to his cock. His vision goes white. “Oh, shit, shitshitshit. Aaron!” He comes with a silent scream, his back arching and toes curling as his release hits his own chest. His mind goes pleasantly blank afterwards, the pleasure still coursing through him as Aaron continues to move inside him.

He thrusts into him one, two, three more times before he stills with a breathy moan accompanied by a soft whisper of Alex’s name. Alex feels Aaron shiver on top of him, and then he’s pressing a kiss to Alex’s shoulder as he slowly pulls out.

The next moment, he’s pressing soft kisses to Alex’s forehead, his cheekbones, his nose, his jaw, everywhere he can reach until Alex lets out a laugh and scrunches up his nose as he pushes against Aaron’s chest playfully. He can feel Aaron smile against his skin, and then he’s pulling away, walking into the bathroom before coming back with a washcloth.

He sits on the edge of the bed and runs it over Alex’s chest and stomach, and Alex can’t help but smile. He can’t believe that this finally happened, but he’s so happy that it did. He reaches out a hand so he can trail his fingers down one of Aaron’s arms, causing the other man to smile softly at him.

Then he’s getting up again, grabbing two pairs of sweatpants from his drawer and throwing one of them at Alex. Alex slips them on and then climbs under the covers, sighing happily when Aaron slides in next to him. Alex scoots closer so he can rest his head on Aaron’s chest, feeling his eyes start to grow heavy.

“Hey…” He mumbles, tilting his head up so he can look up at Aaron. “It was worth the wait.”

“It was.” Aaron agrees after a moment, a smile spreading across his face as he closes his eyes. Alex hums and then nuzzles against him, feeling even more content as one of Aaron’s hands comes up to slide through his hair.

He falls asleep feeling happier than he has in a long time.

                                        **********************************************************************************

When Alex wakes up, he’s lying on his side, his head tucked against Aaron’s chest. He knows Aaron is awake, because he can feel his fingers tracing patterns on his back. Alex smiles, enjoying the feel of it for a few more moments before he lifts his head.

“Good morning.” Aaron murmurs. He has one of his arms tucked under his head, the other still slung over Alex’s waist. “Did you sleep ok?”

“Better than usual.” Alex says with a smile. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long.” Aaron says, and then he smiles back at him. “You talk in your sleep, did you know that?”

“I do not.” Alex mumbles, despite knowing the truth. John and Herc had mentioned it to him countless times before. It doesn’t happen all the time, but he knows it’s true.

“Don’t worry, it’s cute. I like it.”

“Shut up.” Alex moves one of his hands to pinch Aaron’s arm, but he just chuckles in response. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Has me saying no ever stopped you before?” Aaron asks, but when Alex looks up at him, he’s still smiling, a teasing light in his eye.

“Are you always this mean in the morning?”

“I guess you’ll find out.” Aaron responds, and that answer makes Alex’s stomach flutter. He scoots back slightly so he can look over at Aaron more easily. He takes a deep breath.

“So, are you my boyfriend?” Alex feels silly asking, and his heart starts pounding when Aaron doesn’t respond immediately. But then Aaron’s hand is moving to his face, brushing some of his hair behind his ear.

“That kind of was my intention with all of this; taking you to Thomas’s party and everything. I wasn’t just looking for sex. So yes, I’m your boyfriend. Or I would like to be, if that's ok with you.”

“Definitely ok with me.” Alex says quickly, resting his hand against Aaron’s chest. They stay like that for a moment, and then Alex smirks and raises his eyebrows. “But just so you know, I’m definitely ok with the sex part too. More than ok, actually. Cause you know, last night was pretty great.”

“Glad to hear it.” Aaron says with a laugh. “It was pretty great for me too.” He shoots Alex one last smile and then he rolls onto his back with a sigh. “I guess I should shower.”

“Or you could just stay in bed with your boyfriend.” Alex suggests, smiling at how nice the word sounds.

“That does sound tempting.” Aaron doesn’t show any signs of getting up from bed after those words, so Alex takes that as an invitation to snuggle back up to him again.

“So what does my boyfriend want for Christmas? I’m honestly the worst at buying presents, so you should just tell me straight up what you want, otherwise you’ll be getting a pack of playing cards or something.”

“You don’t need to get me anything.” Aaron says, moving his arms back around him. “I haven’t been very into Christmas these past few years.”

Alex stays still for a moment, but then he disentangles himself from Aaron’s arms so he can move to straddle his lap, staring down at him with a firm look.

“Well get ready to get back into the Christmas spirit.” He says, smiling when it at least makes Aaron laugh. “Come on, you have to like something about Christmas. What’s your favorite part?”

“I like buying the Christmas tree.” Aaron says slowly, moving his hands up to rest on Alex’s hips. “And decorating it. And I like all the lights. When I was little and living with my Uncle, every Christmas Eve I would sleep out in front of the tree. My Uncle thought it was because I wanted to catch Santa, but it was really so I could just look at the tree and the lights all night. I would build a blanket fort and everything.”

“That’s adorable.” Alex says, the image of a young Aaron wrapped in blankets and staring up at a Christmas tree in awe flitting through is mind. He wishes he could have seen that.

“Yeah, well, that was a long time ago. I don’t even buy a tree anymore.”

They sit there in silence for a while, Aaron apparently lost in though while Alex lets his hands run gently across his chest. He still feels nervous bringing anything up about Aaron’s past, about his life with Theodosia, knowing how painful it is for Aaron. But he needs to know their boundaries, needs to know what is ok for him to do and what’s not.

“Would it bother you if we bought a tree this year?” Alex asks slowly, biting his lip. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to, but I thought it would be nice.”

“It would be nice.” Aaron agrees, a small smile playing on his lips. “I think I would like that. Now, are you planning on letting me up anytime soon?”

Alex smiles and shakes his head. Instead of getting up, he rocks his hips down onto Aaron’s, smirking when Aaron’s hands tighten slightly on his hips. He rocks down again, moving his hands to Aaron’s shoulder so he has better leverage.

“I have a better idea, if you’re up for it?”

“And what is that?” Aaron breathes out, but he’s already moving his hips up to meet Alex’s.

“I was thinking,” Alex says as he leans down to nip at Aaron’s jaw, “that you could keep your promise about ‘next time’.” He rolls his hips down a little harder to get his point across, and Aaron lets out a quiet groan.

“I think I like your idea.” He whispers, and Alex smiles, moving his mouth to kiss at his neck as he simultaneously moves his hand to the waistband of Aaron’s sweatpants.

He hopes there are a lot of next times in their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this one (I feel slightly weird saying that about this specific chapter lol). I wonder how long the happiness will last...? ;)
> 
> Kudos are always appreciated, and comments/feedback are greatly loved. Thanks for reading!
> 
> ALSO to those of you who don't follow me on tumblr ( @fanciful-follies, message me for the name of my main blog ) I'm going on a two week vacation starting the 21st, and I won't be back until July 3rd, and there will be no updates during that time, hence why I've been doing more updates than usual. I will get one more out for you guys by Monday!
> 
> Thanks again! :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh this is just a selfish chapter for myself because I love Christmas.
> 
> Enjoy x

Two weeks.

They’ve been boyfriends for almost two weeks now, and Aaron is slowly starting to feel more and more comfortable with the idea. At first he had been nervous, worried that there would be some sort of guilt accompanying the fact that he’s moving on and dating someone else. Then he got worried that things would change between him and Alexander, that things would be different because they're dating.

But he finds that things are strangely the same as before.

Alexander still takes ridiculously long showers, still leaves his clothes on the floor no matter how many times Aaron tells him to pick them up, still rambles on and one when it’s clear that Aaron isn’t paying attention, still leaves his dishes on the table, and he still has hundreds of quirks that drive Aaron slightly crazy.

But Alexander also still sings when he showers, still tries to make Aaron dinner, still watches nature documentaries with him for hours and hours, still makes him smile with his stories, and he still makes Aaron’s apartment seem a little less empty.

And then there are new things too, things that Aaron hadn’t known he’d missed until he had them.

Like the way Alexander feels curled around him at night, or how there is always a cup of coffee out and waiting for him in the mornings now, or coming home every night and instantly being smothered with kisses, or having someone there to sit up with him when he can’t sleep, or the fact that he finally has someone to care about and someone to care about him.

It’s only been two weeks, but Aaron is happier than he’s been in a long time.

“What do you think about this tree?” Alexander asks from somewhere off to Aaron’s right.

Aaron shoves his hands further into his pockets as he walks over, the snow crunching under his feet and the wind blowing some of it off of the ground and high into the air. He finds Alexander next to a tall tree, staring up at it with intense determination.

“It looks ok.” Aaron says once he reaches him, but Alexander scowls and shakes his head.

“It can’t just be _ok_ , Aaron, it has to be perfect!”

“Ok, well then it’s perfect.”

“Nope! Too late!” Alexander grabs his arm and pulls him towards another tree. “You can’t change your score once you've already given it.”

Aaron makes a show of rolling his eyes as Alexander drags him to tree after tree, but as soon as Alexander turns away, Aaron lets a smile spread over his face. He might not admit it, but he’s happy that Alexander is making him do this. The holidays are always hard for Aaron. His thoughts tend to focus on his parents and on Theodosia, and he gets into a funk that is difficult to get out of. But Alexander seems set on making sure Aaron enjoys them this year.

In the past two weeks they had bought decorations, gone ice skating, watched every Christmas movie known to man, and had even had a snowball fight (if you can count Alexander throwing one snowball before Aaron tackled him to the ground a snowball fight). It had been strange at first, but Aaron slowly found that he was enjoying himself.

However, these events brought in new worries for Aaron; He's worried that he won't be able to make Alexander happy. 

It has been so long since Aaron has dated anyone seriously, and he's so worried that he is going to mess something up or do something wrong. He knows that he tends to shut people out, or push them away, and that's the last thing he wants to do to Alexander; he doesn't want to lose him again. But Aaron is suddenly feeling like he has no idea how to be a boyfriend. Alexander does all these wonderful things for him, but Aaron doesn't know how to repay him, and he's worried that Alexander will get upset if he doesn't. 

“Now _this_ is a perfect tree!”

Alexander’s exclamation pulls Aaron from his thoughts, and he goes to stand next to Alexander. The tree is pretty nice; its full, no bare spots, and has a good color to it. Aaron reaches out to squeezes Alexander’s hand and nods.

“I think this is the one.”

“You _think_ this is the-“

“It _is_ the one.” Aaron corrects himself quickly. He is having a good time looking for a tree, but they have been looking now for almost two hours and Aaron is starting lose feeling in his feet and hands. “Really, it’s perfect, we should get it.”

Alexander bounds forward, attempting to move the tree himself, but Aaron waves down one of the workers to help them get it ready and attached to the top of their car so they can drive home.

They decorate the tree the next evening. Alexander makes them hot chocolate and puts on Christmas music, and then he changes into a pair of snowflake pajama pants and forces Aaron to put on his matching pair, which Aaron does with a good amount of grumbling. 

“So what did you get me for Christmas?” Alexander asks as Aaron attempts to get a string of lights around his side of the tree.

“Nothing.” Aaron says, and then he smirks when he hears Alexander drop his string of lights from his side and curse under his breath. “Why would I tell you what I got you? You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“But will I like it?”

“No, Alexander.” Aaron says with a roll of his eyes. “I specifically got you a present that you are going to hate.” The words are sarcastic, but Aaron genuinely hopes that Alexander won’t hate his gift. He had gotten him a every season of Cutthroat Kitchen, and a few cookbooks since Alexander had been showing an interest in wanting to learn how to cook. “What did you get me?”

“Something awesome.” Alexander says, peering around the tree, his eyes full of excitement. “But I don’t have enough money for it just yet, so it’s like, on hold. But you’re gonna get it I promise, it just might take a year. But I got you something small too to tide you over.”

“So you’re telling me that _I_ have to wait like a year, but you’re mad that _you_ have to wait a few days?”

Alexander just smiles at him and shrugs before disappearing back behind the tree. They work in silence for the next few minutes, and then step away once the final string of lights is wrapped around the tree. They both step back and look up at it to admire their handiwork. 

“Oh yeah.” Alexander says with a nod. “That is a good tree.”

“We should have bought more lights.” Aaron comments, but he turns to smile at Alexander. “But it does look pretty good. We should put the star on.”

As they take the star out of the box and then turn back to look at the tree, they both seems to reach the same conclusion at the same time.

“Is it just me,” Alexander starts slowly, “or does this tree suddenly look much taller than it did when we bought it?” He cranes his head up. “Like…there is not room for the star even if we could reach it the top.”

“I guess we could just leave it off…” Aaron says, trailing off when Alexander takes the star from his hand and then climbs onto the couch, which is beside the tree. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna do the Elf thing.” Alexander says with a wide smile. “I’m gonna jump onto the tree.” He starts bouncing on the couch to emphasize his point.

“No you are not.” Aaron says with a laugh, shaking his head. “What else is in that hot chocolate you’re drinking? Get down. You are _not_ jumping on the tree.”

“Watch me.” He starts to bounce even harder, but before he can even attempt to do anything, Aaron steps forward and pushes him down onto the couch, both of them laughing as they fall in a tangle of limbs.

“Why are you such a handful?” Aaron asks as he pins Alexander’s arms down. “Hm? Why do you try so hard to drive me crazy?”

“Wasn’t really gonna do it.” Alexander breathes out, a teasing look in his eye. “I wasn’t gonna jump on the tree. I just wanted to give you a reason to jump on _me._ ”

Aaron snorts, but leans down to press his lips to Alexander’s. He kisses him for a few moments before pulling back, releasing his arms, and then smirking down at him.

“You don’t need to give me a reason. If you want it that bad, just ask.”

“Fine.” Alexander says, and then he’s smiling and blinking his eyes up at Aaron. “Then can we move this to the bedroom please?”

Aaron chuckles, but leans down to connect their mouths again.

-

Aaron is sitting at home when his phone starts to ring. He considers just letting it go to voicemail, he’s very comfortable in his position on the couch with a book in his lap, but then he sighs and sits up to answer it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Aaron!” Thomas’s voice crackles over the line. “I need you to do me a huge favor.

“What is it?” Aaron asks, hoping it’s not anything too elaborate.

“Okay, so you know I’m marrying James. Like James and I are getting married, we’re going to be husbands, we’re-“

“Thomas.”

“Right, sorry.” Thomas laughs. “I got carried away. But I made a guest list before going on vacation, and James and I were going to start making invitations, but I left the guest list at my house and I need you to go and find it.”

“Thomas.” Aaron groans, passing a hand over his eyes. “It’s Christmas Eve day, I don’t have time to do this.” Not necessarily true, he’s just feeling lazy. “Can’t it wait a few days?”

“No. Besides, my driver is already waiting outside for you.”

Aaron groans again but stands up to start putting on his shoes, knowing that he’s fighting a losing battle. He slips on his coat and then brings the phone back up to his ear.

“Why don’t you just have your driver look for the list?” Aaron asks. “Or just wait to do this list. Is it really that important?”

“It’s not my driver’s job to look for it.” Thomas responds. “But you, my friend, are my best man, and are expected to serve my every whim.”

“I don’t think that’s in the job description.” Aaron says dryly, but he walks over to the bedroom and peeks his head in to see Alexander sitting on the bed, his laptop in front of him as he types quickly. “Hey, I have to run to Thomas’s really quick. Do you want to come?”

“Let me think about that.” Alexander says sarcastically, scrunching his nose up in mock concentration. “Do I, Alexander Hamilton, want to take time out of my day to go to Thomas Jefferson’s house? Well, I certainly can’t think of something more _exciting_ than-“

“I’ll be back soon.” Aaron says, closing the door before Alexander can continue. He can hear Thomas on the other end, mumbling something along the lines of ‘amazing Alexander Hamilton can’t take time out of his special schedule, what an ass’ and he just rolls his eyes. “Thomas, I’ll call you when I find the list.”

“Alright! It’s written on a white piece of paper with some flowers bordering it. I honestly have no clue where I left it so just look everywhere. Start with my room.”

“Great.” Aaron mumbles as he hangs up and makes his way outside. He gets into the car that is there waiting for him, and thanks the driver once they arrive at Thomas’s house.

He makes his way inside and goes down one of the many long hallways until he finds Thomas’s room, sighing at the task before him. He looks on his dresser first, opening some of the drawers as well. When he has no luck there, Aaron looks briefly under the bed before moving onto the next room.

He’s searching the kitchen, still having no luck, when his phone starts to vibrate in his pocket. Knowing that it’s probably Thomas again, Aaron picks it up.

“I haven’t found it yet.” He says right away.

“Well keep looking. It’s there somewhere, I really need it.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have lost it.” Aaron says, starting to feel slightly annoyed. “I’ve been searching for like an hour, and all I’ve found is your stash of sex toys.” Aaron had meant it as a joke, but he hears Thomas splutter on the other end.

“You did not! I took them all with us and-oh…were you joking?”

“Oh my _god_.” Aaron says weakly, and pinches the bridge of his. “I did not need to know that about you. Like ever. Jesus.”

“Whoops.” Thomas says with a laugh, not even sounding the slightest bit ashamed. “We all have our secrets, Aaron. Now come on, keep looking. Try the main room.”

So Aaron walks to the main room, looks everywhere that Thomas tells him to, even under all of the couch cushions, but he still sees no list. After another hour of searching, Aaron throws up one of his hands in frustration, losing his last ounce of patience.

“That’s it!” He says loudly into his phone. “I’m done. I’m not looking anymore. Sorry, Thomas, but it’s nowhere. I’m going home and-“

“NO!”

“Jesus Christ, Thomas, don’t shout so loud . I’ll look for the list later, alright? I’m tired.”

“No!” Thomas says again, and Aaron narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to respond, but Thomas cuts him off. “You can’t go home.”

“What do you mean I can’t go home? Thomas, what are you talking about? Why can’t I leave?”

“Because….because I love you! I’m desperately in love with you.”

“Thomas, shut the fuck up.” Aaron says with a laugh, and Thomas sighs dramatically on the other end. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“I’m supposed to be distracting you.”

“Distracting me? Distracting me from what?”

“Apparently Hamilton is planning some romantic surprise for you, I don’t know, he wouldn’t give me details, but he made me promise to get you out of the house for a few hours.”

“Oh.” Aaron can feel the smile spreading across his face, but then a small amount of anxiety seeps in. “He’s not doing anything too over the top, is he? Like I’m not going to come back and find my apartment in ruins?”

“With Hamilton, anything is possible.” Thomas says darkly. “But like I said, I don’t know the details. Just grab something from my fridge and watch TV until I text you and say you can go home.”

Aaron hangs up and sits down with a huff on Thomas’s couch, his stomach still fluttering from the news. He’s never been a huge fan of surprises, but it’s also strangely sweet that Alexander went through so much trouble to plan whatever it is. It’s especially impressive that he reached out to Thomas for help. However, all of this is making Aaron feel guilty again for not doing things for Alexander in return. But he doesn't know even know what to do. 

He sits back and forces himself to try and relax for another forty-five minutes until he gets a brief text from Thomas, telling him that the coast is clear. So he gets back into the car with Thomas’s driver and heads home, his mind swirling with ideas of what the surprise could be. Aaron gets to his door, takes a deep breath to prepare himself, and then unlocks it.

The first thing he notices are that the lights are off, which is strange, but suddenly other lights are being turned on, and Aaron stares dumbfounded into his living room; there are Christmas lights everywhere, literally everywhere. They are lining the walls, casting a warm glow around the room, and there are even some wrapped around the kitchen table and the counters. But what catches Aaron’s attention the most is the small blanket fort that has been set up, right in front of the tree.

“Hi.”

Aaron jumps at the voice, but then looks back over to the kitchen to see Alexander standing there, biting his lip and shifting on his feet.

“Alexander…what…what is this?”

“Well, you said that we should have bought more lights when we were decorating the tree, so I figured that I would go out and buy more lights and surprise you because you told me how much you like lights and I just really wanted this Christmas to be nice.” Alexander is speaking fast, twisting his hands and looking at Aaron with wide eyes. “And then I started thinking about the story you told me about how you would sleep in front of the tree and you looked really happy when you were telling it so I thought I would try to re-create that too and…” Alexander falters, suddenly looking a little nauseous, “and oh god, this is probably really weird I’m so sorry, I’ll take it down.”

Before Alexander can even take one step, Aaron moves in front of him and cups his face before slotting their mouths together.

Alexander makes a surprised noise, but then his arms are circling around Aaron’s waist and pulling him a little closer. Aaron breathes in through his nose, keeping his lips pressed against Alexander’s a little longer before pulling back slightly so he can rest his forehead against his.

“I love it.” He whispers, trying to swallow around the lump that had formed in his throat. “Really, it’s amazing, Alexander. Thank you so much.” He kisses him softly one more time before stepping back, and Alexander is smiling up at him now.

“I also tried to make you dinner, but I burned it.”

Aaron chuckles and steps farther back so he can take off his coat. As he turns away to hang it up, he tries to calm down the flow of emotions that are suddenly building inside of him; he’s never had anyone do something like this for him, and it’s slightly overwhelming.

“Anyway,” Alexander continues from behind him, “after my failed attempt I just ordered some take-out. I figured we could eat it in the blanket fort and then watch a movie on my laptop. But first…” Alexander’s arms suddenly wrap around Aaron from the back. Then Alexander is pressing his lips to the side of his neck. “You should change into something more comfortable. I’m sure spending several hours with Jefferson yapping in your ear has been stressful, so you deserve to relax.”

Aaron smiles to himself as Alexander moves away from him, not bothering to bring up the point that if Alexander hadn’t asked Thomas for help with this whole thing, then Aaron wouldn’t have had to spend three hours looking for a list that didn’t actually exist. But Aaron finds that he doesn’t care about any of that. He looks around at the lights one more time before going into the bedroom and changing into some pajamas.

When he walks back out, Alexander is holding two plates of food, and he gestures with his head for Aaron to enter the blanket fort before him. Aaron does, marveling at the amount of pillows and blanket inside, and then Alexander follows him in, handing him his own plate.

Aaron rolls his eyes when he sees that Alexander has Elf queued up on his laptop; they had watched it once already, but Alexander sees his face and pouts slightly.

“It’s a Christmas classic.”

“Just press play, Alexander.” Aaron says with a laugh as he starts to eat his food.

He enjoys the movie, but that’s mostly in part to the way that Alexander mumbles the lines under his breath for the majority of it, and Aaron can’t stop looking over at him when he laughs loudly during a scene. Aaron smiles to himself as he watches the movie, suddenly feeling almost overwhelmingly happy. 

There’s a warm feeling slowly spreading throughout Aaron’s chest, a feeling that he had always associated with the holidays but hasn’t felt in years. It catches him off guard, feeling it so suddenly, but he’s missed it so much. He hugs his knees to his chest, feeling a strange desire to cry, but he holds it back.

They start to watch Miracle on 34th Street after they finish eating. They curl up onto the pillows and huddle under the blankets together. Positioned this way, Aaron has a great view of the tree and all of the lights, and he feels a swirl of emotions rise in him again. He presses his face into Alexander’s shoulder as he tries to keep his breathing steady, but the tears start coming anyway, and it doesn’t take long for Alexander to notice.

“Aaron?” Alexander adjusts them so he can look down at Aaron, concern on his face. “Are you…oh god, you _do_ hate this. It made you uncomfortable, didn’t it? I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t hate it.” Aaron says through his tears, wiping his cheeks with his hands.

“But you’re crying!”

“I know!” Aaron lets out a small, watery laugh, and then he turns his head so he can stare over at Alexander. “I don’t even know why I am, but it’s not because I don’t like this.”

Alexander sits up and crosses his legs, and Aaron sighs before shifting and doing the same. He sniffs, and lets out a slow, heavy breath. He knows Alexander is waiting for him to explain, but he doesn’t even know how to start.

“Aaron…” Alexander puts one of his hands over his. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I just...” Aaron squeezes his eyes shut momentarily as he takes a deep breath. “No one has ever done something like this for me before. I…I’ve been so nervous about this relationship, not because it makes me uncomfortable or because I don't want to be in it, but because I’m worried I’m not doing it right. You know I haven’t dated anyone in a long time, and I just…I’m worried that you aren’t happy, and then you do stuff like this for me and it’s…it’s just really nice and I don't know what to do in return.” He laughs again at how ridiculous he must sound, but when he opens his eyes, Alexander is looking at him seriously.

“You’re doing great.” He whispers, running his fingers gently over the back of his hand. “You're a great boyfriend, and I'm not expecting you to repay me for stuff like this, I like doing it. I’m _happy_. And…and I just want you to be happy too.”

Aaron nods, and then he crawls onto Alexander’s lap and puts his hands on the back of his neck so he can pull him up to connect their mouths. Alexander’s hands are firm on his waist, grounding him, and Aaron opens his mouth against his, running his tongue over Alexander’s bottom lip. Then he moves to pull back, Alexander’s teeth tugging gently on his lower lip as he does.

“I am happy.” Aaron murmurs, tracing Alexander’s cheek with his hand. “I love all of this so much, I love it, I…” He pauses, moving his hands so he can tilt Alexander’s head up so he’s staring right at him. “I kind of really like you, Alexander.”

“I kind of really like you too.” Alexander says, his voice breaking slightly. But he smiles before leaning forward to press his lips back to Aaron’s.

They kiss deeply, and then Alexander is pushing Aaron onto his back, climbing over him. Aaron tugs Alexander’s shirt off, and Alexander’s hands go to the waistband of Aaron’s sweatpants, trailing over his lower stomach. He looks at Aaron before going further, but Aaron nods hastily, throwing his own shirt off before running his hands down Alexander’s back.

This time is different than usual; they take things slowly, running hands over skin and kissing everywhere that their lips can reach. Alexander is so gentle when he moves inside of him, and Aaron holds him close, whispering things into his ear that make Alexander shiver. Aaron comes without even being touched, and Alexander follows soon after, chanting Aaron’s name over and over.

Alexander cleans them both up afterwards, and then he’s pulling the covers back over them. He tugs Aaron over so he can push himself against his chest, and Aaron hums as he wraps his arms around Alexander, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

Alexander falls asleep quickly, but Aaron stays up longer, willing his eyes to stay open. He stays awake as long as possible, until the lights from the tree start to blur, and then he pulls Alexander closer, smiling to himself as he starts to drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I want you guys to remember how you felt reading this chapter. Cherish those feelings, cherish the happiness. (cause it's gonna end)
> 
> Also sorry if there were any typos, my eyes were like falling shut when I edited it.
> 
> ONE MORE CHAPTER BEFORE I GO ON VACATION! Look for it monday night or tuesday morning. Thanks for reading, love reading your comments, and kudos are appreciated. Come follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies, where my blog has suddenly turned into a jeffmads blog


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Alex being a huge dick in this chapter
> 
> Enjoy x

_~ One month later ~_

“So what do you want for your birthday?” Alex asks as he finishes his first cup of coffee, Aaron already handing him his second, which he takes with an appreciative smile. “It’s in less than two weeks and you still haven’t given me any ideas.”

“Here’s an idea, how about the Christmas present you still haven’t given me?”

“Nope, pick something else.” Alex takes a sip from his cup and smacks his lips. “I told you that present is going to take awhile, but it’ll be worth it. So come on, give me ideas. Or at least tell me what you want to do for your birthday. Should I get a big group of us together? Or do you just want it to be you and me?” Alex asks with wink, making Aaron roll his eyes.

“Well, you aren’t exactly on speaking terms with Laurens, so I’m guessing he wouldn’t be down for coming, which probably excludes Mulligan and Lafayette as well.”

Aaron’s words make Alex wince, but he nods. It’s true; things between him and John have been tense to say the least. They haven’t been alone in the same room since everything at Jefferson’s party, and he’s sure that asking him to come to Aaron’s birthday party probably wouldn’t make things any better between them.

“And then I don’t know about Thomas or James.” Aaron continues, making Alex focus back on him. “Last time I checked in, James was still feeling under the weather.”

“He’s been sick for like a week, what does he have?”

“Not sure.” Aaron shrugs. “His immune system has always been bad, even a small cold can really affect him. But I’m sure he’ll be fine, he just needs time and rest.”

“Alright." Alex says as he leans back in his chair. "So then I guess it looks like you’re just stuck with me.”

“Lucky me.” Aaron says dryly, but he smiles at Alex and stands up from his seat. “Angelica will be picking me up soon, but I’ll see you when I get home for more party planning.”

“You’re going in an hour early?” Alex asks with a whine, pushing his lower lip out in a pout. “You’re no fun.”

“Sorry, but this divorce case is a lot to deal with. And I promised Angelica I would give it my all, although I didn’t realize how exhausting giving my all would be.”

Alex nods, but hides his smile behind his cup; Aaron might complain, but Alex knows how much he’s enjoying working Maria Reynolds’s divorce case. It’s given him a boost of confidence, and has made him a lot happier.

“So be honest with me.” Alex says, leaning forward again as Aaron tugs on his shoes. “Are Maria and Angelica definitely a thing? I know you have your suspicions, and well, they aren’t exactly subtle about it.” Alex had been out at the grocery a few days ago, and had run into Maria and Angelica, both of them holding the others hand.

“Well they need to start being subtle.” Aaron says with a sigh. “Divorce cases are messy, and if Maria wants to take her husband for all he’s got, then it’s probably best if she doesn’t walk around arm in arm with Angelica. It doesn’t make her look good.”

“But they're _in love._ ” Alex says, making a tsking sound before smiling at Aaron. “They're cute together, and you’re being a killjoy.”

“I’m not, I’m just being practical, they can’t just-“ Aaron is cut off by his phone ringing. He answers, repeating hello a few times into it before shrugging and ending the call.

“You’ve been getting a lot of those lately.” Alex observes. “What is that, the fourth one this week?”

“Probably someone just trying to sell me something.” Aaron says with another shrug. He leans over and presses a quick kiss to Alex’s lips. “I’ll be back later tonight, try not to set the house on fire while I’m gone.”

“Oh, look at you.” Alex croons, placing a hand on his heart. “My big, important boyfriend going off to work, bringing home the bread while I hold down the house. How will I survive these next hours without you?”

Aaron flips him off before grabbing his coat and walking out of the door.

-

When Aaron gets home later that night, he looks more tired than usual. Alex sits him down at the table and starts making them something to eat, propping open one of the many cookbooks that Aaron had gotten him for Christmas. He’s just setting the plates on the table when there’s a knock at the door. Alex waves a hand to signal for Aaron to stay sitting, and he walks over to the door and pulls it open.

Standing in the hallway is a tall figure Alex doesn’t recognize; his dark hair is windswept, and he pushes it out of his face hastily once Alex opens the door, and then flashes him a kind, but uncertain smile.

“Hi.” He says hesitantly after a few more moments. “Uhm, I’m looking for Aaron Burr? Does he still live here?”

“He does.” Alex confirms, not moving from his spot in the doorway and eyeing the man warily. “What do you need?”

“I’m an old friend.” The man says with another smile, his dark eyes lighting up a little as those words leave him. “Sorry if this is a bad time, but I was in the neighborhood and I thought I would try my luck and stop by. Is he home?”

“What’s your name?” Alex asks, still not moving from his spot and wishing that the hallway wasn’t so dimly lit so he could get a better look at the man.

“Oh, sorry. I’m J-“

“Jonathan?” Aaron’s voice from behind him makes Alex jump, and he turns to see Aaron staring at the man with surprised eyes, but then he’s breaking out into a wide smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Aaron!” The other man, Jonathan, squeezes past Alex and then him and Aaron are hugging, both of them laughing breathlessly as they break apart. “God, it’s good to see you. I tried calling you a few times earlier this week, but my phone is a piece of shit and kept dropping the call. I hope it’s ok I’m here?” He trails off at the end, looking between Aaron and Alex with a bashful smile.

“Of course it is!” Aaron says, squeezing Jonathan’s arm, which makes Alex narrow his eyes and bite the inside of his cheek. He clears his throat loudly, and Aaron looks over at him in surprise, like he’d forgotten he was there. “Oh! Sorry, Jonathan this is Alexander, my boyfriend. Alexander, this is Jonathan Bellamy, my friend from high school. Remember when I told you about him?”

“Your boyfriend?” Bellamy asks before Alex can say anything. His eyes look Alex up and down before going back to Aaron. “Well, you certainly have a lot to catch me up on.” He moves towards Alex and holds out his hand, which Alex shakes, still biting the inside of his cheek, thinking about how Aaron had tactfully used the word friend instead of ex-boyfriend to describe his relationship with Bellamy.

“Nice to meet you.” He manages to mumble out shortly before Bellamy is turning back to Aaron.

“I’m sorry for just barging in on you two. Really, I can come back another time if that’s better.”

“No, don’t be ridiculous!” Aaron says as Alex starts to open his mouth to tell Bellamy that yes, this is a bad time. “Stay for dinner, we have plenty of food.” He takes Bellamy's arm again and leads him to the kitchen.

Alex huffs out an angry breath, but follows the two of them over to the table, narrowing his eyes at the back of Bellamy’s head when he takes the seat next to Aaron.

“So tell me why you’re here!” Aaron asks, looking at Bellamy like he still can't believe the man is sitting next to him. It makes Alex slump down moodily in his seat. “This is such a surprise, I thought you were still living in California?”

“I was, up until like two weeks ago. I got a job here, as a principal at one of the high schools.”

“Principal? I thought you went to college for Business?”

“I did.” Bellamy says with a small, somewhat sad laugh. “But life works in weird ways, and now here I am, back in New York.”

“Are you staying?” Alex cuts in, stabbing his fork a little too hard into his food, making it scrape against the plate. “Like, this job is permanent?”

“I certainly hope so.” Bellamy says, smiling. “I love being back in New York. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it.” His eyes trail over to Aaron, and Alex scowls down into his plate.

“Have you always lived here?” Alex asks after a beat, not really caring for an answer, but he doesn’t want Jonathan looking at Aaron the way that he is, so Alex hopes his question will distract him.

“No, actually. I was born in Yiyang, a city in Hunan, China. My parents moved us to New York when I was about seven. Then I went to California for college and lived there for awhile, up until now of course.”

“You ever think about going back to China?” Alex asks, praying that the answer is yes, but Bellamy just shrugs and takes a bite of his food.

“I visit it every now and then, but I’m not sure if I’d move back permanently.” He takes a drink of water and then turns back to Aaron. “Did you make all of this food? Cause this is really good.”

“Actually, Alexander did.” Aaron says, and the pride in his voice makes Alex’s jealousy lessen, if only for a moment. “He’s been learning how to cook and has been doing really well."

"Remember when we took that cooking class in high school? Our freshman year?” Jonathan asks, ignoring Aaron’s last comment. “And everyone was always burning stuff and there you were, whipping out four course meals every day. That’s how you caught my attention.”

“Oh shut up.”

“It is! I remember seeing you eating alone in the cafeteria after our first class, and I walked up to you and…do you remember what I said?”

“Something along the lines of ‘surely a man who can cook like you do should have a whole table of friends surrounding him?’” Aaron laughs and shakes his head. “And then you sat down next to me and wouldn’t leave me alone for the next four years.”

“Hey, I saved your ass in high school.” Jonathan says, pointing a finger at Aaron. “People thought you were just some weird kid who managed to skip a couple grades, but I knew better. You had no friends till I came along, so you’re welcome.”

“All I remember is you being a pain in the ass.” Aaron jokes. “Seriously, remember when we went shopping for tuxedos for prom? You made me try on at least fifty of them.”

“Prom is once in a lifetime, I just wanted you to look your best.”

“Oh please, you just wanted to find a tux similar to the one you found on pinterest that you made me look at a hundred times.”

“It was a nice tux! You would have looked amazing in that. I mean, you looked amazing in every tux, but still. That one was amazing, I still look for it whenever I’m out.”

Alex watches them converse easily back and forth for the remainder of the dinner. As soon as one story is over, and Alex thinks that they can’t possibly have another, they prove him wrong and start discussing another memory from high school, making it impossible for him to join in. After over an hour of listening to them talking and laughing, Alex stands up from the table, causing both men to look over at him.

“I’m tired.” He mumbles, avoiding Aaron’s eye. He's suddenly feeling very insignificant, and he wants nothing more than to leave the room. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Is everything alright?” Aaron asks, and Alex just nods, not wanting to explain what he’s feeling, at least not right now.

“Well I don’t want to keep you up with our talking.” Bellamy says, and Alex almost says thank you, but then Bellamy keeps going. “Would it be alright if I stole Aaron for a few hours to keep catching up? I promise I’ll get him back at a reasonable hour.”

For a split second, Alex considers snapping out at Bellamy, telling him no, he can't take Alex's boyfriend out for a few hours, especially not when he's been eye fucking him from his seat for the past hour. But then Alex sees Aaron looking up at him, an excited smile on his face, and Alex’s anger deflates a tiny amount. Aaron hasn’t seen Bellamy in years, and Alex is just being jealous for no reason. He might not know Bellamy, but he can trust Aaron.

“That’s fine.” Alex says quickly before he can change his mind. “Have fun.” And then he turns on his heel and walks into the bedroom, flopping onto the bed without even changing, still feeling a dull pang of jealousy in his chest. 

Despite how much he wants to, Alex can’t fall asleep, and he stays awake listening for Aaron to come home. But an hour passes, then another, and then another, and he’s still not back. Alex grabs a pillow and hugs it tightly to his chest, feeling some of his jealousy turn to anger. 

Once he finally manages to fall sleep, Aaron still hasn’t returned.

-

The next two weeks push Alex’s patience to its limit.

Bellamy is suddenly around all the time, and when he’s not actually in their apartment, he’s calling Aaron to talk on the phone for hours. Alex can feel the jealousy burning under his skin, and the most annoying thing throughout all of this is that Bellamy isn’t a bad guy, in fact, he’s basically fucking perfect. But that’s what makes Alex so mad, the fact that he can’t even hate the guy. But he _can_ be jealous of him.

Things had been going so well with him and Aaron the past month, but now things are changing. Alex thinks he can see Aaron starting to gravitate towards Bellamy, and Alex can’t help but feel like he’s being left behind and this causes so much snger to rise up in him. But Aaron still kisses Alex, still holds him close at night, still smiles at him every morning and hands him his coffee, and all of this just confuses Alex more and more, adding to the jumbled mess of emotions already inside of him.

This always happens. Alex _always_ finds something wrong with a relationship after the first month or so even if nothing is really wrong; He just _expects_ something to go wrong, and this leads him to creating a problem even if one doesn't exist yet. And that makes this situation more difficult, because he can’t tell if he’s making up the way that Aaron is looking at Bellamy, can’t tell if he actually has a reason to feel jealous. So when Aaron asks if it bothers him that he’s spending time with Bellamy, Alex just smiles through clenched teeth and tells him no, because he’s worried that this is all nothing, and that he’s just overreacting. He doesn't want to create a problem if there really isn't one. 

But after more and more time passes, Alex’s anger just grows and grows, and he can feel a bitter, jealous feeling blooming in his stomach each time Aaron sees or mentions Bellamy. He suddenly feels like he's competing with Bellamy for Aaron's attention, and he hates feeling that way. Alex hates himself for this, but he's felt like he's been competing with Aaron's past since the beginning of their relationship, ever since he found out about Theodosia. 

He knows it's stupid, but Alex feels like he'll never have with Aaron what Aaron had with Theodosia. She had been Aaron's whole life, and how can Alex compete with that? How can he make Aaron care about him as much as he had cared about her? He knows it's awful of him to feel this way, knows that Aaron is trying his best, but Alex feels like he'll never be good enough, that he'll never live up to the people of Aaron's past. And that feeling only grows as Aaron spends more and more time with Bellamy. 

The only way Alex manages to not explode is by throwing himself into his work. He starts going in early to the office and staying late so he doesn’t think about things as much. It's the only way he manages to keep his anger hidden and bottled up. 

One morning, however, Alex wakes up with an aching head and his eyes are heavy due to the lack of sleep he had gotten the previous night. Aaron hadn’t gotten home till late, out with Bellamy again, and Alex hadn’t been able to sleep until he got home. As soon as he opens his eyes, Alex can feel anger and anxiety bubbling under his skin, and he knows that today isn’t going to be a good day.

He disengages from Aaron’s arms, which are wrapped around him, and quickly eats and gets dressed, wanting to leave for work before Aaron wakes up. Alex is overwhelmed by a desire to just be away from Aaron today, to be out of the apartment that has started to feel so claustrophobic.

His mood only seems to get worse throughout the day. When Aaron texts him saying that he’s sorry he missed him in the morning, Alex chooses not to respond. Then an hour later he gets another text, Aaron saying that he’s out with Bellamy for the afternoon but will be back before Alex is done with work. Alex still doesn’t respond, just turns his phone off with a scowl.

After work, Alex decides to go and see if John and Herc are home, not wanting to go back to the apartment and hearing about what a wonderful time Aaron had with Bellamy. He thinks he could go the rest of his life without seeing or hearing about Bellamy and it would still be too soon.

When he knocks on Herc and John’s door, it’s John who answers, shifting awkwardly on his feet when he sees Alex. He stares at him, a rapid succession of emotions crossing his face in just a matter of seconds. Alex knows that he should leave, that he shouldn't go into the room alone with John, but his emotions are still running in a jumbled mess and his brain doesn't seem to want to make good decisions right now.

“Hey.” John says after a few moments, opening the door a little wider.

“Hey.” Alex echoes with a small smile, biting his lip as John just continues to stare at him. Alex rolls on the balls of his feet as he debates whether or not it’s a good idea to stay. Deep down he knows it's not, but he feels reckless, feels like doing something stupid. It only takes him a few more moments to come to a decision. “Uhm, is it ok if I come in?”

John nods and steps back, leading Alex further into the house, and then motioning him for him to sit with him on the couch, which Alex does after a small moment of hesitation. This is the first time he’s been alone with John since Jefferson’s party, and he’s not really sure what to say. He stares down at his hands, his chest feeling strangely tight.

“How…how are you?' John asks him, breaking the tense silence and making Alex look up at him. “You seem…well, you look like something’s on your mind.”

“It’s nothing.” Alex shrugs. “Things have just been sort of weird with me and Aaron lately and…” Alex trails off momentarily when John clenches his jaw at the mention of Aaron’s name. “And I don’t know what to do about it. And-”

“Alex.” John says his name quietly but firmly. “I’m sorry, I…I want to help but I really…I don’t think I’m the person to come to with your relationship problems, not when I still feel…” Now John trails off, and Alex can’t help but think in the back of his mind that he really shouldn’t have come here, that he should leave before…

“I miss you.” Alex whispers, ignoring that gnawing, guilty feeling in his chest as he shifts slightly so he's moving closer and can look at John better. “I really miss you John. I hate how things are between us right now.”

“I miss you too.” John murmurs, smiling at Alex and looking at him through his eyelashes. “And I’m sorry for spilling all that on you during Jefferson’s party. I know it wasn’t exactly the ideal time or place to do it.”

Alex laughs loudly at that, and John’s smile grows wider, chuckling softly himself. They sit there in a comfortable silence for a moment, then John’s reaching out a hand and taking Alex’s. He brushes his thumb over the back of it, making Alex shift in his seat again. He shouldn’t be here, he thinks wildly to himself, but he still doesn’t leave.

“Alex.” John says, not looking at him. “I really miss you…and…and I want to talk more about what I said at Jefferson’s party. I…you’re my best friend, and…”

“You’re my best friend too, John.” Alex says, giving his hand a small squeeze. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “And I’ll always be here for you. Always. That is, if you still want me?”

John’s eyes slowly move to look over at him, and Alex sees his adams apple bob as he swallows. Alex knows what's going to happen, he can feel it in the air, and still he doesn't move. He wants it to happen. In a sudden blur of movement, John has a hand on Alex’s neck and is pulling him in, their lips touching in a soft kiss.

Alex tenses up at first. He knows he should pull back, but Aaron’s smile when he had first seen Bellamy flashes in his mind, and Alex feels jealousy rise in him again. So when John’s tongue is licking across his lips, Alex parts them and grants him access. They kiss slowly for a few more moments before John pulls back slightly, breathing hard. He looks at Alex, his pupils already blown, and Alex feels himself nod before he can actually think sensibly about what he’s agreeing to do.

John’s mouth is back on his in a hurry, and Alex moves one of his hands to rest on John’s thigh as they deepen the kiss. John nips at his lower lip, and Alex can feel another emotion spreading through him, one that makes his stomach twist but he still doesn’t pull away. Instead he kisses John harder, swallowing the small noises coming from his lips and moving his hand farther up his thigh. It’s only once John moans loudly and moves as if he’s about to crawl into his lap that Alex suddenly jolts back to his senses.

He pushes himself away from John, swearing when it causes John to bite down a little too hard on his lip.

“Shit.” Alex says, standing up, his heart pounding in his chest. What had he just done? “Oh my god.”

“Alex.” John is standing too, his voice breathless. He reaches a hand out. “Alex, wait.”

But Alex shakes his head, everything feeling like it’s spinning. What the fuck did he just _do?_ Before John can say anything or get any closer, Alex stumbles over to the door, opening it and quickly running out.

He drives home with his hands shaking on the wheel and his stomach churning as he screams at himself in his head. Why did he do that? Why does he always do this? Why does he do such stupid shit all the time? _Because I wanted a reason to fight_ , Alex thinks to himself, and it's true. He had known what John would do if he talked to him alone, and still he had gone because he wanted a reason to fight with Aaron, a way to make him feel the way that he'd been feeling these past two weeks.

As he reaches the apartment building and gets into the elevator, Alex’s thoughts start coming so fast. He won’t tell Aaron what happened, he can’t tell Aaron, it would destroy him. Alex had acted rashly, hadn't thought this whole thing through. All thoughts of fighting with Aaron leave him in a rush. The kiss had been a mistake, and it would never happen again, so he won't tell Aaron, won't tell anyone.

Alex reaches their door and takes a deep breath in order to calm himself before unlocking it and walking in. He's still so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice Aaron is sitting on the couch until he’s standing up, a strange look on his face that Alex is too tired to try and interpret.

“You’re still up.” He says as he closes the door, dropping his bag on the ground. He lets his eyes drop to the floor, worried that Aaron would be able to tell what had happened as soon as he looks at him.

“Yeah.” Aaron responds, his voice sounding strange as well. “I’m still up. Where were you?”

“Sorry about missing your texts, but work went late.” A lie, but Aaron doesn’t need to know, it's better he doesn't know. Alex drops his keys and phone onto the counter. “There’s just been a lot of stuff to do lately. Anyway, I’m exhausted so I’m going to bed.” He kisses Aaron quickly on the cheek, noting how stiffly the other man is standing before he goes into their room and changes his clothes.

As he's changing, Alex hears a noise behind him and turns around to see Aaron leaning against the doorframe, his face strangely empty. Alex doesn't want to talk, still has so many emotions going through him, but he raises an eyebrow in question anyway as he pulls a shirt over his head.

“Do you know what today is?” Aaron asks him slowly. “Like, is this a joke?”

“What are you-“

“It’s my birthday.” Aaron says, and Alexander’s heart freezes momentarily. “It’s my birthday, and you completely forgot about it, didn't you?”

“Aaron…” Alexander closes his eyes and then swears under his breath, a fresh wave of guilt washing over him. “I’m, I’m sorry. Just-“

“What the fuck has been going on with you lately?” Aaron snaps, cutting him off and making Alex flinch. “You’re barely here, and when you are you’re always in an awful mood. So what’s been going on with you?”

“Oh,  _I’m_ barely here?” Alexander asks with a laugh, feeling the anger he had felt that morning slowly starting to unfurl in his chest.“That’s funny, coming from you. _You’re_ barely here, you’re always out with _him_.”

“What’re you-“

“Don’t try to act like it’s not true!” Alex says with a sneer. He knows he needs to calm down, but he can't. “Every single fucking day Bellamy is coming over here or you’re going out with him and I’m sick of it! I hate it.”

“I…that's what all of this is about? You never said anything!” Aaron says, throwing up his hands in frustration. “You told me you were fine with it! Why didn’t you tell me it bothered you?”

“You should know!” Alex shouts loudly, stepping closer to Aaron as his control starts to slip. “You should know that you hanging out with your ex bothers me. Why the fuck wouldn’t it?”

“Jon is just my friend, Alexander, and-“

“Bullshit.” Alex says with another laugh, this one sounding crazy even to his own ears. “That’s bullshit and you know it.” He pushes past Aaron and walks into the kitchen, searching for a glass and swearing when he can’t find one. “Why the fuck aren’t there ever any clean dishes?”

“Maybe because you are never here to help me with them.” Aaron says from behind him, and Alex snorts and rolls his eyes. But then Aaron’s hands are on his shoulders, turning him around so they’re staring at each other.

“What?” Alex snaps, not wanting to do this. He can’t have this conversation right now, not after everything that happened today. He’s going to explode, going to break and ruin everything. He can feel it.

“We need to talk about this.” Aaron says firmly. “I’m sorry for hanging out with Jon so much, but I honestly didn’t know it made you upset. I can’t read your mind, ok? So I’m sorry.” Aaron leans forward slowly, probably intending to kiss him, but Alex flinches back, his mouth opening before he can stop himself.

“I kissed John!” He says loudly. “Tonight. I wasn’t at work, I was with him, and we kissed.”

Aaron stares at him with blank eyes, and Alex isn’t sure if he heard him, but then he feels Aaron's hands tighten on his shoulders, making him wince. Then Aaron’s stepping back, letting his arms fall at his sides.

“You what?” He asks, his voice trembling and his posture rigid.

“I…” Alex swallows, his mouth feeling dry. “John kissed me, and I...I let him do it.”

“You let him.” Aaron repeats, and then he’s laughing, the noise bouncing off the walls of their apartment. Alex stands there watching in silence until Aaron passes a hand over his eyes, managing to compose himself. When he looks back over at him, Alex cringes, seeing the barely controlled rage and hurt behind Aaron’s eyes. “So you don’t want me hanging out with my ex, but you go and cheat on me with yours? Please, tell me the logic behind that.”

“I didn’t cheat, I just-“

“Please stop there.” Aaron says, holding up a hand. “Didn’t cheat? You fucking _kissed_ Laurens, Alexander. On my birthday, a day that was supposed to be special, you willingly went to Laurens’s house and kissed him, so don’t tell me you didn’t cheat.”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t acting like you were going to leave me for Bellamy!” Alex yells, the tiny grasp he still had on his emotions starting to slip rapidly. “Maybe you should think about that! But you’ve been too busy spending every waking moment with Bellamy, how do I know you haven’t been kissing him?”

“You’re blaming me?” Aaron asks incredulously. “I haven’t done anything with Jonathan. I’m _your_ boyfriend, Alexander, and I care about you too much to ever think about doing something like that behind your back. And I thought you cared too much about me to do what you did."

“Oh please.” Alex sneers. “You don’t care about me. You’re so goddamn happy to have Bellamy back in your life, you were just waiting for something better to come along. You barely even look at me anymore!”

“That’s not true, you know that’s not true. I don’t want Jonathan, Alexander. I want you!”

“You don’t care about me.” Alex repeats, finally saying what had been eating away at him for the last two weeks. His hands shake as he steps forward. “You don’t, and fine. Whatever. I get it. You never appreciate what you have right in front of you! How am I supposed to have a relationship with you when you’re like that?”

“I’m not appreciating what I have?” Aaron asks with another laugh as he looks at Alexander with disbelieving eyes. “You’re the one that cheated, Alexander, so don’t put this on me. I’ve been doing nothing but pushing my past away since we started dating. I’ve been trying so hard to make space for you and-“

“Well you need to try harder!” Alex says, his voice breaking slightly. “Do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling this week? You’re never here, you stay out late with Bellamy every night, and I’m alone, and I hate it! I hate it. And you seem fine with that.” Alex says, biting down on his cheek as Aaron watches him with slight shock. “It seems like you don’t even care that I’m hurting.”

“I didn’t _know_ you were hurting.” Aaron argues, moving forward like he’s going to touch him, but Alex steps back and shakes his head. “I didn’t know, Alexander.”

“But you should have.” Alex says softly, so many emotions swirling inside of him. “And the fact that you didn’t just shows you don’t care enough to pay attention to me. So yeah, I went and did something stupid to try and get your attention, but I didn't know what else to do.”

“You should have talked to me, not gone and kissed Laurens out of petty revenge." Aaron snaps, but then he sighs, looking at Alex with tired eyes. "Alexander, listen. I’m sorry you felt like this, I am! But Jonathan coming back was a surprise, and I just go so swept up in it, and I’m-“

“Oh just save it.” Alex snaps out. “I’m always competing and I hate it! I’ve been competing for your attention since the very beginning, and I’m done.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Aaron asks with a snort. “How have you _always_ been competing?”

“You know how.” Alex says coldly. Everything that had been building inside him these past two weeks is suddenly coming to the brim, and Alex can’t keep it in anymore. “It’s not just Bellamy, it’s Theodosia too!”

The room suddenly feels like it's getting smaller, like the walls closing in as Aaron's eyes snap to his. Alex watches him open and close his mouth a few times, no words coming out. But Alex's anger is still strong, and can't stop himself from continuing even though he knows that he needs to stop before he goes too far.

“You’re so stuck in your goddamn past all the time.” Alex spits out at Aaron. “You love her more than you’ll ever love me, and it’s the same with Bellamy. I’ll never be be able to live up to them because you put them up on a pedestal.”

Aaron continues to just stand there, breathing heavily and looking over Alex’s shoulder at a space on the wall, his eyes wide. For some reason that just makes Alex angrier. Why won’t he look at him? Why won’t Aaron say anything? Why isn’t he telling Alex that he’s wrong, that he _can_ love Alex just as much?

 _Because it's not true_ , Alex thinks to himself. Aaron will never care about him as much as he cares about Theodosia and Bellamy. Alex isn't good enough. 

“Maybe I should just go die in a car crash, that would get your attention, wouldn't it?” Alex says harshly, watching as Aaron flinches back as if slapped, but he still keeps going. “You’d probably love me then, right? I’ll have you drive, too, just to make sure it works.” The words are barely out of Alex’s mouth before he slaps a hand to his mouth.

Aaron's whole body twitches, but then he freezes, and his shoulders sag. His face goes from shock, to sadness, to anger, and then to nothing all in a matter of seconds. His eyes slowly move from the spot on the wall, and he fixes Alex with an empty stare that makes Alex cringe. 

“Aaron.” Alex says, his heart pounding in his chest as he takes a small step forward, lowering his hand. “That was...I didn’t...”

“Get out.”

“Wait,no, please. Let me…I’m sorry, I-“

“Get. Out.” Aaron repeats, his voice shaking with barely suppressed rage. “Right now. Get out.”

Alex doesn’t move, he just stays where he is, trying to think of a way to fix what he had just done. But his mind doesn’t move fast enough, and Aaron grabs his keys from where he had deposited them onto the counter and throws them at him, Alex almost not getting his hand up in time to catch them.

“Did you hear me?” Aaron asks, his eyes wide and his fists clenched. “I don’t want you here. Get out!”

“No.” Alex says, stepping towards him again even as Aaron backs away. “Aaron I was mad, I said it in the heat of the moment, I’m so-“

“No!” Aaron snaps at him. “You don’t get to have an excuse for that. How dare you say that to me? And how dare you try to apologize like it was just some fucking _mistake._ You knew what you were saying, knew what effect it would have on me! Now get out! Go!”

“Please…” Alex tries again weakly, but Aaron moves and grabs his bag from the floor and throws that at him too before Alex can say anything else. But Alex keeps standing there, still not able to process what had just happened, and for some reason, his lack of motion seems to make Aaron snap.

“What are you waiting for?” Aaron yells at him, his voice breaking. “Get out! _Get out!”_ He steps forward and pushes Alex roughly in the chest, forcing him to take a few steps back. “Just go!”

“Where?” Alex asks, feeling tears start to build in his eyes. “Where am I supposed to go?”

“I don’t care! That’s what you wanted right, for me not to care? Well, congratulations! Go wherever the hell you want, do whatever you want, see whoever you want, because I don’t _care!”_ Aaron gets closer to him so he can push him farther back, and Alex is able to see that he is crying too, tears falling quickly down his face.

Alex opens his mouth to try to say something else, but then a vibrating noise fills the room, and they both turn to see Alex’s phone lighting up on the counter. Aaron turns to grab it, looking down at the caller. Alex sees another wave of anger pass over his face before he’s pushing the phone into Alex’s hand and wrenching the door open.

“Don’t worry.” Aaron sneers at him, tears still trickling down his cheeks. “I’m sure your new boyfriend will take care of you.” And then he pushes Alex back one more time before slamming the door in his face.

Alex stands alone in the hallway in his pajamas, holding nothing but his keys, his bag and his phone. He registers in the back of his mind that he doesn’t even have shoes on. His phone is still vibrating in his hand, and when he looks down at it, he see’s John’s name flashing on the screen.

Alex doesn’t answer. He just continues to stand in the hallway, staring at the closed door in front of him as a strange numbness spreads throughout his body. He’s not sure how long he stands there, listening to what he thinks is the sound of Aaron crying inside. Alex reaches one of his hands out, letting it rest on the door, willing it to open back up again.

But it stays closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flies away on my two week vacation* byyyyeeee
> 
> (also pls yell at me in the comments I love reading them)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK HELLO HELLO
> 
> This update includes Aaron moping, more sadness, a forced firework analogy because it's the 4th of July, more Bellamy, and more angst. Enjoy x

“So…how are you doing today?”

Angelica’s question hangs in the air, but instead of answering it, Aaron just sighs and continues to count the cracks in Angelica’s ceiling; an activity he’s been engaged in for the past ten minutes. Her question is one that Aaron has been asked countless times in the past few weeks, and he’s getting more and more tired of it. Yes, he and Alexander broke up, but it’s fine, everything is fine. He’s  _fine_.

“Aaron…”

“I’m fine.” Aaron says, reiterating his thoughts out loud. “And I’d be even more fine if you would just stop asking me.”

Angelica purses her lips and crosses her legs on the chair she’s sitting in. Aaron sighs again, shifting on the couch so he’s laying on his side and has a better view of Angelica’s face.

“I think I have a right to be worried about you.” She says with one eyebrow raised. “You’ve been coming over here every day just to stare at my ceiling. Now I love you, and love having you over, but you’re not acting like you’re fine.”

Aaron wants to roll his eyes, but he stops himself because he knows that Angelica is technically right; he probably hasn’t been acting like he’s fine. But he is. He’s fine, completely fine.

Sure, his apartment is more quiet now and the rooms more empty, almost too empty, but Aaron is adjusting like he always does. So what if he goes over to Angelica’s house almost every day now? That doesn’t mean he isn’t okay, it doesn’t mean he misses _him_. Because he doesn’t. Not one bit.

“I’m fine.” Aaron repeats firmly. _You’re fine_ , he tells himself, _everything is fine_. “I’m always okay, you know that.”

“Well number one, that’s a lie.” Angelica says, pointing a finger at him. “And number two, I know that you aren’t fine because you still haven’t told me what happened between you and Alexander.”

_Alexander._

Aaron closes his eyes at the mention of his name. He hasn’t seen Alexander in over three weeks. After their fight, Aaron had just thrown all of Alexander’s things into boxes and put them outside in the hallway. Then he had sent Alexander a short text telling him to pick them up, and had ignored the responses asking he was okay and if they could talk. Aaron hadn’t heard from him since.

“Was it really that bad?” Angelica asks, her voice soft. “Can’t you guys just talk it out?”

Aaron keeps his eyes closed and shakes his head. No, they can’t just talk it out; it’s impossible to talk things out with Alexander, and Aaron doesn’t have the energy to try even if he wanted to. And he doesn't want to. He doesn't...

“Aaron.” Angelica’s voice is louder now, and Aaron opens his eyes to see her staring at him with a stern gaze. “You have to tell me what happened! I haven’t seen you like this since Theodosia and-“

“Don’t!” Aaron snaps out before he can stop himself. “Don’t talk about her, okay? Just _don’t._ ” He sits up and passes his hands over his eyes as he takes a deep breath. When he looks back over at Angelica, she’s staring back at him with a look of slowly unfurling anger.

“Is that what this is about?” She asks, her voice tight. "Did Alexander say something about her?”

“Just drop it, Angelica. Please.”

Angelica opens her mouth again but is interrupted by the sound of someone knocking at her door. She throws Aaron a glance that clearly says _"we aren’t done here"_  before getting up to answer the door.

As she walks away, Aaron sends up a silent thank you to the heavens for the interruption; he knows that if he tells Angelica what Alexander said, she would make his life a living hell, and Aaron wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

But maybe Alexander deserves it.

Aaron sighs and passes his hands over his eyes again. He can still see Alexander’s face in his mind; the instant guilt and regret that had flashed across it after he made the comment about Theodosia’s death. But feeling regret isn’t enough. Aaron had shared something personal with Alexander, had let him into his life, and Alexander took that information and threw it in his face in order to hurt him. And Aaron hates how much it hurt.

He never thought that Alexander would say that to him, that he's jealous of Aaron's dead wife. He never thought that Alexander would take Aaron's greatest fear, that he's the one who killed Theodosia, and use it to purposefully hurt him. He never thought that this is how their relationship would turn out. He never thought _any_ of this would happen, but Aaron's life has a way of taking unexpected turns, so he supposes that he really shouldn't be surprised. But he's so tired of it. 

The sound of voices pulls Aaron from his thoughts, and he lifts his head to see Angelica returning with Lafayette and Peggy trailing into the room behind her.

“Aaron, mon ami!” Lafayette says, and Peggy smiles at him over Lafayette’s shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“Fine.” Aaron says for what feels like the hundredth time that day. “How are you two doing?”

“Magnificent, as always. Peggy and I are going on a small vacation for a week, and we are here to drop off Monsieur Muffin.”

“Who?” Aaron asks, wondering if he had heard Lafayette wrong.

“Monsieur Muffin!” Lafayette repeats with a wide smile. “Our cat. He is quite the handful so we need someone with a firm hand to watch over him. We believe Angelica will do a fine job.”

After he finishes speaking, Peggy holds up one of her arms to show Aaron their cat carrier, and Aaron can just make out the outline of a small, multi-colored cat inside.

“I’ll show you all of his food and everything.” Peggy says to Angelica, motioning with her head for Angelica to follow her into the kitchen. They both walk out of the room, leaving Aaron alone with Lafayette. Aaron smiles briefly at Lafayette, but the other man doesn’t smile back, just stares at Aaron, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“How are you really doing?” Lafayette asks him after a few more moments of silence pass between them. “Because it is my belief that you are probably doing as well as Alex, which is to say, not very well at all.”

Aaron opens his mouth to respond, but then quickly snaps it shut, angry that his first reaction had been to want to ask more about how Alexander is doing. He shouldn’t care anymore. He doesn’t want to care anymore.

But he does.

His feelings must show on his face though, because Lafayette smiles sympathetically at him.

“He is seeing someone, you know.”

Aaron’s eyes fly back to Lafayette’s at his words, a chill running down his spine. He clenches his hands where they are sitting on his lap to stop them from shaking, and takes two steadying breaths before responding.

“Good for him.” Aaron says calmly, thankful that his voice doesn’t waver. Images of Alexander and Laurens being together flit through his mind, but he pushes them away. “I’m glad he could move on so quickly.”

“No, no!” Lafayette exclaims, his expression turning into something slightly horror-struck. “I did not mean it in that way! I meant he is getting help!”

“Getting help?” Aaron asks, not understanding. 

“Seeing a therapist.” Lafayette clarifies with a firm nod. “It has been about two weeks now, I think.”

“Why didn’t he…” Aaron trails off, swallowing a few times as he processes the news. He had wanted to ask why Alexander hadn’t told him, but why would he? He has no reason to, not anymore. “Is he...is there…why did he decide to go?” Aaron swears under his breath at his rambling, wishing that the mention of Alexander didn't make him so flustered. 

“He is doing better.” Lafayette says with a small shrug. “And he has not told us exactly why he chose to go. I think you and him are similar in that way, no? Keeping things bottled up and not wanting to talk about them? But I am proud of Alex for seeking out someone to speak to. He gets caught in his own head far too much.”

Aaron doesn’t comment on Lafayette’s words, choosing instead to stare down at his hands. He doesn’t know what to think. Of course he’s happy Alexander is talking to someone if he needs help, but a part of Aaron can’t help but wonder at how long Alexander had been struggling with something, and if he should have noticed.

“I’m glad he’s doing better.” Aaron says finally, still looking down at his hands. Lafayette makes a small humming noise in response.

“And you?” He asks. “Who are you talking to, Aaron? Perhaps you would benefit from speaking with someone?”

“I’m fine.” The words fall from Aaron’s lips with less ease than before, and he has less confidence in them. He knows deep down that he isn’t fine, but what good will admitting that do? It won’t change what happened.

Besides, Aaron had tried therapy after the car crash, but he never got much from it. Talking to a stranger about what it was like to lose his wife and unborn child had been uncomfortable, especially when his therapist had tried to give him advice. The office had been full of pictures of his therapist’s family; a smiling husband and three children. What could they possibly understand about his loss?

“Have you talked to Alex since your fight?” Lafayette asks, interrupting Aaron’s train of thought.

“No.” Aaron says with a jerky shake of his head. “And I’m not sure if it would be a good idea to try, or if I even want to. We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

“Yes, I was able to guess as much, what with the way Alex has been moping around and barely speaking. He stares at the walls in silence during the workday, not even touching his work. Washington and Greene are getting quite fed up.”

“Well that’s his problem.” Aaron bites out, feeling a sudden surge of anger at Lafayette’s words. “What happened is his problem, _his_ fault!” Aaron doesn’t want to feel guilty over this, he doesn’t deserve to. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I do not pretend to know more about the situation than you, Aaron.” Lafayette says quietly. “I just…it pains me to see you both this way. And while talking to Alex can be a trial, I think it could help both of you.”

Aaron doesn’t respond again, just lets out a slow breath as he considers everything Lafayette has said. He knows that talking to Alexander is the mature thing to do, but he’s still so mad at him. Aaron can’t just forget and forgive the things Alexander said, he shouldn’t get off that easy. But, much to his dismay, Aaron finds that he  _wants_ to talk to Alexander, wants to see him again. He misses him. Even after everything, Aaron misses him. And he hates it.

“Alex is like a firework.” Lafayette says suddenly, making Aaron raise an eyebrow and look at him quizzically. “He is so small at first, just a tiny spark. Then, without warning, he explodes.” Lafayette spread his arms wide. “And depending on the person watching, or perhaps the firework itself, the explosion can be beautiful or terrifying. And then when he is gone, there is just the dark, and somehow you are left wanting more, holding your breath for the next beautiful explosion.”

Aaron wants to tell Lafayette to stop talking, to just drop the topic of Alexander, but he finds that his voice isn’t working, and his eyes are glued to Lafayette’s as he smiles at him and continues to speak.

“But no matter what,” Lafayette says, placing a hand on his chest, “Alex makes your heart pound, yes? And fills you with a great feeling that no one else can replicate.”

“Where did you get that?” Aaron asks after a few moments, pushing away the feeling that is building in his chest. He doesn't want to admit how right Lafayette is, how well that description fits Alexander, how beautiful Aaron thinks he is. He lifts the corners of his mouth instead to try and smile at Lafayette, hoping his real emotions don't show. “There’s no way you came up with that on the spot.”

“It is the way I feel for Peggy.” Lafayette says, his eyes lighting up. “Though she is always more beautiful than terrifying, of course. We have had our troubles, but I love her...she is my little firework.”

Immediately after he finishes speaking, Peggy and Angelica re-enter the room. Aaron wonders if they overheard their conversation, and by the way Peggy goes over to Lafayette and presses a small kiss to his cheek, Aaron thinks they must have.

“We should be going.” Peggy says, taking Lafayette’s hand in hers and smiling at Aaron. “We’ll see you when we get back!”

Aaron stands up as the two start to walk out, looking up at Lafayette when he turns around to stare at him.

“Just think about what I said.” He tells Aaron. “Alex has a habit of messing things up for himself because he is scared of being left behind. Whatever he did or said, I can guarantee he did not mean it. So just promise to think about talking to him, yes?”

Aaron hesitates, but then he gives a slow nod, and Lafayette practically beams at him before turning around again and leaving with Peggy. Once they're gone, Aaron lets out a quiet sigh, not knowing if he'll actually go through with that promise. He's not sure if he's ready. Him and Angelica stand in the room in silence until a soft _meow_ comes from the side of the room where Peggy had deposited the cat carrier.

“I should be getting home.” Aaron says, and when Angelica opens her mouth, probably to argue, Aaron holds up a hand. “Really, Angelica. I’m tired. But I’ll…I’ll talk to you about everything later, okay?”

“I’m gonna need a bit more of a guarantee that you aren’t just lying to me to get out of here.”

Aaron laughs, but then he holds out one of his hands with the pinky extended. Angelica smiles before stepping forward and wrapping her pinky around his.

“I promise.” Aaron says, and then he steps back and makes his way over to the door. He’s about to pull it open when Angelica places a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“Aaron…” her face is full of worry again. “Just…I’m always here for you, okay? And I-“ she breaks off as her phone vibrates, and when she looks down at it, her face brightens.

“I know you are.” Aaron tells her softly, and then he smiles. “Say hi to Maria for me…”

Angelica looks back at him and rolls her eyes, but then she smiles back at him as Aaron opens the door and slips out. He’s barely out of the door when his own phone starts to vibrate. He looks down to see the name _Jonathan Bellamy_ flashing on the screen, and clicks the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Aaron! Hey.” Jon’s voice crackles on the other end, sounding relieved. “So, funny story. I let myself into your place using the key you gave me so I could drop off some extra groceries. But while I was unloading, a friend of yours showed up.”

“What friend?” Aaron asks, panicking for a second, thinking that Alexander had stopped by and that him and Jon had fought.

“I think he said his name was Thomas?” Jon says, and Aaron breathes a sigh of relief. “He was talking really fast and then he just went into your room and slammed the door. I’m not sure if I should go in…”

“Just leave him.” Aaron says with a sigh. “He can be very dramatic, I’m heading back now anyway.”

“He sounded pretty upset.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Aaron assures him before hanging up. He sighs again as he makes his way out of Angelica’s apartment, wondering when all the craziness of the past few weeks will end.

-

Aaron makes it back to his apartment in about twenty minutes, and his key is barely in the lock before the door is being pulled open, a slightly flustered Jon looking down at him.

“Good. You’re back.” He reaches out a hand and pulls Aaron inside. “I tried to go talk to your friend, but he threw a pillow at me, so I thought it would be best to just wait for you to get back.”

“God, I’m so sorry.” Aaron says with a groan. He steps further into the apartment then stops in his tracks, noticing the full meal that is placed on the table. He looks back over at Jon, who is watching him with a small smile. “Did you make me dinner?”

“Oh…uh…yeah.” Jon smiles bashfully and ducks his head for a moment before looking back at Aaron. “I wanted it to be a surprise, which I guess it still is, but…”

“Jon…” Aaron places a hand on Jon’s shoulder and squeezes it gently, hoping the gesture conveys his gratitude. Jon had been there for him so much the past few weeks, and Aaron is so glad that he came to New York. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed him.

“I’ll put it away for now.” Jon says quietly, giving Aaron another smile. “We can save it for later. You should go see if Thomas is alright.”

Aaron nods and lets his hand drop from Jon’s shoulder, moving over to his bedroom door and knocking lightly before entering.

“Thomas?” Aaron says, squinting his eyes in an attempt to see through the darkness. When he fails to do so, he flicks on one of the lights and sees Thomas’s form huddled under the blankets on his bed. “Thomas?” Aaron repeats, stepping closer to the bed and kneeling down.

He pulls the blankets back and is shocked to see that Thomas’s eyes are red and puffy when he looks up at him. Thomas sniffs and pulls the blankets tighter around him, hiccuping softly through the tears that are trailing down his cheeks.

“Thomas, what’s wrong?” Aaron asks, placing a hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “What happened?”

“James is in the hospital.” Thomas croaks out, and Aaron squeezes down on his shoulder, swallowing down the millions of questions that rise to his mind. He doesn’t want to overwhelm Thomas any more than he already appears to be.

“What happened?” Aaron asks again, and Thomas closes his eyes and swallows a few times.

“He was still sick.” He whispers. “We thought it was just a bad cold, but then it got worse. He was shivering and coughing so much, but he said that he would be fine. So we just stayed home and I made him soup and tea and wrapped him in blankets. But then overnight it got worse.” Thomas opens his eyes and takes a shuddering breath, his eyes seeking out Aaron’s. “He woke up coughing and couldn’t stop. He just kept coughing and coughing and he couldn’t catch his breath and I-“ Thomas’s voice breaks. “I couldn’t do anything and he passed out but I didn't know what to do and-“ Thomas breaks off again, a sob escaping his lips.

“Thomas…” Aaron stands up and climbs onto the bed, resting his back against the headboard. Thomas turns to his other side and presses his face into Aaron’s thigh, his shoulders shaking. “What did the doctors say?”

“They ran a bunch of tests.” Thomas breathes out. “They did a chest x-ray and then a lung CT scan. They said that he had pneumonia, and that it damaged his lungs and…and that they can’t do their job right anymore, can’t get oxygen flowing.” Thomas pauses as he takes a deep breath. “They said it’s…acute respiratory distress syndrome, or something like that, and the low oxygen levels in his blood could lead to heart failure, or that his lungs could fill with fluid and that he could...”

Aaron puts an arm Thomas’s shoulders when he trails off again, pulling him closer and allowing him to rest his head on his lap. He rubs soothing circles into Thomas’s back, still trying to take in the news.

“How is James now? Do you want me to go back to the hospital with you?”

“No.” Thomas says quickly, his voice hoarse. “I…I can’t go back, Aaron. He was all hooked up to machines and…and had a tube down his throat and was so out of it he didn’t recognize me and I can’t-I can’t…” He breaks down again into quiet sobs, and Aaron holds him tighter, trying to calm him down.

“It’ll be fine.” Aaron says, but he realizes how ridiculous those words sound. There’s no guarantee that things will be fine. But what else can he say?

“I should have known that something was wrong.” Thomas chokes out. “I should have made him go to the doctor sooner.”

“Don’t think that way.” Aaron tells him sternly. “Don’t. You did everything you could, Thomas. James will be fine.” _Fine._ The word feels more empty each time Aaron says it. It feels like a lie.

“I don’t want him to die.” Thomas whispers, and Aaron closes his eyes as he feels his chest tighten at the words. “We’re getting married. He can’t die.”

“He won’t.” Aaron says as he starts to rub Thomas’s back again. “You will get married, and I’ll be standing there next to you as you watch James walk towards you down the aisle. Everything will be fine.”

Thomas hiccups again, but doesn’t say anything else. He just nuzzles his cheek against Aaron’s leg and takes a deep breath. After awhile of just sitting there in silence, Thomas’s breathing evens out and he falls asleep, twitching occasionally in his sleep. After a few more minutes, the bedroom door creaks open and Jon peeks his head around, frowning slightly when he sees Thomas curled around Aaron. He steps inside quietly and makes his way over to Aaron.

“Is everything okay?” He whispers, reaching out a hand to entwine his fingers with Aaron’s free hand. “What happened?”

“His fiancé is in the hospital.” Aaron whispers back, glancing down at Thomas’s sleeping form before looking up at Jon. “He’s not doing very well, either.”

“I’m so sorry.” Jon says, squeezing Aaron’s hand. “Can I do anything?”

“I don’t think so.” Aaron says with a small smile. “But thank you. I can deal with Thomas, you should go home, you don’t need to stay.”

“And if I want to?” Jon asks, his thumb tracing the back of Aaron’s hand. “I want to stay. I want to help.”

“Jon, you’ve already done so much for me, you don’t need to-“

“I know I don’t need to.” Jon interrupts. “But I want to. I...I care about you, Aaron. And I can’t help but feel guilty with what happened between you and Alexander. You won’t tell me what happened, and I know that there must be a reason for that. I…I don’t regret coming back to see you, but I regret that it messed things up and made you sad.”

“You coming back didn’t make me sad.” Aaron says softly. “I’m…” Aaron is about to say  _"I'm fine"_  but he bites the words back at the last second. “I’m happy you’re here, and I wouldn't change that.”

“Good.” Jon says with a smile. He gives Aaron’s hand one more squeeze before letting go and stepping back. “I’m going to sleep on the couch, okay? Then I’ll make you two breakfast in the morning and be the chauffeur for the day if you need me to take you to the hospital.”

“Thank you.” Aaron tells him again, watching as Jon walks quietly back out of the room.

Once he’s gone, Aaron lets his head drop back against the headboard. He closes his eyes as he feels the beginnings of a headache building behind his eyes. He _is_ thankful for Jon being here, but another thought has been swirling in his head ever since Thomas had told him everything that happened;

He wishes Alexander were here.

Aaron bites the inside of his cheek as he lets that thought surface to the top of his mind, repeating it over and over in his head. Again, he is angry for thinking it, but he just really wants Alexander to be here, wants to talk to him about everything, wants Alexander holding his hand and telling him that everything will be fine. He wants Alexander back. 

But Alexander made his choice; he decided to say those words to Aaron, knowing what would happen when he did. Alexander is gone, and Aaron needs more time before he's ready to even think about talking to him again. He doesn't think he could even see Alexander without getting mad or breaking down. Aaron isn't ready to forgive him, not yet. He needs more time. 

Thomas shifts next to Aaron, letting out a soft noise that sounds like James’s name. Aaron pulls him closer as he looks down at him, wishing that there was a way he could make everything better.

“Everything will be fine.” Aaron whispers into the room, letting the words hang in the air and hoping that there is some kind of truth in them, that they will bring him some sort of comfort. "Everything will be fine." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys miss me?
> 
> ALSO HEY heed the new note that I added to the summary of the fic. There has been some confusion on tumblr as to where I got inspiration for the fic, and I'd like to avoid any more confusion.
> 
> Anyway, I'm glad to be back and can't wait to finish up this fic. We've got around five more chapters to go, and I hope you all are ready for the rest of the wild ride. Kudos are appreciated and comments are loved. Each comment I get adds a year to my life, so if you want me to live forever and write more fics, please take the time to leave a comment. Thanks so much :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter, more angst
> 
> enjoy x

“Is there anything else you want to talk about today, Alexander?”

Alex chews on his bottom lip as he considers the question. He knows that the right answer is to say is yes. That’s the whole point of therapy, right? To talk out your problems? But Alex is tired, too tired to talk, too tired to even think. But it’s that fact that makes him swallow and force the words out.

“I don’t know.” He finally says, picking at the seam of his pants. “Nothing specific has happened lately.”

“We can talk about anything you want. Are you still staying with your friends for the time being?”

Alex lets his eyes skim across the room, roaming over the name-tag on the desk that reads _Benjamin Franklin_ before letting his gaze land on his therapist. He’s a man in his mid fifties; white hair thinning and glasses perched on his nose. He looks at Alex expectantly, waiting for his answer.

“Yes.” Alex says, giving a short nod. He’s been staying at John and Herc’s the past few weeks, although it’s more John’s place now, since Herc is spending most of his time with Eliza these days. It’s weird being back with John and Herc.  Alex finds that he doesn’t feel comfortable living there, he feels out of place.

He can still remember the night he had gone over to their apartment. He had shown up barefoot, clutching his bag tightly to his chest and scaring John and Herc with his appearance. They had ushered him inside, asking millions of questions that flew right over Alex’s head. He remembers just pushing past them and collapsing onto the couch, falling asleep listening to their concerned, hushed tones coming from the other room.

Alex still hasn’t told them everything that happened, had only said that he and Aaron were over. After a few days of trying to pull the full story out of him, Herc had given up. John still asks every now and then, tries to get Alex to talk, tries to understand. But Alex stays silent.

The apartment overall is silent; Herc is usually gone and sure, Alex lives there, but he makes himself scarce. He avoids being in the same room as John whenever he can.

“Have you talked to your friend lately?” Dr. Franklin asks, as if reading Alex’s thoughts. “John?”

Alex shakes his head. He’s been too nervous, too scared to try. He had used John, had used his best friend who loves him, to get back at Aaron, and he hates himself for it. He hates the way John watches him with wide, almost frightened eyes when they’re together in a room, hates the way John still attempts to comfort him despite the anger he must feel towards him. Alex doesn’t deserve it, doesn’t deserve that kindness.

“And why haven’t you talked to him?”

“What am I supposed to say to him?” Alex snaps out before he can stop himself, his temper flaring suddenly. “Am I just supposed to walk over to him and say, ‘Hey John, sorry I used you to cheat on my boyfriend because I knew you would kiss me if I encouraged you?’” Alex lets out a short laugh. “Yeah I’m sure that would be a great conversation.”

“It might not be a great conversation, but it’s one you should consider having. Communication is important, Alexander. From what you’ve told me before, your friend seems open to talking, so what’s holding you back?”

Alex laughs again. What’s _not_ holding him back? There are so many ways that the conversation could go badly. He could find out John is actually incredibly mad and wants nothing to do with him, or Alex could say something wrong and mess things up even more. He could lose someone else he cares about.

“It’s natural to be scared, Alexander.” Dr. Franklin says, and Alex hates how easily the man can read him. “You’ve been through a lot, lost a lot of people in your life; your father, your mother…it’s understandable to feel the way you do. But you also need to know that not everyone is going to leave you, you don’t need to push them away.”

Alex shifts in his seat, feeling far too exposed for his liking, but he forces himself to look Dr. Franklin in the eyes and nod. This is a conversation they’ve had every single meeting so far; Alex’s fear of being left behind. He’s always know he’s had it, he just never knew how much it affected his actions, how deeply rooted it was in his mind.

“Now what about your other friend?” Dr. Franklin asks, peering down at his notes. “Aaron? Have you talked to him since your breakup?”

Alex swallows a few times, picking a spot on the floor to stare at. The mention of Aaron’s name is enough to send waves of guilt and shame through his body, and Alex hates that he can already feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He has replayed that night over in his mind so many times, but he still doesn’t know what possessed him to say what he did to Aaron. He can still recall the way Aaron’s eyes had flashed with anger before going blank, and then he had looked at Alex with so much coldness, so much _hate_.

Alex swallows again and clenches his hands into fists. He’s never regretted something so much in his life. Aaron had been nothing but kind to him, nothing but open and trusting, but Alex had to go and ruin everything, had to ruin one of the great things he had in his life.

He misses Aaron so much.

“No.” He breathes out, answering Dr. Franklin’s question once he feels more under control. “You said I should try to give him space so I…I haven’t reached out to him. But I…I _want_ to.” Alex admits, looking back at Dr. Franklin. He takes a shaky breath. “I want to talk to him and want to explain what happened and I want to apologize and I want to get him back and-“

“Slow down, Alexander.” Dr. Franklin holds up a hand and peers at him over his glasses. “Do you feel like you could talk to him without losing control as you just did?”

Alex wants to say that he can, but he knows that’s a lie. If he saw Aaron now, he knows he would break down, would just start spewing words that made no sense in his desperation to make things right again, so he shakes his head.

“It’s going to take time.” Dr. Franklin tells him. “Healing, fixing things, it won’t be easy, and it will all take time. But the fact that you are willing to try, that you _want_ to try, are all good signs.”

Alex nods, and then jumps slightly when a timer goes off on the table in front of him. Dr. Franklin leans over and turns it off before giving Alex a small smile.

“I’ll see you in a few days for our next meeting, Alexander. My advice to you is to try and talk to John, but only if you feel comfortable doing so. Don’t force it. And give Aaron time, let him come to you when he’s ready.”

“What if he’s never ready?” Alex whispers, his throat tight."What if he hates me too much?"

“Then that is something you will have to accept.” Dr. Franklin tells him softly, standing up. “We can’t control other people, Alexander, no matter how hard we wish we could. We’re only responsible for our own actions.”

Alex takes another deep breath before standing up. He knows that those words are probably meant to comfort him, but the fact that his actions of late have all been pretty terrible, Alex feels a heavy weight settle on his chest, threatening to crush him.

"Hate is a strong emotion." Dr. Franklin says, giving him a small smile. "I believe that very few people actually experience it, or deserve it. Your friends might be upset with you, Alexander, but being upset does not equal hatred. Talk to them, and be patient with them, and accept their decisions."

Alex takes a deep breath as he lets the words wash over him. He desperately wants to believe them, wants to believe that John and Aaron don't hate him, that they can forgive him, but there's a persistent gnawing feeling in his chest that makes him think that they won't. And that scares him so much. Despite his nerves, Alex forces himself to nod at Dr. Franklin as he holds the door open for him, and then steps out quickly, eager to feel the fresh air on his face.

He knows that John and Aaron have every right to hate him, have every right to not want to talk to him ever again, but Alex is having a hard time accepting that idea. He hates the idea of them hating him. So then of course just not talking to them is the easier route to go down. Alex can just pretend they don’t hate him instead of taking the risk to find out their true feelings.

But he also knows that if he doesn’t talk to them, if he just pretends everything is okay, then nothing will ever get better. And Alex wants things to get better, wants things to get better for John and Aaron as well. They deserve it, even if he doesn’t. He needs to talk to them.

Alex makes it back to John and Herc’s place and when he steps inside, he almost runs face first into John, who must have been getting ready to go out.

“Oh, sorry.” John stutters out, stepping back. “I was just going to go out for a little. We need food.”

“Right.” Alex says, wincing at how high-pitched his voice comes out. Him and John stare at each other in silence, John shifting on his feet as Alex clenches and unclenches his jaw, trying to get his mouth to work. Dr. Franklin’s words about talking to John ring in his mind. He should say something. But the moment continues to stretch on until John clears his throat. He steps forward and touches the handle of the door, moving to make his way out of the apartment.

“Wait!” Alex says, forcing himself to speak before he loses the courage. “I…could you stay? I…I want to talk to you about everything.” He watches as John turns back around slowly, looking at him with wide eyes. “I…I mean if that’s ok with you. We don’t have to if-“

“No.” John says, and then he blinks a few times like he’s trying to focus on Alex’s face. “I mean, yes, we can talk. I…yeah, that’s fine.”

Alex nods. They both stare at each other again for a moment before moving to sit down on the couch. As they turn towards each other, Alex is reminded of the last time they sat together on the couch, and he feels a sense of panic and guilt rise in him, but he forces it down. He can do this. He _has_ to do this.

“John, I…” Alex swears when he hears his voice break. He’s already falling apart. “I don’t even know how to start.” He admits and laughs shakily, rubbing at his eyes. “But I just want to say...I’m so sorry. You’re my best friend and I-“ Alex breaks off again and shakes his head, frustrated that he can’t get his words out.

John doesn’t offer any help, just stares at him and waits. A few more minutes tick by as Alex outlines what he wants to say in his head.

“I came over to you that night with a purpose.” Alex says softly. “I was mad at Aaron, jealous for no reason, and I knew if I came over here and flirted a little that you would kiss me.” He pauses slightly as hurt flashes across John’s face, but he forces himself to keep going. “I wanted a reason to fight with Aaron, that’s all I could think about. I didn’t think about the consequences, how it would make you feel, but I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you…”

“Alex…” John says his name quietly. “You don’t have to-“

“Yes, I do.” Alex says firmly, cutting John off. “What I did isn’t okay. You…you were so honest with me, but all I did was lie to you. I used you to hurt Aaron, not caring that it would hurt you too. I kissed you even though I knew it would be leading you on.” Alex takes a deep breath. The words are coming too fast now. “I was so selfish, John, and I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

John is staring down at his hands, not looking at him, and that feeling of panic rises up in Alex’s chest again. But then John starts to nod, and he lifts his head to look at Alex.

“I’m guessing it worked.” He says, smiling sadly when Alex looks at him in confusion. “Hurting Aaron, I’m guessing you succeeded in doing that? It’s why you broke up, right? Because we kissed?”

“It’s part of the reason.” Alex responds, his voice quiet. “I…there’s more, I…well, I did something stupid, said something awful and he…” Alex stops there, not wanting to think about the way Aaron’s face had crumpled that night.

“I don’t want to say that you deserved what you got, but…” John trails off and winces at his words, but Alex laughs loudly.

“I definitely got what I deserved.” Alex agrees. “And I understand if you’re mad at me. I just wanted, _needed_ , to tell you how sorry I am. I know I’ve done a shit job of showing it, but I do care about you, John. But I do understand if you hate me and can't forgive me for what I did.”

“I forgive you.” John says immediately, his words shocking Alex so much that he jumps slightly on the couch. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m mad at you still, but I forgive you. I was wrong too, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I knew you were still with Aaron but I-“

“No, John. Don’t. It’s not your fault at all.”

“Some of it is.” John says with a shrug. “We’ve both done stupid shit. We have years of evidence to back that up. But you’re always going to be my best friend, and I forgive you. And I...I could never _hate_ you, Alex.”

Alex feels his throat tighten up at John’s words, but he blinks back the tears and tries to smile at him.

“Besides.” John says softly. “You’ve got those sad puppy dog eyes that make it hard to hold a grudge for too long. And you’ve been beating yourself up so much over all of this already that I don't think I need to do it too.”

Alex laughs again, feeling a slight warmth spread through him. _John forgives him_. He opens his mouth to say more, but then the door is opening, and he turns to see Herc and Eliza walk in, their faces grim.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” John asks before Alex has the chance.

“James is in the hospital.” Eliza says, and Alex feels his stomach drop, all previous warm feelings leaving him immediately. “Thomas just told Angelica today, and she called me. Apparently it’s bad.”

“How bad?” Alex asks, his mouth dry. He never knew James that well, but the man had always been kind, and Alex feels a sadness building up in his chest. “Is he...” He trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence. 

“It’s…he’s not looking too good.” Herc says, and he frowns down at his feet before looking back over at Alex and John. “It’s something with his lungs, they keep filling with fluid. We were going to go down the hospital to visit, if you two want to come.”

Alex nods and stands up, swaying slightly on his feet. It seems impossible that James, someone so strong and stoic, is so sick. He's having trouble wrapping his head around it. John stands up beside him and grabs his keys, offering to drive them all down.

“How’s Thomas?” Alex asks as they walk to the car. Despite never seeing eye to eye with Thomas, Alex can’t imagine what he must be going through right now. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone love someone as much as Thomas loves James.

“He’s…well, he's dealing with it as well as you’d expect.” Eliza says. “I guess he’s been staying with Aaron the past few days, so at least someone is watching over him.”

“And Aaron?” Alex asks before he can stop himself. “How is he?” Three pairs of eyes look at him, and Alex fidgets under their gazes, feeling far too exposed for the second time that day. 

“He’s coping.” Eliza tells him gently, and then she slips into the car without further explanation.

The ride to the hospital is quiet, and Alex only breaks the silence once to suggest that they stop and buy some flowers. He walks into the hospital, clutching the bouquet of flowers tightly to his chest as he waits for Eliza to come back from talking to the nurse to get James’s room number. Then they all walk down together, and when the door opens, the first thing Alex sees is James asleep on the hospital bed, machines beeping beside him. Then his eyes move to the other side of the room, and he feels the breath leave him all at once.

Aaron is sitting there, staring back at him with widening eyes as he rises from his chair. Alex panics for a second, almost turns around and leaves, but then the rest of his friends are walking in, blocking his escape route. Alex feels John staring at him, but he keeps his eyes on the floor, focusing on keeping his breathing steady.

“Aaron.” Eliza’s voice rings out loudly in the small room. “How is he doing?”

“He’s doing alright…” Aaron’s voice sends a shiver down Alex’s spine. It’s been so long since he’s heard it. “He’s been sleeping all day, he sleeps most of the time, actually. They have to keep him hooked up to the ventilator at all times to keep him breathing, but there have been no new complications.”

“Is Thomas here?”

“No.” Aaron’s voice is soft, and Alex peeks up at him briefly to see his face turning to James, a frown forming on his lips. “He hasn’t stopped by today.” His eyes move back to Alex’s, making him quickly move his own back down to the floor. His heart is beating so fast.

“Well we all just wanted to stop by.” Herc says after a moment. “We brought flowers.” Another silence falls, and Alex looks up when Herc clears his throat. “Alex? Want to hand them over?”

Oh. Right. Alex steps forward and shoves his hand out so Aaron can take them. He can’t stop himself from looking back up at Aaron as he takes the flowers from him. Their fingers brush briefly, and Alex breathes out shakily, but Aaron’s eyes are unreadable. Then he’s turning away to place the flowers on James’s bedside table, and Alex steps back, trying to get his heartbeat back under control.

“You’re all more than welcome to stay.” Aaron says, still turned away. Alex wonders if he’s just imagining his voice shaking. When he turns back around, he avoids looking at Alex again, just goes back to his seat and sits down. But he passes a hand over his eyes; a sign that Alex has come to recognize as meaning that Aaron is flustered.

Everyone behind Alex moves to sit as well, and Alex forces himself to turn away from Aaron so he can sit down himself. Once he does, he finds that he can’t stop moving his eyes over to Aaron.

It’s so good to see him, so good to have him in the same room again. But Alex’s heart tightens, knowing that even though Aaron is just a few feet from him, he still can’t talk to him, not with everyone else in the room with them. And then there’s the fact that Aaron is staring down determinedly at his shoes, avoiding eye contact. He might not want to talk to Alex even if they were alone.

That thought makes all of the excitement of seeing Aaron again drain out of Alex. What if Aaron _does_ hate him? Alex fidgets in his seat and takes a deep breath through his nose. He can feel his nerves starting to bubble under his skin. A desperate need to talk to Aaron, to explain everything is also building inside of him, but Alex knows this isn’t the time or place. But he feels like he’s going to explode.

The door opens suddenly, making everyone jump and pulling Alex out of his thoughts.

“I’ve brought you a water bottle and-oh.” Alex turns his head to see Bellamy walking in the door, stopping in his tracks when he sees everyone piled into the room. “I guess I should have brought more water.” He smiles at everyone, and when his eyes land on Alex, his gaze moves briefly over to Aaron before stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him.

Alex expects to feel something like anger or jealousy when Bellamy makes his way over to Aaron, handing him the bottle of water, but instead, a feeling rises in him that he doesn’t expect. It takes him a moment to decipher what it is, but then he sees Aaron smile up at Bellamy, and he understands. It’s relief. Relief that Aaron hasn’t been alone since their breakup, relief that Aaron has had someone there for him.

Bellamy sits down next to Aaron, whispers something in his ear that no one else can hear. Aaron’s lips form a thin line, and he shakes his head at whatever Bellamy says, and his eyes flick over to Alex and away again so quickly that Alex almost doesn’t catch it. But he does, and his feeling of relief is replaced by more nervousness, wondering what Bellamy had said to Aaron.

Alex hadn’t realized just how much had missed Aaron until this very moment, hadn't realized what it would feel like seeing him so close. He silently wills Aaron to look at him again, but the other man's eyes stay turned away, and Alex feels his heart clench. _He hates me_ , he thinks to himself, panic rising. He wants to run, wants to stand up and leave the room so he doesn’t have to sit here and watch Aaron slip even further away from him than he already has.

“Where is Thomas?” Eliza asks after awhile, breaking the silence and turning her eyes to Aaron.

“With Angelica.” Is Aaron’s simple response, his eyes still trained on the floor.

“Why isn’t he here?”

No one answers her question, but Alex shifts in his seat, another strange emotion building inside of him that he doesn’t expect; sympathy for Jefferson. An understanding, a connection, with his actions. Something Alex never thought he would feel.

“He should be here.” Eliza whispers, and Alex turns to see her staring at James, her eyes brimming with tears. “He should be here for James.”

“He’s trying to cope in his own way.” Aaron says softly, but Eliza shakes her head angrily.

“But he should be here! James deserves Thomas being at his side. I don’t understand why he-“

“Because he’s scared!” Alex blurts out, and everyone turns to stare at him in shock, but Alex doesn’t care. Something inside of him has snapped, and he couldn’t stop talking even if he tried. “Don’t you guys understand that? He’s scared! He’s scared that James is going to die!”

“That’s exactly why he should be here, so-“

“No!” Alex isn’t aware of standing up, but he finds himself swaying on his feet as he looks around wildly at everyone. “Don’t you all get it? Don’t you get what Thomas must be feeling? He’s so scared of James leaving him behind so he’s trying to leave first! It might not make sense to us, and yeah it might be stupid, but he's scared! He doesn’t want to get hurt!”

Alex takes a few deep breaths as everyone continues to stare up at him. His eyes find Aaron, who is staring back at him with his lips slightly parted, but he shuts them and clenches his jaw when Alex makes eye contact. Next to him, Bellamy is staring at Alex with an expression he doesn’t quite understand.

“He’s scared.” Alex repeats, needing everyone to understand. “And…and people do stupid things when they’re scared.” His takes in a shuddering breath, feeling his hands start to shake. He clenches them into fists. “People do stupid things when they’re in love.” Alex’s voice cracks on the last word and he squeezes his eyes shut momentarily, trying to regain control.

When he opens them again, Aaron is still staring at him, an expression flashing across his face before going blank. Alex's heart pounds quickly in his chest. He takes a step back, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. He passes a hand over his face and feels a laugh escape him.

“I’m…” He’s having trouble taking in breaths. “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t know who the words are directed at, but he feels like he needs to say them. “I’m sorry.” He stumbles back until his hands are on the doorknob, and he wrenches the door open, walking quickly down the hall, desperate to be away from everyone’s stares.

He barely makes it outside of the hospital before he hears footsteps following him, and when he turns around, he sees Aaron walking towards him with hesitant steps, his face still unreadable.

Alex folds his arms over his chest, hugging his arms tightly around his body as a shiver runs through him despite the warm breeze. Aaron stops a few feet in front of him, but doesn’t say anything. Under his gaze, Alex feels the dam inside him burst, and sobs start to escape his lips.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, unable to look at Aaron, too scared to see the expression in his eyes, worried that it will be one of hatred. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I’m so-I’m-“ Alex stumbles over the words as tears cloud his vision. “I’m…” He breaks off again and lets out a shaky gasp when a pair of arms suddenly surround him, pulling him into a warm hug.

A fresh wave of tears leave Alex’s eyes as he pushes his face against Aaron’s shoulder. His body shakes with sobs, but Aaron’s arms are firm, one hand resting on Alex’s back as the other cups the back of his neck. Aaron still doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t let go. He just holds Alex tightly as he continues to cry.

Alex’s thoughts are running a mile a minute, and he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to swallow down his sobs, but it doesn’t work. So he focuses on the feeling of Aaron against him, the soothing feeling of the hand on his back rubbing small circles into his skin. A choked laugh escapes Alex when he realizes how absurd this situation is, that Aaron is the one comforting Alex when Alex is the one who hurt Aaron. Everything is so messed up, and it's all his fault.

After a while, Alex feels his breathing start to slow down. He sniffles loudly, keeping his eyes closed as he breathes in and out. He lets himself enjoy the feeling of being held by Aaron for a moment longer before stepping back, opening his eyes keeping them on the ground as Aaron’s arms drop slowly back to his sides.

Alex lifts his head, and when he does, he sees that Bellamy had followed Aaron outside, and is watching them from a distance. Alex ignores him and moves his eyes back to Aaron’s, swallowing a few times as he does so.

“Aaron…” Alex starts, wanting to tell him everything that he’s been thinking these past few weeks, but swallows the words down, not sure if now is the right time to say everything he wants to. “I’m…I just…I’m sorry. And…I understand if you…if you hate me, but I-“

“I don’t hate you.” Aaron’s voice is so soft that Alex thinks that he imagined him saying the words. “I don’t hate you.” Aaron says again, his voice louder, a look in his eyes that suggests he’s surprised himself with his own words.

“Okay.” Alex breathes out, not daring to say anything else in case he ruins the moment. But then more words are rising in his throat, itching to get out. “Aaron…” He starts, but the other man shakes his head, his jaw tight. He looks at Alex with guarded eyes.

“I can’t.” He tells him. “Not now…not…not yet.”

Alex nods, a small feeling of disappointment inching into his chest, but he understands. He nods again, and attempts to smile at Aaron.

“Okay.” He says again, watching as Aaron takes a small step back. “But…” Alex trails off, and Aaron pauses. “I am sorry.” Alex tries to put as much emotion and truth into the words as he can, desperate for Aaron to believe him.

Aaron looks at him, searching his face, but for what Alex doesn’t know. And whatever he’s looking for, Alex isn’t sure if he finds it. Aaron's expression doesn’t change, and after a moment, he simply nods at him.

“I am too.” He says quietly, and then he’s turning around, walking away from Alex and passing by Bellamy as he re-enters the hospital.

Alex watches him go, and then he takes a deep breath through his nose. It’s not exactly the way he wanted the conversation to go, if he can even call it a conversation. But it was a start, a tiny step in the right direction.

“Alex.”

He snaps his head in the direction of the voice, and sees Bellamy walking towards him. He watches him approach warily, unsure of what he wants to say, but once again, he’s surprised when Bellamy offers him a small smile.

“Just…” Bellamy looks at him and sighs, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Just give him time.”

Alex stares at him, wondering why Bellamy is giving him this advice, wondering why he’s being so nice. But then Bellamy has always been so nice; Alex had just failed to realize that before. He still hasn’t said anything in response when Bellamy sighs again and turns to go back inside as well.

“Hey.” Alex says, finding his voice. Bellamy turns back to him, an eyebrow raised. “I…thanks. Thanks for…” _for being there for him_ , Alex thinks to himself, _for being so good to him when I wasn’t_. “Just…thanks, for everything.”

Alex hopes Bellamy understands the unspoken sentiment in his words, and by the way Bellamy smiles at him, Alex thinks he does.

“I just want him to be happy.” Alex murmurs after a beat. Bellamy stares at him in silence but then nods, another smile forming on his face.

“Well,” He says, taking a step back, “that’s something we have in common.” And then he’s turning around and walking back into the hospital, leaving Alex standing alone on the sidewalk.

-

The next few days pass in somewhat of a blur.

Alex goes back to see James a few more times, but he doesn’t run into Aaron again. He doesn’t try to reach out to him again either, doing his best to remind himself what everyone has been telling him; give it time.

_Time._

Alex has always been bad with waiting. He wants immediate results; wants things to just get better and go back to normal right away. He picks up his phone numerous times with the intent of calling Aaron, but he forces himself to put it down each time, chanting at himself in his mind to _wait, wait, wait._

One day, he’s sitting on the couch just staring down at his phone when Herc walks in, disrupting his daily internal battle on whether he should call Aaron. Alex watches his friend toe off his shoes and gives him a small nod when Herc looks over in his direction.

“Hey man.” Herc says, stepping over to him. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Alex grunts in response, feeling hesitant to talk, but Herc comes over and sits down next to him anyway.

“Eliza and I are going on vacation this summer, like mid May, to North Carolina. She has a friend with a house there that they’re letting us stay in it for about two months.”

“Sounds great.” Alex says, not sure why Herc is telling him this. “Have fun.”

“Do you want to come with us?”

“Uh…” Alex stares at Herc with furrowed brows. “Do I want to be the third wheel during yours and Eliza’s romantic vacation get away? Tempting, but I’m gonna have to go with no.”

“Alex.” Herc rolls his eyes. “Listen, I’m trying to say this as nicely as I can, but you’ve looked like shit for almost a month, and I think it would be good for you to just get away for a little while. Plus, the house is big, it’s not like you’d be able to hear me and Eliza when we-“

Alex throws a pillow at Herc, causing him to stop talking mid sentence. He snorts when Herc shoots him a glare, but then he sits up a little straighter on the couch and chews his lip as he considers Herc’s offer.

It _would_ be nice to get away from everything. Sure, it might be awkward to watch his ex girlfriend and one of his best friends be all lovey dovey with each other, but then Alex doesn’t have to be around them all the time, he could go off and do his own thing.

“I’ll have to talk to Washington…” Alex says slowly, and Herc beams at him.

“Great! Let me know what he says!” He slaps a large hand on Alex’s knee before getting up.

Once he’s gone, Alex leans back into the couch with a sigh. The idea of taking a break is only half of the reason Alex is considering accepting Herc’s offer, the other half is Aaron.

Alex knows now that Aaron doesn't hate him, and he has been holding onto a small sliver of hope ever since their last interaction that he and Aaron can fix things, that they can move past Alex’s mistakes. But he knows that he has to wait, that he can’t rush things, or everything will come breaking down again. He has to let Aaron take his time. And this vacation could help Alex give Aaron the space he needs, could help them start to heal, could help them get back to where they used to be.

It could give them the time that they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya gotta give Alex some credit for at least trying. Do you think he'll succeed?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Kudos are appreciated and comments are adored. Follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to! 
> 
> :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another update. Hope you guys like it!
> 
> Enjoy x

Aaron can feel Thomas shifting restlessly next to him on the bed, but he keeps his eyes closed, determined to actually get some sleep tonight. He hasn't gotten any since he last spoke to Alexander, just keeps replaying that moment over and over in his head, a swirl of emotions flowing through him. He just feels so exhausted by everything.

So Aaron keeps his eyes closed, and prays that Thomas will just fall back asleep. But then he feels Thomas moving the pillow Aaron had wedged between them (Thomas has a habit of cuddling in his sleep) and then Thomas is poking him hard on the back.

“Aaron..” Thomas’s voice is soft enough that Aaron thinks he can get away with not responding, but then Thomas pokes him again. _“Aaron.”_ His voice is louder this time, and Aaron sighs before turning the on bedside lamp and rolling onto his back. When he looks over at Thomas, the other man has dark circles under his eyes, which are still red and puffy from crying. Thomas cries a lot these days.

“What is it?” Aaron asks softly, trying to push down the annoyance at being woken up. He knows that Thomas is dealing with a lot, and that Thomas needs him.

“Have I ever told you about mine and James’s first date?” He asks, a smile on his face and his eyes distant. “It was the worst, but it was also perfect.”

“The one where you took him to Applebee’s?”

“Yeah.” Thomas breathes out, his smile getting wider. “But I took him to this fancy French restaurant first. I was trying so hard to impress him, but the food there ended up being awful, so I panicked and drove him to Applebee’s.” Thomas lets out a small laugh. “But we were both so starving we really didn’t care.”

“That sounds nice.” Aaron tells him, smiling at the story. Then he feels his chest tighten a little, thinking back to his and Alexander’s first official date. How they had danced together under all the Christmas lights at Thomas's house.

“I was drinking a milkshake.” Thomas continues, pulling Aaron back out of his thoughts. “And I got some on my lip, and James kept trying to point it out but I kept missing it with the napkin so he leaned over and…” Thomas’s eyes find Aaron’s, and Aaron can see the emotion practically spilling from him. “He put his hand on my face,” Thomas’s hand goes to his cheek, like he’s reliving the moment, “and he kissed me for the first time, whispering “got it” before sitting back down in his seat.”

Aaron watches in silence as Thomas’s eyes get more distant, as he gets more and more lost in the memory. Aaron lets his own mind travel to the first time he had kissed Alexander. Aaron closes his eyes, imagines that he can feel Alexander’s lips on his again. He remembers how the moment had been ruined by Aaron thinking Alexander hadn’t really wanted him. He opens his eyes and sighs. They had always been so bad at communicating with each other, had wasted so much time be angry with one another.

“We were at an art festival once.” Thomas’s voice starts again. “Had been dating for a few months. We were looking at a painting and I was just going on and on about what I thought of it, trying to sound smart. James is so smart, has always been so smart,” Thomas swallows. “I wanted to impress him so bad, so I kept talking like I knew everything about the piece.”

“Sounds like you.” Aaron murmurs, and Thomas lets out a watery laugh.

“James was so good about it, even though I must have been annoying as hell. We moved onto the next painting and I did the same thing, and then James reached out and took my hand mid-sentence, stopping me.” Thomas smiles, but Aaron sees the tear that slips down his cheek. “He looked at me with this big smile, and told me he loved me.”

“Thomas…” Aaron wants to tell him that he doesn’t need to say any of this, doesn’t need to make himself feel this way, but Thomas shakes his head before Aaron can continue.

“I love him so much.”

“I know you do.” Aaron responds softly, reaching out and taking Thomas’s hand. Aaron can’t stop his mind from going back to that night at Thomas’s house again, the night of the Christmas party. He thinks about how Alexander had looked at him that night as they had sat at the piano, how a feeling that Aaron hadn’t felt in years had started to bloom in his chest.

“That’s where he proposed to me, you know.” Thomas says, once again pulling Aaron out of his thoughts. “At the place the art festival had been. He drove me down there, but of course it was just this empty street then, and I had no idea what he was thinking, bringing me there for a date. I turned around to ask, and there he was, down on one knee with a ring in his hand.” Thomas makes a sound in the back of his throat, and Aaron feels him squeeze his hand tightly. “That was the best night of my life.”

They lapse into silence after that, Thomas staring at the ceiling as Aaron continues to watch him, trying to think of something to say to him. Before anything can come to mind, Thomas is sitting straight up in the bed, a wild look in his eyes.

“Thomas?” Aaron asks, sitting up as well.

“I have to go see him.” Thomas says, throwing the blankets off and standing up. “I have to go to the hospital.”

“Thomas, wait!” Aaron stands up and walks over so he’s in front of Thomas. “It’s three in the morning, they won’t let you see him, you-“

“I don’t care!” Thomas says loudly, trying to move around Aaron. “I’ll wait till I can see him, I have to see him. What the fuck have I been doing just _sitting_ here? He’s my fiancé and I haven’t even been there!” Thomas’s voice breaks, and Aaron sees his shoulders shake.

“Thomas, it’s okay, it’s okay!” Aaron puts a hand on his shoulder, making the other man look at him. “He would understand, it’s fine.” But Thomas shakes his head again, his eyes squeezing shut.

“I need to go, I have to talk to him.”

“Thomas you have to understand, he’s barely been conscious, the medicine he’s on, it-“

“I don’t _care!”_ Thomas yells, throwing Aaron’s hand off. “Then I’ll sit with him, he’ll know I’m there. He knows I haven’t been there, so I’m going to go. I have to see him!”

Aaron watches as Thomas takes in deep breaths, his hands going to his face as he does. A few moments later, he lifts his head and looks at Aaron with imploring eyes. He steps forward and leans down so his forehead is resting on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Please, Aaron. I _have_ to go see him.”

“Okay.” Aaron murmurs, stepping back and looking up at Thomas. “Okay.”

Aaron waits as Thomas slips on his shoes that are next to the bed before leading him out of the room. They open the door and step out into the living room, Aaron turning to the couch to wake up Jon, but sees that he’s already sitting up, car keys in hand. He smiles when they both walk in.

“Sorry.” He says, standing up. “But It was kind of hard to not overhear your conversation, but I can drive you down, Thomas, if you-“ The rest of his sentence is cut off when Thomas strides over and wraps his arms around Jon.

Aaron hears a muffled “thank you” leave Thomas's lips before he’s stepping away and bounding out of the door. Jon turns to Aaron with surprise on his face, and Aaron just shrugs; Thomas has always been unpredictable. Aaron moves to grab his jacket but then Jon has a hand on his elbow.

“You stay.” He tells Aaron gently, hand traveling up to the back of his neck in a comforting gesture. “You look tired. I’ll drive Thomas up and be back later.”

“Have I told you how much I appreciate everything you’ve been doing?” Aaron asks with a small sigh, and Jon just smiles at him, his hand still warm on his skin. “I don’t think I could get through this without you here.”

“Yeah, well,” Jon laughs and steps back from him, looking away, “what are friends for, right?” He says the words with a strange tone, and Aaron almost asks if something is wrong, but he stops himself. Jon is probably just tired. They all are.

“I’ll see you when you get back.” Aaron says, and Jon nods, slipping out of the door without another word.

-

Two days go by, and Thomas has taken to spending every waking moment at James’s side.

The doctors say that James is showing signs of improvement. He still isn’t conscious for long periods of time, but they say that they can probably take him off of the respirator soon and lessen his dosage of medication. If he responds well, they say that he should be fine and can go home soon.

The news takes a weight off of Aaron that he hadn't necessarily been aware he was carrying. It helps his mind clear a little, but that also makes him think about Alexander more and more.

His mind keeps going back to Thomas talking about how he and James had fallen in love, and Aaron hates that he compares it to his and Alexander’s relationship. Or does he hate it? He doesn’t know. Everything is still so confused in his mind. He thinks that he wants to try to talk to Alexander about everything, but he doesn’t even know how to begin.

“Have you seen Alex lately?” Jon asks him one morning from where he’s sitting on Aaron’s couch, flipping through his TV channels. Aaron looks up at him, the surprise probably pretty clear on his face; Jon never asks about Alexander.

“No.” Aaron says after a beat. “Not since…” He pauses, replaying the last time he had seen Alexander in his mind again, remembering how he had broken down, how he had let Aaron comfort him, and how wide his eyes had gotten when Aaron told him he didn’t hate him. He remembers the shock he felt himself at the words, because he really doesn't hate Alexander, not even a little. “Not since the time at the hospital.” Aaron finishes, putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. He knows Jon had seen what had happened between them, but he has never asked Aaron for any of the details. “Why?”

“Just wondering.” Jon says with a shrug, but then his eyes flick over to Aaron’s. “I talked to him after you went inside. Just for a second.”

“You did?” Aaron asks, eyebrows shooting up. “What…what did he say?”

“That he wants you to be happy.”

Aaron laughs at that before he can stop himself, and then he leans on the counter, his head in his hands. It's funny because he doesn’t even know what will make him happy at this point. Aaron thinks that he wants Alexander, wants to give him a second chance, but he doesn’t know if it’s too soon, or if it's the right choice to make. What if something happens between them again and things just fall apart all over?

“I told him to just give you time.” Jon continues when Aaron doesn't say anything, and Aaron lifts his head to see Jon staring blankly at the TV, the remote just resting in his hand.

“How do I know when I’ve had enough time?” Aaron asks out loud, more to himself, but Jon still turns and gives him a small smile.

“You’ll know.” He tells him firmly. “I...I think you already know what you _want_ to do, you’re just trying to decide if it’s what you _should_ do. But you shouldn't wait too long, if it is what you want, if _he's_ what you want.” Jon's smile grows a little tighter around the edges. "Don't make the same mistake that I did."

Aaron opens his mouth to ask Jon what he means, but then his phone vibrates in his pocket, and he sees Thomas’s name flashing across the screen, so he pauses and answers it.

“Hello?”

“You need to come to the hospital.” Thomas’s voice chokes out immediately, his voice thick with tears. “You have to come right now!”

“Thomas, why? What happened?” Aaron asks, his pulse quickening. He sees Jon sit up straighter on the couch from the corner of his eye. “What is it?”

“Just come!” Thomas tells him again. The line goes dead.

Aaron pockets his phone with shaking hands and rushes over to the door, pulling on his shoes as Jon walks over to him, a question in his eyes. Aaron straightens up and looks at him, too scared to voice the possibility of what might have happened.

“We have to go to the hospital. Now.”

They make it there quickly, probably breaking twenty traffic laws along the way, but they make it. Aaron and Jon rush into the hospital and straight towards James’s room, Aaron’s heart pounding the entire time _. He’s okay_ , he tells himself _, James is okay, he’s not_ …Aaron shakes the thought from his head as he turns the corner of the hallway.

He stops in front of the door to James’s room, trying to calm down, but he doesn’t want to open that door, doesn’t want to know what’s waiting on the other side. But Jon reaches over and takes Aaron’s hand in his before reaching out with his other to push the door open.

When Aaron steps in, his heart stops.

Thomas is there, his shoulders shaking as he sits on the bed with his arms wrapped around James. It's the sight of James that makes Aaron stop in his tracks; he's is sitting up on the bed, pillow propped behind his back, and there's no respirator over his mouth; he's breathing on his own. There's a small smile on his face as he rubs Thomas’s back. 

“James.” Aaron breathes out, his heart starting slow back down. James turns to him with a wider smile, and Thomas straightens up at the sound of Aaron's voice and then he bounds off of the bed towards Aaron, throwing his arms around him.

“He’s okay.” Thomas sobs, and Aaron lets a laugh escape him as he takes in the news. “He’s going to be okay, he’s okay!” Thomas lets go of him as the door opens again, and Aaron turns to see Angelica and Eliza rushing in, with Alexander close behind.

Aaron's amazement only grows as he watches Thomas stumble over to the door and throw his arms around Alexander, sobbing into his shoulder next. Aaron sees Alexander freeze in shock, but then he brings his arms up as well, patting Thomas awkwardly on the back. Thomas lets him go and goes to hug Angelica and Eliza quickly before going back over to James. He leans over the bed and presses small kisses to his lips, murmuring things that no one else can hear. Aaron watches for a moment, then lets his eyes travel over to Alexander, who is already looking right back at him.

Aaron breathes in deeply through his nose, feeling his heart starting to speed up again, but he doesn’t let his eyes drop from Alexander's. He feels so exposed in this moment as Alexander searches his face, looking for something. A warm feeling is building in Aaron’s chest, a desperate feeling, and he’s suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to talk to Alexander. He opens his mouth, but then lets it close as James's laughter fills the room.

“Thomas.” His voice is hoarse, but there’s still a smile on is face as he pushes his fiancé back playfully. “Let me catch my breath.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Thomas whispers, but he just moves his lips to James’s cheek, peppering it with kisses. “God, James, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for not being here sooner.”

“It’s fine, you’re here now.”

“I should have been here from the beginning.”

Aaron watches as Thomas ducks his head so it’s resting on James’s shoulder, but James brings his hands up and lifts Thomas’s chin so they’re staring at each other again, and then he’s pressing a soft kiss to Thomas’s lips.

“It’s okay. We’ve got a whole lifetime together ahead of us.” He murmurs, and Aaron can feel a pair of eyes on him, burning into him, but he doesn’t look. He knows whose they are. “I forgive you, Thomas. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Aaron continues to stand there, feeling frozen to the spot as Thomas and James smile at each other. Finally, he lets his eyes drift back over to Alexander, who is now staring down at the floor, his lip caught between his teeth and his hands are shoved into his pockets. He slowly looks up, and Aaron can see the tears that are starting in his eyes, and something tugs at his heart. He wants to do something, say something, but he...he...

_"But you shouldn't wait too long, if it is what you want, if he's what you want..."_

Jon’s words ring through Aaron’s head, and they make him take a small step towards Alexander. Aaron knows what he wants. He wants Alexander, wants him back in his life, he wants to at least try to start rebuilding what they had. Even if Alexander might not necessarily deserve a second chance, Aaron thinks that _he_ does. Because he misses Alexander. Despite everything, he misses him so much, and he doesn't want to wait anymore.

“We’ll have to move the wedding back.” Thomas says suddenly, and Aaron pulls himself from his thoughts and looks back over at him and James. “So you have time to recover. Maybe to next spring?”

“Spring sounds great.”

“And there would be flowers in bloom and everything.” Thomas says with a happy sigh, and Aaron smiles to himself before glancing back at Alexander, who he sees is suddenly taking small steps towards the door. “And my purple tux would look great with a spring backdrop.”

“Whatever you want, Thomas.”

Aaron continues to watch Alexander as he quietly opens the door and steps out, and only waits a small moment before following. When he exits the room, he looks down the hallway to see Alexander with his back to him, his shoulder leaning against one of the walls. Aaron walks slowly over to him, and puts a hand gently on his shoulder.

Alexander jumps and spins around, and Aaron sees the tears on his cheeks before he's hastily wiping them away. Neither of them say anything, and Aaron lets his hand drop from Alexander's shoulder, noting the way Alexander tracks the movement with his eyes.

"I..." Alexander looks up at him and clears his throat, attempting a small smile. "It was just getting kind of crowded in there, so..."

"Sure." Aaron says, and he rocks on his feet as he searches his mind for something else to say, because he _should_ say something else, needs to, if he wants to start fixing things. But his mind is strangely blank as he watches Alexander blink up at him.

"Thomas seems better." Alexander says after a moment, and Aaron laughs, thankful that he broke the silence first.

"Yeah. Yeah, he does. And..." Aaron bites the inside of his cheek briefly before continuing. "And you? How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I've just been trying to keep busy at work. Washington got kind of pissed at me for slacking off a few weeks ago because of-well it doesn't matter why but I'm back to working at my usual break neck pace now. And I've been living with John and Herc which has been great-I mean, not as great as living with y-" Alexander winces and shakes his head. "But that's...I mean obviously there's a reason for why I'm not-but yeah I'm doing great, really good. Good, good, g-"

"Alexander." Aaron says his name softly, but Alexander still jumps, and then he's taking in a deep breath.

"Sorry." He breathes out, reaching a hand back to rub at the back of his neck. "I've been working on...on things, but I still have a bad habit of rambling."

"I'm glad." Aaron says, smiling down at Alex and feeling his heart beat a little quicker when Alex smiles back, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. But then he's raising his eyebrows at Aaron, a small smirk forming on his lips.

"You're glad I still ramble?"

"No, I-" Aaron breaks off with a laugh, and feels his own face grow warm as Alexander laughs as well, peeking up at Aaron through his lashes. "That's not exactly what I meant." Aaron tells him once he's regained his composure. "I meant that I'm glad you're working on things, and that you're doing well." He watches as Alexander gives a small nod at his words, and then Aaron forces himself to continue before he loses the courage. "And I've always loved your rambling."

Alexander's face flushes even more and he makes a funny noise in the back of his throat that makes Aaron smile and duck his head. _Good, this is good_ , he thinks to himself, they can still talk to each other, still joke around. They can fix this. They can be okay. 

They both stand there in silence again, stealing the occasional glance at the other. _You should ask him for a drink_ , Aaron tells himself, _ask him if he wants to sit down and talk._ He opens his mouth to say the words, but then Alexander is speaking before he can get anything out.

"I'm going to North Carolina for two months." Alexander says quickly, and Aaron feels something in his stomach drop. "I...with Herc and Eliza, they invited to go with them in May, and...and I said yes. I thought it would be a good break...that it would give me some time to...to think." He says the words like they should mean something to Aaron, but Aaron doesn't understand, he just feels numb.

"Oh." He responds, suddenly feeling stupid for thinking that things could get better. Because Alexander is _leaving_ , going away for two whole months. He doesn't want to fix things, he just wants to run. Alexander doesn't want to be with him, and Aaron feels so stupid. "Well, that's good." Aaron hears himself say. "Good. I hope you have a good time."

"Aaron." Alexander says his name in a way that forces Aaron to glance back up at him, and Alexander is looking at him with big, searching eyes. "Is there, do you...I mean, is there a reason I shouldn't go?"

"I..." Aaron sighs and tilts his head back so he's look at the ceiling, and not at Alexander's eyes. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to think. He shouldn't be mad if this is what Alexander wants. He should just accept it, because he...Aaron sighs again and looks back down at Alexander. "I..." He pauses again and reaches out a hand before he can stop himself, and he tucks a strand of Alexander's hair behind his ear. "I just want you to be happy."

Alexander follows the movement of Aaron's fingers, his head tilting so his cheek is pushing against his hand. Aaron hears him take in a shaky breath, and he lets his fingers trail gently over Alexander's cheekbone and down to his jaw before stepping back, a strange tingling feeling spreading from his fingers up to the rest of his arm. 

Aaron turns around as he hears a door open, and he sees Angelica, Eliza, and Jon stepping out of James's room. They spot him and Alexander and make their way over to them, and Aaron sees the way that Jon looks between them before glancing at Aaron.

"We figured we should give Thomas and James some alone time." Angelica explains as she gets to them, and she reaches out to give Aaron's hand a small squeeze. "Everything good?"

"Sure." Aaron tells her with a smile, and he sees her eyes move to Alexander as well before back to him.

"Well, I need to get back home to feed Laf and Peggy's cat, so..." She jingles the car keys she's holding in her hand, and Alexander shuffles over to stand next to her and Eliza. 

"Okay..." Aaron says as he watches them start to leave, disappointment building in his chest as his eyes focus on Alexander's retreating form. Then he watches as Alexander turns to look at him over his shoulder.

"I..." Alexander turns around completely, making Eliza and Angelica stop as well. Alexander shifts on his feet as he stares at Aaron. "I didn't ask how you were doing. Are you doing...are you doing better?"

"I'm..." Aaron feels the strange urge to laugh, but he swallows it down. 'I'm fine."

Alexander looks at him a moment longer before nodding, and then he's turning back around to walk away.

-

Later that night, Aaron is wiping down the kitchen counter, probably a little too vigorously, when Jon steps over and leans across it, blocking Aaron's cleaning pathway. 

"So, you wanna talk about it?" Jon asks, and Aaron turns away from him to throw the rag he'd been using in the sink.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Aaron, come on. You've been acting off ever since we got back from the hospital. I'm not stupid, something happened with Alex. Just tell me what it is."

"It's..." Aaron passes a hand over his eyes and takes a deep breath. "It's nothing, it's not a big deal." He sees Jon throw him a skeptical look. " _Really,_ I'm fine. Alexander just told me that he's going to be out of town for two months in the summer and...and it just caught me off guard."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to talk to him!" Aaron says, his voice rising without his permission. "I...I thought he would want to take that time to...to fix things, to talk to me, to...well, whatever. He doesn't."

"Did he actually say that? That he doesn't want to?"

"He may as well have." Aaron snaps out, angry at himself for feeling angry over the whole thing. "But it's _fine._ I get it, he wants to move on, he doesn't-"

"Are you really that stupid?" Jon interjects angrily, and Aaron stops talking mid sentence, shocked at the outburst. "You really think that he's leaving because he doesn't want to try? God, Aaron, come on, you're smarter than that."

"Jon, what-"

"He loves you!" Jon yells at him, stepping around the counter so he's in front of Aaron. He pokes him hard in the chest. "And you love him! So why would you just give up like that? Are you scared?"

"I'm not giving up!" Aaron argues, taking a step back, still confused by Jon's anger. "Maybe it's just too late for me and Alexander, maybe things are just supposed to be over between us!"

"Bullshit, that's bullshit and you know it! You have someone that you love who loves you back and you're just going to let him _go?"_

“I'm not letting him go!” Aaron yells, throwing his hands up in the air. “ _He's_ going, he’s the one who's leaving, and maybe I just need to accept that, that it's just too late for us!”

Aaron watches as Jon’s face changes from anger, to sadness, to determination, and then to something else that Aaron can't decipher. He’s trying to figure out what it is when suddenly Jon is stepping even closer to him, and one of his hands is going to the back of Aaron’s neck, pulling him in. Then their lips are touching, and a light goes off in Aaron’s head.

_Oh._

Jon’s lips are soft on his, his hand a warm presence on the back of his neck, and then the other is coming up to cup the side of his face. Aaron lets his eyes flutter shut and breathes through his nose, pressing back with his own mouth, just a little, a gentle pressure.

It’s easy to let his mind go back to high school, to all the other times him and Jon had done this. Aaron has fond memories of those times, but here, right now, something about the kiss doesn’t feel right. It’s not what he wants, not _who_ he wants, it’s not…

Jon pulls back, his breath coming quickly and Aaron opens his eyes to see that Jon’s are still closed, like he’s concentrating. Then his lips are pressing against Aaron's one more time before Jon pulls completely back, opening his eyes to look at Aaron.

“Be honest with me.” He murmurs, eyes dark. “Who were you thinking of during that kiss?”

“Jon…”

“Tell me.” He says louder. “Just tell me, Aaron.”

“Alexander.” Aaron whispers, and he watches as Jon nods, like he knew what the answer was going to be all along, but it still makes Aaron reach a hand out to touch Jon’s softly. “Jon…I…”

“I don’t think Alex is the one it’s too late for.” Jon says back, a small smile playing on his lips, but Aaron can see the way his eyes are starting to water.

“God, Jon. I’m, I’m so sorry. I should have…I didn’t realize that…I’m-“

“It’s nothing you need to apologize for.” Jon says, waving a hand and trying to laugh. “Me coming back here, well, I won’t lie, Aaron. I did want to see you again, to be with you, or try to at least. But then I saw how happy you were so I tried to back off, but I think I still came on a little too strong for Alex’s comfort.”

“I liked having you here.” Aaron tells him quietly. “I...I still like having you here. You've been...it's been so good to see you, Jon. You know I love you, but-”

“I know.” Jon gives him a small smile and squeezes his hand before giving a shake of his head. “And I don’t want you to think that I came here _only_ with the expectation of being with you, I'm...we've always been friends and I just, I missed you, and I’m glad I came. I...I care about you Aaron, I've always...”

Aaron nods, and then they stand there in silence, holding each other’s hand but not saying anything else for a moment.

“I know you care about me too.” Jon says suddenly, giving his hand another gentle squeeze. “But I think you care about someone else more. Just, talk to him, alright? Let him explain, cause I can guarantee that he wants to talk to you. But if he does something stupid again, I’ll beat him up myself.”

“Really?” Aaron asks, his lips curling up into a smile. “You’ll beat him up? I have a hard time believing that.”

“Hey, you forget that I played football in high school.”

“Yeah, and you apologized every time you managed to actually tackle someone.”

“Shut up.” Jon says, but then they’re both laughing, and Jon shakes his head at Aaron, his own smile forming on his lips. “Alright. Well, I think I should go. You need to think about things, and I need to let myself think about things as well.”

“Sure.” Aaron says with a nod, and he leads Jon over to the door. “But I’ll….I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah. Of course. You're not getting rid of me that easy.” Jon slips his hand from Aaron’s and opens the door, turning around one more time to look at him. “Just...I’ve regretted letting you slip away from me in high school for so many years, Aaron. So just…don’t wait too long, okay? Don’t let Alex slip away.”

Before Aaron can respond, Jon gives him one last nod and then walks out, the door closing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet I had y'all going for a second there, didn't I? But JAMES LIVES. (also studiokillersareamazing101 and I came up with the James/Jefferson first date/proposal story together on tumblr and it was a blast)
> 
> I would like to take this time to say that Jonathan Bellamy is too good for anyone and deserves the world. This probably isn't the last of him, I'm sure I'll bring him back before the end of the fic, but I hope you all enjoyed him. And hopefully Aaron and Alexander can pull their heads out of their asses long enough to work things out.
> 
> Thanks for reading and kudos/comments are greatly loved and appreciated
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want, and also I started a Hamilton/Pacific Rim fic yesterday and the first chapter is up if you want to give it a read, it would mean a lot!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Aaron Burr Shot Alexander Hamilton Day
> 
> Here's a chapter to commemorate (although this chapter strays a little from historical canon, aka Burr will not shoot Hamilton, instead they just talk and cry a little)
> 
> Enjoy! x

A month.

It’s been a month since the last time Alex saw Aaron. He really thought that, after their last conversation, things would start to get better between them. They had actually talked to each other, had been able to joke around. And then Aaron had touched him, and it had taken all of Alex’s willpower to not just lean forward and kiss the other man.

But then something had shifted, Aaron’s face had dropped and Alex still doesn’t know what he had done wrong. At first he thought that maybe Aaron didn’t want him to go to North Carolina in May, but then Aaron had said that he just wanted Alex to be happy, and that had only confused Alex more, because Aaron had looked so sad when he'd said it.

And then there’s the fact that Aaron hasn’t reached out to Alex since then, and of course that made Alex too nervous to try and reach out to him. He’s leaving in a little over a month to go to North Carolina, and for some reason, Alex feels like if he doesn’t talk to Aaron again before then, they’ll just slip farther apart from each other with no chance of fixing things.

He tries to talk to Dr. Franklin about it, but all he says is for Alex to do what “he feels is right.” And what a big help that is; Alex has no idea what the right thing to do is. He wants to give Aaron the time he needs, but he also wants to run over to his apartment and force him to sit down and talk. But Alex figures that wouldn’t go over very well, so he tries to restrain himself from doing it. 

He does his best to keep himself busy in order to distract himself from thinking too hard about the situation, knowing that if he does, he'll end up making a stupid decision. So after a particularly long week of work, Alex heads to a café, needing some caffeine in his system if he's going to function the rest of the day.

He makes a beeline for the counter, not taking in his surroundings, and that causes him to accidentally bump shoulders with someone else. He mumbles a quick sorry but then stops when he realizes who it is.

“Bellamy?” He asks, standing up straighter and looking at the man in front of him.

“Oh.” Bellamy looks tired, but he gives Alex a small smile anyway. “Hey, Alex. How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?” Alex watches as Bellamy gives a half shrug, and that’s when he notices the two coffee cups in his hands, and Alex's heart starts to speed up a little. “Oh, are you here with…someone?” Alex stops himself from saying Aaron’s name at the last second, but he thinks Bellamy knows what he means because he lets out a small laugh.

“I’m with Angelica.” He motions with one hand, and Alex turns to see Angelica sitting at a table behind them. He only gets a moment to wonder when Bellamy and Angelica had become friends before Bellamy is speaking again. “Why don’t you join us?”

“Oh…uh, I don’t kn-“

“Join us.” Bellamy says again, before stepping around Alex and walking over to the table.

Feeling like he doesn’t have much of a choice, Alex quickly orders his coffee and then reluctantly makes his way over to where Angelica and Bellamy are seated. He sits down, shooting them both a tentative smile.

“Hello, Alexander.” Angelica says, taking a sip of her drink. She doesn’t return his smile. “How have you been?”

“I’m-“

“Have you talked to Aaron lately?” Angelica interrupts him, setting her cup down on the table in front of them.

“Uhm…” Alex looks between her and Bellamy, suddenly thinking that he had made a big mistake in coming to sit down with them. “I…not lately, no.”

“Why not?”

Bellamy’s question catches Alex off guard. He fumbles with the lid of his coffee as he tries to come up with an answer, but the feeling of Bellamy and Angelica’s eyes on him makes him nervous. Eventually he just gives a small shrug.

“I…” He pauses to lick his lips. “I just haven’t been sure if he wants to talk to me, so I just...I’m waiting for him to reach out.”

“God.” Bellamy laughs loudly at Alex’s response and looks over at Angelica with an exasperated expression on his face. “They’re perfect for each other.” He shakes his head and turns back to Alex. “Have you ever thought about the fact that he could be waiting for you to do the same?”

“Of course he hasn’t.” Angelica interjects again before Alex can respond. “Alex doesn’t think of other people very often.”

Alex immediately opens his mouth to argue, but then he snaps it shut. Mouthing off to Angelica probably isn’t the best course of action, especially not when she has a hot beverage in her hand. Alex has a feeling that he could easily find that beverage being poured onto him if he isn’t careful.

“I have been trying to think about what Aaron wants.” Alex says slowly, carefully. “I…I usually jump at opportunities too quickly, push things to go too fast, so I…I’ve just been trying to slow down.”

Bellamy gives Alex a small smile at his words, but Angelica just raises her eyebrows and takes another sip of her coffee. An uncomfortable silence falls over the table, and Alex shifts in his seat, wondering if he should just get up and leave.

“Don’t you think a month has been long enough to wait?” Bellamy asks suddenly, head tilted to the side as he looks at him. “I know I said give it time, but I didn't mean take an entire century. You should just talk to him.”

“What?” Alex asks, a small laugh escaping him. “I should just show up unannounced at his place?”

“Sure.” Bellamy responds with a shrug, and then he rolls his eyes at Alex’s surprised look. “Seriously, you two act like just sitting down and talking will be the end of the world.”

Alex bites his lip at that, not wanting to say that it very well could be; he’s still worried of saying something that will make everything come crumbling back down. Bellamy and Angelica must be able to sense what he’s thinking, because they both look at each other again and sigh.

“Alex.” Angelica says, voice much softer than before. “Either you talk to him, or you don’t. One situation could turn out bad, sure, or it could turn out very well. The other situation will just leave you guessing forever. You just need to make a choice.”

Alex holds her gaze for a moment before nodding and looking down at his hands. He knows that what she’s saying is true, he’s just being a coward. He’s always been a coward, always taking the easier route when it comes to problems, which usually means he just ignores them until they fix themselves. But this isn’t going to fix itself.

“I’ll talk to him.” Alex murmurs, looking back up at the two of them. “I’ll…I’ll talk to him, I will. I swear.”

“Good.” Angelica says, but then she looks him up and down, a frown forming on her face. “But Alex, if you say something to him again that hurts him, I really will kick your ass. He didn’t tell me exactly what you said, but he told me it was about Theodosia.”

Alex swallows, his stomach clenching at her words, guilt and shame immediately building in his chest.

“And it’s probably best that I don’t know the exact words,” Angelica continues, “because I’m sure if I did, I wouldn’t be as calm as I am right now. But it’s also not my place to make Aaron’s choices for him. He knows what makes him happy, and if anyone on this earth deserves to be happy, it’s him.” Angelica pauses, looking at him again before letting her lips curve into a smile. “And apparently, for reasons beyond my comprehension, you made him happy, you _still_ make him happy.”

Alex feels his heart flutter at her words, and he can’t stop a small smile from forming on his face. He takes a deep breath through his nose and nods. If Aaron is willing to give him a second chance, then Alex would be stupid to throw that opportunity away.

“Well...” Bellamy says after a moment, “Angelica and I should be going. It was nice to talk to you, Alex. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” He stands up and Angelica follows suit, but before they can walk away, Alex reaches out a hand to stop Angelica.

“I…” He looks up at her and gives a small shake of his head. “I know I screwed up, Angelica, I screwed up big time. I don’t deserve a second chance. But I…I really…” Alex closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again. “I really do love him.”

Alex watches as Bellamy ducks his head to smile at the floor, and Angelica looks back at Alex, her eyes narrowed as she takes in what he says. Finally, she gives him a short nod before stepping back.

“I’m not the one you should be telling that to.” She takes another step back and motions for Bellamy to follow, and Alex watches as both of them slip outside and start to walk away.

Once they're gone, Alex leans back in his chair and takes a long sip of his drink, wincing a little when the liquid burns his throat. He glances out of the window, letting his eyes follow random people as he thinks.

There’s no turning back now, no way out. He has to talk to Aaron.

-

When Alex gets back home to the apartment that night, he has it all to himself. Herc is out, probably with Eliza, and John doesn’t get off of work for another two hours. So he should probably make good use of having the place to himself.

Alex only hesitates a moment before throwing his bag down and making his way over to the couch. He props his feet up on the table and then digs into his pocket for his phone, his heart starting to pound a little harder than usual. _Now is as good a time as any other_ , he thinks to himself. When he finally looks down at his phone, his heart skips a beat.

Aaron has tried to call him twice.

Alex lets his eyes roam over the front of his screen a few times, just to make sure that the words " _two missed calls from Aaron Burr-tiful"_ aren’t just a trick of the light. Both calls had come during the time Alex had been at the café, and he laughs to himself at the thought of what would have happened if Bellamy and Angelica had seen the name flashing across his phone screen.

He only hesitates a moment more before unlocking his phone and pressing the call button. With each ring, Alex feels his heart beating faster and faster. He almost chickens out, almost hangs up, but then Aaron’s voice is speaking from the other end.

“Hello?”

“Aaron!” Alex practically shouts, and he hears Aaron swear at how loud his voice is. “Oh, god, sorry. I didn’t mean to-anyway, hi! How…how are you?”

“I’m…I’m good. How are you?”

“Good.” Alex breathes out, his heart still beating a little too quick for comfort. “I…I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out getting coffee.”

“Of course you were.” Aaron murmurs softly, and Alex thinks that his voice sounds almost fond, but then the sound of Aaron clearing his throat comes across the line. “I mean…that’s fine. I wasn’t sure if you were out of work yet so I just…I thought I would just give you a call.”

“Right.” Alex responds, and then a silence falls over the conversation. When it seems like Aaron isn’t going to say anything else, Alex forces himself to keep speaking. “Uhm, is there a reason that you called?”

“Oh, not really. I mean, to talk to you, obviously, but that kind of goes without saying I guess. I mean, why else would I have called.” Aaron sounds suddenly nervous, and Alex feels himself smile. He rarely hears Aaron sound flustered. For some reason that calms him, the fact that Aaron is nervous too.

“Well, I’m glad you called.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Alex smiles grows wider at the exchange, and he feels his stomach start to flutter. “Is there…is there something specific you wanted to talk to me about?”

“I don’t know.” Aaron says, and then he laughs. “I didn’t really plan this out. I just….”

“Just wanted to talk?” Alex finishes for him, and he hears Aaron hum an affirmative. “Good, that’s…that’s good.”

“Yeah…” Aaron trails off, and Alex searches his mind for something to keep the conversation going. He'd like to just continue the small talk, but he knows that he has to say something, that the topic has to come up at some point. 

“Aaron?” Alex asks, looking up at the ceiling as another feeling starts to build in his stomach “Uhm, could I just…can I say something, really quick? I uhm, I know I’ve said it already but…I’m really sorry for…for everything.”

“I know you are.” Aaron’s voice comes across the line slowly, like he’s preparing each word in his mind before saying them. “And…and I appreciate you saying it again and for…for not just ignoring the problem, or forgetting that I need to hear it. Cause it helps hearing it, that you’re sorry.”

“I’ve always had a bad habit of not following through with things.” Alex says, letting himself laugh quietly despite the nerves still swirling in his stomach. “So I’ve been trying to not do that with this. I want you to know that I’m trying, that I’m not going to give up.” He stops and takes a deep breath as another silence falls.

“You don’t need to tell me that you have trouble going through with things.” Aaron says suddenly, and Alex can hear a slight teasing tone in his voice. “You never did get that Christmas present you promised me.”

“No.” Alex says, another laugh escaping him, but now he feels some of the nerves leave him. “No, I never did. Something else I’ll have to make up to you I guess.”

“I guess so.” Aaron agrees, and Alex thinks he can hear the beginnings of a smile in his voice. “Tell me about your day.”

Realizing that Aaron still isn’t ready to delve into the conversation that they both know they need to have, Alex gives a small nod to himself and starts to tell Aaron everything that had happened that day, including how Bellamy and Angelica had ambushed him into talking to them.

Aaron laughs loudly at that, and Alex smiles. He had missed that sound. He listens happily as Aaron tells him that he has started spending a lot of time at Lafayette and Peggy’s place because he’s taken a liking to their cat, which has the ridiculous name of Monsieur Muffin.

They trade small stories back and forth for the next hour or so, starting to fill each other in on how their lives have been going. Alex tells Aaron how annoying Lee has been at work, and Aaron tells him how Thomas is back to planning his and James’s wedding at full force, which Alex can only imagine is a frightening image.

When John gets back from work and walks in the door, Alex waves at him and mouths “It’s Aaron” and points at the phone excitedly. John smiles at him and gives him a small thumbs up before retreating into his room to give them some privacy.

At some point during the conversation, Alex notices that he’s no longer sitting up, but is lying down on the couch with a pillow clutched to his chest as the other continues to hold the phone to his ear. He smiles to himself, realizing how happy he feels in this moment.

Aaron finishes telling him a story about Thomas making him look at floral arrangements for six hours one day, and then the line goes silent again, and Alex lets his eyes drift shut for a moment.

“Alexander?” Aaron’s voice is soft, but it makes Alex’s eyes fly back open immediately. “I…I need to tell you something, and I need you to not interrupt me until I finish.”

“Okay…”

“Theodosia was my life.” Aaron’s words make Alex’s stomach drop, knowing that the conversation that they’ve been dodging around is about to happen. He clutches the pillow tighter to his chest as Aaron continues. “I loved her so much, still love her, so much, and I can’t...I _won’t_ ever stop feeling that way, and I need you to understand that or this isn’t going to work...I won't _want_ it to work.”

“Aaron,” Alex starts, but Aaron makes a noise to cut him off.

“I’m not done.”

“Sorry…”

“Theodosia was my entire world, and you were the only serious relationship I had since her, so maybe I didn’t try hard enough to…to open my world to you as much as I should have and-“

“Aaron, wait.” Alex winces when he interrupts him, but he can’t let Aaron continue saying what he’s saying. “You didn’t do anything wrong, so please don’t think that. You did everything right, you let me in and…and you were perfect. I just got jealous and lost control, and I was a complete jerk.”

“I must share some of the blame. I mean…Jon did tell me that he came back with an intent to date again, so you had some reason to-“

“I had no reason to say what I said.” Alex interrupts again, squeezing the pillow with is arm. “None. Now, I usually never say this so you might want to record it, but I’m the only one who messed up, I am one hundred percent to blame, okay?”

“At least let me share some of it.”

“Fine, you can have one percent of the blame. No, wait, half of a percent.”

“Okay, half of a percent, then.”

“Okay…” Alex trails off and he lets his eyes close again, guilt and nerves bubbling under his skin. He tries to push those feelings away, tries to tell himself that this is good; it's good they're talking about this. He feels like there's so much he needs to say. “Aaron, I really am so sorry. I just _need_ you to know that I said what I said out of anger, and I know that doesn’t make it okay, and it’s not an excuse. I just…I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t.” Aaron whispers, and Alex feels a tear slip down the bridge of his nose. “Alexander, I forgive you.”

Another tear slips down his nose, and then Alex is crying in earnest, not able to stop the sobs from leaving him. Aaron murmurs comfortingly to him from the other end, and Alex is unable to decipher the words over his tears. But the sound of Aaron’s voice is soothing, and after awhile, he manages to take in a few calming breaths.

“Sorry for crying.” Alex says before sniffling loudly and wiping at his eyes. “I feel like all I do when we talk is cry.” He hears Aaron let out a watery laugh at the words, and Alex experiences a small jolt at the fact that Aaron had started to cry as well. “I mean, that came out wrong, it’s not bad crying necessarily it’s just-“

“I know what you meant, Alexander.” Aaron says, chuckling softly. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“Mm.” Alex takes in another deep breath and exhales through his nose. He closes his eyes again, noticing that they’re suddenly feeling very heavy. “Hey, Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

“If I stop talking to you, it’s cause I fell asleep, alright? I'm not ignoring you.”

“I’m that boring, huh?”

“No.” Alex smiles and shifts on the couch. “You are the exact opposite of boring, I’m just tired.”

“Do you want me to hang up?”

“No.” Alex says again, something stirring in his heart. “No, don’t hang up. Just…just stay there till I fall asleep, please?”

“Yeah…okay.”

Alex feels himself drift in and out of consciousness, Aaron’s steady breathing in his ear helping to calm him down even more. He holds the pillow close to him as a warm feeling spreads through him, making him smile.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“I’m here.”

“I…” Alex sighs and nuzzles his head into the pillow he’s resting against. The words are right on the tip of his tongue, but something stops him. He shouldn’t say them for the first time over the phone. “I just….” He sighs again. “I kind of really missed you.”

He waits for Aaron to respond, wondering if he knows the hidden meaning behind the words. He feels himself grow more and more tired with each second, and can feel that he’s about to fall asleep. But before he does, Alex hears Aaron whisper his response from the other end.

“I kind of really missed you too, Alexander.”

-

Him and Aaron talk more and more over the next couple of weeks, and they even meet up at a café a few times to sit down with each other. Alex is still a little nervous each time, worried that Aaron will change his mind about forgiving him. But this time he voices that worry to Aaron, and each time Aaron reassures him that he hasn’t changed his mind.

They’re slowly starting to heal, slowly starting to come back together.

The topic of Alex’s vacation comes up during one of their conversations, and Aaron tells him to take it, tells him that it will be good for him to go and enjoy some time away from everything, that he deserves it. Alex nods at his words, only feeling a slight disappointment that Aaron doesn’t ask him to stay.

It probably is a good idea for him to get away, seeing as he’s never taken a vacation since he’s started to work at the law firm. Plus, Aaron reassures him that he’ll call him while he’s there, even let Alex fall asleep on the phone with him each night if he wants to. Alex blushes at that, but he tells Aaron he’d like that, because man, would he like that.

As the days continue to pass, Alex’s mind keeps going back to something Aaron had said to him;

_“You never did get that Christmas present you promised me.”_

Alex thinks about it all day as he’s at work, and the thought is still on his mind when he gets home later that night. He’s not sure if the store would still have the gift on hold for him, not after all these months. And then even if he can get it, he’ll need someone to help him get it to Aaron, and that would mean asking one of Aaron's friends for help, probably Jefferson, Angelica or Bellamy.

Alex stands in the living room as he thinks, weighing his options. Finally, he gives a small nod; anything he has to do will be worth it.

He walks over to the many boxes he still has yet to unpack since Aaron kicked him out, and rummages around in one until he finds what he wants; a small box with the money had been saving up for Aaron’s present. Next, he looks up the number of the store in his contacts, and confirms with them that the gift is still there. He tells them that he’ll be there to pick it up tomorrow.

He sets the phone down with a smile after he’s done, and then he sighs. There’s still so much he wants to do for Aaron, so much he wants to tell him that he’s always too nervous to when they’re together. An idea comes to mind, and Alex pauses a moment before digging around in another box and pulling out a journal and a pen, going over to the couch once he has them in hand.

Then, he starts to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY DID IT. THEY SPOKE. THEY ARE HEALING. ARE YOU PROUD?
> 
> Also BIG things will happen next chapter. Like I've had that one planned out for so long, so I can't wait for that. Will probably be out by the end of this week!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and kudos/comments are greatly loved and appreciated, they keep me going. Check out the hamilton/pacific rim fic I started a few days ago as well, which will be updated on saturday.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to! :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x 
> 
> :)

“Aaron… _Aaron!_ ”

Ignoring Thomas’s voice, Aaron continues to stare at the papers that are sitting in front of him on his desk. However, no matter how hard he tries, Aaron can’t focus on the words. His eyes slip over them without really taking them in, and he can feel his leg bouncing restlessly under the desk.

“AARON!” Thomas’s shout makes Aaron jump, and he turns to see his friend staring back at him with exasperation that's close to turning into annoyance. “If you don’t stop tapping your pen, I will murder you myself.”

Aaron looks down at his hand in surprise, and sure enough, his pen is tapping repeatedly over the wood, and he forces his fingers to still.

“Sorry.” He says, trying to turn his attention back on the papers. “I just feel fidgety today.”

“I’m sure you do.” Thomas says back, and the way he says the comment makes Aaron look back at him in confusion. Thomas sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. “Aaron, come on, we _all_ know why you’re being so weird today.”

“I’m not being w-“

“You came in with your shirt on backwards.”

“Shut up.” Aaron mumbles, picking at the hem of his shirt. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“And the reason for that _is_?”

“Why don’t you enlighten me, Thomas, since you seem to know the answer already.”

“It’s because Hamilton is leaving today.” Thomas says quickly, smirking when Aaron opens his mouth to argue, but then closes it in quiet resignation. “You’re moping.”

“I am not _moping_.” Aaron snaps, but his eyes flick to the clock on the opposite wall of their own accord, but Aaron rips them away just as fast. He is _not_ keeping track of the time to know when Alexander’s plane is leaving, either. Definitely not. “I’m fine.”

“Sure you are.” Thomas says dryly, his lips still curved into a smile. Then his smile drops a little, and he looks at Aaron thoughtfully. “You could just ask him not to go, you know.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Aaron responds firmly, fixing his eyes determinedly back on his desk. Even if he _could_ just ask Alexander not to go, it’s probably too late now. Aaron missed his chance. 

They had been meeting regularly over the past few weeks, and Aaron had found himself looking forward to each meeting more and more. He really hadn’t realized how much he had missed Alexander, and now that they were speaking again, Aaron didn’t want that to stop. They are finally starting to put the pieces back together, actually communicating and saying what they expect or want from the other, and Aaron can feel himself getting happier. But he’s worried that Alexander leaving for two months will make their progress stop, will make everything stop.

And he’s going to miss him.

“It is just two months, you know.” Thomas says quietly, like he’s reading Aaron’s thoughts. “Personally I wouldn’t mind two months without Hamilton, but then again, I’m not the one dating him.”

“I’m not, we’re not actually _dating_ again yet. We’re just-“

“Meeting regularly to spend time together and flirt?” Thomas interjects with a laugh, ducking when Aaron throws his pen at him but laughing even harder once he straightens. “Sounds like dating to me.”

Aaron flips Thomas off, which just makes the other man snort before going back to his work. Aaron drums his fingers on his desk as he thinks about what Thomas had just said. Dating. Him and Alexander hadn’t exactly talked about it, not officially at least, but Aaron can see how their recent meetings could be construed in that way. He breathes out heavily through his nose as he rolls the idea around in his head.

Is Aaron ready to date Alexander again? _Yes_ , he thinks to himself automatically, and the thought sends a shiver of excitement through his body. But then he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as he continues to think. He’s enjoyed spending time with Alexander again, more than enjoyed, if he’s being completely honest. He knows they’ve been working towards being together again, at some point, but is this the point where they should take that leap? Are they both ready?

Aaron sighs again, letting his eyes close. He thinks that he is ready; he _knows_ that it’s what he eventually wants. But what if Alexander isn’t ready to start dating him again yet? What if Aaron pushes him too fast? Or what if he doesn’t know that Aaron wants to start dating? What if that’s why he’s leaving? What if-

“Aaron…” Thomas’s voice pulls Aaron out of his thoughts again, and he looks up to see Thomas staring at where his fingers are still moving rapidly across the top of his desk. “Murder, I am considering _murder._ ”

Aaron rolls his eyes but moves his hand off the desk so it’s resting on his thigh, where he continues to drum his fingers quietly. His eyes move back over to the clock. 4:00.  

Four hours until Alexander leaves.

-

About a half an hour later, Aaron is sitting in Thomas’s car as the man drives him home. He nods absently as Thomas speaks, not really paying any attention to what he’s saying. His mind is still on Alexander, and he feels himself growing more and more restless as the time gets closer to when he’s supposed to leave for the vacation. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Thomas asks suddenly.

“Hm?” Aaron turns to his friend to see Thomas looking over at him briefly before turning back to the road and shaking his head in frustration.

“Aaron, if this is how you’re going to be for the next two months I’ll stop Hamilton from leaving myself.”

“I’m sorry.” Aaron says, passing a hand over his eyes. “Really, I am. I got distracted. What were you saying?”

“I was asking you if you were still going to come to the cake tasting appointment with me and James? It’s at 5:15 so I can drop you off at home real quick so you can change and then take us over.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Aaron nods and returns to looking out the window. “How is James doing?”

“Much better!” Thomas says, his voice turning warmer. “He should be good to go back to work in the next few weeks! And we have the new wedding date; it’ll be April twentieth.”

“Good.” Aaron murmurs, resting his head against the glass. “That sounds good.”

Thomas makes a small noise of agreement in the back of his throat, and then he falls silent, casting Aaron another exasperated look before putting his full attention back on the road. Aaron takes that as permission to let his thoughts go back to Alexander.

He thinks back to everything Alexander has said to him about the importance of waiting, about the importance of time in everything they’ve been working towards the past few weeks. Aaron knows Alexander is right, but he’s starting to wonder if that time would be better spent together, rather than apart. He doesn't want to be apart.

The car comes to a sudden stop, and Aaron blinks his eyes a few times, realizing that they’re back at his apartment. He unbuckles his seat belt and looks over at Thomas when he remains still.

“You go up, I’ll just wait for you here.” Thomas says, giving Aaron a weird smile, like he knows something that Aaron doesn't.

“You sure?” Aaron asks, raising an eyebrow. “You can come in if you want.”

“Oh, no. I’m sure.” Thomas waves a hand at him. “You go, I don’t want to intrude.”

Aaron gives Thomas another questioning look before climbing out of the car and making his way up to his room. He’s still thinking about what Thomas could have meant about not wanting to intrude when he opens his door and steps in. When he lifts his head to look into his apartment, he pauses.

At first glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary, but then Aaron notices that his couch has been moved to a different area of the room, over to another wall but that’s not what stops him in his tracks. The wall where his couch used to be isn’t empty. Instead, it is now taken up by something else entirely.

Sitting up against the wall where his couch used to be, is a piano.

Aaron blinks a few times, wondering if he’s hallucinating, but the piano remains where it is, and Aaron takes a few hesitant steps towards it, not even bothering to close the door behind him. He reaches out a hand; fingers trailing softly over the keys before he presses down on them experimentally, letting the noise fill the room for a moment. Aaron lets out a wordless laugh as he continues to move his fingers over the keys. Then his eyes move and he notices the envelope that's been placed on top of the piano.

He sees his name written on the front, and he recognizes the handwriting immediately. He reaches out to take it, his hand shaking slightly as he opens it and unfolds the letter inside. He takes a steadying breath before letting his eyes read the words that are written there. 

_Aaron,_

_I realize this gift is a few months late, but, well, I figured that it's better late than never._

_I think a lot about that night at the Christmas party, for many obvious reasons, but one of the more important ones is because I remember how happy you looked when I found you sitting at Thomas’s piano; you were smiling in a way I had never seen before, and I realized in that moment that I would do anything to see you smiling like that always._

_I know I didn’t do a very good job in that regard, and this gift isn’t my attempt of making it up to you, but it is a promise. A promise that from now on, if you will let me, I will never stop trying to make you happy. I know that I think about myself too much, that I push people away, but I don’t want to do that ever again, because pushing you away was the biggest mistake of my life._

_When I stood in the doorway and listened to you play that song, I realized that there were still so many things I didn’t know about you, still so many stories that you had tucked away inside of you, hidden from everyone else. I know I might not deserve it, Aaron, but I want to know everything about you; every story, every thought, every quirk, everything. Good and bad. I want all of you._

_You know me though, Aaron. You know that I’m stubborn, that I speak without thinking, that I’m hotheaded; you know I’m a handful. You know me better than anyone else ever has, and because of that, I think that you also know how much I care about you, how much I’m willing to fight for you, and how much I want you to be happy. I don't pretend to know what is best for you, but I know that I am more than willing to learn, and to grow, and to never stop trying._

_I’m not good at making room for other people in my life, I’m not good at taking the time to let them in, but you make me want to try so damn much. If you’ll let me, Aaron, I promise to make room, and to never let you go again._

_But I know you need time to think, to consider what you want. So I’m willing to wait. Just give me a chance, that's all I ask. That would be enough._

_Yours,_

_Alexander._

Aaron continues to look down at the note, rereading it several times, and his heart pounds more and more with each time he reads it. He stares particularly hard at the signature at the end, the "yours" that had been scribbled on the paper after another word had been hastily scratched out. _What was the word?_ Aaron wonders. _Love?_ That idea makes his heart flutter, and a warm feeling blooms in his chest. Alexander _wants_ him, wants to be with him. 

Aaron jumps when something wet suddenly drops down onto the paper, blurring some of the words. He brings his hand to his cheek, blinking rapidly when he realizes that he’s crying. The realization makes him laugh, and he wipes at his eyes as that feeling inside him grows more and more. It's that feeling that makes Aaron drop the letter down onto the piano before turning back to the door in determination.

He can’t let Alexander leave.

Aaron takes the stairs back down to the main level, skipping the last couple with a small leap as his mind whirls. Alexander thinks he needs time to decide, but he doesn’t, he doesn’t need another day, another minute, not even another _second_. Aaron knows what he wants, and he needs to go and get it.

Aaron reaches Thomas’s car and wrenches the passenger door open, breathing heavily as Thomas looks up at him with a grin.

“I’m guessing you got the present?” He asks with a laugh when Aaron looks at him. “Tell Hamilton he owes me for helping him get into the-“

“I need to go to the airport.” Aaron says in a rush, cutting Thomas off. “You need to take me right now!”

“But I have the appointment with James to go to, I can’t-“

“Then I’ll drive!” Aaron tells him, ignoring the shock that flits across Thomas’s face. “You drive to the appointment, and then I’ll drive myself to the airport.”

“Aaron.” Thomas says his name slowly, and Aaron already knows what he’s thinking, but he doesn't want to hear it. “You…are you sure? You’re worked up right now, I don’t know if you should.”

“I’m fine, Thomas.” Aaron slides into the seat and closes the door. He takes a deep breath and looks over at Thomas. “I’m fine. I have to go to the airport, I have to go see him.”

“Call him first.” Thomas instructs after a moment of silence, and then he starts the car. “Figure out if you still have time to go see him before you decide to do this.”

Aaron nods and pulls out his phone, dialing Alexander’s number and waiting with bated breath as the phone rings and rings. He breathes out a sigh of relief when Alexander answers.

“Aaron, hey, what’s up?”

“Have you gone through security yet?” Aaron asks immediately, praying that the answer is no.

“We just got to the airport.” Alexander’s voice says, and Aaron feels himself smile. “We were about to check our bags and then-“

“Wait, don’t do that!” Aaron knows he must sound crazy, but at this point he doesn’t care. “I’m coming down there to see you, please wait for me to get there. What terminal are you in?”

“I…terminal two, but Aaron…what-“

“Just wait for me.” Aaron repeats, and then he hangs up before Alexander can say anything else. He can feel Thomas stealing glances at him as he drives, but Aaron doesn’t look over. He just focuses on breathing deeply, and slowing down his heart.

Thomas pulls up to the cake shop he’s meeting James at, and when the car slows to a stop, Aaron finally lets his eyes travel over to meet Thomas’s.

“Are you sure?” Thomas asks him again, his gaze steady. When Aaron nods, Thomas takes the keys from the ignition and hands them to Aaron. He sighs and then looks at Aaron with a frown. “Since you’re bailing on the cake tasting, you don’t get to complain if I pick a flavor you don’t like.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” Aaron tells him with a smile, and Thomas gives him a small nod before climbing out of the car. Aaron unbuckles his seat belt and quickly climbs over into the drivers seat. He starts the car up again, taking one more deep breath before stepping down on the pedal.

The drive to the airport actually helps calm Aaron down. He focuses on the road, on the feeling of the steering wheel under his hands. He has one goal in his mind, to see Alexander, to tell him that everything he'd written in that letter is how Aaron feels for him. They'd both made mistakes, and Aaron knows that they'll both probably make more, but he wants to be with Alexander anyway. He wants to fight for him too.

He parks the car as quickly as he can before making his way over to terminal two. Aaron can feel his heart starting to pound again, and he starts to walk a little quicker. He needs to see Alexander. He needs to see him right now. When he steps inside the airport, he looks around, searching for Alexander's face through the crowds of people.

“Aaron!”

The voice makes Aaron jump, and he turns and sees Alexander standing across the room, a suitcase next to him and Mulligan and Eliza close behind him. He gives Aaron a small wave, and before Aaron can even think, he’s breaking out into a jog to close the distance between him them.

Even from where he is, Aaron can see the way that Alexander’s eyes are widening as he gets closer. He only has a brief moment to register the shock in them before he is lifting his hands to cup Alexander’s face, and then Aaron is closing his eyes as he brings their lips together.

He can feel Alexander tense up under his hands, probably trying to take in what is happening, but then he lets out a soft noise from the back of his throat, and the next thing Aaron feels is Alexander’s hands reaching out to clutch at the front of his shirt, pulling him in even closer as they continue to kiss.

Aaron tells himself to slow down, but his body seems to have other ideas, because one of his hands moves to the back of Alexander’s neck, and he angles his head to deepen the kiss, marveling in how good it all feels. He shudders when Alexander finally opens his mouth against his, tongue swiping over his lip, drawing out a sharp gasp.

Aaron pulls back a fraction of an inch, meaning to say something, but Alexander follows and captures his lips again automatically, which makes Aaron smile, more than willing to continue the kiss. He had forgotten how well they move together, how warm Alexander always feels against him.

He tugs gently on Alexander’s hair, and the soft moan coming moments after causes a spark to run down Aaron’s spine. He runs his tongue against Alexander’s, hoping to get a repeat of the noise, and is not disappointed. Alexander presses himself even closer to Aaron, hands trailing down to wrap around his waist.

After a few more moments of their lips moving tirelessly against each other, Aaron feels something wet under his fingers and slowly registers that Alexander is crying. He moves both hands back to Alexander’s cheeks and brushes his thumbs over them gently, catching the tears and letting the heated kiss grow softer.

They only break apart once someone clears their throat loudly, and Aaron peers over Alexander’s shoulder to see Mulligan and Eliza watching them, Mulligan looking uncomfortable while Eliza smiles brightly.

Aaron moves his eyes back to Alexander, who still has tears flowing down his cheeks as he looks at Aaron, an expression of surprise mixed with something else on his face. Aaron brushes the tears away again, letting his forehead rest against Alexander’s as they both catch their breath.

“That bad, huh?” He murmurs, and Alexander laughs quietly as a small hiccup escapes him. Then he shakes his head before taking a shuddery breath.

“No.” He murmurs back, blinking a few times before focusing on Aaron. “Perfect, that was perfect.”

Aaron chuckles and pulls Alexander back against him, his arms draped firmly around the other man’s shoulders as Alexander tucks his head into Aaron’s neck. They stand together in silence, and Aaron waits for his heart to slow down and for his mind to catch up. He takes inventory in his head of what’s happened in the past few minutes;

He kissed Alexander. Alexander kissed him back. He’s holding Alexander. Alexander is holding him. He’s happy. He’s _happy_ …

“I’m guessing you got my present?” Alexander says a few moments later, his voice muffled slightly due to the fact that his face is pressed against Aaron’s neck.

Aaron moves his hands to Alexander’s shoulders so he can push him back and look down at him. He lets his hands trace over Alexander’s cheekbones, his jaw, his lips. It feels so good to touch him again. He takes his time before answering, but Alexander doesn’t seem to mind.

“I did.” Aaron murmurs with a nod. “And your letter.” He smiles as Alexander blushes and ducks his head, but Aaron puts a hand under his chin to tilt his face back up. “It was a very nice letter.”

“I didn’t think you’d come all the way over here after reading it.” Alexander says, his face growing more and more red, making Aaron smile wider.

“You shouldn’t have written such a nice letter then.” Aaron leans back in, brushing his lips briefly to Alexander’s before pulling back again. He studies Alexander’s face for a moment, and then takes a deep breath. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You…huh?”

“I don’t want you to go.” Aaron repeats, noting the way Alexander’s whole face seems to light up at the words. But then Alexander looks at him more closely, gauging how serious he is.

“But…time.” He says slowly. “I thought…don’t you need time?”

“No.” Aaron responds automatically, and he brushes his thumbs over Alexander’s lips when he parts them to argue. “Do you trust me?” Alexander gives a small nod. “Then trust me to know when I’m ready for something. But…if you want to go, then-“

“No!” Alexander’s response is also immediate, and he flushes again before giving Aaron a crooked smile. “I…I don’t want to go. I want to…to stay. With you.”

"Then it's settled." Aaron whispers, pressing his lips to Alexander's one more time before stepping back entirely. He takes Alexander's suitcase in his hand before looking up at Mulligan and Eliza, who are still watching them. "I hope you don't mind me stealing Alexander from you."

"Not at all." Eliza assures him, smiling even more. She steps forward to press a quick kiss to both of their cheeks before turning back to Mulligan, who gives them both a nod, and Aaron even thinks he sees him throw a small wink in Alexander's direction.

Aaron takes Alexander's hand in his, smiling when Alexander looks up at him in surprise at the gesture. They walk out of the airport in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts of everything that had just occurred between them. Aaron knows that he should probably say something to Alexander, but he keeps getting distracted by the feeling of his hand in his, and the way that Alexander's hair occasionally brushes against his skin.

"I..." Aaron finally manages to get a word out as they reach Thomas's car, and he turns to look at Alexander again. "I can pay you back for the ticket you bought, since it's my fault that you aren't going anymore."

"No." Alexander shakes his head firmly at the words. "That's not...you don't need to do that. This is..." He looks down at their hands and brushes his thumb over the back of Aaron's hand. "This is better."

Aaron smiles at him and nods, watching as Alexander looks up from their entwined hands and focuses on the car in front of them. He looks around in slight confusion, and then his eyes land on Aaron again.

"Who drove you?"

“I drove myself.” Aaron says softly, and he lets go of Alexander's hand so he can move to open the passenger door. But before he can get his hand on the door handle, there are fingers curling around his elbow, stopping him.

He turns back to see Alexander staring up at him, and then his hand is moving up to Aaron’s shoulder, then to his face, and then Alexander’s fingers flutter over his skin before finally moving to cup the back of his neck. Then, he’s pulling Aaron back down into another kiss.

Aaron hums at the contact, his own hands moving down to grip at Alexander’s hips, which causes Alexander to moan. Suddenly, he’s crowding Aaron against the car, pressing kisses to his jaw before attaching his lips to Aaron’s neck. Aaron groans, and his hands tighten involuntarily where they’re still gripping Alexander. He gasps when he feels teeth on his skin, and then he pulls Alexander even closer against him. 

Their hands continue grip tightly at each other as Alexander's lips keep moving down his neck, and Aaron's feels like he's floating. His mind is full of nothing except Alexander, Alexander, Alexander... 

Finally, they pull away from each other, and Alexander looks up at Aaron with dark eyes. The next second, a mischievous smirk is lighting up his face, and he leans forward so his lips are hovering over Aaron’s ear.

“How mad do you think Jefferson would be if we had make-up sex in his backseat?”

-

When they get back to his apartment later that night, Alexander walks straight over to the piano, his hands running gently over the keys. He looks back Aaron with a small smile as he approaches.

“I didn’t think it would take up so much room, I’m sorry if-“

“Alexander.” Aaron wraps his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. “It’s fine, I love it here.” He presses a kiss to Alexander’s neck, letting his lips linger there for a moment. "Look at me."

Alexander turns around fully so he’s facing him, and Aaron can see the nerves that are there, etched into every line of Alexander's face. That feeling from before, from when Aaron had read the letter, is building in his chest again, overwhelming him. He moves one of his hands up to Alexander's neck, tracing the area that his lips had just been, and he feels Alexander shiver slightly. 

"Alexander." Aaron whispers, and he moves forward to press a kiss to his forehead, then his eyelids, then his cheeks, placing the last one on his lips softly before pulling back and cupping Alexander's face with his hands. He waits as Alexander slowly looks up at him, watching him with dark eyes that are filled with so many emotions. "Alexander..." Aaron whispers again, feeling his own eyes start to burn around the edges. "I love you."

Alexander lets out a small noise, something close to a gasp, but then he's moving forward, kissing Aaron so sweetly that Aaron finally lets the tears fall, unable to hold them back any longer.

"I love you too." Alexander whispers against his lips, his voice shaking slightly. "So much, Aaron. I love you so much."

Aaron lets Alexander press one more gentle kiss to his lips before pulling back. He sees the tears starting to build in Alexander’s eyes again, and he thinks back to what Alexander had said about how he always seems to cry when they're together.

Aaron smiles as he takes Alexander's hands in his, leading him into the bedroom where he then begins to unbutton Alexander’s shirt. He slips it from the other man’s shoulders when he's done before pulling off his own. He feels Alexander’s eyes on him, can feel the heat that is rolling off of him.

They both strip until they are in nothing but their boxers, and then, at the same time, they are climbing onto the bed, and Alexander’s hands are quick to slide down Aaron’s chest, his fingers tracing small patterns there that make goosebumps rise on Aaron’s skin.

Aaron rolls onto his side so he can move his hands over Alexander as well, mapping out the places that make Alexander hum happily; it had been so long since had felt him under his hands, since he had pulled such beautiful noises from him. He ghosts his fingers across Alexander’s collarbone, causing him to inhale sharply.

“Aaron.” He whispers, catching Aaron's hand and moving it so it’s cupping his face. Alexander moves his own hand so his fingers brush over Aaron’s lips. “Kiss me again, please.”

Aaron smiles, and he presses small kisses to Alexander’s fingertips before nudging the other man so he’s lying flat on his back. Then he pushes himself up so he’s hovering over Alexander, bending down to slot their mouths together again.

Alexander’s hands are warm on his back, his nails digging into the skin harder and harder with each movement of their lips. Aaron lets out a quiet moan at the sensation, and he lets his tongue run over Alexander’s lower lip, probing his mouth open until their tongues are sliding against each other in the best way possible.

Aaron tilts his head, kissing Alexander at a different angle and allowing the feeling to wash over him. Aaron savors every press of Alexander’s lips against his, every soft noise that escapes Alexander’s lips, swallowing each one. He lets the kiss become less frantic, lets it slow down, becoming unhurried, unrushed.

They have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT IN THOMAS'S CAR!!!! (Did they actually do it in there? The answer will die with me)
> 
> ANYWAY I hope you guys liked this chapter cause it made me cry a little. ALSO are those some jeffmads wedding bells I hear coming in the next chapter? Maybe ;)
> 
> Only two more to go you guys, I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far. Kudos/comments are always appreciated and loved. Follow me on tumblr @ fanciful-follies if you want to!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new day, a new chapter! The second to last one :( There's vague hinting at smut in the middle, and then more explicit smut towards the end, so heads up if that makes you uncomfortable.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one x

“So, how do I look?”

Alex jumps slightly at the voice and spins around to see Aaron walking towards him, one of his hands smoothing down the lapels of his suit.

“Hmm.” Alex smiles and extends one of his own hands once Aaron reaches him. He picks at the bright fabric before shaking his head with a laugh. “Well, it’s not my taste, but you certainly look very…uh…vibrant.”

“Wait till you see Thomas.” Aaron responds with a laugh of his own. “He looks even more vibrant than I do.”

Alex chuckles, not even able to imagine what Thomas has chosen to wear to his wedding. Alex steps closer so he can press his lips to Aaron’s, causing the other man to hum and grip him tightly for a moment before taking a step back. He runs a hand over Alex’s cheek and smiles.

“You look nice.” He says, his smile growing wider. “Very _Ham-some_.”

Alex snorts and swats at Aaron’s arm, but Aaron grabs his hand and pulls him forward so that they’re kissing again. Alex smiles against his lips and breathes out slowly through his nose. He loves kissing Aaron. They only break apart when someone calls Aaron’s name, and they turn to see someone waving for him to come towards them.

“My best man duties are calling.” Aaron says, letting his hand drop and taking another step back. “I’ll see you after the ceremony.”

Alex nods, watching as Aaron walks up the aisle to stand under the trellis that had been set up at the front, flowers growing over and around it. He moves to take his seat at one of the many chairs that had been set up on the lawn, nodding at some of the people he knows who are already sitting down. He smiles at Lafayette when he throws Alex a small wink.

Then he turns his attention back to Aaron, a smile forming on his face as he sees that Aaron is already looking back at him.

They’ve been back together for almost a whole year now. They had started things off slow, still taking their time to fix the pieces of their relationship that had broken apart. Alex had remained living with John and Herc for the first few months of his and Aaron’s reconciliation, but then had pounced on the opportunity to move back in with Aaron as soon as the man offered.

Things aren’t always perfect between them, but they try, they communicate, and that alone has made their relationship stronger than it was before. Things are better between them, and Alex feels relaxed in the relationship that they've worked to rebuild. He feels at home with Aaron, and knows that Aaron feels the same way.

They’re happy.

Alex is pulled from his thoughts as a murmur goes through the crowd. He turns around to see Thomas walking to the front, and Alex rolls his eyes as the man waves and winks at everyone, even blowing kisses at a few of them. _Aaron really wasn’t kidding_ , Alex thinks to himself as he continues to watch. Thomas is _very_ vibrant, dressed in a flowery purple suit that he, of course, somehow manages to look great in.

Thomas reaches Aaron, pulling him into a hug and whispering something in his ear. Aaron gives him what Alex thinks is a reassuring pat on the back, and then Thomas pulls away, taking a deep breath as he looks around the area a second time. When his eyes connect with Alex’s for a brief moment, he’s surprised to see that the man actually looks nervous. But then again, a lot of things pertaining to Thomas have surprised Alex lately.

Spending more time with Aaron has inevitably meant spending more time with Thomas, and while Alex might not ever admit it, he has come to realize that Thomas isn’t actually as bad as he had originally thought. He can actually be really nice when he wants to. Although, the man _did_ schedule his wedding to be on April twentieth, so maybe he _is_ as bad as Alex used to think.

The live orchestra that Thomas hired begins to play softly, and Alex turns again to see James standing at the end of the aisle. Alex moves to his feet with the rest of the crowd as James begins to walk up towards Thomas, a wide smile already on his face.

Alex peeks over his shoulder at Thomas and sees him take a deep breath before turning around as well, his face immediately lighting up when he sees James. Then, apparently too eager to wait, Thomas takes long strides over to where James is still walking and pulls him into a kiss, causing everyone to clap and whistle.

They break apart wearing matching smiles, and Thomas takes James’s hand to lead him the rest of the way up. Once they reach the front, Thomas continues to hold James’s hand as the officiant begins to speak, addressing the crowd and then turning back to the couple, asking them to recite their vows.

“First of all,” Thomas starts in a loud voice, “I want to thank everyone for attending our wedding on the date of April twentieth. Again, that date is-“

“Thomas.” James interrupts quietly, sounding exasperated, but there’s a small smile on is face, and Alex can't help but think how lucky Thomas was to find someone like James. Someone who puts up with his ridiculousness. 

“Right, sorry.” Thomas winks at James, but then takes a deep breath, his voice growing a little quieter as he continues. “James, I first met you in college. You asked me for directions to a class, and I told you to just follow me, that I would lead you there cause it was the same class I was going to. But that was a lie; I was going to political science, and you were looking for English. That probably made a bad first impression, but I just didn’t want to let you out of my sight.”

A collective “aw” goes through the crowd, and Alex wants to roll his eyes, but he sees how earnest Thomas looks, and the way his hand is shaking in James’s.

“And then,” Thomas continues, “you followed me, and sat through the entire class despite knowing that it obviously wasn’t the one you were looking for. Afterwards, I told you that I accidentally brought you to the wrong class, and then you asked for my number before asking me out to dinner. I went to the restaurant and waited for you for a whole hour, and then you texted me, apologizing and saying that you must have accidentally told me the wrong restaurant. I think I knew then and there that you were going to be my husband one day.”

Alex, despite his attempt to stay strong, feels a lump rising in his throat. He swallows around it and lets his eyes go to Aaron, who suddenly raises a hand and brushes it over the front of his suit jacket. His eyes find Alex, and Alex feels his heart start to flutter. God, he's so in love. 

Alex tries to listen to what James is saying to Thomas, but he finds that he can’t look away from Aaron, and he starts to smile as Aaron’s eyes flick between him and James as he apparently tries to decide who to pay attention to. His hand keeps going to the front of his suit, as if checking for something. Alex wonders what it could be, but then he moves his eyes back to Thomas and James, both of who are now silent since the officiant had started to speak. Alex refocuses his attention just in time to hear the ending.

“Congratulations. You may now kiss your groom.”

-

The wedding reception is held in a ballroom a few miles away, and it’s one so grand in size that Alex mumbles darkly under his breath as he looks up at it, but Aaron just laughs at him and pulls him into the building.

For dinner, they’re seated at a table along with Herc and Eliza, Lafayette and Peggy, and Angelica and Maria. The conversation flows easily between them all. Aaron is chuckling at something Angelica and Maria are saying, and Alex watches them as a sense of peace washes over him. Alex has always loved weddings, but this it the first one he's gotten to share with so many people he cares about.

After everyone has finished eating, they all turn their attention to James, who announces that he has a surprise for Thomas, and he points for everyone to look at a screen that is being lowered. Then, a slideshow begins to play, showing pictures and videos of Thomas and James together as music plays in the background. Even from his seat, Alex can see Thomas tearing up.

He jumps slightly when Aaron’s hand reaches out to take his on top of the table, and then Alex smiles, leaning down so that his head is on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Once the video ends, Thomas and James stand, another song starting to play as they walk towards the middle of the dance floor. Alex picks his head up so he can watch, a smirk forming on his face as he waits. Thomas and James have barely begun to dance when the song changes again, and the sound of “Never Gonna Give You Up” starts to echo around the room, quickly followed by laughs from everyone in the room.

“HAMILTON!” Thomas turns to glare at him, and his only response to is snicker as Aaron rolls his eyes next to him. “I let you handle the music, let you handle _one thing_ for my wedding, and you HAVE to go and mess it up!”

Alex holds his hands up in surrender but continues to snicker, signaling to the DJ to go back to the original song. He had slipped the guy five dollars before the reception started to change the song in the middle of their first dance.

“You’re a menace.” Aaron says in a low voice, looking at Alex with an amused light in his eyes. But when Thomas and James call for everyone else to join them on the dance floor, Aaron stands and extends a hand to Alex, which he gladly takes.

Moments later, Aaron’s hand is warm on Alex’s back as his other is entwined in Alex’s own. They move slowly, and Alex tucks his head against Aaron’s neck. He looks over Aaron’s shoulder to see Maria and Angelica dancing slowly together as well, and he lets his eyes close as a smile spreads across his face. He feels so happy.

“Remember the first time we danced together?” Aaron whispers, and Alex hums his affirmative. “Did you notice the decorations in this room?”

Alex lifts his head again to look around, taking in the fairy lights that are hung up around the room. With his heart beating a little faster in his chest, he looks back at Aaron, who is smiling down at him.

“I couldn’t convince Thomas to do Christmas colors,” he continues with a shrug, “but…”

“You put these up, for me?” Alex asks slowly, and Aaron gives a small nod.

“Thomas was nice enough to let me, although I’m sure he’s already regretting that after your music choices.”

Alex laughs and hangs his head, feeling Aaron’s shoulders shake as he laughs as well. Alex is about to say something more, but then the music changes, becoming more upbeat. He looks back over at Aaron.

“Still want to dance with me?” He presses closer, letting his hips brush against Aaron’s, the other man’s eyes growing darker at the movement.

“Hmm.” Aaron leans in, letting his lips rest over Alex’s ear. “Do you deserve it? I don't know if you do. Why don’t you convince me it’s worth it.” He pulls back with a smirk and walks off the dance floor, sitting back down and staring at Alex from his seat.

Alex smirks back at him. He's never one to back down from a challenge. He lets his gaze roam across the crowds of people dancing, his eyes finally landing on Lafayette. He waves his friend over quickly.

“I need you to help me convince my boyfriend to dance with me.” He shouts over the music, and he sees Laf look over his shoulder to find Aaron, his lips curving into a smile.

“It would be my pleasure.” He shouts back, pulling Alex close to him. They move together to the beat, Laf’s hands gripping his hips as he rolls them. Alex turns so that his back is against Laf’s chest, and he pushes back against him, making him laugh.

“Alex.” He chides in his ear, and Alex can hear the smile in his voice. “I am a taken man.” He laughs again, but Alex keeps moving, his eyes locked on Aaron’s, who is watching him with an intense focus that makes Alex’s face grow warm and his pulse quicken.

He turns back around to face Laf, who is shaking his head at him in amusement. They move against each other for a few more minutes, and when Alex turns back around to look at Aaron, he’s disappointed to see that he’s no longer at his seat.

He scans the crowd for him, but then Laf’s hands are leaving his hips, and another pair takes their place. Alex gasps when the familiar, strong hands pull him back, and then he moans when he feels the press of an erection against him.

“Did I convince you?” He breathes out with a smile, tilting his head back so the back of it is resting against Aaron’s shoulder. He exhales slowly when Aaron presses his lips to his neck, pulling Alex further against him and rolling his hips slightly.

“What do you think?” Aaron murmurs back, nipping gently at his skin.

They continue to dance together until Alex feels like his skin is on fire, and then he can't take it anymore. He spins around to take Aaron’s hand, tugging him off of the dance floor in a rush. He doesn’t have a plan, doesn’t know exactly where he’s going, but eventually he finds a door and pulls it open to reveal a small closet, dragging Aaron inside with him.

He wastes no time in pressing Aaron against the door, kissing him frantically and shivering when Aaron lets out a small moan. Alex lets his hands trail up is chest, moving to remove his suit jacket, but then Aaron’s hands fly up to his, his fingers wrapping around his wrist to stop him.

“What?” Alex pulls back, breathing heavily. “You…don’t you want to?” His eyes roam over Aaron’s face as he chuckles softly.

“We’re at a wedding, Alexander. Having sex is a closet while my best friend gets married isn’t exactly on my bucket list.”

“Well it’s on mine.” Alex whispers with a pout, moving to kiss Aaron again, but he stops him again. Alex is about to argue, but then Aaron spins them so Alex is the one against the door, and then he drops to his knees, making Alex lose his breath all over again.

“You’re always so impatient.” Aaron whispers, his hands going to Alex’s belt and undoing it with quick fingers. “Can’t even go a few hours without getting some.”

“It’s not my fault you drive me crazy.” Alex says, breath hitching as Aaron pulls his pants and boxers down to mid thigh. “You just…you’re so-“ He cuts off and bites his lips, watching as Aaron starts to ghost his breath over his erection, still not touching him.

He chuckles when a small whimper escapes Alex, and then he finally leans in closer, mouth closing around Alex’s cock.

They emerge minutes later, Alex doing his best to appear normal, but his legs wobble a little as he walks, and Aaron smirks at him. Then, to make things even worse, they turn a corner and run right into Thomas and James, and both of them give Alex a knowing look.

“Should’ve known you two would be up to no good.” Thomas says with a dramatic sigh. “Hamilton just can’t keep it in his pants.”

“Shut up, Jefferson.” Alex mumbles, his face growing warm as the other three laugh. Thomas starts to walk away with James, but he turns back to smile at Alex again.

“Now, we do have a piano here, but I won’t tell you where, cause I know that you and Aaron just can’t keep your hands off each other when there’s a piano around.”

“A piano isn’t the only place.” Alex shoots back, feeling a smirk spread across his face as Thomas looks at him in confusion. He's waited so long to say this. “The backseat of your car also got me and Aaron all hot and bothered.”

There’s a beat of silence as Thomas’s looks at him with widening eyes, and then he lets out a loud shriek. He moves towards Alex, but James reaches out a hand to stop him.

“IN MY CAR?” Thomas shouts, and Alex thinks he hears Aaron choke back a laugh. “WHEN? MY GOD HAMILTON. WHY WOULD YOU-“ He keeps shouting, voice turning incomprehensible as it echoes off the walls and Alex has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from completely losing it. Eventually Thomas seems to shout himself out, because he stops and breathes heavily as he glares daggers at Alex.

“Right, well…” James takes Thomas’s hand and clears his throat, and Alex thinks that he even sees the beginnings of a smile on his face. “We have a wedding reception to return to, so…”

Before they get too far, Aaron jogs over to Thomas, whispering something in his ear. Alex watches from afar as Thomas throws Alex another glare, but then he’s reaching into his pocket and handing Aaron something. Then Aaron walks back over to Alex and ignores his confused look.

“You ready to go?” He asks once he reaches him.

“You want to go now? Isn’t it a little soon? They haven’t cut the cake yet.”

“I told Thomas we’d be ducking out early.” Aaron answers with a shrug. “Besides, I have a surprise for you.”

“Well that’s all you have to say to convince me to leave.” Alex says, winking at Aaron and letting him lead him across the dance floor and out of the reception hall. They climb into the car and Aaron turns it on before looking over at Alex.

“You have to close your eyes.” Aaron tells him, and Alex narrows his eyes at him.

“The entire time you drive?” Alex asks suspiciously. “That sounds creepy, you know that, right?”

“It’s a surprise Alex, you aren’t allowed to know where we’re going.”

“That’s something a murderer would say.”

“Oh my god.” Aaron mumbles under his breath, and Alex snickers before giving him one last wink and finally closing his eyes.

They drive in silence for a while, and Alex only peeks twice, but he still can’t get a sense of where they’re going. He tries getting Aaron to break and tell him, but the man remains frustratingly silent, so Alex huffs out an impatient breath before slumping down in his seat. He’s not sure how long they drive, but eventually he feels the car slow down to a stop.

Alex sits up straight and is about to open his eyes when suddenly Aaron’s hand is covering them.

“Not fair!” Alex says, trying to twist away so he can see where they are, but Aaron just laughs.

“Just a little longer, okay? Keep them close! Promise?” Aaron removes his hand once Alex grunts out his consent, and then he’s climbing out of the car and opening Alex’s door a moment later. “Alright, come on, give me your hand.”

“Such a gentleman.” Alex jokes as Aaron pulls him out of the car. He sighs but keeps his eyes closed as Aaron slowly leads him wherever their destination is. He thinks he hears Aaron unlocking a door, but he still has no idea where he could possible be taking him.

“Take a step up.” Aaron instructs, and Alex lifts his feet to comply, and then Aaron puts a hand on his back to continue guiding him through wherever they are.

“I swear, if you’re going to murder me I will never forgive you.”

“Noted.” Aaron says, and Alex can hear the smile in his voice. Finally they stop, and Aaron’s hand leaves his back. “Okay, now just stand there with your eyes closed for like ten more seconds, alright? You’ll know when to open them.”

Alex is about to open his mouth and say that this is all still very creepy, but then a noise starts filling the air, and Alex cracks his eyes open to see what’s happening.

The first thing that registers in his mind is that they’re in Thomas’s house, but then he sees that Aaron is seated at a piano, fingers moving easily over the keys. But the thing that shocks Alex the most is that it’s a song that he’s never heard Aaron play before. Even after buying the piano for him, Aaron has been hesitant to learn other songs, claiming that he doesn't have the time or the talent. But the music he's playing now is proving all of that wrong.

Alex lets the music wash over him as he looks around the room, smiling when he sees the Christmas lights that are set up on every wall, and the candles that are placed on the tables. What is all this for? He turns his attention back to Aaron, and feels slightly embarrassed when he feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

Aaron continues to play, completely focused on the movement of his fingers, and Alex thinks that he could spend the rest of his life watching Aaron play the piano, he always looks so at home when he does. Finally, after what could be any amount of time, Aaron’s fingers still, and he turns to look over at Alex, blinking slowly up at him.

“That was beautiful.” Alex says quietly, not wanting to speak to loud and ruin the peace that Aaron had created.

“It’s Chopin.” Aaron responds just as quietly. “I learned it because it reminded of you.”

“That..." Alex breaks off as he feels his voice break, still a little embarrassed at how touched he is by all of this, even if he doesn't understand why Aaron is doing it. "This is really nice.” Alex finally says softly, but then he lets out a small laugh, looking around the room again. “But remind me why we’re in Thomas’s house? I mean, we have a piano at home.” He watches as Aaron smiles at him and stands up from the piano bench, stepping forward to take Alex’s hand.

“We’re here,” he starts, “because this is the place where I first fell in love with you.”

“You wh-“ Alex breaks off when Aaron makes another movement that catches him off guard. He watches with wide eyes as Aaron sinks down onto one knee, wondering for a brief moment if he’s hallucinating. He blinks a few times, but Aaron remains where he is.

“Alexander.” Aaron says, and Alex thinks that his name has never sounded more beautiful than it does right at this moment as Aaron says it. “I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve seen you at your worst, and at your best, and at everything in between.”

Alex lets out a watery laugh at that, and Aaron smiles up at him and gives his hand a small squeeze. _Keep it together, Hamilton_ , Alex thinks to himself, swallowing around the lump that is rising in his throat once again.

“Throughout every up and down we’ve experienced,” Aaron continues, “I have never stopped loving you, and I’m starting to think that I'll never stop.” Aaron pauses and laughs before shaking his head and looking at Alex more seriously. “Thomas said during his vows that he knew he was going to marry James the first time he saw him. While I may not have known how much you would grow to mean to me the first time I saw you standing outside in the hallway, each time you knocked on my door asking for something, I felt myself falling for you a little more.”

“Then my evil plan worked.” Alex whispers through his tears, and Aaron chuckles. “I never actually needed half the things I asked you for, you know. I just wanted an excuse to see my smoking hot neighbor.”

Instead of responding, Aaron reaches into the pocket that's inside the front of his suit jacket, pulling out a small black box. Alex breathes in deeply through his nose, trying to remain calm, but he feels a tear slip down his cheek anyway.

“Alexander…” Aaron takes a deep breath of his own, and Alex thinks he can feel his hand shaking in his as he flips the box open. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Alex responds immediately, his heart threatening to burst from his chest. He starts to laugh when Aaron exhales slowly with a shaky smile. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

Aaron slips the ring onto Alex’s finger before standing up, and Alex practically throws himself at him, capturing his mouth with his. Aaron’s hands come up to cup Alex’s face, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he kisses him deeply.

They stay like that for a while, wrapped around each other, and Alex doesn’t think he’s ever felt so happy. Aaron’s hands are cool on his skin, his lips soft against his own, and the weight of the ring on his finger fills him with a wonderful feeling of warmth. Eventually, however, he pulls away and rests his forehead against Aaron’s.

“This is...all of this is so perfect” He murmurs, pressing a small kiss to Aaron’s cheek. “And I love it so much, but I’d also love it if you took me home so I can thank you properly.”

“Yeah?” Aaron asks with a smirk, brushing his lips teasingly over Alex’s. “You want me to take you home?”

“Mhm.” Alex pushes up against Aaron and moves his mouth so that it’s hovering over his ear. “I want my fiancé to take me home.” He smiles when he feels Aaron’s hand tighten where they are still cupping his face, and then he laughs outright when Aaron steps away and pulls him towards the front door.

When they get back to their apartment, however, there is another surprise waiting for Alex.

There are more lights waiting for him as he steps into the living room, and then his eyes land on the kitchen table, which has a box of hot pockets and two bottles of champagne resting on it. Alex turns to Aaron, who is watching him with another smile.

“Did you actually go out and by hot pockets just for this occasion?” Alex asks as he walks over to Aaron, to his _fiancé_ , and wraps his arms around his shoulders as they both laugh. “This really is the perfect night now.”

“I’m glad you approve.” Aaron says with a small hum as he wraps his arm around Alex’s waist. “And I’m glad you said yes.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” Alex asks, and he lets his hands drop to the front of Aaron’s chest. “Is this why you didn’t want me to take this off of you before?” Alex whispers, picking at the material of Aaron’s suit jacket. “Cause of the ring?”

“Mhm.” Aaron murmurs back, brushing his lips over Alex’s again. “Couldn’t let you ruin the surprise. But…”

“But what?”

“Well, I mean…” Aaron looks at him and smiles. “If you wanted to take it off now, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed.”

“Really?” Alex says, smiling and starting to unbutton the jacket with quick fingers. “What about the hot pockets, hm? Shouldn’t we celebrate with a feast?” But he continues to remove Aaron’s jacket, slipping it off of his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor.

“It’s not like they’ll get cold.” Aaron says back, and then his lips are on Alex’s, and his hands are on his chest, pushing him back until they’re in the bedroom.

Some time later, Aaron is removing his fingers slowly from inside Alex, kissing his chest before moving to lie on his back. He pulls Alex onto him so he’s sitting on his thighs, and Alex feels want bubbling under his skin. He watches with wide eyes as Aaron rolls the condom down onto himself, and Alex fumbles for the lube, spreading some onto his hand before grabbing Aaron’s cock and slicking him up.

“You ready?” Aaron murmurs, hands going to Alex’s hips as he scoots forward, grinding down onto Aaron’s cock, making the man moan.

“Yes, god, y-yes.” Alex’s breath hitches on the last word as he situates himself on top of Aaron, sinking down onto him slowly until he’s fully seated. He rolls his hips down, letting his head tip back and his eyes close as he focuses on his movements. But then Aaron’s hands are on his face, tilting his head back down, and Alex opens his eyes to stare down at the man beneath him.

“I love you.” Alex breathes out, hands sliding up Aaron’s chest to pass over his nipples, smiling when Aaron inhales sharply. He raises himself up slightly before letting his hips slam back down onto Aaron’s, making them both moan.

“I love you, too.” Aaron says, moving his hands slowly down to Alex’s shoulders, then his sides, until they are resting on his hips again, helping him rise and fall onto him. “God, you always feel so-“ Aaron cuts off as another moan leaves him, and Alex feels his skin starting to heat up until it feels like it's burning.

He starts to move faster, desperate to find his release and give Aaron his. He feels Aaron shift slightly underneath him, bending his knees and planting his feet firmly onto the mattress. Alex gasps when Aaron moves his hips to meet his own thrust for thrust.

“Is this okay?” Aaron asks, and Alex can’t help the small laugh that escapes him. He nods frantically, and then in the next moment, he cries out as Aaron starts to snap his hips up, driving his cock deeper inside of him.

“Oh…god.” Alex digs his nails into Aaron’s chest as the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. He can feel Aaron’s eyes on him, burning into him, and he lets out a shaky breath as a hand wraps around his cock. “Yes, please…”

Aaron’s hand speeds up, and Alex knows that they’re both close. Aaron’s movements are erratic, and whenever Alex clenches down on him, choked moans rip their way from Aaron’s throat, causing shivers to run down Alex’s spine.

“Aaron, Aaron.” Alex tries to take a deep breath, but his whole body feels like it’s vibrating. “God, I’m-please, I’m so-“ He moans loudly when Aaron growls, his hips somehow moving even faster, and his hand is doing wonderful things as it continues to move up and down his length. “Oh fuck, fuck, Aaron, I’m-“ Alex moves his hips down once more and a shout leaves him, his cock pulsing as he comes over Aaron’s hand and onto his chest.

“Yes.” Aaron encourages, hand still moving, wringing out every last drop and making Alex shudder. “You look so good when you come, you-“ He breaks off when Alex clenches around him, and then his head slams down onto the pillow as a wordless cry leaves him, and Alex feels his hips buck up once more before stilling.

Alex immediately leans down, pressing his lips to Aaron’s as the man comes down from his orgasm. He kisses him softly as Aaron's breathing starts to even out, and he slowly climbs off of Aaron, hissing slightly when he slips out of him.

They clean up quickly and then throw on some sweatpants before heading back into the living room. Alex watches from the couch as Aaron brings him a glass of champagne and a hot pocket, smiling at how ridiculous and perfect this moment is.

Once they've finished eating, they cuddle on the couch and turn on one of Aaron’s nature documentaries . Alex feels himself nodding off as he rests his head in Aaron’s lap. He tries to stay awake, wanting this night to last forever, but then Aaron’s hands are in his hair, fingernails scratching his scalp gently and Alex hums in contentment. Before he can fall asleep completely, he hears Aaron start to laugh.

“Remember when we first started dating and you said that you had a feeling that Thomas would be strangely involved in our relationship?” Aaron asks him, and Alex snorts, burying his face into Aaron’s thigh as he laughs.

“Well, as always, I was right.” Alex says once he’s recovered, and he hears Aaron make a skeptical noise in the back of his throat, which makes him smile. He closes his eyes again as Aaron’s fingers continue to brush through his hair, feeling happier than he ever had. “Hey, Aaron?”

“Hm?

“I kind of really love you.”

“I kind of really love you too, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES IN THOMAS'S HOUSE!!!!!!!
> 
> ALSO I meant to post the links to what Aaron and Thomas's suits look like but I lost the links. But if you go over to my blog, you'll see the lovely @hollaatmetho's and I believe @simply-a-story-teller's submissions somewhere as to what they should wear. 
> 
> Also a bunch of people helped me decide what Thomas and James's wedding would include (like the slideshow and first dance music antics, so S/O to everyone who helped me out with this chapter.
> 
> Only one more chapter to go! As always, thanks for reading. Kudos and comments are loved and appreciated. Come follow me on tumblr @fanciful-follies if you want to! :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, it's the last one guys. Endings are always hard, but I hope you like it.
> 
> Enjoy x

**_~ Seven years later ~_ **

Aaron is somewhere between being awake and asleep when he feels a small tug on his shirt.

He mumbles under his breath and tries to turn to his other side, but he forgets that Alexander is pressed up against his back, and his arm around Aaron’s waist stops him from rolling over. Aaron tries to fall back asleep, but feels another tug on his shirt, this one much harder, and he lets out a sigh.

“Papa?” The voice is soft, and Aaron cracks one of his eyes open, taking in the blurry form of his daughter standing at the side of their bed, looking at him with wide eyes.

Aaron opens both eyes, blinking a few times in an attempt to push the lingering feeling of sleep from his mind. Once he feels somewhat conscious, he smiles and reaches out a hand to brush a curl off of his daughter’s face.

“What’s wrong, Theo?” Aaron whispers, trying to not wake Alexander.

“I had a bad dream.” She responds, voice wavering. Her lower lip is pushed out in a pout, and Aaron can see it starting to shake.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Aaron sits up slowly, carefully pushing Alexander’s arm off of him so he can swing his legs over the edge of the bed. “Do you want to tell me what it was about?” He asks, but Theo shakes her head. “Do you want to try to go back to bed?” He smiles when she shakes her head again, and then leans over to scoop her into his arms as he stands up.

Theo wraps her arms tightly around Aaron’s neck, and he rubs her back soothingly as he walks down the hall, past Theo’s bedroom and out into the living room. Aaron still isn’t entirely used to the house, not after living in his old apartment for so many years, but him and Alexander had decided to move into a bigger house about a year after they got married. They knew that if they wanted to adopt, they would need a bigger house to accommodate a bigger family.

And adopting Theo had been one of the best decisions of Aaron’s life.

He carries her over to the piano that is resting against one of the walls, sitting down on the bench and situating Theo on his lap. He reaches out and presses down on one of the keys gently, letting the noise ring out into the room.

“Are you nervous about school starting tomorrow?” He asks, watching as Theo reaches out and presses one of the keys on the right, a high note chiming out, which is her way of telling him yes. “Are you nervous about meeting the other kids?” A low note, no. “About being away from home?” A pause, then another high note rings out.

Aaron wraps his arms around Theo, resting his chin on the top of her hair as he thinks. All of this is uncharted territory. Being a father, it’s something he’s wanted for so long, but he’s finding out that he has no idea if he’s doing any of it right. But he also wouldn't give it up for anything.

“It’s okay to be nervous.” Aaron says after a few more minutes, pressing a kiss to the top of Theo’s head. “But you’re going to have so much fun, I promise. You’ll make a ton of friends, you’ll get to have play time, just like you do here, and you know what else? Me and your Dad will be there every day to pick you up and take you back home, even when you’re begging us to let you stay just a little bit longer because you’re having such a good time. Does that sound good?”

Theo giggles, and she presses down hard on one of the keys, another high note ringing out. Aaron smiles and moves his hands to Theo’s waist, tickling her gently and chuckling when she lets out a shriek of laughter.

“What are my two favorite people doing awake at this hour?”

Aaron turns at the sound of Alexander’s voice, seeing the man leaning against the wall and watching them with a sleepy smile, his hair sticking up in certain areas and his feet only halfway into his slippers. Aaron feels a tug on his heart at the sight; Alexander still takes his breath away, even after all these years.. Theo squirms her way off of Aaron’s lap and runs over to Alexander.

“Daddy!” She raises her arms and Alexander steps forward to pick her up, swinging her around in the air before pulling her close and letting her wrap her legs around his waist. “I had a bad dream, but Papa let me play the piano, and I feel better now.”

“That’s good.” Alexander says, smiling over at Aaron before looking back at Theo. “And now I bet you’re wide awake, huh? Yeah. That’s what I thought. This was your evil plan, wasn’t it? You wanted us all to wake up so we could have fun.”

“No! No it wasn’t, Daddy I wouldn’t do that.”

Aaron laughs from where he is, then stands up and walks over to Alexander and Theo. Once he reaches them, he taps Theo’s nose with his finger, giving her a fake stern look.

“Theo, are you telling the truth?”

“Yes.” Theo says, but then she giggles and buries her head in the crook of Alexander’s neck, picking at the fabric of his shirt.

“Theo…”

“Can we watch the animals?” She asks, looking up at Aaron, and Alexander laughs loudly, shifting Theo higher up on his waist.

“I knew you had ulterior motives.” He says, ruffling her curls. “You’re just like your Papa.”

“Please.” Aaron snorts. “She gets that from you.”

Alexander sticks out his tongue at Aaron, but moves over to the couch with Theo while Aaron turns on the TV. He sits down beside them and scrolls through Netflix until he finds one of the documentaries they had started last night. He presses resume and leans back into the couch as the narrator starts discussing the swimming habits of penguins.

It only takes ten minutes for Theo to fall asleep, her head resting against Alexander’s thigh, and Aaron can’t help the smile that spreads across his face as he looks at them both. He knows that every parent and spouse must think this, but Aaron is pretty sure that he has the best family in the world.

Of course, things aren’t always easy or perfect; him and Alexander still fight sometimes, get on each other’s nerves and snap out. And raising a five year old is not a task that goes smoothly at all times. It's hard, but things always work out, and Aaron couldn’t be happier with the way things are.

Marrying Alexander and getting to raise Theo with him, that is something that Aaron will always be grateful for.

Alexander must sense he’s being looked at, because he suddenly turns his head to look at Aaron. He looks at him for a moment, and then reaches out the hand that isn’t resting on Theo’s back to trace Aaron’s face.

“Is she nervous about school?” Alexander whispers, and Aaron nods, exhaling softly as he leans into Alexander’s touch, his wedding ring cold against Aaron's skin.

“She’s nervous about being away from home for the whole day.”

“It’s only for six hours.”

“Mmm.” Aaron sighs again. “She’ll be fine. I told her we’d be there to pick her up every day. That seemed to calm her down.”

“What about you?” Alexander asks with a small smile. “Did it calm you down?”

“I’m perfectly calm.” Aaron mumbles, embarrassed at how well Alexander can read him sometimes. “I just…I’m only a little nervous, okay? I’m fine. I just…I don’t see why parents can’t stay the first day, I think that-“ He breaks off when Alexander starts to laugh and narrows his eyes at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Alexander says, leaning forward to press a kiss to Aaron’s cheek. “Aaron, come on, Theo is going to be fine, she's a brave girl. She’ll get there and have a great time and she’ll _still_ want to come home every day. Nothing is going to change!”

“Hm.” Aaron crosses his arms and leans his head down onto Alexander’s shoulder, nerves still swirling in his stomach. “Maybe we should just home school her.” He feels Alexander’s shoulders shake as he laughs again, and feels his own lips curve into a smile.

He doesn’t even notice that he’s starting to drift off until Alexander is shaking him awake, whispering that they should put Theo back to bed. Aaron follows Alexander back down the hall, watching from the doorway as Alexander carefully lays Theo in her bed, tucking the covers over her and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Then he pulls Aaron back into their room, pulling the covers over them both as he curls around Aaron and rests his hand on his chest. Aaron smiles when Alexander starts to trace small patterns onto his chest over his shirt, the movements soothing and calming him down.

“You’re a pretty great husband.” Aaron murmurs as his eyes close, one of his arms wrapping around Alexander so he can play with his hair.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” Alexander murmurs back, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s shoulder.

Aaron hums at the contact and pulls Alexander closer. He can feel Alexander’s heart beat against his side, and that combined with Alexander’s steady breathing is enough to pull Aaron into a deep sleep.

-

The next morning, Aaron’s nerves are back at full force.

Breakfast goes well enough, all three of them sitting at the table eating muffins. But then Theo starts asking more and more questions about school, and Aaron starts to panic, thinking that none of them are prepared for this day. His hands are shaking so much that he spills coffee on himself, causing him to swear loudly.

Then he starts pacing around the house until Alexander finally convinces him to go and take a shower while he makes Theo’s lunch. So Aaron stands under the stream hot water and tries to take deep breaths. He knows he’s overreacting, but this is something new in his life, dropping his daughter off at school and spending the whole day without her. He hasn’t had to do that yet, and he can’t help but be nervous.

When he gets out of the shower, Theo is hopping around the kitchen in the new dress they had bought her, and Aaron feels his nerves lessen just a tiny bit. If she’s excited, then he should try to be too. He can do this.

He brings Theo over to the couch so they can go through her backpack and make sure she has everything. Aaron double and triple checks the materials while Theo bounces up and down on the couch, chattering away and asking Aaron what he thinks their teacher will have them do today. Aaron says he’s not sure before standing up to check on the food Alexander is making.

“Did you cut the sandwich in half they way she likes?” He asks, and Alexander rolls his eyes before saying yes. “And you packed her a juice box, right? And-“

“Aaron.” Alexander closes Theo’s lunchbox and turns towards him. “I love you, but you’re driving me crazy, and I might have to kill you if you keep asking questions.”

Aaron wants to argue, but he snaps his mouth shut and nods, choosing instead to take a deep breath through his nose. Alexander grabs the car keys from the counter as Aaron takes Theo’s hand, and they all get into the car to drive over to the elementary school.

On the way there, Aaron tries to focus on the continuous stream of Theo’s excited chatter, but the nerves are still there. He jumps slightly when Alexander moves one hand from the wheel to wrap it around Aaron’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. The gesture reminds Aaron that he isn’t in this alone.

They pull up to the school and exit the car, each of them taking one of Theo’s hands. They swing her over the curb and walk over to where the classes are gathering outside of the building to meet their teachers. They find Theo’s class easily and wait with her, Aaron probably squeezing her hand a little too tightly, because Theo keeps shifting and looking up at him with furrowed brows.

“Papa?” She whispers, and Aaron looks down at her. “Are you nervous?”

Aaron blinks at her a few times; he’s always surprised by how perceptive she can be. She continues to look up at him in concern, and then Aaron nods, giving her a small smile.

“It’s okay.” She squeezes his hand. “I’ll play the piano with you when I get home so you won't be nervous anymore. Will that make you feel better?”

“Yeah, sweetheart.” Aaron says, feeling tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes. “That would make me feel a lot better.”

Theo grins at him and starts to swing their arms back and forth happily. Aaron continues to look down at her, wondering how they had gotten so lucky with her, but then he hears Alexander sigh dramatically next to him, pulling him from his thoughts.

Aaron turns his head to follow Alexander’s gaze and sees Thomas and James walking over, their own daughter, Lucy, racing over to where her first grade class is gathering.

“Papa!” Theo tugs on Aaron’s hand. “Papa, can I go say hi to Lucy?”

“Make it quick, okay? You’ll have to go inside soon.” Aaron keeps an eye on Theo as she runs over to Lucy, the two of them talking to each other excitedly. Then he hears Alexander sigh again, and he turns his head to see Angelica and Maria walking towards them as well.

“I don’t see why you had to make Angelica and Jefferson Theo’s godparents.” Alexander mutters for probably the hundredth time since they had adopted Theo. “I mean, Angelica is fine, but _Jefferson?”_

“They’re my best friends, Alexander. And you didn’t want any of your friends to be the godparents, so.”

“You’ve met my friends, there’s a good reason for that.” Alexander says, and Aaron laughs loudly at that, turning to smile at the two approaching couples.

“Aaron!” Angelica pulls him into a hug once she reaches him. “We just wanted to stop by to see Theo off. How are you doing? Ready to see your little girl grow up?”

“No, but thanks for reminding me.” Aaron jokes when he pulls back, but he smiles at her and turns his attention to Maria. “And how are you doing? Ready to bring _your_ little girl into the world?”

Maria laughs and presses a hand to her stomach, and Angelica moves back over to her, pressing her lips to her wife’s in a brief kiss.

“We’re more than ready.” Maria says, taking Angelica’s hand, both of them looking excited. “Just two more months. But…” She looks between Alexander and Aaron. “We’d also love some parenting advice, if you two would want to sit down with us.”

“You should be asking James and I.” Thomas cuts in, throwing an arm around Aaron’s shoulders. “We give much better advice, trust me.”

“Good one, Jefferson.”

“Shut up, Hamilton, or I’ll-“

“How about we all meet up later?” Aaron interjects before things can escalate. They are around a bunch of children, after all. He nudges Thomas in the ribs, and he backs away with a snort, but then he looks at Aaron more seriously.

“You look nervous.” He says, eyes searching his face. "You're not going to throw up or something embarrassing like that, are you? Theo would never forgive you for that. She'd be known as the girl with the Dad who threw up."

“Gee, Thomas, thanks." Aaron says with a roll of his eyes. "I definitely feel better now.” Aaron turns away from Thomas to look for Theo, and he waves her over. Once she’s in front of him, he kneels down and straightens the collar of her dress. “Alright, honey, you ready for your first day of school to begin?”

“Yes, Papa!” Theo says, eyes wide with excitement. “Lucy told me that we get playtimes and even get to take naps. Do you think the teacher will let us watch the animal shows that me, you, and Daddy watch?”

“I don’t know.” Aaron responds, chuckling softly. “But we can always watch them once you get home, does that sound good?”

“Yeah!”

Aaron gives Theo a quick hug before standing up, watching as Alexander leans down in front of her next, pulling the strap of her backpack higher on her shoulder. Theo giggles at something Alexander says, and Aaron feels a warmth spread through him as Alexander pulls her into a hug and presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“Okay, class!” Ms. Jameson, Theo’s teacher, calls from where she’s standing. “Everybody follow me inside so we can begin the day!”

Theo waves at Aaron and Alexander as she turns around and trots after the rest of her class, and Aaron waves back, taking a deep breath. _It’s just six hours_ , Aaron reminds himself. He turns to look at Alexander, who is watching Theo walk away and biting his lip.

“Maybe we should…” Alexander trails off and looks at Aaron, his eyes suddenly looking slightly panicked. “Maybe we _should_ stay? We could ask the teacher and just stay for like half the day to make sure that Theo is okay and then we can-“

Aaron leans over and presses his mouth to Alexander’s, cutting him off mid-sentence. He smiles against his husband’s lips for a moment before stepping away. Alexander opens his eyes slowly, blinking at Aaron before smiling back, and Aaron feels the warmth already blooming in his chest grow even more.

“She’ll be fine.” Aaron says, taking Alexander’s hand and giving it a tiny squeeze. “Besides, now we have to whole day all to ourselves, to do whatever we want.” He smirks when Alexander’s face takes on a faint blush, and then jumps when he hears the noise of someone clearing their throat loudly.

“Well,” Thomas says with his eyebrows raised, “clearly you two are going to be fine. James wanted to invite you to brunch to make sure you didn't come rushing back to the school, but it looks like you two have something else in mind to occupy yourselves for the day.”

“We’ll see you later, Thomas.” Aaron says, clapping a hand on his friend’s shoulder and nodding at James. “We’ll take a rain check on brunch.” He looks over to Angelica and Maria. “And you two should come too.”

They all say their goodbyes, and Alexander and Aaron make their way back the car. Aaron looks over at Alexander when he starts to laugh.

“What?”

“It’s just…” Alexander laughs again and shrugs. “Life can be weird sometimes."

“What do you mean?”

“I just never thought my life would include going on triple dates with Thomas Jefferson and Angelica Schuyler.” He knocks his shoulder into Aaron’s and smiles. “And even weirder, I’m happy about it…I’m _glad_ my life includes those triple dates.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” Aaron teases as they climb into the car. He lets out another sigh as Alexander starts to pull out of the parking lot, the school building getting smaller and smaller as they drive away.

“You know,” Alexander starts, and Aaron turns to look at him, “this is probably going to seem like a really insignificant day further down the road. Like Theo’s first day of high school will be way scarier. Or her first date, her first kiss, her first day of college, the day she gets married will probably be the most-“

“Alexander.” Aaron says with a short laugh, holding up a hand to stop him. “She’s only five, let’s not start planning her wedding.”

“Sorry.” Alexander says, looking over at Aaron and shooting him a quick smile. “It’s just…she’s growing up, ya know? It’s…”

“Terrifying?” Aaron finishes, and Alexander laughs loudly and nods. “I agree, but let’s not think about her going off to college just yet. I’m not ready to start thinking about having an empty nest.”

“You know, if we got a dog, we wouldn’t have a-“

“No. I've told you a million times, we are _not_ getting a dog.”

“But just think about it! A cute, fluffy dog that Theo would love and-“

“And that I would have to clean up after all the time?” Aaron asks, snorting when Alexander sticks out his lip in a pout. “Yeah, sounds adorable.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Hmm.” Aaron smiles and reaches out one of his hands so it’s resting on Alexander’s thigh. “Why don’t you get us home so I can show you just how fun I can be.”

A little while later, Aaron and Alexander are lying on the bed, their legs tangled up and their arms wrapped around each other. Aaron cards his fingers through Alexander’s hair, shivering slightly when Alexander breathes out against his neck, his lips brushing the skin occasionally. He hums as Alexander scoots closer, opening his arms wider to accommodate the movement. Then he lets his eyes roam around the room, taking in the collection of photos that had been put up over the years.

There are still the ones of Aaron and Theodosia on their dresser, one of them from college hanging on the wall, but there are new ones too; there's one of Alexander and Aaron at their wedding, one of Alexander holding baby Theo in his arms as Aaron hugs him from behind, one of them in front of a Christmas tree during their first Christmas as a family, and one of Aaron holding Theo’s arms as she tries to walk over to Alexander, who is kneeling with his arms wide open, ready to catch her if she falls.

Aaron feels his lips curve up into a smile as he continues to looks at the pictures. Him and Alexander have built a life together, one that Aaron loves, one that he never thought he would have, one that he is so _happy_ to have. He lets his eyes flutter close for a moment, but then he feels Alexander’s lips forming a smile against his skin.

“What?” Aaron asks, moving his hand from Alexander’s hair to his back, and Alexander looks up at him with a bright smile.

“Do you ever think about fate?” He asks, and when Aaron raises an eyebrow in response, Alexander rolls onto his back so he can look at Aaron more easily. “I mean, you handled Maria’s divorce and then she married Angelica, Eliza and Herc met through me and are now engaged, Laf and Peggy met through work and are off celebrating their third wedding anniversary, your Jon and my John met through us and are dating. And then…me moving next to you…I might not have ever met you if that hadn’t happened. It’s just…strange.”

“A bad strange?” Aaron asks, and Alexander shakes his head.

“No! No, a very good strange.” Alexander says, and then he winks. “Well, besides all the double dates we’ve had to go on with Jefferson and Madison. But all of this?” Alexander gestures around the room. “All of this is great, and I’m…I’m just really glad that I moved in next door to you all those years ago.”

Aaron smiles and turns onto his side so he can lean over to kiss Alexander, letting one of his hands trail over his jaw so he can angle his head, deepening this kiss. Alexander sighs against his lips, and then lets out a happy noise when Aaron rolls over on top of him, nipping at his lower lip in the process.

“Slow down.” Alexander chuckles when Aaron starts kissing his neck, right on the spot he knows Alexander loves. “We’re not as young as we used to be.”

“Just wanted to kiss you.” Aaron murmurs, pulling back and brushing a stray strand of hair from Alexander’s forehead. He presses his lips to his again, loving how soft Alexander's lips are. “Want to kiss you all the time.”

“Now, I would ever say no to that, but it could make certain things rather complicated. Like driving or even walking could get tricky or even-“

Aaron cuts off the rest of what Alexander was going to say by kissing him again, inhaling sharply when Alexander’s tongue runs over his lip. Alexander pushes at Aaron’s chest until he rolls over onto his back, and then Alexander is sitting on top of him, breathing heavily as he looks down at Aaron.

“Did you want to do anything else today?” He asks breathlessly. “It is our first day without Theo, so I don’t know if you wanted to go out, I mean, this is good, this is great! I just, should we go out?”

“I’m kind of okay with just this.” Aaron admits with a grin, running his hands up and down Alexander’s thighs. “We haven’t done this in awhile, I just want to be in bed all day.”

“Kinky, but I’m kind of okay with it too.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Aaron says, moving his hands to tickle Alexander’s sides, causing him to squeal and jump off of him. “I meant just relaxing until we have to pick Theo up.”

“No fun.” Alexander says, but he smiles and scoots back over to Aaron and rests his hand on his chest, running it over Aaron’s skin, causing goosebumps to rise up.

They lie there in silence, hands roaming over each other, and Aaron feels more relaxed than he has in awhile. He looks down at Alexander, who is humming softly under his breath as his hand continues to run up and down Aaron’s chest. Aaron lets his mind wander, and he keeps going back to what Alexander had said, about how strangely things had turned out, and about what he had said about fate.

“Hey, Alexander?” Aaron whispers into the room, and he feels Alexander’s hand stop its path down his chest. “I’m really glad you moved in next door to me too.”

“Yeah?” Alexander responds, and Aaron can hear the smile in his voice. “Even though I bothered you all the time? So much that I even had to give you earplugs as an apology?”

Aaron laughs but pulls Alexander closer and kisses him. He’ll never get tired of kissing him.

“Even though you bothered me all the time.” Aaron affirms, tracing the edge of Alexander’s face with his fingers. “Even though you annoyed the hell out of me.” He presses another kiss to Alexander’s lips. “Even though you knocked on my door over, and over, and over, driving me crazy until I opened it.” Aaron kisses him one more time before pulling away, their noses brushing. “But I’m really glad that you kept knocking on my door.”

They fall silent again after that, curled around each other as they drift in and out of sleep. At some point, Aaron doesn’t know how long it’s been, he hears Alexander take a deep breath, and then there is a hand cupping his cheek gently.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“Hm?”

“I’m really glad that you kept opening the door.”

_**~ END ~** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :,) 
> 
> And just like that, this story is done! I struggled so much writing this last chapter cause I didn't want it to end lol. I honestly could have written a 30 pages epilogue, but I think this chapter ended the story nicely. Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with it the whole way through, it means so much!!!! 
> 
> I've got another hamilton fic going right now, I'll See You On The Other Side, if you want to read that, and I've got a few other ideas floating around as well, if I can ever get those down onto paper. Also head over to tumblr and follow me @ fanciful-follies if you want to!
> 
> Thanks again everyone! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Aaron, he never asked for this life. BUT HE'S GONNA GET IT ANYWAY! Who's excited??? 
> 
> Come talk to me over on tumblr @fanciful-follies. Message me privately if you want to know my main blog, which is more active.


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